Help! I'm at the end of my tether!

sassychick

Please can somebody advise me on what to do....i moved into my house a year ago all was well settled in grand keep myself to myself,my problem is my neighbour:eek:.She is a single mum with 3 kids.Without fail every morning 5.30 her kids are running amok in the house and i can hear everything !!!!!!I cant deal with it anymore dey are so loud ive been banging on the wall.,but doesnt take any heed..Im sick of my own family bn woken up at this hour ,my kids are half asleep goin into school its not fair:(She doesnt talk she shouts and i can hear her word 4 word..I dont know if she would understand me if i walked in shes nigerian i tink .Please can someone help me ????

jackal

Earplugs?

seamus

Make a complaint to her landlord, or if she's not renting, make a complaint to the local council.

Zamboni

I'm not sure there is a genuine complaint here.
Our culture involves fairly low vocal acoustics but we are very much in the minority in that case around the world.
If this woman and her family are living their normal lives in the confines of their own dwelling I cannot see a problem. It's not as if they are blaring the stereo.
I would move if it affected me.

TommyT

Zamboni wrote: »

I'm not sure there is a genuine complaint here.

Of course there is a genuine complaint here. The noisy neighbour is not in Africa now. When in Rome.......

ztoical

TommyT wrote: »

Of course there is a genuine complaint here. The noisy neighbour is not in Africa now. When in Rome.......

If they really are that loud the OP needs to complain to the local authority not the landlord and the first thing that will be asked is have they tired to approach the person causing the noise and explain that it is a nuisance and try to come to a mutually acceptable solution. If the OP says all they've done is banged on the wall, the local authority will only tell them to go speak with the person and if that doesn't work to come back and they may investigate the level of noise to see if it is at a level that is effecting the OP's quality of life.

OP if you think they won't understand you if you try to speak with them how do you know they understand what you mean when you bang on the walls? For all they know that's your way of saying good morning. Go talk to them, you may find it's a very simple solution to the whole thing.

MRBEAVER

I think the issue may be more due to poor building standards and lack of noise insulation. In many other countries and cultures people feel that they should not have to tippie toe around and get their children to stay quiet and whisper for fear of making a noise that would upset their neighbours. If they were blaring a sound system it would be different but if you cannot tolerate normal living noise from neighbours then maybe you should have considered buying a place with noise insulation if a detached property was not an option.

Cookie_Monster

See here

the keen edge

Give Madonna a call, she might be interested in buying the children, at a reasonable price of course.

squod

Set the house alarm off then feck off to the mother in laws for a couple of days. Repeat X5

The neighbour will be gone before you get back by the last time.

goat2

MRBEAVER wrote: »

I think the issue may be more due to poor building standards and lack of noise insulation. In many other countries and cultures people feel that they should not have to tippie toe around and get their children to stay quiet and whisper for fear of making a noise that would upset their neighbours. If they were blaring a sound system it would be different but if you cannot tolerate normal living noise from neighbours then maybe you should have considered buying a place with noise insulation if a detached property was not an option.

you should go and check your attic space, is there a wall going right up or is it that all the houses look like one attic, another thing is put more insulation in your attic space pack it will it will also save your heating bills anyway, as most homes dont have enough, also the walls ajoining them could have the woadrobes or book shelves put on them to dull the noise there are many things you can do to dull down this noise, heavier curtains on windows of bedrooms also

ricman

GO TO THE welfare officer for the area ,explain the situation ,ask can she be moved out, shes probably on rent allowance.
unfortunately some people who are stupid have kids, they have no idea how to raise them ,or control them,and think i,ve got kids ,that means i,m god.
I can treat other people like crap.
You have to study to drive a car but any moron can have kids.
So houses have very bad sound insulation.
Why the hell does anyone get up at 5.30, she must be giving them too much sweets / fizzy drinks.
Or shes on drugs or something.
You could put sound insulation on the walls on facing her house.
i knew a african woman with 3,or 4 kids had to move out, the neighbours told her to move.
her kids were robbing /petty crime ,the neighbours were just fed up.
Her kids were running wild.
Meanwhile ,buy some earplugs, go to sleep at ten pm.

ztoical

ricman wrote: »

GO TO THE welfare officer for the area ,explain the situation ,ask can she be moved out, shes probably on rent allowance.
unfortunately some people who are stupid have kids, they have no idea how to raise them ,or control them,and think i,ve got kids ,that means i,m god.
I can treat other people like crap.
You have to study to drive a car but any moron can have kids.
So houses have very bad sound insulation.
Why the hell does anyone get up at 5.30, she must be giving them too much sweets / fizzy drinks.
Or shes on drugs or something.
You could put sound insulation on the walls on facing her house.
i knew a african woman with 3,or 4 kids had to move out, the neighbours told her to move.
her kids were robbing /petty crime ,the neighbours were just fed up.
Her kids were running wild.
Meanwhile ,buy some earplugs, go to sleep at ten pm.

What utter rubbish...you've no clue what this woman's background is and are assuming alot. So what they get up at 5.30....I get up at 5.30 most mornings. The OP needs to speak with them first, they may not be aware of the level of the sound. If they don't lower the volume or don't understand the OP needs to speak with the local authority to have the sound measured. As seen on this forum there are alot of issues with noise in houses and in alot of cases it's down to bad insulation and not the people.

goat2

ztoical wrote: »

What utter rubbish...you've no clue what this woman's background is and are assuming alot. So what they get up at 5.30....I get up at 5.30 most mornings. The OP needs to speak with them first, they may not be aware of the level of the sound. If they don't lower the volume or don't understand the OP needs to speak with the local authority to have the sound measured. As seen on this forum there are alot of issues with noise in houses and in alot of cases it's down to bad insulation and not the people.

you make sense to me
i would say the neighbour does not know she and her children can be heard next door.
i have heard from friends wh live in these new housing estates that they can hear their next door neighbours, who would not be the noisy kind.
that is why i mentioned insulating attic and other steps to take.
the lady is her next door neighbour, and one should try anything but not accusing her of being over noisy first, our neighbours are very important to us, as we can all watch out for one another, safe guard the home while others are away keeping an eye out for each other, if you fall out it would make life very awkward

dermothickey

Maybe go to bed earlier and rise at 5;30 too so you can enjoy the summer mornings, go for a walk and make the ould porridge, Pop in next door and have a morning chat with your neighbor. Who knows you could be sounding just as noisy as them later in the night.

ricman

So you think its normal to wake up kids at 5.30?And cause enough noise to wake up the whole family next door,thats just anti social behavior.
Most people need 8 hours sleep, so most people go to bed around 12 pm.
would you really like to be woken at 5.30 every morning ?

dermothickey

As the woman next door has kids, Im sure she doesn't let them stay up until 12 o clock at night.

Rafa1977

I wonder if the neighbour was Irish would this be a probleam????????

ParkRunner

How old is the house?

Chinafoot

sassychick wrote: »

I dont know if she would understand me if i walked in shes nigerian i tink

English is the official language of Nigeria. While there are many other languages used, English is widely used in education and business so I seriously doubt your Nigerian neighbour would be unable to understand you. Go and speak to her about it.

I would agree with others who say that this is an issue of poor insulation. During the boom so many houses were just thrown up with very poor standards and paper thin walls. Speak to your landlord about organising better insulation.

ztoical

ricman wrote: »

So you think its normal to wake up kids at 5.30?And cause enough noise to wake up the whole family next door,thats just anti social behavior.
Most people need 8 hours sleep, so most people go to bed around 12 pm.
would you really like to be woken at 5.30 every morning ?

12? Seriously do you have kids? If the OP's kids are primary school age and are staying up later then 9pm then the OP has more serious issues then the woman next door making noise. Most of my friends who have very young kids have them in bed by 8pm at the latest and they are up early...they're kids. Esp now when we're in summer time and it's bright outside from 5am When I was in primary 9pm was the cut off if you were really good and in secondary school it was 11, no parent should be letting their kids stay up past 12 on a school night. If the kids next door were really hyper like the OP claims they'd be awake till all hours of the night not waking up early.

It's hardly anti social behavior when the OP states they've done nothing but bang on the wall to deal with the issue. Saying your at the end of your tether implies you've exhausted every other option but from the sounds of it the OP has done nothing to deal with the issue.

angel01

I would have a word with her, tell her how much it is affecting you and your family, if you can't get anywhere, try contact the PRTB, county council, and keep escalating it, it is antisocial behaviour. If it is heard outside your house/apartment, it is too loud and is unacceptable.

Chinafoot

angel01 wrote: »

it is antisocial behaviour. If it is heard outside your house/apartment, it is too loud and is unacceptable.

That depends entirely on the quality of the building. I used to babysit for my aunt in a new housing estate in Balbriggan which had been built very, very quickly. I could hear the conversations of the people next door and they certainly weren't shouting. The walls were paper thin and insulation was very very poor.

It is entirely unreasonable to expect a family with 3 young kids to tip-toe around their own home because the shoddy building work means the sound travels much more than it would in a properly built and insulated house.

Banging on walls, reporting it to landlords and the council without ever speaking to the tenant or her own landlord to investigate the insulation situation is rude and tbh, far more "anti-social" than a woman and her kids living their lives in their own home.

Zamboni

Zamboni wrote: »

I'm not sure there is a genuine complaint here.
Our culture involves fairly low vocal acoustics but we are very much in the minority in that case around the world.

If people want to behave as they do in their own country, then they should stay there. I have the same problem with an Indian neighbour and it drives me mad. I don't care if it's normal to talk loudly at 2am on a weeknight there, it isn't here and I don't appreciate it when I'm a wreck all day long because I haven't slept.

Can't believe some of the responses here. Getting up at 5.30 is normal? OP should get up at 5.30 as well? In every apartment complex I've ever lived in, any sort of audible noise before 7 was not allowed. It's just bloody common sense and manners. I too used to get up at half 5 for my job, but I did so quietly, no talking, no radio, no clomping around. I pulled the door closed very slowly. My flatmates didn't hear me leaving, never mind the neighbours. I'm sure people will say 'ohh but she has kids' - so? If she can't control them, she shouldn't be living in an apartment/terraced/semi detached house. I travelled a lot as a kid and was always leaving hotels at ridiculous hours of the morning, and my parents made it clear that noise was not going to be tolerated.

I would approach the neighbour and explain how much the noise is affecting you, if it continues after that, report her.

dermothickey

[quote=[Deleted User];65917034]If people want to behave as they do in their own country, then they should stay there. I have the same problem with an Indian neighbour and it drives me mad. I don't care if it's normal to talk loudly at 2am on a weeknight there, it isn't here and I don't appreciate it when I'm a wreck all day long because I haven't slept.

.[/QUOTE]

Sounds a bit like a race card your pulling there izzy wizzy. Have you ever lived beside students? Or alcoholics? Who keep people up until all hours of the night? In no way does your race play a card on what time you do or don't go to bed or wake up for that matter. Plenty people all over the country wake up at 5:30 in the morning, and especially if you have kids, do you really understand children when they wake up in the morning, and if the walls are like paper. Not much can be done really. The woman next door has a right to get up at 5:30 irrespective of her culture.

Early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise :D

AARRRRGH

Attach one of those huge water pumps to the wall beside where she sleeps.
No need to connect it up or anything. Then have a timer switch that switches it on every 15 mins at night. Make sure she never sleeps.
Go stay in a friends or go on hols for a few weeks.
I bet shes gone when you get back

dermothickey

dermothickey wrote: »

Sounds a bit like a race card your pulling there izzy wizzy. Have you ever lived beside students? Or alcoholics? Who keep people up until all hours of the night? In no way does your race play a card on what time you do or don't go to bed or wake up for that matter. Plenty people all over the country wake up at 5:30 in the morning, and especially if you have kids, do you really understand children when they wake up in the morning, and if the walls are like paper. Not much can be done really. The woman next door has a right to get up at 5:30 irrespective of her culture.

Early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise :D

Race card? How on EARTH did you get that? If anything, I'm talking about culture, not race, and I certainly never claimed that only foreign neighbours are annoying, or that all foreign neighbours are annoying. I simply responded to a poster who was basically making an excuse for the OP's neighbours and I stand by that. It's particularly funny that you seem to be accusing me of xenophobia since I'm half Italian. Italians speak more loudly than Irish people and I remind my cousins when they're over that their acceptable level is not our acceptable level and that they need to keep it down. It really comes to something when you can't complain about people making excuses for selfish and rude neighbours 'because they talk louder than we do' without being branded a racist.

Plenty of people wake up at 5.30? A VERY small minority. Come on, for God's sake! I used to get up at that time myself, so I know how few cars are on the road and people on public transport. Most people get up at 7 or later. That's just how it is, and that's why most noise laws/rules state that there can be no noise between 11 and 7, so the MAJORITY of people can get their 8 hours sleep. Of course people have the right to get up whenever they like, but they do NOT have the right to wake their neighbours up at that time. Nobody should ever be expected to wake up at a certain time because their neighbours do, that's pure madness! What if the OP was doing shift work and finishing at midnight every night? Am I the only person living in the real world here?

Oh and BTW, I AM a student. I'm still considerate and quiet. It's not that difficult.

dermothickey

[quote=[Deleted User];65917034]If people want to behave as they do in their own country, then they should stay there. I have the same problem with an Indian neighbour and it drives me mad. I don't care if it's normal to talk loudly at 2am on a weeknight there, it isn't here and I don't appreciate it when I'm a wreck all day long because I haven't slept.

.[/QUOTE]

You got to admit this just sounds racist, telling people they should stay in their own country.

ricman

If you rent an apartment its part of the lease ,no loud noise after 11.30, or before 8pm, otherwise it would be impossible for anyone to live in an apartment.my sisters kids would get up at seven pm ,but they were very quiet,they never woke me up when i stayed there.
IF you are renting could you just move out ,if you cant improve the situation.
SEE your local td, centrecare in dublin 1 cathedral st, off o,connell st specialise in giving advice re accomodation, tenancy etc.
GOOGLE CENTRECARE ie.

dermothickey

dermothickey wrote: »

You got to admit this just sounds racist, telling people they should stay in their own country.

Yes, it does when you take it completely out of context like you just did. :rolleyes: Amazing talent for finding the 'racist' in everything you have. If I'd said all Indians are noisy and rude, you'd have a point. I said if people want to come to my country and aren't prepared to adapt to the way of life here, then yes, they should have stayed where they were. I've lived in six different countries and I've never been arrogant enough to say 'In Ireland we do it like this'. Who cares what we do in Ireland? My grandparents were immigrants and they adapted no problem. Some people can just use the 'but in India we talk really loudly' excuse for inconsiderate behaviour because they know that anyone who objects will be branded a racist. Who do YOU think is playing the race card?

ztoical

[quote=[Deleted User];65919913]Yes, it does when you take it completely out of context like you just did. :rolleyes: Amazing talent for finding the 'racist' in everything you have. If I'd said all Indians are noisy and rude, you'd have a point. I said if people want to come to my country and aren't prepared to adapt to the way of life here, then yes, they should have stayed where they were. I've lived in six different countries and I've never been arrogant enough to say 'In Ireland we do it like this'. Who cares what we do in Ireland? My grandparents were immigrants and they adapted no problem. Some people can just use the 'but in India we talk really loudly' excuse for inconsiderate behaviour because they know that anyone who objects will be branded a racist. Who do YOU think is playing the race card?[/QUOTE]

Sorry hon but it did sound racist cus the persons nationality had little to do with your issue. You've never lived next door to Irish people who made noise at 2 in the morning? The fact that your neighbour is/was Indian has nothing to do with it, they were just loud. If we're going to go down the race line the Irish have a rep overseas for being loud late at night. I've had people warn me about being quite after 10 in France and Germany even when I wasn't making noise cus they explained every time they'd Irish people staying they would be really loud singing and chatting till all hours of the night.

Everyone mentioning culture and difference wtf? The person in question said the kids get up early and make noise...sounds like all kids regardless of where they are from. We can argue back and forth over wither 5.30 is too early or not, some will find it to early others won't. The OP has done nothing to fix this issue but is at the end of their tether implies IMO that they are making a mountain out of a mole hill. If they'd spoken to the mother and they'd been rude and made even more noise then maybe yeah but they've done nothing to deal with the issue.

People also keep mentioning apartments. The OP has clearly stated it's a house and some people assume sound doesn't travel as much in a house so the family next door just might not be aware of the level of noise and never are going to if the OP doesn't say something. The family might also assume that with a family with kids living next door they are use to the noise of kids. My friend lives with her 5 year old in an estate that has alot of young families. Nearly everyone has one or more kids under 10 and I find the noise level in the place really mad at certain hours of the day but my friend doesn't even notice.

ztoical

ztoical wrote: »

Sorry hon but it did sound racist cus the persons nationality had little to do with your issue. You've never lived next door to Irish people who made noise at 2 in the morning? The fact that your neighbour is/was Indian has nothing to do with it, they were just loud. If we're going to go down the race line the Irish have a rep overseas for being loud late at night. I've had people warn me about being quite after 10 in France and Germany even when I wasn't making noise cus they explained every time they'd Irish people staying they would be really loud singing and chatting till all hours of the night.

And WHERE did I say that? In response to someone who said other nationalities tend to be louder than the Irish, I said I have an Indian neighbour who has told me 'people speak louder in India' when I knocked on his door to complain about the noise. I think that's quite a pathetic excuse, and I do think that, when in Rome, live as the Romans do. Basically I don't care what's normal in India because I have not chosen to live in India! Where did I say this is the ONLY reason for noise? Where did I say I haven't had other annoying neighbours? Where did I say Irish people aren't loud abroad? All these things are irrelevant to this discussion. I'm simply saying that claiming that Nigerians etc are naturally louder than the Irish, is stupid. THAT, in fact, is playing the race card.
:rolleyes:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_card

It doesn't matter whether the neighbour is Nigerian or Polish or Irish, she should not be speaking at a volume which wakes the neighbours at 5.30 a.m.

Chinafoot

[quote=[Deleted User];65925638]

It doesn't matter whether the neighbour is Nigerian or Polish or Irish, she should not be speaking at a volume which wakes the neighbours at 5.30 a.m.[/QUOTE]

Jesus, unclench.


The point that has been disregarded once again is that there is a good chance this is down to the building itself. If you have any experience of the housing estates that went up during the boom you'll be aware of how poorly built a lot of them are and you can literally hear normal level conversations through the walls.

A discussion between the OP and her neighbour would be the sensible thing to do. Making ignorant assumptions about language ability and hammering on walls isn't.

Zamboni

[quote=[Deleted User];65925638]In response to someone who said other nationalities tend to be louder than the Irish, I said I have an Indian neighbour who has told me 'people speak louder in India' when I knocked on his door to complain about the noise. I think that's quite a pathetic excuse, and I do think that, when in Rome, live as the Romans do. [/QUOTE]

You think it's a pathetic excuse to be able to live what you consider a normal life in your own dwelling?
Tell me how do you define what is an 'acceptable' noise level?
We live in a multicultural society. Deal with it.

Chinafoot

Chinafoot wrote: »

Jesus, unclench.


The point that has been disregarded once again is that there is a good chance this is down to the building itself. If you have any experience of the housing estates that went up during the boom you'll be aware of how poorly built a lot of them are and you can literally hear normal level conversations through the walls.

A discussion between the OP and her neighbour would be the sensible thing to do. Making ignorant assumptions about language ability and hammering on walls isn't.

What are you on about? I know this. I simply said that the woman being from another country is not an excuse to be loud, and that it is stupid for people to make this excuse for her. I'm well aware that Nigerians speak English and I would have gone straight round to tell her she was waking me up every day.

Zamboni wrote: »

You think it's a pathetic excuse to be able to live what you consider a normal life in your own dwelling?
Tell me how do you define what is an 'acceptable' noise level?
We live in a multicultural society. Deal with it.

Condescending much? I grew up in Manchester, my family is Italian, I've lived in a multicultural society all my life. That's my ENTIRE point, where someone is from is irrelevant. This is NOT India or Rome or Seoul, so saying 'well we speak more loudly in X place' is irrelevant to someone who is just trying to get to sleep. How on earth are you blowing it that far out of proportion? An acceptable noise level is one which does not impact on the life of your neighbours. Talking loudly at 2am in an apartment with paper thin walls is not acceptable. I DON'T CARE if it's acceptable in India, I live in London and I live in a building with noise regulations stating that there is to be no 'excessive noise' between 11pm and 7am. If my neighbour does not wish to respect the fact that having noisy family gatherings at all hours is not normal or acceptable here, then he shouldn't be living here. I spent time in a country where even normal talking on a bus was frowned upon and I adjusted my behaviour accordingly. I used to live in Spain where noise is much more tolerated, and so I did not go knocking on my neighbour's door because *I* was the guest in *their* country. Since when did it become acceptable to go to another country and ignore the norms there? Multicultural societies only work when people respect each other, and keeping people awake at night is not respectful.

Have you never heard of 'your rights end where the rights of another begin?' That's how I see things. You could argue that people have the right to make noise in their flat at 5.30 if they want to, but if it's impacting on someone else, then they don't. It's really, really NOT that hard to be considerate. I live on a corridor with 4 families with kids, including one next door, and I hardly ever hear them. When they're in the corridor, they talk in low voices. Because that's what you do when you live in a communal building and most people are asleep. Same reason I put my headphones on when I'm watching TV after 10pm. My rights to watch a film don't overshadow the neighbours' right to a night's sleep (pity they don't show me the same consideration). If your neighbours are being woken up by your noise, you're too loud. It's not rocket science.

bobbysands81

Zamboni wrote: »

I'm not sure there is a genuine complaint here.
Our culture involves fairly low vocal acoustics but we are very much in the minority in that case around the world.
If this woman and her family are living their normal lives in the confines of their own dwelling I cannot see a problem. It's not as if they are blaring the stereo.
I would move if it affected me.

Everybody has a right to peaceful enjoyment of their own home.

The neighbours nationality is not an issue here folks, the noise is.

plasmaguy

Write a letter and put it in her mailbox explaining the situation and ask her to keep the noise down early in the morning.

Give it a week or two and if nothing improves then write another letter saying you might have to make a complaint to the council.

Start small and build up the pressure. At some stage the noise will stop, trust me.

ricman

so i,m from india ,i have the right to wake you up at 5 am every morning .
WHEN you come to ireland you should respect our rights and have consideration ,no one forces you to come here.Politeness ,kindness and consideration and manners is how we get along.
Sometimes political correctness can go too far.

The_Conductor

Guys- calm down.
Next person who personalises their post gets a holiday from this forum.

Post factual information addressing the OP's query- or if you disagree with what someone else posts- refute it in a factual manner.

Regards,

SMcCarrick

ztoical

plasmaguy wrote: »

Write a letter and put it in her mailbox explaining the situation and ask her to keep the noise down early in the morning.

Give it a week or two and if nothing improves then write another letter saying you might have to make a complaint to the council.

Start small and build up the pressure. At some stage the noise will stop, trust me.

Why write a letter when you could just knock on the door and have a chat? Sometimes the most simple solution is the best. If that gets them no were then yeah maybe consider writing a letter before getting in touch with the local authority. The local authority won't take their compliant seriously if they can't show they've made an effort to come to a solution themselves.

John Mason

OP, you should go and speak to her, just let her know that you family doesnt get up until x time and ask would it be possible to keep the noise down a little until that time.

also perhaps you should consider making friends with her, have a little chat with her when you see her.

if your kids are the same age, why dont you get them to come around.

its always much nicer to be friendly with your neighbors, there is more respect and its always great to have someone next door who can lend you some sugar if you run out

her nationality is not really relevant but in my experience most african people are very approachable and friendly, as long as you are the same with them - like all nationalities in the world

plasmaguy

ztoical wrote: »

Why write a letter when you could just knock on the door and have a chat? Sometimes the most simple solution is the best. If that gets them no were then yeah maybe consider writing a letter before getting in touch with the local authority. The local authority won't take their compliant seriously if they can't show they've made an effort to come to a solution themselves.

Because a letter can be copied for legal reasons. If you make a complaint to gardai or council, you can say you wrote the following letter.

A letter is more official and less confrontational than a chat.

With a chat, it's their word against yours. With a letter, no-one can dispute that communication took place.

Also with a letter you get your opinion across better, rather than having someone argue with you and make excuses.

My approach would always be to write a polite letter first.

john-joe

OP; what's the update on this?

did you go speak to people next door to you?

JJ

ztoical

plasmaguy wrote: »

Because a letter can be copied for legal reasons. If you make a complaint to gardai or council, you can say you wrote the following letter.

A letter is more official and less confrontational than a chat.

With a chat, it's their word against yours. With a letter, no-one can dispute that communication took place.

Also with a letter you get your opinion across better, rather than having someone argue with you and make excuses.

My approach would always be to write a polite letter first.

Writing a letter is very passive aggressive for a first contact. Why be so sure it's going to go further then a chat? The OP has done nothing to this point to deal with this issue so we shouldn't go assuming it's going to end up being some long drawn out issue. You don't know calling around for a chat will end up in an argument. The mother in question could simply not be aware of the noise level traveling through to the other house and that could be the end of it - no fuss no muss. If a quick chat doesn't work then yeah by all means go write a letter but I don't see the point in jumping to letter writing as a first option.

Frankly think we are going in circles unless the OP comes back to comment on the suggestions on the thread or expands on her first post with further information.