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Ye can't beat a danger ****

  • 07-06-2010 11:02am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 36


    if ye call someones name and see if ye can toss one out before they get into your room.I must try it with a mates mother sometime.
    Tagged:


«134

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    beardybob wrote: »
    if ye call someones name and see if ye can toss one out before they get into your room.I must try it with a mates mother sometime.

    Its so exciting. Stick a cucumber up your arse and you'll have the **** of your life.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,234 ✭✭✭Ardennes1944


    ye're weird


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,257 ✭✭✭SoupyNorman


    beardybob wrote: »
    if ye call someones name and see if ye can toss one out before they get into your room.I must try it with a mates mother sometime.

    Do you have to begin from a fully flacid position?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭Doyler92


    beardybob wrote: »
    if ye call someones name and see if ye can toss one out before they get into your room.I must try it with a mates mother sometime.


    I hope with all my heart you get caught.

    Sexual harrasment I think that's called...?


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    A recent plot line to a "Naughty America" vid?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,413 ✭✭✭✭Basq


    beardybob wrote: »
    if ye call someones name and see if ye can toss one out before they get into your room.
    Unless you're after calling a geriatric.. if you do manage it, it's a pretty poor reflection on you tbh!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,022 ✭✭✭johnny_knoxvile


    think thats dangerous? Try it with live wires around, or while defusing I.E.D's in Iraq...i live on the edge...of decancy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,776 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    beardybob wrote: »
    if ye call someones name and see if ye can toss one out before they get into your room.I must try it with a mates mother sometime.

    Works better if you dial 999, report a fire, and leave the door on the latch while masturbating in the hall.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 36 beardybob


    Well I think its healthy. In fairness a good **** sorts everything out even a bad ride and especially a hang over. The cucumber sound a little too painfull think I'll stick to the shampoo bottle, no risk of it breaking.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 36 beardybob


    stevefinn wrote: »
    ye're weird


    You still read it


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    beardybob wrote: »
    Well I think its healthy. In fairness a good **** sorts everything out even a bad ride and especially a hang over. The cucumber sound a little too painfull think I'll stick to the shampoo bottle, no risk of it breaking.

    Try the electric tootbrush. That could work


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 36 beardybob


    With or without toothpaste???


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,778 ✭✭✭✭Kold


    I prefer to sneak into someone's room whilst they're sleeping and **** over their face.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    This thread is awesome!


  • Posts: 17,378 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    The ultimate danger **** is speeding past the guards, then pulling over and popping one off before they get to your window..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,234 ✭✭✭thetonynator


    Should be automatically put in the list of great threads . . .


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 36 beardybob


    I am certainly going to try the cop one that sounds deadly. sneak into the ladies and try get one out over the door or into cubicle beside, very risky


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,234 ✭✭✭Ardennes1944


    beardybob wrote: »
    You still read it

    yeah....so i could comment and call ye weird


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 700 ✭✭✭kierank01


    lmao


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    kierank01 wrote: »
    lamo
    Laugh ass my off? :confused:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24 jab1


    my first post on boards and its too ths topic,legendary stuff keep it up.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭Fanny Wank


    I always wondered id it OK to have an allied Irish in the car while stuck in traffic

    That would be more an exhibitionist **** though

    Threads about **** are great :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭Fanny Wank


    Do you have to begin from a fully flacid position?

    I really hope not

    I'd have to be almost there to even attempt this

    In any case it's a suicide mission as the smell of jizz would give the show away even if you managed to knock one out in the allotted time


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,943 ✭✭✭abouttobebanned


    The smell of jizz? What kind of food are you eating man?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 36 beardybob


    I'm having one now


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,752 ✭✭✭Odysseus


    One of my clients, I'm a psychotherapist, was in a second hand book shop. Anyway he was reading something that aroused him. He cracked one off in the corner where no-one could see him. I really struggled to stay professional and and not say something like "good show Sir".


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,978 ✭✭✭✭Panthro


    Odysseus wrote: »
    One of my clients, I'm a psychotherapist, was in a second hand book shop. Anyway he was reading something that aroused him. He cracked one off in the corner where no-one could see him. I really struggled to stay professional and and not say something like "good show Sir".

    if you visit the same bookshop as the client, watch out for the book with the pages stuck together


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,555 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    beardybob wrote: »
    if ye call someones name and see if ye can toss one out before they get into your room.I must try it with a mates mother sometime.

    lol thats not a danger ****.

    A danger **** is knocking one out in the back row seat of a carpet munchers convention and getting out of there before any of them in the row in front of you notices your juice in their hair


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 882 ✭✭✭fulhamfanincork


    What about **** into your sleeping girlfriends hand and then tickling her face

    Shall I just leave?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 324 ✭✭Unique User Name


    beardybob wrote: »
    I am certainly going to try the cop one that sounds deadly. sneak into the ladies and try get one out over the door or into cubicle beside, very risky


    Be very careful with this. This can back fire if you'll excuse the pun. Just ask George Mchael what happens if you try this near the law!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 426 ✭✭ddef


    A mate of mine was telling me how he put peanut butter on his sack n got his dog to lick his balls while he wanked.
    he had one hell of a job gettin the white stuff outta the dogs hair before his mother got home.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,943 ✭✭✭abouttobebanned


    And that has killed the thread. Thread dead.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 644 ✭✭✭filthymcnasty


    Odysseus wrote: »
    One of my clients, I'm a psychotherapist, was in a second hand book shop. Anyway he was reading something that aroused him. He cracked one off in the corner where no-one could see him. I really struggled to stay professional and and not say something like "good show Sir".



    I knocked one out in a book shop one time, after reading something particularly filthy in the Farmers Journal.
    When i recounted this yarn to my shrink, who was browsing the internet at the time, I knew i would be assured of confidentiality and sound advice.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    LOL
    Classic AH thread.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    your all amintures.....

    A danger **** is getting a hand job off your boss's wife while hes having dinner with his kids in the resaurant and your in the dry store with his wife......


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    your all amintures.....

    A danger **** is getting a hand job off your boss's wife while hes having dinner with his kids in the resaurant and your in the dry store with his wife......
    Wouldnt be that dry after :P


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Kiera wrote: »
    Wouldnt be that dry after :P
    Depends if she's in the mood - or in the fridge!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Biggins wrote: »
    Depends if she's in the mood - or in the fridge!
    I was talking about after he shot.......oh nevermind. Do i have to explain everything sex related to you, Smallins? :P


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,072 ✭✭✭PeterIanStaker




  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Kiera wrote: »
    I was talking about after he shot.......oh never mind. Do I have to explain everything sex related to you, Smallins? :P
    Explain?
    I prefer a hands on demonstration! :o;)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,752 ✭✭✭Odysseus


    I knocked one out in a book shop one time, after reading something particularly filthy in the Farmers Journal.
    When i recounted this yarn to my shrink, who was browsing the internet at the time, I knew i would be assured of confidentiality and sound advice.

    You would be, hence no name of the shop or the person. We write papers about clients all the time. God if it was a famers journal I think I would have referred the guy on.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 180 ✭✭Selected


    In times of domestic stress, I usually go for a walk in the woods, find a tree, and choke the chicken. A little bit dangerous when you can hear approaching voices and barking dogs.

    Works for me though.:o


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Selected wrote: »
    In times of domestic stress, I usually go for a walk in the woods, find a tree, and choke the chicken. A little bit dangerous when you can hear approaching voices and barking dogs.

    Works for me though.:o
    What do you do to the poor tree - and what did it do to deserve it? :eek:
    I can see environmentalists claiming date rape here be gawd! :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    Kiera wrote: »
    Wouldnt be that dry after :P


    That's the Kps problem not mine.:)
    :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭DazMarz


    Even if you finished before the other person landed into the room, how do you explain the puddles of fresh semen on the floor/in your hands/on your trousers???

    "Eh, a ghost came in my room... literally..."


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 671 ✭✭✭Ilyushin76


    yuck:mad:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,602 ✭✭✭Funkfield


    What's the difference between an egg and a danger ****?

    You can beat an egg.......


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,290 ✭✭✭bigeasyeah


    Ye cant beat DangerMouse.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    This is why people with beards are odd.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Confab wrote: »
    This is why people with beards are odd.

    Poor Santa. :(


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