Womens Troubles

GampDub

Hey,

My Girlfriends suffers really bad every month! she does be in unreal pain and always likes to remind me how lucky I am!

I offer to go the chemist to get her painkillers but she will never take any!

I offer to rub her stomach/back but she always makes me stop cause its too uncomfortable!!!

I ask what I can do to help but she just says nothing can!!!

Any idea/sugesstions as to what I can do to help ease her pain!? Hate being so helpless for her!!!

Thanks

Linguo

A hot water bottle is always a great help for easing pain!

jildwy

If the symptoms are that bad maybe she should go and see her doctor.

miss5

If she is in pain you should definitely advise her to see her GP.

GampDub

Its the way they have always been aparantley!!! she has been about them before...! Usually only last 2/3 days and the subsides... I just want to see what I can do to help her over these couple of days!!!

Kiera

Some girls dont like to be fussed over when its that time of the month. Maybe offer her cuddles or do something nice for her to take her mind off them? If she's not willing to take pills then there's nothing you can do.

Oo..

Hot water bottles are def one to go for or hot bubble baths or warm showers.
Warm drinks like tea or hot choc are great too.

Lillylilly

Aw, you're so thoughtful.
Hot baths, hot water bottles, massages, cuddles and generally being nice to her should work.
My boyfriend always tries to be agreeable around my time of the month as I'm more tetchy and pretty irrational sometimes. He just lets me be a bit mental. That always helps!

Oo..

yeah its always good to have a nice bitch and moan and just generally give out crap about absolutaly nothing

CathalDublin

Tell her to count herself lucky she hasn't got the dreaded man flu, then she'd know what real pain was.

jokettle

If tummy rubs aren't for her, try stroking her hair. It won't help the pain, but it's very relaxing and always makes me fall asleep I think my boyfriends does it sometimes because he knows I'll drop off and stay quiet

Truley

Please don't eat me for this ... but one of the worst things you can do for period cramps is to sit around and moan about them. Exercising/ staying active can ease the pain and take your mind off them. Alot of women tend to over exaggerate and moan too much about period pains, often because they know men can't relate and so have to take your word for it. They aren't lethal. If she wont take painkillers they obviously aren't that bad. If they are that bad I would seriously look into my health/diet and fitness levels. But yeah, keep active, go for a swim or a cycle, it's not lethal, 50% of the worlds population manage to do it. I know I'm going to be eaten for this...

*runs for cover from angry pms mob*

Oo..

Ah no i would completly agree with you.
Sometimes the best thing to do is to get out and go for a gentle walk or something, takes your mind off it and a bit of gentle exercise is good.
But at the same time its always good to give out for a while:)

GampDub

Thanks all think I'll give the hot water bottle thing a go tonight!!!!

Suppose I just have to grin and bear and it just let her have her moans for the few days!!! Good thing I'm the patient type

Ollchailin

Truley wrote: »

Please don't eat me for this ... but one of the worst things you can do for period cramps is to sit around and moan about them. Exercising/ staying active can ease the pain and take your mind off them. Alot of women tend to over exaggerate and moan too much about period pains, often because they know men can't relate and so have to take your word for it. They aren't lethal. If she wont take painkillers they obviously aren't that bad. If they are that bad I would seriously look into my health/diet and fitness levels. But yeah, keep active, go for a swim or a cycle, it's not lethal, 50% of the worlds population manage to do it. I know I'm going to be eaten for this...

*runs for cover from angry pms mob*

I both agree and disagree with your points- firstly, I agree exercise helps. But I have had some really really bad pains in the past (only around 7 or 8 times in 12 years of periods thank God) and the pain was so immense there is no way I would have been able to take exercise- I was literally doubled over in pain. There are no words to describe how awful the pain is (and makes me really scared that if that's how bad a period can be, what the hell is labour like!) I have thrown up in the past because the pain was so bad- exercise on those occasions was a no-go!

So anyway, if the OP's girlfriend is able for gentle exercise, like a walk, then she should go for it. Otherwise she should take painkillers or see her doctor- sitting around once a month every month crippled with pain is not something that should be happening!

Terri26

and I agree and disagree too. Yes sometimes they are too painful to exercise with but if they are too painful to exercise with then she should take a painkiller. I have been prescribed Aulin now off the market and Difene for my period pains. I dont take them every month as i tr not to take painkillers unless absoultely necessary

Wibbs

Starflower oil or evening primrose oil as a supplement helps over time. Contains GLA which has anti inflammatory effects and may thin the blood. The starflower stuff has more active ingredient. Its one of the omega 6 fatty acids which western diets are often low in, or the ratio to omega 3's is not as healthy as in other diets. I recall reading that diets higher in the omega 6 stuff are less prone to all sorts of ilnesses and conditions so it cant hurt. Olive oil is high in it too. Fish another.


I had an ex who suffered really badly with this. I mean serious pain for which she sought medical advice. Tried the pill, but that didnt agree with her at all. It also affected her mentally and emotionally very badly. She went all gym bunny though and on top of that started to watch her diet and cut out all the crap. As she said herself how she knew the diff was anything she saw as "comfort food" was mostly crap She cut out added sugar and breads across the board. Choccie too around the time of her period. That was hard for her Hard for me too as I ddnt want to thempt her with my chocoholiscm :D

All I can say is that for her anyway she was a changed woman after about 6 months. It wasnt instant, but the pain went away. Some discomfort, but pain no. Same with the emotional stuff too. One doctor suspected early stage PCOS and the symptoms of that went away as well. Mightn't work for all, but maybe worth a try?

Acute relief? The oul hot water bottle defo seems to be a real help. Keeping hydrated, staying away from coffee and the like. That was just my second hand experienc though.

LadyMayBelle

I agree with Truley for the most part; I used to push thoughts of it to the back of my mind and get on without moaning an groaning...altho the older I have gotten the worse it has gotten, and I recall three specific occasions where the pain was UNBEARABLE and I couldn't sleep, eat and to top it all of I tend to get migrane along with it.

Best thing my boy can do: not nitpick at things because I tend to be volatile, not come down with a case of manflu or other illness because tno, you are not worse than me. Be there hands on for tum rubs or hair stroking; for me it helps. Buy me some choc and and not let me feel guilty about eating all of it in one go.

I recall reading on boards somewhere tho, that periods should not be painful. They may cause discomfort, but pain should be looked at by a doctor.

terlywerly

jokettle wrote: »

If tummy rubs aren't for her, try stroking her hair. It won't help the pain, but it's very relaxing and always makes me fall asleep I think my boyfriends does it sometimes because he knows I'll drop off and stay quiet

My OH does that for me too, and I agree about the keeping quiet thing lol cos it works! Also doesn't help the pain, but stroking the crease of your elbow can be very relaxing also (odd, but it works too).

Truley wrote: »

Please don't eat me for this ... but one of the worst things you can do for period cramps is to sit around and moan about them. Exercising/ staying active can ease the pain and take your mind off them. Alot of women tend to over exaggerate and moan too much about period pains, often because they know men can't relate and so have to take your word for it. They aren't lethal. If she wont take painkillers they obviously aren't that bad. If they are that bad I would seriously look into my health/diet and fitness levels. But yeah, keep active, go for a swim or a cycle, it's not lethal, 50% of the worlds population manage to do it. I know I'm going to be eaten for this...

*runs for cover from angry pms mob*

Generally I try to have a walk when I'm feeling particularly bad with period pains, although since I went back on the pill a few years ago I'm pretty much pain free (with the exception of maybe 3 periods). Gentle exercise is good, and if you go with her (maybe walk somewhere nice eg a park or along a river/sea (not sure where exactly you are) ) it can be nice (and distracting).

Other than that, peppermint tea can be good, soothing for the stomach. And maybe burning lavender oil or something too, it can have a calming effect which is good for helping the state of mind.
Having gone through some horrible horrible periods when I was younger I can sympathise.
And well done to you for being such a nice and understanding boyfriend. She's lucky to have you

Truley

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, I am a girl and I have had period cramps in the past. It just wrecks my head when girls make way to much of an issue of it. In my (all girl's) seconday school it got way out of hand the way girls were using periods as an excuse out of everything, in a class of about 30 girls we would often only have half a dozen doing sports because the rest were having period pains. Eventually our PE teacher made a new rule that having your period was not an adequate excuse for getting out of PE - unless you could get a doctor's cert to state genuine problems. There was outright war over it, even parents coming in to complain, threatening legal action!

She even said herself, and am inclined to agree, that she was a woman, that she knows what periods are like, but how can you demand sexual equality as a woman when you're happy to demand special treatment over something like period pains. I'm not denying they hurt, they do, but if they are really impacting on your health/wellbeing it's up to you to do something to change that. And likewise, if it's negatively affecting your moods, make the effort to control yourself, don't drag your feet over it. I hate when I hear my friends talk about what bitches they are during their time of the month, as if it's a genuine medical excuse.

Sorry rant over, I'll get back on topic. OP fair play to you for being so patient. My best advice apart from distraction is hot bath and evening primrose oil.

Jesus aren't you marvellous

/emails link of thread to husband

munstergirl

If your gf period pains are bad she should see a doctor, there is really no need to be in agony every month.

I also find if you do get cramps + focus on them they get worse, so get your mind off them and do some exercise or go for a walk, watch a funny movie.

Surprised no one has suggested SEX yet, absolutly takes mind away period pain.

terlywerly

munstergirl wrote: »

Surprised no one has suggested SEX yet, absolutly takes mind away period pain.

I was only telling my OH about this thread an hour ago and he asked had anyone mentioned sex as a method of relief. I can personally say yes, it is a good distraction and I find as well that it does relieve the major cramping. Some people are a bit iffy about period sex though - but desperate times call for desperate measures

SarahBeep!

Agree with everything she says, buy her chocolate, make her hotwater bottles ans tell her how much you love her!

Jennyfer

Maybe Im the odd one out here but I just like to be left alone if Im having bad period pains! I dont want to be fussed over or be rubbed or stroked! A nice cuppa tea thanks and leave me alone

monkeyfudge

Is pregnancy an option?

Wibbs

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Is pregnancy an option?

Eh a bit extreme donchathink? Like cutting off ones head to prevent a hangover. Though I gather having a baby sometimes resets the mechanism.

GampDub

The hot water bottle worked a treat... she said she got a great nights sleep with it!!!

Brought home a big bag of Malteasers and sat with her to watch Britians Got Talent, managed to even sit through it all withouth making smart comment about the Talentless contestants!!!

Only has to listen to her moan about how much weight she was going to out on after eating all the chocolate!!! Ah well suppose you can't have it all!!!!

Thanks for all the advise, I think I'll definitely have to pop back here again if I'm ever stuck!!!

Assets Model

GampDub wrote: »

Hey,

My Girlfriends suffers really bad every month! she does be in unreal pain and always likes to remind me how lucky I am!

I offer to go the chemist to get her painkillers but she will never take any!

I offer to rub her stomach/back but she always makes me stop cause its too uncomfortable!!!

I ask what I can do to help but she just says nothing can!!!

Any idea/sugesstions as to what I can do to help ease her pain!? Hate being so helpless for her!!!

Thanks

Exercising really helps as does keeping off processed foods and salt.

Madame Razz

Evening primrose oil for the bewb tenderness and Agnus Castus for the other symptoms. Baths with epsom salts can be good if you tend to bloat a little but drink plenty of water during and after the bath:)

RacoonQueen

This should be a global stickie, teach all the mens! :pac:

midlandsmissus

I really don't understand where this whole 'you don't need to put up with painful periods, if you're having pain something is wrong - see a doctor' recent way of thinking came from.

It's not true! Periods can hurt like hell, and there is nothing wrong, only that the natural system of your muscles contracting to expel the womb lining, can and DOES for a lot of women really hurt.

I'm lucky in that most of my periods don't hurt, however I've had about 10-15 extremely painful periods throughout my life that knocked me for six. I remember one of them very distinctly. I was in work and I had a really important meeting in the boardroom to go to in ten minutes. I was in the bathroom in work, curled up on the floor in agony crying it was that unbelievably bad - on painkillers - and then I had to get up and go and sit through an hour-long meeting. I always get sharp shooting pains down my thighs when I get bad periods aswell.
I went to the Doctor after a particularly bad one and there is nothing wrong with me, she said alot of women suffer with painful periods.

I work with a girl who has the most extreme case I've ever seen. I feel so sorry for the poor girl. Every single month she is doubled over in agony, she has to take so many days off work because of it. she told me she's always had dreadful periods, and the Doctors can find nothing wrong.

So it doesn't neccessarily mean there's anything wrong, it's just a cra*py thing we have to put up with. At least there are some really good strong painkillers out there now

RacoonQueen

On the other hand, just because they can't find anything wrong it doesn't mean there isn't anything wrong.

I've clearly been really lucky given some of the stories I read on here. I've always had very light ones and they last a max of three days. Sometimes I'll get quite tired a couple of days beforehand but that and a bit of boob pain is the worst I've experienced.

Feeona

GampDub wrote: »

Any idea/sugesstions as to what I can do to help ease her pain!? Hate being so helpless for her!!!

Thanks

Well in short there's nothing really you can do unless you actually have her periods for her :eek:

Which is impossible, so don't beat yourself up over being helpless. Being understanding and looking out for her is infinitely more valuable than you'll probably ever realise, good for you

I think there should be a Hall of Fame sticky in the Ladies Lounge, for outstanding services to womankind . I'll get back to you if I think of anyone , only kidding! Gampdub, Gampdub, Gampdub!

Pythia

I'm on a strong brand of pill and I still get killer pains. My period always comes on a Saturday so I make sure I have nothing planned that day. I sleep a lot, have a hot water bottle on my tummy, perhaps go for a walk as exercise helps, have a shower, almost OD on painkillers and get the boyfriend to give me a lower tummy rub. The rub is kind of painful in a way but it feels like all the badness is being rubbed away!

SarahBeep!

GampDub wrote: »

Any idea/sugesstions as to what I can do to help ease her pain!? Hate being so helpless for her!!!

Thanks

You are the sweetest man ever. EVER! Also, feminax with codeine. Or neurofen plus as long as she isn't asthmatic. Other that that, a hot water bottle and sweet treats. Or next time get her a pretty cushion to stick at the small of her back when she gets cramps

starbelgrade

GampDub wrote: »

Hey,

My Girlfriends suffers really bad every month! she does be in unreal pain and always likes to remind me how lucky I am!

I offer to go the chemist to get her painkillers but she will never take any!

I offer to rub her stomach/back but she always makes me stop cause its too uncomfortable!!!

I ask what I can do to help but she just says nothing can!!!

Any idea/sugesstions as to what I can do to help ease her pain!? Hate being so helpless for her!!!

Thanks

Man up, dude - give her the remote control & a few choccies, then call your mates up & meet them down the pub.

Drops of Jupiter

HI OP,

I think it is lovely that you care so much for your girlfriend and want to help her through her pain. You sound like a great boyfriend! As for the advice from another poster to "man up" you sound like a really great man to me.

I guess I would say ask your girlfriend what she needs at the time? Sometimes I like my boyfriend to rub my back but sometimes the pain is so bad I am just doubled over and nothing anyone can do will help. Luckily this doesn't happen very often but with a couple of my friends they are bed ridden for at least a day every month depsite pills/ meds etc.

Sometimes girls don't even understand how bad it is. If they don't get really bad pain they can find it hard to empathise.

Ask you girlfriend what she needs and take it from there!

starbelgrade

Drops of Jupiter wrote: »

HI OP,

I think it is lovely that you care so much for your girlfriend and want to help her through her pain. You sound like a great boyfriend! As for the advice from another poster to "man up" you sound like a really great man to me.

I grew up with 3 sisters. The last thing any man wants to do is flap about worrying about a woman having a period. Leave them at it & in a few days they'll be back to normal & the unexplainable madness will also dissapate.

You might worry a bit if it's a new girlfriend, but if you're in a long term relationship, the last thing to phase you will be the monthly moaning & madness... just feed her some biscuits, tell her you love her & go off and do your own thing for a bit.

They'll respect you more for it & your head won't be wrecked - It's a win-win for both parties.

Drops of Jupiter

starbelgrade wrote: »

I grew up with 3 sisters. The last thing any man wants to do is flap about worrying about a woman having a period. Leave them at it & in a few days they'll be back to normal & the unexplainable madness will also dissapate.

You might worry a bit if it's a new girlfriend, but if you're in a long term relationship, the last thing to phase you will be the monthly moaning & madness... just feed her some biscuits, tell her you love her & go off and do your own thing for a bit.

They'll respect you more for it & your head won't be wrecked - It's a win-win for both parties.

In your opinion based on your sisters experience. Some women have vastly different experiences of periods and how it impacts them. I think his girlfriend will know better what she wants/needs and how her boyfriend can help her.

starbelgrade

Drops of Jupiter wrote: »

In your opinion based on your sisters experience. Some women have vastly different experiences of periods and how it impacts them. I think his girlfriend will know better what she wants/needs and how her boyfriend can help her.

I've had a lot more women in my life than my 3 sisters. True, they all have different experiences of periods, but they're just a part of life, not a mini-death. Some women just like to make you think they are.

As I said, leave 'em to it & do your own thing. Most women like a lapdog for a bit, but soon get tired of them.

Drops of Jupiter

[QUOTE=starbelgrade;66266129, but they're just a part of life, not a mini-death. Some women just like to make you think they are.

You wouldn't say that if you were a woman believe me! I have passed out before due to pain! Have some empathy for us please:D

As I said, leave 'em to it & do your own thing. Most women like a lapdog for a bit, but soon get tired of them.[/QUOTE]

True that:D

EnglishPollop

I came off the pill recently and my God, the period pains I have now are EXTREME.

Seriously, last month I couldnt stand up - just sat on the bottom of the stairs rocking backwards and forwards like a loon!

It was agony, couldnt go into work - took Nurofen, had a heat pack on belly, tried a hot bath - nothing really worked, they just faded after about 2-3 hours.

I was crying and felt like I was going to vomit as well - I'm REALLY dreading labour, when the time comes!

If your GF is as bad as this, then I know that she will be completely unable for any form of exercise.
She really needs to take some kind of pain relief though - Diafene work wonders I find, and stay away from tea/coffee.

A hot bubble bath doesnt get rid of the pains but it does relax you more so also try this.

And the hair stroking sounds nice - but then again, when I feel ill I normally like to be left alone, don't really want people fussing around me.

You sound like a lovely guy, she's a lucky girl to have someone so caring

GampDub

Again Thanks for all the advise, this Thread has really taken off.

Love the brave lads giving it all the macho talk on a message board. My guess is they you are single lads... Keep up the good work and I'm sure it'll stay that way!

Fact is I Love my Girlfiend (going out just over 2 years now) and if she is in any kind of pain, discomfort or is generally not well. I will do anything I can to help her because I can be sure she will (and has) done so for me!

My only reason for posting here was purely because this was a 'taboo' topic for me (as is it for most men) so I thought I'd ask the Experts!!!

Thanks for all the praise and kind words, I can assure you I am by no means the perfect boyfriend, but I do try

Xiney

A note on the exercise: it's not just for when you're on your period - doing some exercise on the weeks you don't have your period will help.

starbelgrade

GampDub wrote: »

Love the brave lads giving it all the macho talk on a message board. My guess is they you are single lads... Keep up the good work and I'm sure it'll stay that way!

I'm actually married & very happily so.

When you eventually get to the point where your woman's "troubles" start to become as much yours as hers, you'll be a wee bit more blase about the whole shebang!

Pembily

Truley wrote: »

I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, I am a girl and I have had period cramps in the past. It just wrecks my head when girls make way to much of an issue of it. In my (all girl's) seconday school it got way out of hand the way girls were using periods as an excuse out of everything, in a class of about 30 girls we would often only have half a dozen doing sports because the rest were having period pains. Eventually our PE teacher made a new rule that having your period was not an adequate excuse for getting out of PE - unless you could get a doctor's cert to state genuine problems. There was outright war over it, even parents coming in to complain, threatening legal action!

She even said herself, and am inclined to agree, that she was a woman, that she knows what periods are like, but how can you demand sexual equality as a woman when you're happy to demand special treatment over something like period pains. I'm not denying they hurt, they do, but if they are really impacting on your health/wellbeing it's up to you to do something to change that. And likewise, if it's negatively affecting your moods, make the effort to control yourself, don't drag your feet over it. I hate when I hear my friends talk about what bitches they are during their time of the month, as if it's a genuine medical excuse.

Sorry rant over, I'll get back on topic. OP fair play to you for being so patient. My best advice apart from distraction is hot bath and evening primrose oil.

I think this is a bit harsh, certain female medical conditions make periods unberable and while science is amazing they have yet been able to do much to help these conditions!!! I suffer from endometriosis and have been put on the pill and given pain killers and told have a baby or deal with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dealing with it means 3 days a month I am shattered, grumpy and in pain (varying degrees)!!! I have been to a few different doctors, I take the meds I can (but don't want to take them all the time as I will just get immune / addicted), I eat well, and I exercise before, during and after my period but there are some times that I need to be excused from college to curl up at home with a hot water bottle and be left alone cos I feel so crappy... My two sisters on the other hand barely notice they have a period!!!

munstergirl wrote: »

Surprised no one has suggested SEX yet, absolutly takes mind away period pain.

Intercourse is meant to be good but it would be too icky for me!!!!