Embarrassing stories about yourself

Jake LeMotta

"Like this one time..."

Most embarrassing and thing that haunts me still slightly, is as follows.
Was on J1 visa one time in America.

We planned to take a road trip at the end of the three months so we managed to acquire this beat up old truck.
It was a pretty cool wagon except for the fact that it was old and beat up.

Anyways, only two of us had licenses at the time so it was basically me looking after the wagon for the few days before we left.

So anyways, one of the evening I was cruising around and I spotted this flaky looking chick on the sidewalk.
She was eyeballing the wagon, so I slowed going by her and she made towards it then like she was expecting me to stop, so I did.
I rolled down the window.
She was a black chick. She told me she sold crack and pussy.
She also seemed pretty out of it.

Anyways, I had happened to get very little ass that particular summer so I told her to hop in.
I didn't want to catch gonorrhea or some **** off the flake so I told her she should give me dome.

I pulled into this sidestreet parking lot and as soon as I stopped she pulled open her side door and barfed outside.
I didn't want to get bits of sick and **** on my junk so I took this old cigarette pack film that had been lying on the floor and used that, as I had no jimmies.
She gave me dome till I skeeted.

I gave her a twenty for her troubles and we parted company.

When I think of that **** even now it still gives me trouble sleeping...

GAAman

They are gonna tear you apart here

Stinicker

Classy

Teutorix

Jake LeMotta wrote: »

"Like this one time..."

Most embarrassing and thing that haunts me still slightly, is as follows.
Was on J1 visa one time in America.

We planned to take a road trip at the end of the three months so we managed to acquire this beat up old truck.
It was a pretty cool wagon except for the fact that it was old and beat up.

Anyways, only two of us had licenses at the time so it was basically me looking after the wagon for the few days before we left.

So anyways, one of the evening I was cruising around and I spotted this flaky looking chick on the sidewalk.
She was eyeballing the wagon, so I slowed going by her and she made towards it then like she was expecting me to stop, so I did.
I rolled down the window.
She was a black chick. She told me she sold crack and pussy.
She also seemed pretty out of it.

Anyways, I had happened to get very little ass that particular summer so I told her to hop in.
I didn't want to catch gonorrhea or some **** off the flake so I told her she should give me dome.

I pulled into this sidestreet parking lot and as soon as I stopped she pulled open her side door and barfed outside.
I didn't want to get bits of sick and **** on my junk so I took this old cigarette pack film that had been lying on the floor and used that, as I had no jimmies.
She gave me dome till I skeeted.

I gave her a twenty for her troubles and we parted company.

When I think of that **** even now it still gives me trouble sleeping...

Super cool story bro, im not even being sarcastic. :pac:

Leeg17

Legend post Sir.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Did you love her though?

token56

Thats not embarrassing, just sad and pathetic

prinz

Ouch OP. You couldn't get any yourself and even a hooker puked at the though of it.

Quality

I think the heat is getting to people around here today, I dont know which thread is moreamusing. its a toss between this story and the penis story in the mustard forum.

kfallon

Penis story in the mustard forum???? :eek: :eek: :eek:

Quality

kfallon wrote: »

Penis story in the mustard forum???? :eek: :eek: :eek:

Get on it....

Its cuckoos nest material!!

kfallon

Do you have the link, I'm a lazy fooker!

Ronan Keating

They usually make the front cover of The Irish Daily Mirror.

dr gonzo

Jake LeMotta wrote: »

She gave me dome till I skeeted.

This is the stupidest slang ive ever heard.

Where on earth are you from? Philadelphia in 1982?

SUNGOD

"dome" "flake" "skeeted" why use real words when slang can make the story worse
anyway where is the real link?

SUNGOD

back on topic.. my embarrassing story is i actually replyed to the op

friendface

Strangely similar story on sherdog

Kinda glad you made this thread, I did this once and I was pretty ashamed of myself. I haven't been bothered by it that much lately but I really had trouble sleeping a little after my experience. I know that is pretty pussy but anyway here it goes...

So I'm 19 now, but when I was 18 last december I was cruising down the infamous Picacho street here in LC. It is near the government building where I just saw my probation officer and as I was cruising a lady walking by asked me to stop.

I pulled into a parking spot by some shady motel because I was a desperate and horny bastard. She was a black looking chick who claimed to be from Jamaica. She said she sold weed and pussy, I told her she should give me dome.

I think she was cracked out because she opened my trucks door and puked outside. I thought it was disgusting but there was no turning back now. I found a little piece of plastic and put it over my dick so she wouldn't get barf taste/stds on my junk. She gave me dome till I skeeted, then I went home completely ashamed of myself. The only thing that makes me feel better is that I got an STD check in April and I turned out good. That plus I actually have a real girl who is my age now but damn that **** still kind of haunts me.

Jake LeMotta

friendface wrote: »

Strangely similar story on sherdog

Well...

THERE'S THE REAL LINK BRO!!!

I laughed nd then had to tell my housemate the story.. Op for taoiseach!

Hazlittle

I salute you brother!

Mute

friendface wrote: »

Strangely similar story on sherdog

Great detective work my friend!

Is the Op's life so sad that he has to steal other peoples emabarrassing moments?

Well he has one of his own now:D

Jake LeMotta

Mute wrote: »

Great detective work my friend!

Despite the fact that you found that at my expense, I must concur.
How the fock did you find that..

ddef

friendface wrote: »

Strangely similar story on sherdog

http://img715.imageshack.us/img715/8969/xzibitag036.jpg

Sea Sharp

LMAO. Gots to be a troll.

Jake LeMotta

Jake LeMotta wrote: »

Despite the fact that you found that at my expense, I must concur.
How the fock did you find that..

http://www.google.ie/search?hl=en&source=hp&q=dome+till+i+skeeted&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=


Don't copy stories with such strange lingo.. Second result from bottom.

FearDark

Copied and pasted from another forum I'd say. Shít story bro.

MitchKoobski

Jake LeMotta wrote: »

pretty cool wagon
cruising around
flaky looking
eyeballing the wagon
gonorrhea or some **** off the flake
so I told her she should give me dome.
She gave me dome till I skeeted.

What is this? I don't even....what?

stovelid

Busted.

The_Kew_Tour

Robbie Williams is that you?

stovelid

adrian280582 wrote: »

Robbie Williams is that you?

Sal Paradise, I'd say.

Jake LeMotta

token56 wrote: »

Thats not embarrassing, just sad and pathetic

dr gonzo wrote: »

This is the stupidest slang ive ever heard.

SUNGOD wrote: »

back on topic.. my embarrassing story is i actually replyed to the op

Mute wrote: »

Great detective work my friend!

Is the Op's life so sad that he has to steal other peoples emabarrassing moments?

Well he has one of his own now:D

FearDark wrote: »

Copied and pasted from another forum I'd say. Shít story bro.

MitchKoobski wrote: »

What is this? I don't even....what?

Hmmm - it's interesting the degree of disgust this story inspired in some people. (Albiet disgust disguised with contempt, as above)

This might seem like an obvious question, but I have to ask myself why..

When I read this story initially, before plagiarizing it and posting it here, it actually made me respect the original poster.
To have the courage to post it and share it at all.

And also, it's life isn't it. **** like this happens. And by rights its the kind of sh*t we should look back on and laugh.

Do small insignificant incidents like this define us as human beings?
If we're a good hard working, moral and motivated person that lives a genuinely good life but slips up or indulges in something like this occasionally, does that make us a bad person?

**
I read a case in RI forum a couple days back about a girl who said she would never date a guy that had been with a prostitute.

I can't put my finger on exactly what this type of mentality indicates about the person, but I'm sure a lack of self awareness and a certain degree of pretentiousness are some.

Or perhaps it's a case of some people just being unhappy with themselves, so when the opportunity presents itself, they capitalize on the supposed mis-givings of others.

**
Lastly, take a look at this image.



Well, this sport has been popularized in recent years so I guess those who are familiar with it will be desensitized to a certain degree, but when I saw this type of thing for the first time, I was so disgusted.
I felt it was the most brutal and barbaric thing I ever saw and those who engaged in it should be locked up away from normal sane people.

But the fact of the matter is this.

It's a part of us.
To f**k and to fight is a part of every human being, cause we're animals and those are animal instincts.

The story above, whether you like it or not, it's just a fairly normal story.
No one's bounderies were crossed (e.g. like if it was underage sex or rape or something), no one got hurt.

It was consensual, just like when two men step in the ring to fight, it's consensual.
It may not be the most cultivated of behavior, and it may not be the most cultivated way of this type of behavior manifesting itself, but at the end of the day it's just humans being human.

And I salute those who can recognize this and see it for what it really is as oppose to what it's perceived to be by the above posters - for you are truly enlightened.

Einstein

Jake LeMotta wrote: »

Hmmm - it's interesting the degree of disgust this story inspired in some people. (Albiet disgust disguised with contempt, as above)

This might seem like an obvious question, but I have to ask myself why..

When I read this story initially, before plagiarizing it and posting it here, it actually made me respect the original poster.
To have the courage to post it and share it at all.

And also, it's life isn't it. **** like this happens. And by rights its the kind of sh*t we should look back on and laugh.

Do small insignificant incidents like this define us as human beings?
If we're a good hard working, moral and motivated person that lives a genuinely good life but slips up or indulges in something like this occasionally, does that make us a bad person?

**
I read a case in RI forum a couple days back about a girl who said she would never date a guy that had been with a prostitute.

I can't put my finger on exactly what this type of mentality indicates about the person, but I'm sure a lack of self awareness and a certain degree of pretentiousness are some.

Or perhaps it's a case of some people just being unhappy with themselves, so when the opportunity presents itself, they capitalize on the supposed mis-givings of others.

**
Lastly, take a look at this image.



Well, this sport has been popularized in recent years so I guess those who are familiar with it will be desensitized to a certain degree, but when I saw this type of thing for the first time, I was so disgusted.
I felt it was the most brutal and barbaric thing I ever saw and those who engaged in it should be locked up away from normal sane people.

But the fact of the matter is this.

It's a part of us.
To f**k and to fight is a part of every human being, cause we're animals and those are animal instincts.

The story above, whether you like it or not, it's just a fairly normal story.
No one's bounderies were crossed (e.g. like if it was underage sex or rape or something), no one got hurt.

It was consensual, just like when two men step in the ring to fight, it's consensual.
It may not be the most cultivated of behavior, and it may not be the most cultivated way of this type of behavior manifesting itself, but at the end of the day it's just humans being human.

And I salute those who can recognize this and see it for what it really is as oppose to what it's conceived to be by the above posters - for you are truly enlightened.

you're mental

Mint Sauce

well there was this one time, at band camp...

maxxie

wow :eek: just wow

ur strange

Professey Chin

Whoa whoa whoa.
Leave MMA out of your strange STD prostitute story robbing fetishes

piby

OP if you're going to steal other people's embarrassing stories you just at least make sure they are embarrassing rather than just sad.

The worst part was it might have worked had you not kept all the redonkulous hicksville/ghetto slang :rolleyes:

Jake LeMotta

piby wrote: »

OP if you're going to steal other people's embarrassing stories you just at least make sure they are embarrassing rather than just sad.

The worst part was it might have worked had you not kept all the redonkulous hicksville/ghetto slang :rolleyes:

Sad/pathetic/embarrassing - I thought it was hilarious.

Even when I read it again now I still laugh..

ahahahahaha

_feedback_

/cavan accent

Jake LeMotta, you're a gas man