21 stone and worried about myself

showmetheway

I just thought I would reg and post here because I have read a few posts and alot of people seem very helpful

I am in my early thirtys 21 stone and I am very depressed about my weight,I wish it were as simple as eat less and eat healthy and exercise more but I just have this mental barrier thats preventing me from doing it

I have some very bad habbits in my life at present such as drinking way too much and eating crap, so much so they may be addictions.

I have a fair idea how to exercise and eat healthy but if I go on a plan and have a lapse like eat something I shouldnt or miss a workout I have such a self defeating attitude that the whole thing is ruined now and I must start over.

My life is **** at present because of my weight as I dont feel comfortable in my own skin in social environments, I go out of the house to work is all.

Another thing that gets me down is that I have so far to go, I mean if I stuck to an exercise routine and healthy diet for 3 months and lost 25lbs of fat I would still be fat, not as fat but still fat.

I am wondering if there is anyone here that has been as heavy as me and lost alot of weight, maybe your success would provide me with extra motivation to succeed

Rackstar

One of my best friends was in a similar situation to yourself. At his heaviest he was 19st7 and that was November last year.

Like you he believed he could never lose the weight. But he was sick of being over weight and wanted to do something about it. He joined weight watchers and the gym. He got a cardio program done up for him at the gym and went and did the program 3/4 times a week and ate what he was allowed on the weight watchers. What kept him going was the difference he found in his clothes, on the scales, and also by the complements he was getting. He lost over 5 stone, Last week he was down to 14st0 which was his weight watchers goal and is delighted.

I think once you get started and notice the weight coming off yourself, on the scales and get the complements you won't have much trouble keeping it going!

Best of luck with it.

Danger781

First of all I'd like to say welcome and you've certainly come to the right place. I'm relatively new here as well so maybe we can help each other out!

Secondly, I won't lie. It will be a difficult journey! Changing bad habits is hard, BUT with enough willpower and some motivation from boards.ie I'm sure you'll succeed You are definitely going to need a huge change in attitude though! Feeling self-pity and saying "I can't" are not going to work! YOU CAN, AND WILL SUCCEED Changing your attitude will be the first big step to get you on your way!

Give us an idea of what you would generally eat in one day, starting with breakfast.

rubensni

showmetheway wrote: »

Another thing that gets me down is that I have so far to go, I mean if I stuck to an exercise routine and healthy diet for 3 months and lost 25lbs of fat I would still be fat, not as fat but still fat.

Pish posh You're doing this for yourself, and you should be comfortable with the fact that you're heading in the right direction. Pick a target weight, aim for that. That's all.

branners69

showmetheway wrote: »

I have some very bad habbits in my life at present such as drinking way too much and eating crap, so much so they may be addictions.

As above what do you eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner + the drink and crap you eat?

I was at my most just under 19st, I went down to 14st and am now at 16st. The best thing I did was buy a bike, unlike jogging and walking I didnt feel paranoid! I went from cycling for 10 - 15 minutes to cycling for over an hour and really enjoying it!

Just remember nothing is a lost cause, you can achieve what you want!!!

showmetheway

my diet looks like this

9.30 2 bowls of fruit in fibre with skim milk
1 raisin scoan with butter

12.30 what ever is on the menu in work for lunch
sometime
spag bol
cabbage and bacon
fish and chips
stew etc


when I get home at around 6 from work sometimes ill have a steak or salmon with some veg and baked potato but alot of time I get a take away and a few beers

showmetheway

Of course I have gone weeks were I have been very healthy

ate smaller meals more often 5-6
ate lean proteins such as chicken fish lean beef
veg in as many meals as I could
ate only good carbs like brown rice, porrige etc

I lost half a stone in 1 week on such a diet because I was drinking lots of water and going to the gym and I felt great actually but the weekend came and I literally binged on beer and takeaways

branners69

What do you drink?

What take-aways do you eat?

Do you do any exercise at all?

showmetheway

i do the absolute dog on beer and sometimes wine at the weekends and on occasion the week nights

i usually get a large dominoes pizza or indian once or twice a week

i lifts weights but only use dumbells , never deadlifted as im worried id hurt myself by doing it wrong

im also very inconsistent in the gym good for a week or 2 bad for a week or 2

Danger781

So the weekend seems to be where you're failing then. I'm not going to tell you to cut out the alcohol, I know i'm not going to But you need to cut down on the amount you drink. Consider switching to a lighter beer too such as bud light.

The most important part is avoid take-aways like the plague! They're FULL of calories! You could eat half your GDA of calories in one sitting! A McDonalds big mac meal has a whopping 1100 calories! :eek:

You'll feel well proud of yourself if you manage to resist the fast food. How about going home and scoffing down a fruit salad instead

opinion guy

showmetheway wrote: »

Of course I have gone weeks were I have been very healthy

ate smaller meals more often 5-6
ate lean proteins such as chicken fish lean beef
veg in as many meals as I could
ate only good carbs like brown rice, porrige etc

I lost half a stone in 1 week on such a diet because I was drinking lots of water and going to the gym and I felt great actually but the weekend came and I literally binged on beer and takeaways

See the bit I highlighted, this is what you use to motivate yourself. Remember that you are doing it to FEEL better. PErsonally I find this a far greater motivator than worrying about numbers on a scale, or worrying about how I look to others. If I can change my habits by doing a little exercise and eating a bit healthier I am much more succsesful by focussing on how much better it makes me feel.

At the same time, using the realisation that eating bad food, drinking too much and not exercising will make me feel worse is how I stop myself from doing these things.

Anyhow - thats just my little tip. I hope it helps. Good luck with it

branners69

showmetheway wrote: »

i do the absolute dog on beer and sometimes wine at the weekends and on occasion the week nights

i usually get a large dominoes pizza or indian once or twice a week

i lifts weights but only use dumbells , never deadlifted as im worried id hurt myself by doing it wrong

im also very inconsistent in the gym good for a week or 2 bad for a week or 2

I reckon you know yourself what you need to change! As hard as it may seem! There are no over night solutions unfortunately!

My recommendations would be keep the drink to a minimum, if you can, swop to spirits and slim-line tonic. Bin the Indian + Chinese take-aways, if you are craving one go a pizza or a Thai!

Can you increase your exercise, can you walk to work?

Weights at your weight is a waste of time, you need to walk/cycle. You need your cardio vascular exercisre to dramatically increase if you can!

Alkers

Can you get anyone to do some of your workouts with you? Having a friend waiting for you to go for a run or walk or whatever makes it a lot harder for you to skip doing it. Also, if you can get someone to make dinner with you it's a lot better than cooking for one!

Danger781

Simona1986 wrote: »

Can you get anyone to do some of your workouts with you? Having a friend waiting for you to go for a run or walk or whatever makes it a lot harder for you to skip doing it. Also, if you can get someone to make dinner with you it's a lot better than cooking for one!

Agreed I'm going to go jogging with a friend of mine and hopefully that will manage to keep me motivated. I'm also considering joining a gym with another friend.

Cooking with someone else can make dinner time much more fun! Just try to make sure it's someone who watches their diet and knows what's good and what's bad etc.. That would really help in the diet section!

WalterMitty

the large amount of drink and lack of regular exercise could be making you feel low in mood. IS there any team sports you like and could join? Join a hillwalking club and go walking every weekend. You seem to use food and drink to make you feel better or less down. Maybe consider getting a cognitive behavioural therapy book to help you address the thinking errors you are having and the low self esteem you seem to have.

DamienH

showmetheway wrote: »

I mean if I stuck to an exercise routine and healthy diet for 3 months and lost 25lbs of fat I would still be fat, not as fat but still fat.

That's completely the wrong attitude to have in life. No matter what your goal is you have to start somewhere. If I want to get stronger I might add 2.5kg to a best in 3 months, but I'm still getting stronger. You can't lift 100kg without lifting 60 first. Don't beat yourself up.

When I started exercising (three years ago) I was about 140kg (22-23 stone) of pure and utter ****. I can remember not being able to bench press 50kg , 30% of my bodyweight. Today I just weighed in at 114.8kg, but I look like a completely different person. I'm far, far stronger than I was when I started. I can put a 50kg dumbell above my head now with one hand from standing, something I would of thought impossible 3 years ago. I look like a completely different person from photos I have when I was younger. Being complemented on losing weight is also really nice, something I never experienced until I was 19 years old.

Believe me it just doesn't happen over night. If takes discipline and dedication, which are also valuable traits to have in your life. Getting stronger/losing weight has thought me to be grateful for the little steps you take in life because they are what really make the difference. Anyone that tries to take big jumps, be it losing weight too fast or lifting more weight with bad form, will end up either sick or injured. I know it's cliché but it really is "slow and steady wins the race."

My advice is to clean your diet up. People are blue in the face from telling people to have a look at the stickies in this forum, they're all you need for a healthy lifestyle. A bit of common sense will go a long way. If you look at the ingredients of what you're eating and they're unrecognisable don't eat it. You don't need to worry about calorie contents at the start because just eating clean will make you feel like a different person. Energy levels will be through the roof, and you'll realise that you feel much better in your day to day life.

Along with the diet you'll need to exercise, good efficient exercise. This means weights, barbells and dumbells. If you're worried about hurting yourself get a GOOD personal trainer (there's some good ones hanging around here) and they will show you how to lift correctly. Everybody should deadlift, squat and press. If you're going into the gym lifting light weights and generally faffing around you'll get nowhere. With a little bit of time and research you can learn these things yourself. Getting your heart rate up is also important, it'll improve cardiovascular fitness i.e. You won't be out of breath climbing stairs.

I didn't set out to write such a long post but I get annoyed with people who say things like I have quoted above. Don't pity yourself because it's the worst thing you can do. Get into a gym or just get moving and eat clean. In 6 months you WILL feel 10 times better and confidence will be through the roof. If you're self conscious about going to a gym don't be. If I see someone overweight I don't think "Jesus look at him/her," I think "Fair play, you're in the right place." Anyone that thinks anything else is an idiot.

It's going to be tough, it's going to be hard. Your lungs will burn and your body will ache. You'll have your **** days, you'll have some amazing days. But at the end of the day it's all worth it.

ragg

Here is some inspiration for you!!

http://neilmct.com/neilmct-personal-trainer-blog.php

Look at the second entry on this blog. Ollie lost 50 odd kilos in 30 weeks!!!
he has since lost a **** load more weight.

hard work, dedication and the right attitude is all you need.

G86

DamienH wrote: »

That's completely the wrong attitude to have in life. No matter what your goal is you have to start somewhere. If I want to get stronger I might add 2.5kg to a best in 3 months, but I'm still getting stronger. You can't lift 100kg without lifting 60 first. Don't beat yourself up.

When I started exercising (three years ago) I was about 140kg (22-23 stone) of pure and utter ****. I can remember not being able to bench press 50kg , 30% of my bodyweight. Today I just weighed in at 114.8kg, but I look like a completely different person. I'm far, far stronger than I was when I started. I can put a 50kg dumbell above my head now with one hand from standing, something I would of thought impossible 3 years ago. I look like a completely different person from photos I have when I was younger. Being complemented on loosing weight is also really nice, something I never experienced until I was 19 years old.

Believe me it just doesn't happen over night. If takes discipline and dedication, which are also valuable traits to have in your life. Getting stronger/losing weight has thought me to be grateful for the little steps you take in life because they are what really make the difference. Anyone that tries to take big jumps, be it loosing weight too fast or lifting more weight with bad form, will end up either sick or injured. I know it's cliché but it really is "slow and steady wins the race."

My advice is to clean your diet up. People are blue in the face from telling people to have a look at the stickies in this forum, they're all you need for a healthy lifestyle. A bit of common sense will go a long way. If you look at the ingredients of what you're eating and they're unrecognisable don't eat it. You don't need to worry about calorie contents at the start because just eating clean will make you feel like a different person. Energy levels will be through the roof, and you'll realise that you feel much better in your day to day life.

Along with the diet you'll need to exercise, good efficient exercise. This means weights, barbells and dumbells. If you're worried about hurting yourself get a GOOD personal trainer (there's some good ones hanging around here) and they will show you how to lift correctly. Everybody should deadlift, squat and press. If you're going into the gym lifting light weights and generally faffing around you'll get nowhere. With a little bit of time and research you can learn these things yourself. Getting your heart rate up is also important, it'll improve cardiovascular fitness i.e. You won't be out of breath climbing stairs.

I didn't set out to write such a long post but I get annoyed with people who say things like I have quoted above. Don't pity yourself because it's the worst thing you can do. Get into a gym or just get moving and eat clean. In 6 months you WILL feel 10 times better and confidence will be through the roof. If you're self conscious about going to a gym don't be. If I see someone overweight I don't think "Jesus look at him/her," I think "Fair play, you're in the right place." Anyone that thinks anything else is an idiot.

It's going to be tough, it's going to be hard. Your lungs will burn and your body will ache. You'll have your **** days, you'll have some amazing days. But at the end of the day it's all worth it.

OP, listen to this guy. Brilliant post.

Killme00

DamienH wrote: »

That's completely the wrong attitude to have in life. No matter what your goal is you have to start somewhere. If I want to get stronger I might add 2.5kg to a best in 3 months, but I'm still getting stronger. You can't lift 100kg without lifting 60 first. Don't beat yourself up.

When I started exercising (three years ago) I was about 140kg (22-23 stone) of pure and utter ****. I can remember not being able to bench press 50kg , 30% of my bodyweight. Today I just weighed in at 114.8kg, but I look like a completely different person. I'm far, far stronger than I was when I started. I can put a 50kg dumbell above my head now with one hand from standing, something I would of thought impossible 3 years ago. I look like a completely different person from photos I have when I was younger. Being complemented on loosing weight is also really nice, something I never experienced until I was 19 years old.

Believe me it just doesn't happen over night. If takes discipline and dedication, which are also valuable traits to have in your life. Getting stronger/losing weight has thought me to be grateful for the little steps you take in life because they are what really make the difference. Anyone that tries to take big jumps, be it loosing weight too fast or lifting more weight with bad form, will end up either sick or injured. I know it's cliché but it really is "slow and steady wins the race."

My advice is to clean your diet up. People are blue in the face from telling people to have a look at the stickies in this forum, they're all you need for a healthy lifestyle. A bit of common sense will go a long way. If you look at the ingredients of what you're eating and they're unrecognisable don't eat it. You don't need to worry about calorie contents at the start because just eating clean will make you feel like a different person. Energy levels will be through the roof, and you'll realise that you feel much better in your day to day life.

Along with the diet you'll need to exercise, good efficient exercise. This means weights, barbells and dumbells. If you're worried about hurting yourself get a GOOD personal trainer (there's some good ones hanging around here) and they will show you how to lift correctly. Everybody should deadlift, squat and press. If you're going into the gym lifting light weights and generally faffing around you'll get nowhere. With a little bit of time and research you can learn these things yourself. Getting your heart rate up is also important, it'll improve cardiovascular fitness i.e. You won't be out of breath climbing stairs.

I didn't set out to write such a long post but I get annoyed with people who say things like I have quoted above. Don't pity yourself because it's the worst thing you can do. Get into a gym or just get moving and eat clean. In 6 months you WILL feel 10 times better and confidence will be through the roof. If you're self conscious about going to a gym don't be. If I see someone overweight I don't think "Jesus look at him/her," I think "Fair play, you're in the right place." Anyone that thinks anything else is an idiot.

It's going to be tough, it's going to be hard. Your lungs will burn and your body will ache. You'll have your **** days, you'll have some amazing days. But at the end of the day it's all worth it.

Great post.


My little piece of advice would be not to excercise to lose weight. Find something you like doing and make it part of your normal routine. You'll eventually get to the point where you'll be training outside of training to improve one or two things ie. Strength/conditioning/drilling/flexibility etc
For some people that will be cycling, for others it will be GAA or Judo, the key is to enjoy yourself. Enjoying it means you'll do it more whereas the hard slog of going to the gym with losing weight in mind could be demoralising for some.

You also really need to sort out your diet. Its too much to ask anyone to change everything all at one so just make small changes. How about for the next week you make your lunch the largest meal and your dinner the smallest? How about no fried food for the next week? How about limiting yourself to a couple of glasses of wine for the week? Its only a week after all

Next week is something else

mrpink6789

I was exactly your weight back in August (21 stone 3lbs) and like you I was miserable about my weight and had loads of bad habits. You are not going to lose weight until you WANT to lose weight, its tough to change your mind set but its achievable after only a couple of weeks of trying. I joined weight watchers online because I was embarassed about going to meetings. I found it great, I was able to track what I ate and still go out at the weekend for the few pints (dont think I'll ever give up the pints :P). I started off small regarding exercise, walked around my area every night (2 miles in about 30 minutes). It made the difference and soon enough I was starting to lose quite a lot of weight. My motivation to keep on going were comments from friends about my weightloss, also clothes fitting better and some being too big. In jan I joined the gym as I was down to about 18.5 stone and felt more confident.
Greatest invention in the gym at the time for me was the cross trainer. Still use it regularly to this day. Did the weight machines initially as well but quickly moved on to free weights due to advice by boardsies. I've never felt better now and I'm just at the 16 stone mark, which is still heavy but I look much better and feel stronger. I want to lose about another 2 stone and when I tell people this they think it's too much as I'm fairly tall.
You aren't going to succeed if you think 25lbs ahead - one week at a time and try to lose 2lbs a week for the first few months, because of your size you will most likely lose a lot int he first few weeks. You'll be amazed after the first month how much you have lost and how you can use this as the motivation to keep on going.
Hope it works out for you

xgtdec

only thing i can add is that patience is the key, ive smashed scales against walls cause they didnt go down when i thought they should have, blood boiling when i didnt see any improvements, let it go and be patient, your human body is the same as all of our human bodies..it will happen if you want it to, just not overnight. i would wish you the best of luck but this is one of those things that luck aint nothing to do with, hard work on diet and exercise will pay off!!!!

cmyk

PM sent showmetheway

Some great posts and advice here...I'd echo some of that too, just make small incremental changes daily/weekly/monthly and you'll see results.

tinner777

Same size, same issues, went crazy on fad diets, there all bull****, so read up here and there and made small changes. First dumped chocolate and biscuits and i love the stuff, really love it, but couldn't have one biscuit had to be five, or six , so stopped. Next up salt, no more. Started walking a bit. Now i've dropped a stone, i'm still fat, make no big bones about it, but i'm feeling smashing. I've just cut down on stuff, used to be 3 sandwiches at lunch now 2, cereal and toast for breakfast, dropped the toast. Be sensible about the booze, used to drink at least three times a week, now once and i now enjoy my pint more.
Now i'm not going to be writing any books soon about my diet but at least i know that in reality i'm not dieting just sorting myself out a bit, and plus that stone i've lost will not be plus two stone on giving up said diet.
good luck

Sangre

tinner777 wrote: »

Same size, same issues, went crazy on fad diets, there all bull****, so read up here and there and made small changes. First dumped chocolate and biscuits and i love the stuff, really love it, but couldn't have one biscuit had to be five, or six , so stopped. Next up salt, no more. Started walking a bit. Now i've dropped a stone, i'm still fat, make no big bones about it, but i'm feeling smashing. I've just cut down on stuff, used to be 3 sandwiches at lunch now 2, cereal and toast for breakfast, dropped the toast. Be sensible about the booze, used to drink at least three times a week, now once and i now enjoy my pint more.
Now i'm not going to be writing any books soon about my diet but at least i know that in reality i'm not dieting just sorting myself out a bit, and plus that stone i've lost will not be plus two stone on giving up said diet.
good luck

Exactly the way to go about with it. Gradual lifestyle changes that will always be with you. As you improve your diet and exercise you really should see the weight start to fall away.