confession: i may be a bit homophobic!

flanum

(as thread title says) im not sure but i think i may be.. im certainly uncomfortable around blatantly camp gay men, yet im fairly comfortable around gay women (im a straight male by the way). Now in my experiences, ive had a one night stand with 2 lesbian women (actually one of them was bi cos she said i was allowed to "participate" with her but not the other lassie)!
i dont feel like i have any anti- gay feelings etc,, its just that overtly camp men kind of annoy the **** out of me... i dunno.. maybe somebody qualified or something can come up with some freudian explanation about this... but anyhows.... without trying to troll or anything... i just find myself uncomfortable around camp gay men..

also.. do straight women feel comfortable around feminine gay women??

this is my crappy response to all the other threads about transsexual adoptions etc.. im givin a voice to maybe some of us that are still not that fully up on the whole shebang of it!?!

bad2dabone

I'm friends with a gay couple who've been living together for years, great blokes, love them. But super campness, or someone who is super-gay, would also annoy me. I don't think this makes me homophobic, I just don't like super campness, or as Arnie would say "Girlie men!"

AskMyChocolate

A lesbian snogged me once too.

Nulty

I'm homophobic and yet I'm bisexual.

Its more compliacted than even you know!

Wait....that sounds ridiculous!

KingLoser

GOD HATES FAGS.

I mean, you can not like certain types of people without being a bigot. It's the same as not liking really noisy obnoxious women. You just don't like really obnoxious gay men.

You bigot.

flanum

KingLoser wrote: »

GOD HATES FAGS.

that helps the discussion no end!!:rolleyes:

m@cc@

flanum wrote: »

also.. do straight women feel comfortable around feminine gay women??

I'd say a better question would be "do straight women feel comfortable around masculine gay women?"

I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it. You don't dislike camp gay men for being gay, you dislike them for being overtly camp.

flanum wrote: »

ive had a one night stand with 2 lesbian women

Well as long as they were women...

KingLoser

flanum wrote: »

that helps the discussion no end!!:rolleyes:

Yeah, I lost the go of meself. Damn enablers get me fired up. :pac:

flanum

KingLoser wrote: »

GOD HATES FAGS.

You bigot.

read the heading.. thats what im on about.. confessional.. does it make me a bigot or not?

Killer Pigeon

flanum wrote: »

Now in my experiences, ive had a one night stand with 2 lesbian women

You bastard!

... I just said that to show what a straight man I am!

Nulty

flanum wrote: »

read the heading.. thats what im on about.. confessional.. does it make me a bigot or not?

no, it doesn't make you an automatic bigot. Think of it like Chris Rock....he likes black people but hates ******s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui6-Wc0PDc4&has_verified=1

m@cc@

Nulty wrote: »

Think of it like Chris Rock....he likes black people but hates ******s

He's annoyed by naggers?

Killer Pigeon

flanum wrote: »

also.. do straight women feel comfortable around feminine gay women??

Maybe you mean do straight women feel comfortable around the masculine gay women, like the ones who shave their heads and go around like G.I. Jane.

keepkeyyellow

flanum wrote: »

(as thread title says) im not sure but i think i may be.. im certainly uncomfortable around blatantly camp gay men, yet im fairly comfortable around gay women (im a straight male by the way). Now in my experiences, ive had a one night stand with 2 lesbian women (actually one of them was bi cos she said i was allowed to "participate" with her but not the other lassie)!
i dont feel like i have any anti- gay feelings etc,, its just that overtly camp men kind of annoy the **** out of me... i dunno.. maybe somebody qualified or something can come up with some freudian explanation about this... but anyhows.... without trying to troll or anything... i just find myself uncomfortable around camp gay men..

also.. do straight women feel comfortable around feminine gay women??

this is my crappy response to all the other threads about transsexual adoptions etc.. im givin a voice to maybe some of us that are still not that fully up on the whole shebang of it!?!

As a gay man, rly camp men annoy the hell out of me too because they're loud and annoying....but then again I also hate loud and annoying women......maybe you're just singling out loud and annoying gays cause well they're the most noticeable ? and we've plenty of other normal people in our little club too like David Norris or the current bad guy in Desperate Housewives, I think you meant to say that you hate loud and annoying people.

galwayrush

I know a gay (male) couple, and they get annoyed at the 'put on attention seeking' campness.

brummytom

Why is it that we're not allowed, on here and in society, we're not allowed to voice our true opinions, for fear of being labelled a 'homophobe' or 'racist/bigot'?


I've made it no secret on here in the past, my opinions towards certain groups - but as long as I'm not getting in their way, why should my views have to lead me to be ridiculed?


Does anyone actually know what I'm on about? I'm sure I did when I started writing, now I'm lost

IvyTheTerrible

This thread is just a thinly veiled attempt for the OP to boast he had a threesome!

galwayrush

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

This thread is just an thinly veiled attempt for the OP to boast he had a threesome!

Fixed that for ya.:D

Karl Hungus

brummytom wrote: »

why should my views have to lead me to be ridiculed?

Because there are certain views and opinions that people pay a price for airing. If someone says they firmly believe Josef Fritzl is a role model for how the head of the family should act, they pay a price for that view in the reactions of others. As much as it upsets me, I too pay a price in terms of credibility and intelligence in the eyes of others every time I insist that the world is not round, but rather, it is a mobius strip. Such is the nature of my radical theories, too great to fathom for regular joes.

So honestly, as a firm believer in free speech, you've got a right to air your views, but everyone else as a right to mock your views if they think you're nuts or a bigot or poorly informed.

The world IS a mobius strip, damn you!

stovelid

It should obviously be noted that a lot of gay men aren't camp, including some that I know, and as such: annoying (not to me, just making the point) camp should really come under the category of everyday, annoying social behaviour and not something you base your view of gays on.

I mean, you don't automatically find yourself opposed to heterosexual relationships because your straight mate is an annoying drunk or self-centered, do you?

Nulty

I think the OP is suggesting that when the campest of camp go around being camp as loud as they can - the are flamers. All you can think of is "GAY!" Its in your face, thats either a problem or it isn't - and for the OP its a problem

stovelid wrote: »

It should obviously be noted that a lot of gay men aren't camp, including some that I know, and as such: annoying (not to me, just making the point) camp should really come under the category of everyday, annoying social behaviour and not something you base your view of gays on.

I mean, you don't automatically find yourself opposed to heterosexual relationships because your straight mate is an annoying drunk or self-centered, do you?

He doesn't have a problem with heterosexuals - thats why hes asking if he's bigotted. Its the fact he's reminded of gay that is the problem apparantly

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

I know a few people who are so camp it would be a good thing to have facekicker with ya.
If you're gay, you're gay. No problems what so ever. It's the camp tosspots who prance around, being loud and disturbingly annoying that pisses me off. Straight or gay, that display of behaviour deserves a good thump.

We get it, we know you're gay, now fcuk off and deal with those deep rooted issues you have. The attention seeking, "look at me everybody" i'm gay...

WindSock

There is nothing wrong with disliking certain traits in people that you find annoying. It doesn't mean you get to treat them like they are your inferior though. Once you don't treat them that way then you are not a phobe/acist and anyone who calls you that gets to be treated inferiorly

Abrasax

Statisitcs show that the vast majority of homophobic men are in fact latent homosexuals.
Stop denying your sexuality, OP, or you'll end up like that old army guy in American Beauty.

Kasabian

Ryker Early Student wrote: »

I know a few people who are so camp it would be a good thing to have facekicker with ya.
If you're gay, you're gay. No problems what so ever. It's the camp tosspots who prance around, being loud and disturbingly annoying that pisses me off. Straight or gay, that display of behaviour deserves a good thump.

We get it, we know you're gay, now fcuk off and deal with those deep rooted issues you have. The attention seeking, "look at me everybody" i'm gay...

Agree with everything but the good thump , a girly smack might be more appropriate.:pac:
Campness really annoys me too , what the fcuk is it all about , I couldn't care less if you are gay but why do you have to prance around squealing like a little girl , your not a little girl your gay.

I am hetrosexual I don't need to invent a persona to highlight it.

Galwaymother

Hi!
Well I have gay male friends of all types (they do like to live in Paris...), and the one who is most fun to be with, either for me, my husband or kids, or the rest of the circle, is the most outrageous camp but secure one. He is a mature man who has had a lot of experience, was married etc, and is so inclusive and open-minded. He has the best sense of humor, knows how to give back witty repartee to homophobic people in the street, and generally is a great influence on my kids who see the free and alternative side of life!
The only unpleasant gay males I met were in NUI here a long time ago. They were very intolerant of straight people, mocked females and were somewhat desperate, perhaps due to their lack of confidence. I think they felt they had to affirm themselves against the rest, since Irish society was not very welcoming at the time. I hope it has changed since!

WindSock

I don't think all campness is put on though. I have heard from male friends who went to male schools that there were guys in there school who acted fairly camp. Surely you wouldn't be putting it on in school to make yourself more of a target?

liah

Camp doesn't necessarily mean gay.

Nulty

Maybe the same could be said of straight women who act a bit masculine because they feel they don't get enough respect as a woman? It happens. I cant stand manly girls. Puts me right off my tea!

Bazzy

flanum wrote: »

, ive had a one night stand with 2 lesbian women

Pics or GTFO

sbsquarepants

I think this stuff gets blown out of all proportion.
Simple fact is you can't like EVERYBODY. We're all free to pick our friends, lovers or whatever, and that's how it should be. What's wrong is when people think they can disriminate against certain groups just because they don't like them.
But once everybody is treated the same - fairly and with respect, there is no obligation to like anybody!

Gary4279

Galwaymother wrote: »

Hi!
Well I have gay male friends of all types (they do like to live in Paris...), and the one who is most fun to be with, for my husband,

hmmmm.....:p

sponsoredwalk

flanum wrote: »

i dunno.. maybe somebody qualified or something can come up with some freudian explanation about this...

There's your problem right there...

Just try to accept people for who they are without analyzing trying to find some ulterior motive, fostering the hate gets nobody nowhere...

orourkeda

flanum wrote: »

(as thread title says) im not sure but i think i may be.. im certainly uncomfortable around blatantly camp gay men, yet im fairly comfortable around gay women (im a straight male by the way). Now in my experiences, ive had a one night stand with 2 lesbian women (actually one of them was bi cos she said i was allowed to "participate" with her but not the other lassie)!
i dont feel like i have any anti- gay feelings etc,, its just that overtly camp men kind of annoy the **** out of me... i dunno.. maybe somebody qualified or something can come up with some freudian explanation about this... but anyhows.... without trying to troll or anything... i just find myself uncomfortable around camp gay men..

also.. do straight women feel comfortable around feminine gay women??

this is my crappy response to all the other threads about transsexual adoptions etc.. im givin a voice to maybe some of us that are still not that fully up on the whole shebang of it!?!

Niiiiiccccce

doncarlos

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

A lesbian snogged me once too.

Before she became a lesbian?? That's not something you should boast about :P

sbsquarepants

doncarlos wrote: »

Before she became a lesbian?? That's not something you should boast about :P

I think i've turned a girl or two myself! I wonder if i can claim commission from somewhere?

ibarelycare

I have 2 male gay friends and both of them hate the camp stereotype (well one of them is slightly camp, but he denies it!). Personally, I don't mind a bit of campness, as long as it's not TOO in your face...but then I hate in-your-face people in general.

I wouldn't feel uncomfortable around lesbians either, be they feminine or masculine (butch I guess? I hate that word!)

I hate the attitude that some (a lot!) of straight Irish men have around gay men, when they think that JUST because the guy is gay he's going to hit on him! Get over yourself!

Kasabian

liah wrote: »

Camp doesn't necessarily mean gay.

Yes you are correct , but in tends to . What with the generalisation on AH , camp = gay.

Banned Account

flanum wrote: »

(as thread title says) im not sure but i think i may be.. im certainly uncomfortable around blatantly camp gay men, yet im fairly comfortable around gay women (im a straight male by the way). Now in my experiences dreams, ive had a one night stand with 2 lesbian women (actually one of them was bi cos she said i was allowed to "participate" with her but not the other lassie)!
i dont feel like i have any anti- gay feelings etc,, its just that overtly camp men kind of annoy the **** out of me... i dunno.. maybe somebody qualified or something can come up with some freudian explanation about this... but anyhows.... without trying to troll or anything... i just find myself uncomfortable around camp gay men..

also.. do straight women feel comfortable around feminine gay women??

this is my crappy response to all the other threads about transsexual adoptions etc.. im givin a voice to maybe some of us that are still not that fully up on the whole shebang of it!?!

Fixed;)

Dravokivich

ibarelycare wrote: »

I hate the attitude that some (a lot!) of straight Irish men have around gay men, when they think that JUST because the guy is gay he's going to hit on him! Get over yourself!

I've got a brother to stear'em towards so I've nothing to worry about...

fryup

Whats get me is this recent phenomenon (in this country) of the "gay friend"..people who previously wouldn't be seen dead with a gay person now have a gay friend so as to look trendy/hip.

None more so than in my workplace where there is this gay guy who alot people lick up to...they think he's such great fun to be with, well he's not he's a nasty peice of work that spreads viscous rumours about other work collegues but if you complain you're accused of being homophobic OR not getting his gay ways. eerrrrr!!!!!

Mr. Presentable

OP, don't blame yourself. Gay is spooky - to quote Homer "If there was a law it'd be against it"

To quote F Boyle
Dear Points of View, watching Queer Eye For The Straight Guy made me think that if I had gay friends, they'd give me fashion tips. Actually, they f*cked me

:pac:

Mr. Presentable

fryup wrote: »

Whats get me is this recent phenomenon (in this country) of the "gay friend"..people who previously wouldn't be seen dead with a gay person now have a gay friend so as to look trendy/hip.

None more so than in my workplace where there is this gay guy who alot people lick up to...they think he's such great fun to be with, well he's not he's a nasty peice of work that spreads viscous rumours about other work collegues but if you complain you're accused of being homophobic OR not getting his gay ways. eerrrrr!!!!!

Ah, the gay as fashion accessory.

Viscous rumours are without question the most difficult to spread........

Foxhound38

It depends. It annoys me when the campness is so OTT that it's blatently put on - they tend to be the loud and abnoxious ones. With that said I have known lads (in the closet, out of the closet and straight) that have been fairly campish all their lives and I'm totally fine with it, because when it's genuine it tends to be at a lower level and just seems less forced. I tend to get annoyed at people that have make their every action about their sexuality, as if who they choose to sleep with is the only defining aspect of their lives - I dislike the OTT camp gay lads in the same way as I dislike the OTT macho straight lads that need to spend every waking moment proving how straight they are. Sometimes you feel like saying to the extremely camp ones: "Lad, you're gay, we get it. Chill out ffs..."

That said I'm a big fan of Sen. David Norris!

reallyrose

Karl Hungus wrote: »

The world IS a mobius strip, damn you!

It would be so awesome if that were true. Imagine the pain in your face looking at an atlas?

I have to say that the super-camp gay guys annoy me as well. Yer man off Pineapple Dance Studio? Argh!
But I am not annoyed by them because they are gay exactly. I just think that they are doing LGBT folk no favors. Same as the people who behave like any stereotype. I'm not gay though, so maybe I am being over-PC about the issue, or something.

Also, any really loud person is annoying.

My clarity of thought sucks.

/me waits for the LGBT army to show up with lynching ropes.

philstar

Foxhound38 wrote: »

That said I'm a big fan of Sen. David Norris!

he wrecks my head:( can't stand him

much prefer discreet gays like Louis Walsh

Foxhound38

philstar wrote: »

he wrecks my head:( can't stand him

much prefer discreet gays like Louis Walsh

Ah but you gotta admit, at least the man has a sense of humour! :pac:

pickarooney

I'm a bit confused. There was a gay bad guy in Desperate Housewives?

bonerm

philstar wrote: »

much prefer discreet gays like Louis Walsh

He does do a good job of downplaying it. Tom Cruise too.

Noreen1

I don't have a problem with someone being camp - but I find "exaggerated" camp really irritating. Having said that - I also find either "exaggerated" masculinity or femininity thoroughly annoying. So, I suppose I just dislike exaggerated or "loud" behaviour, generally.

I don't really have a problem with "masculine" lesbians either, unless they refuse to accept that the object of their affections is heterosexual - in that case, it becomes a problem!

Noreen

RMD

Any form of exaggerated attitude is headwrecking. Guys who act macho hardman, girls who scream "OMG" and sound like a gaggle of geese, gay lads who act more like girls, extreme feminist butch lesbians.

If you're gay that's fine, if you're naturally camp that's fine, if you put on some whiny high pitched voice and deliberately act camp to show you're different, you're an attention seeking whore. Same goes for the other examples I mentioned.