Blobian Banana

PurpleBee

There was an island. It was named Blob-just-south-of-madagascar-shaped-like-a-squashed-pea. It was commonly agreed amongst the 76 inhabitants that this name did little for their tourist or pea exporting industry. Madagascans obviously abbreviated this name to Blob, and called its people blobbers, which much upset the 76 unfortunate souls that were labelled thus.

The Blobbers renamed Madagascar Stinkpot in retaliation but it didn't really catch on. Mainly because the entire Island smelt of lavender. In frustration, the Blobbers declared war and rowed to the capital, Antananarivo, in a boat made of blackened banana skins. "Let us in!" they boomed, "we're very angry." Of course that gave the game away and the Madagascans fled inside their city walls for they loved a touch of drama.

The Blobbers landed on the beach, it was a nice day indeed, but no day for lounging, as landing had involved them in a siege of Trojan proportions. Night fell and the Madagascans were really quite amused by this whole siege business. They had no idea how to conduct themselves in a siege, so made up their own rules by lobbing loaves of freshly baked bread, smothered in gooseberry jam, over their very ramparts.

One Blobber stood up and called the rest about him. "I have a plan said he. A very cunning plan!" If you remember the Trojan Horse you will immediately recognise the unoriginality of this plan. Nonetheless, the blackened banana boat was brought up to the gates, upturned and everyone climbed underneath.

In the morning the Madagascan King was apprehended by three flustered courtiers, who knew that, at sunrise, the king was to be found with his face in a lavender bush. "Your Highness, your Highness! The siege is over! All that is left is a Blobian Beetle. How wonderful we are." Once inside the walls, the Blobbers jumped out and gave the Madagascans the most awful fright! Such are the horrors of war and the consolations of a stupid plan working on stupid people.