Can a farmer be openly gay these days?

JupiterKid

Would anyone here have a problem with neighbouring farmer who was gay?

I have a relative up in Tyrone who is a farm manager and he's out and in a relationship with his partner but he's got very tough skin and has encountered quite a bit of homophobia. He takes it in his stride but I heard that being in a rural area can be very isolating and attitudes in rural areas are much more conservative then urban areas (is this true or a popular myth?).

The reason I ask this question is that I know a couple of gay lads who are from rural areas and two of them will inherit their farms but only one is out to his father, he really wants to take over the farm when his time comes and has loads of ideas on how to modernise and improve the farm but he's very reticent about being out in the area he grew up in. It's acting as a big deterrent for him to take over the farm.:(

So, would anyone on this forum have a difficulty with a local farmer who was gay or would it even be an issue at all?

40040D

Dude you should post this in the LGBT forum and see if anyone can help you...



heres the link http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=255

JupiterKid

I have posted there before, but I didn't get the answer I was looking for. I'm looking for the opinions of farmers and this is the right thread for that IMO.

pajero12

Personally,I don't think it makes a difference to most young people(Let alone farmers) what sexual orientation someone is..I could see it being a problem with the slightly older generation but not enough of a problem to stop him taking over the farm

40040D

JupiterKid wrote: »

I have posted there before, but I didn't get the answer I was looking for. I'm looking for the opinions of farmers and this is the right thread for that IMO.

Ahh no bothers, Personally I don't think it'd really make much of a difference as said above it might to some of the older generations. The majority of people who are not insecure about change and new(ish) things like this, and who have a bitta 'cop-on' will probably not give a sh*t though..

leg wax

no problem here

BeeDI

No problem with the farmer being gay, but if the bull is gay, it's a disaster :eek:

snowman707

no problem as far as I'm concerned,

Daithi BC

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I think attitudes are becoming more tolerant towards gay people, but I'm sure you'll find a few people who have a problem with it.

JupiterKid

Cheers lads! That's good to know and I'll let my friend know.

I think often it's peoples' own self doubts and lack of confidence that's more of the problem than the attitudes of others.

BTW do gay bulls exist?:D

irishh_bob

BeeDI wrote: »

No problem with the farmer being gay, but if the bull is gay, it's a disaster :eek:

never encountered a gay bull , encountered many bi-sexual bulls though , get up on a cracked plate , they would

whelan1

irishh_bob wrote: »

never encountered a gay bull , encountered many bi-sexual bulls though , get up on a cracked plate , they would

we had one who hated the heifers but vet said to give him 5cc of receptol and hey presto tbh i dont see any problem with gay farmers its a bit like the crap women farmers get

poor farmer

i certainly am not bothered
but farmers in my opinion are very conservative

Red Sheds

Wouldnt bother me a bit what way a person is

bogman_bass

but would it be fair to say that farmers posting here are a bit more progressive than the auld lads down the mart?

dar31

bogman_bass wrote: »

but would it be fair to say that farmers posting here are a bit more progressive than the auld lads down the mart?

agree with bogman
it would also depend in that persons involvement in the community, if they are well respected before coming out as to how well it will be taken.
no matter what there will be always whispers behind their back, it just depends how loud they are.

agcons

I think often it's peoples' own self doubts and lack of confidence that's more of the problem than the attitudes of others.

Spot on there JupiterKid. Also people have enough problems of their own, dont think most people care much one way or the other. As I think another poster said if you are a good neighbour thats far more important than someones personal circumstances.
At the end of the day all any parent wants is to see their children happy in their lives, regardless if it is very different to what they might have expected.

foggy_lad

who is the gay farmer going to pass the farm onto when he is past it? this is the issue most older and younger farmers have!

whelan1

foggy_lad wrote: »

who is the gay farmer going to pass the farm onto when he is past it? this is the issue most older and younger farmers have!

who is a bachelor farmer going to pass it on to

haybob

Couldn't care less who he has in his bed tis irrelevant, plenty of the bachelor farmers or the aforementioned auld lads at the mart might be so inclined anyway, I think some lads might be more afraid of a woman farmers but thats another story.

What ever he is, gay, straight, bi sexual, black, brown, green, yellow once they are a good neighbour who give a ****, we all need our neighbours from time to time be it pulling a calf, shifting cattle, and extra tractor at silage whatever it may be.

JupiterKid

Again, very positive and heartening replies. Cheers lads.:)

Someone mentioned bachelor farmers. Why are there so many elderly bachelor farmers about in Ireland? Was it because they couldn't afford to get married?

I wonder if some of those bachelor farmers had grown up in a more enlightened time, maybe they would have formed great (and happy) gay couples running the farm instead of spending their whole lifes lonely and in perpetual self-denial.:(

JohnBoy

I like many others here couldnt care less.

but being honest he/she's gonna want a thick skin.

A lot too though depends on the outward displays of gayness if you know what I mean.

A lot of conservative people dont mind so much what goes on behind closed doors but find public displays of homosexuality (and I'm not talking riding in the village green, just holding hands type stuff) to be very off-putting. That and campness.

But if he's a good hardy lad who just happens to like other lads then he shouldnt have too much grief.


I'm not saying I agree with any of this but if you want to get on in rural ireland then sometimes it's easier to play along than truly be yourself.

Lando Griffin

I would rather have a gay neighbour than some of the kaniving greedy drunken single minded chaps I hear about.

Dusty87

JupiterKid wrote: »

Cheers lads! That's good to know and I'll let my friend know.

Yeeeees, your 'friend':D
Just messing. Wouldn be problems here. Gay dude down the road from me. I dont care, none of my business what he's into. He's still the same fella that he was before he came out. Hes glad he came out.

squarebale

I'm sure that a lot of the bachelors are gay anyway. I know several that are as camp as bedamned and I could'nt care less if they bring a man into the house. There was a gay couple living down the road from me. They were'nt farmers though. There are two farmers sons within a mile of me that are openly gay although one of them was foolish enough to get married and have a family before he "found" himself. I could'nt care less what sexuality a neighbour was as long as he was sound.

irishh_bob

JupiterKid wrote: »

Again, very positive and heartening replies. Cheers lads.:)

Someone mentioned bachelor farmers. Why are there so many elderly bachelor farmers about in Ireland? Was it because they couldn't afford to get married?

I wonder if some of those bachelor farmers had grown up in a more enlightened time, maybe they would have formed great (and happy) gay couples running the farm instead of spending their whole lifes lonely and in perpetual self-denial.:(

many would not have been handed over the farm untill they were in thier 50,s or more , parents were not only very selfish back then , they held on to thier farms like grim death , therefore a young farmer would have had no real financial independance and wouldnt have felt he was able to get married

JupiterKid

I'm wondering why there hasn't really been any attempts by the farming community to address the issue of gay and lesbian farmers - of which there must be quite be few - and the loneliness, isolation and prejudices they face on top of all the difficulties that come with farming as a way of life.

I stumbled across this web forum which deals with the issue of gay farmers in England and a helpline service that has been set up for them. Unfortunately, there are some very bigoted posters on the forum but that's life I suppose.

http://www.fwi.co.uk/community/forums/there-are-300-gay-farmers-in-60107.aspx

So, updating this thread - does anyone know any openly gay farmers around their locality and how are they treated?

keep going

no such thing as a gay farmer sher we are all misery.;) next we ll be having gay hurlers

Arrow in the Knee

As the bar man on the Savage Eye says 'Queers'.

None of them folk around here but there would be plenty in the town.

Not fussed either way as long as my back is against the wall!

areyawell

No problem with it as long as they keep to themselves and not doing it in public. Wouldn't want my kids watching

moy83

areyawell wrote: »

No problem with it as long as they keep to themselves and not doing it in public. Wouldn't want my kids watching

Watching what ?:rolleyes: I wouldnt want my kids watching a gay or straight couple at the bold thing if thats what you mean , but if it was a gay couple living together and running a farm or going out to a job that would be fine .

whelan1

we where talking today about a lad we know his name is the same as our youngest son who is 4, my husband said is x gay? and my son said no i am not!

Black Smoke

whelan1 wrote: »

we where talking today about a lad we know his name is the same as our youngest son who is 4, my husband said is x gay? and my son said no i am not!

So you christened your son X!!
When he grows up I suppose he will sign his name X. -:)

whelan1

Black Smoke wrote: »

So you christened your son X!!
When he grows up I suppose he will sign his name X. -:)

thats the idea

Bizzum

It should make no difference running a farm whether a person is gay, straight, or bi.
But these overtly camp gay men (that the media etc often foist upon us) sicken my arse with the mincing around the place and the affected gayism(if there's such a word!). I find it hard to take them seriously.
If you're gay be a man about it.

Arrow in the Knee

I'm not homophobic but .....

JupiterKid

Given some ignorant, bigoted opinions expressed here is it any surprise that gay farmers stay in the closet?

What is your problem with gay people? We are everywhere and in every walk of life. Get used to it.

jill_valentine

I'm not homophobic but .....

This. Be prepared for a lot of this.

There are a couple of outright loudmouth homophobes inhabiting rural pubs all over the country, but mostly, it's a bit more subtle than that. A lot of people in farming areas wouldn't think of themselves as homophobic, and certainly wouldn't be so consciously, but will display or express homophobic attitudes when that's actually tested in reality.

I'll give you an example of what I mean. A relative's dad died a while ago, and while the whole family had always been awkwardly tolerant about her partner, all of a sudden they couldn't understand why she was so involved in the funeral etc. They got resentful about it and there were a lot of arguments. They were good people, and they'd never said a bad word about the woman before, but it became apparent that when push came to shove, they did not think of her as being on equal terms as the son's girlfriend.

Nobody questioned why the son's girlfriend was taking part in the arrangements, but when the daughter's wife was present or involved it was considered intrusive, she was clearly not treated as part of the "family" in the same way. Even though she had been in the picture for years longer than the son's girlfriend. It was an eye opening experience, let me tell you.

Much more significant than that though, the one big issue is loneliness. Rural and farming life can be very lonely at the best of times, but for a gay person, it's amplified. I'd put it to you this way - everybody's choices are their own to make, in their own individual circumstances - but I would find it very hard to recommend a rural or farming life to a gay person unless they're settled with a partner or have a strong social network already in place.

towzer2010

JupiterKid wrote: »

Given some ignorant, bigoted opinions expressed here is it any surprise that gay farmers stay in the closet?

What is your problem with gay people? We are everywhere and in every walk of life. Get used to it.

Can I ask you what you hope to gain with this thread? Is it that you want your own prejudice confirmed: that all rural/farming communites are bigoted?

Without doubt it must be difficult to be in farming if you are gay but that is true of any other walk of life also.

A relation of mine who is gay and who lived in our community all his life got bet up in Dublin City centre in an unprovoked attack but no one is suggesting that all Dubliners are homophobic.

Attitudes are clearly changing but the farming community do not have a monopoly on bigotry in Ireland.

Bizzum

JupiterKid wrote: »

Given some ignorant, bigoted opinions expressed here .....?

Give us a few examples Kid.

JupiterKid

Can I ask you what you hope to gain with this thread? Is it that you want your own prejudice confirmed: that all rural/farming communites are bigoted?

Without doubt it must be difficult to be in farming if you are gay but that is true of any other walk of life also.

A relation of mine who is gay and who lived in our community all his life got bet up in Dublin City centre in an unprovoked attack but no one is suggesting that all Dubliners are homophobic.

Attitudes are clearly changing but the farming community do not have a monopoly on bigotry in Ireland.

Where did I suggest that the farming community have a monopoly on bigotry?

I just wanted to see posters' views on the issue of gay farmers - an issue I feel has not been discussed or dealt with as it should be.

There are gay farmers out there who are lonely and struggling and they deserve support - not condemnation
or ridicule.

Bizzum

JupiterKid wrote: »

There are gay farmers out there who are lonely and struggling and they deserve support - not condemnation
or ridicule.

Fixed your post;)

Seaba

I think 'down the country' especially, and some older farmers in general, you rarely see/meet/talk to an openly gay person, especially in farming and that leads to a lot of misconceptions, especially that every gay man fancies you and thinks of you in a sexual way. This obviously leads to a lot of uneasiness among some farmers but as a gay friend of the girl I was going out with, once said to me 'we have standards also, just because you're a fella doesn't mean I fancy you'!

Its a vicious circle as one of the ways for things to 'improve' is for more gay farmers to come out, mingle among the community and dispel some of the misconceptions about gay people but obviously if they are not comfortable coming out then......

I think in years to come when some of the younger farmers, not meaning to be ageist, take over the farms, who maybe have travelled a bit in their twenties, met more gay people, are a bit more open, and less 'offended' and shocked at seeing gay people kiss etc etc, then things will be easier for gay farmers and people in general to come out.

But JupiterKid take it easy a little - comments like "Given some ignorant, bigoted opinions expressed here is it any surprise that gay farmers stay in the closet?
What is your problem with gay people? We are everywhere and in every walk of life. Get used to it." are not helpful or constructive and are just provoking. If you ask a sensitive question be prepared for balanced and maybe some unbalanced replies! Just my advice thats all.

huey1975

whelan1 wrote: »

who is a bachelor farmer going to pass it on to

Or the farmer who has no sons?

Bizzum

huey1975 wrote: »

Or the farmer who has no sons?

Whelan1 or Karen would answer that one for ya fairly quick:D

Arrow in the Knee

Are we expecting a boom in gay people in a few years time?

If whats on the telly is anything to go by, we are!! :pac:

bob charles

I really couldnt care less and would be delighted to see two good looking young lesbians moving in beside me. would sure add a bit of flair to the area. Move with the times, I know plenty of gay mates and it doesnt make one jot of difference to my opinion of them. The one thing that does annoy me, is the over representation of gay people in the media.

keep going

JupiterKid wrote: »

Given some ignorant, bigoted opinions expressed here is it any surprise that gay farmers stay in the closet?

What is your problem with gay people? We are everywhere and in every walk of life. Get used to it.

hold on a while,i dont see what you are on about.most people here dont give a dam what people are at as long as it dosent affect them and it dosent.i accept being gay presents its own problems but thats life,we all have problems.as you grow older you build your life surrounded by people that make you feel better and you disassociate from assholes that give you bull**** and that applies to the country/urban, gay/straight corkmen/kerrymen or what ever. go do your own thing and as long as dosent affect anyone and stop trying to kick off something here

bob charles

keep going wrote: »

as you grow older you build your life surrounded by people that make you feel better and you disassociate from assholes - corkmen/kerrymen or what ever.

:D:D

whelan1

huey1975 wrote: »

Or the farmer who has no sons?

or the farmer who has no sons "INTERESTED" in farming

vanderbadger

whelan1 wrote: »

or the farmer who has no sons "INTERESTED" in farming

they will be interested the day of the auction