I'M A SERIAL KILLER

minister poxbottle

:(Hi all i'v been driving all sorts of vehicles for about 30 years, the other evening i ran over and killed hedgehog this got me thinking of the poor unfortunate animals i killed over the years here's the list.
1 large dog
3 cats
2 pigeons
1 pheasant
1 unidentified bird (bigger than a seagull smaller than a goose)
numerous small birds
half a dozen rats
3 rabbits
1 hedgehog
so my question is what have you killed?

FunkZ

Your GF, she was a Doberman.

CreepingDeath

Don't mind running over hedgehogs, they're a bunch of pricks !

Daemos

Corn Flakes

My name is URL

I've never killed any animal on the road.. I've come close but have always managed to avoid it.. Maybe you're just a **** driver

Elliemental

I've been driving for just over a decade, and I can't honestly say that I kept a list. However, I am sure that I too, am a serial killer.
However, I like to think I atoned somewhat by rushing an injured cat to the vets and getting him patched up (and it wasn't me driving, either).

Trashbat

Hi OP,

Please do not attempt to drive near any schools.

Seriously, are you trying to hit those animals? Most people go their entire lives with maybe the life of one or two pigeon's on their conscience.

kfallon

I killed the radio star

No wait, that was 'video'

Phew!

Kiera

I dont think i've ever killed an animal. I'm one of those idiots who see's a bird coming for the car and duck my head while driving

stovelid

Sadly, I don't think interspecies killing qualifies you as a serial killer, OP.

You didn't see Peter Sutcliffe or Ted Bundy sneaking pigeons and gerbils into their kill tallies, in fairness.

Concentrating your slaughter in one animal group would be a small start at least.

Best of luck.

Standard Toaster

I hit a pigeon once at speed...exploded into a ball of red feathers.

I think the lil guy went on to live tho...

ScumLord

About 5 birds, they keep flying across my path instead of towards the fields.

Ran over one cat, it kept running but I definitely got him.

javaboy

A cat ran out in front of me the other day out of nowhere. I had to swerve three times before I hit him.

alwaysadub

Only thing i know of killing is a little bird that decided to fly out in front of me. I know i killed it cos later that day one of my friends was leaning against the bonnet and wondered what was digging into her leg-it was the dead bird that had managed to get stuck in the front grille. I'd driven about 40 miles with its little head sticking out at the front!

Tallon

1,221,657,158 and counting

Warning: Graphic

Mitch Connor

came close to killing a fox on the M50 a while back. Would have been well clear if he had not doubled back when almost across the road. Missed him by centimeters I reckon.

ScumLord

javaboy wrote: »

A cat ran out in front of me the other day out of nowhere. I had to swerve three times before I hit him.

I was in a bus driven by a farmer who actually did that, the only difference was the animal was a badger, "spread TB the cunts".

Trashbat

stovelid wrote: »

Sadly, I don't think interspecies killing qualifies you as a serial killer, OP.

You didn't see Peter Sutcliffe or Ted Bundy sneaking pigeons and gerbils into their kill tallies, in fairness.

Concentrating your slaughter in one animal group would be a small start at least.

Best of luck.

Actually David Berkowitz otherwise known as the son of sam killer, started off by killing Dogs. Murder of Animals is like a gateway drug. OP will eventually look for bigger thrills and start running over people.

Still though, well done for diversifying your species. It'll provide many transferable skills for your CV.

fonecrusher1

minister poxbottle wrote: »

:(Hi all i'v been driving all sorts of vehicles for about 30 years, the other evening i ran over and killed hedgehog this got me thinking of the poor unfortunate animals i killed over the years here's the list.
1 large dog - I'd feel a bit guilty
3 cats - not good.
2 pigeons - couldn't give a sh!t.
1 pheasant - couldn't give a sh!t.
1 unidentified bird (bigger than a seagull smaller than a goose) - couldn't give a sh!t.
numerous small birds - couldn't give a sh!t.
half a dozen rats - couldn't give a sh!t.
3 rabbits - couldn't give a sh!t.
1 hedgehog - couldn't give a sh!t.
so my question is what have you killed?

Knocked down a rabbit & a fox by accident. On two different occasions obviously.

Poor old fox lived for about 10 minutes after i hit it. I dragged it over to the side of the road & just watched it fade away. Nothing i could do.

Felt a bit guilty but it ran out in front of me while i was doing about 60kph on a little country road. Poor fecker. I like foxes.

Sea Sharp

I've killed:

5 dogs,
7 birds,
9 cats
and 2 old ladies.

I intend on adding to the list when I start driving.

:pac:

Starburst85

Do you not drive with your eyes open? How are you killing so many animals!!

SugarHigh

My name is URL wrote: »

I've never killed any animal on the road.. I've come close but have always managed to avoid it.. Maybe you're just a **** driver

Swerving to avoid animals* makes you the sh1t driver.



*unless it's something big.

Jonty

GaNjaHaN wrote: »

I've killed:

5 dogs,
7 birds,
9 cats
and 2 old ladies.

I intend on adding to the list when I start driving.

:pac:

do you get bonus points for old ladies?

Scráib

I hit a squirrel once, felt guilty about it for a while days afterwards because it was my fault, went around a long bend a bit too fast.

One time in the Dublin mountains a bloody deer jumped out in front of me! I didn't hit him becuase I managed to slow down and he/she trotted off. Still... killing Bambi and denting your bodywork would make for a crap day wha?

I killed a duck there last year...saw a group of birds walking across the road...it didn't occur to me they were ducks...ploughed straight into the mother..i was like 'ah,why didn't that bird fly outa the way?'..

jd007

Jonty wrote: »

do you get bonus points for old ladies?

Nah they're too easy to hit. :pac:

minister poxbottle

Trashbat wrote: »

Hi OP,

Please do not attempt to drive near any schools.

Seriously, are you trying to hit those animals? Most people go their entire lives with maybe the life of one or two pigeon's on their conscience.

forgot to mention i drive for a living, or is that for a killing any i'v done huge mileage

ScumLord

Scráib wrote: »

I hit a squirrel once, felt guilty about it for a while days afterwards because it was my fault, went around a long bend a bit too fast.

It was not your fault it was the animals fault for not obeying the safe cross code. Obviously they lack our fast learning abilities but the cars been around for a century now for fecks sake it's about time they learned the appropriate action when a large lump of metal is speeding towards you is not to stop and stare at it. I mean they don't stop and stare at other predators.


You did the squirrel population a favour killing off the stupid one.

pickarooney

Just about missed a couple boar one evening coming around a bend. Mad bastards ran across the road.

WindSock

A fox ran under my car once. I stopped to see if he was ok and he'd vanished. Guess the little feck ducked under and pissed off.

minister poxbottle

Starburst85 wrote: »

Do you not drive with your eyes open? How are you killing so many animals!!

they have a fcuking death wish or something:D

ScumLord

minister poxbottle wrote: »

they have a fcuking death wish or something:D

I think birds do get some sort of buzz out of flying out in front of cars. They seem to wait until the last minute then zip across your path. One had a very lucky escape the only thing that saved him was the weird angle he came at caught him up in the aerodynamics of the car.

pickarooney

WindSock wrote: »

A fox ran under my car once. I stopped to see if he was ok and he'd vanished. Guess the little feck ducked under and pissed off.

Probably robbed your purse while you were outside.

OutlawPete

Pighead killed a donkey

...

GavRedKing

Apart from bugs, nothing that I can put proudly on my list, well done OP, kill on, kill on.

mathie

Standard Toaster wrote: »

I hit a pigeon once at speed...exploded into a ball of red feathers.

I think the lil guy went on to live tho...

Unlikely.

minister poxbottle

fcuk good job i didn't mention the time i worked in dublin zoo driving a ride on mower :eek:

Banned Account

I hit Harney whilst driving a tanker - t'was messy and a lot of home owners were left with no oil for a couple of days.

Wazdakka

OutlawPete wrote: »

Pighead killed a donkey

...

What the hell man??
A random 20 post thread from 6 months ago?

That's bordering on an obsession you have with aul Pighead.
Should he be warned to carry a tazer and start wearing a chastity belt??

javaboy

Wazdakka wrote: »

What the hell man??
A random 20 post thread from 6 months ago?

That's bordering on an obsession you have with aul Pighead.
Should he be warned to carry a tazer and start wearing a chastity belt??

It's not the first stalker he's had. There's this one guy who has a serious obsession with him. Everything he posts is "Pighead said this", "Pighead thinks that". Frankly it's disturbing.

take everything

minister poxbottle wrote: »

:(Hi all i'v been driving all sorts of vehicles for about 30 years, the other evening i ran over and killed hedgehog this got me thinking of the poor unfortunate animals i killed over the years here's the list.
1 large dog
3 cats
2 pigeons
1 pheasant
1 unidentified bird (bigger than a seagull smaller than a goose)
numerous small birds
half a dozen rats
3 rabbits
1 hedgehog
so my question is what have you killed?

I'm more interested in the fact you're a serial killer tbh.

MarkR

Came closer then I would have liked to hitting a deer once. Oh, and one bajillion bugs.

phill106

A little sparrow type bird right into the grille of one car. Still stuck to it in carpark.
Hit a pidgeon, hit the bonnet, feathers went everywhere!
Had a suicidal pheasant walk right in front of my car doing 120kph (me, not the pheasant!). He broke fog light cover, and the bits left of him wouldnt be worth eating!

FearDark

In one of my cars:
Killed 2 rabbits in one go, was texting - looked up and boom boom.
Countless birds.
Rolled over a dog, jumped out of a gate, literally rolled over him[with one of the wheels], got out, owner said I couldn't do anything the dog just ran out, I said I was sorry etc, dog lying motionless on ground for 10 mins suddenly got up and went over to his owner, shocked owner took him to vet where he made a full recoverey!

On the motorbike:
A few small birds, one that exploded on my helmet visor.
Hit quite a few dogs that tend to jump out of nowhere on country roads, all survived. [and so did I somehow]

In the big van:
A phesant, off the windscreen, made bits of him.
A sheep, bullbars made him into lambchops.
Reversed into a cow, dented my door.

phill106

MarkR wrote: »

Came closer then I would have liked to hitting a deer once.

Oh Deer......

FearDark wrote: »

In one of my cars:

Reversed into a cow, dented my door.

Did he not Mooooooove?

WindSock

pickarooney wrote: »

Probably robbed your purse while you were outside.

:mad: Out foxed buy a smartie. Again.

FearDark

phill106 wrote: »

Did he not Mooooooove?

It did after I hit it.

take everything

phill106 wrote: »

Oh Deer......


Did he not Mooooooove?

Let's have less of that carrion please.

Deus Ex Machina

stovelid wrote: »

Sadly, I don't think interspecies killing qualifies you as a serial killer, OP.

You didn't see Peter Sutcliffe or Ted Bundy sneaking pigeons and gerbils into their kill tallies, in fairness.

Concentrating your slaughter in one animal group would be a small start at least.

Best of luck.

A symptom of anti social personality disorder, which is very common among serials like those you mention above, is violence towards animals, particularly in one's formative years, so ironically, a good start towards becoming a serial killer would be killing a few animals here and there.

FearDark

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

A symptom of anti social personality disorder, which is very common among serials like those you mention above, is violence towards animals, particularly in one's formative years, so ironically, a good start towards becoming a serial killer would be killing a few animals here and there.

You watch Dexter

Deus Ex Machina

FearDark wrote: »

You watch Dexter

I own a DSM.