How do you feel about love?

Nervous Wreck

From all the love threads floating around, it seems there's a lot of different feelings on the topic, from those who are head-over-heels with their partner to those who are skeptical of the mere existence of such an emotion. For me, I guess I've broken my heart a couple times and done myself a good bit of damage trying to find what I had with my first love... I'm now skeptical that I'll ever have anything like it again... I'm sure it's possible, just not necessarily for me (given that I'm mental when it comes to the ol' blood-pump )... I really like love though and despite sometimes wanting to punch happy couples in their respective groins when I'm in a bad mood, I generally really like seeing a couple of people being really happy with each other....

How bout you dude(tte)s?!

miss5

I think love is the best feeling in the world. When your in love it's like your
the only two people in the world sadly when it ends loved up couples only
remind you of what you once had. I'm sure you will find love again I think
you need to forget about your first love as it will never be exactly like that again.
It's easier said than done but every relationship is unique.
It will be different and possibly much better. I do believe everyone has a soulmate.

entropi

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

I really like love though and despite sometimes wanting to punch happy couples in their respective groins when I'm in a bad mood, I generally really like seeing a couple of people being really happy with each other...

Agreed 100% mate:) I like the concept of being in love, having that thing that nobody else can have with a significant other...In a way I envy people who have it because I never had, but genuinely feel happy seeing people express absolute contentment with each other, and the pure, unequivocal trust that will bring alot of happiness in their lives.

Orla K

I'll be perfectly honest, I'm sick of hearing/reading posts about love, I've started to stop reading a post when it starts going on about falling out of it/ falling in it/ being in it/about how great it is/about how crap it is.

It's probably a self preservation thing, I am in love with someone but they died, and I just don't want to think about it.

I don't care that other people are in/out of it, I don't hate it when they are in love but I just don't like thinking about it.

Novella

I like love. I like that everyone thinks it's something different. I like that no one can ever really say what it is. It's kind of one of those things that has no correct answer, it's always right, it's right for everyone.

I dunno. I like love because it's kind of a like a little piece of magic, you have no idea how it happened, and all you can say is "Wow".

Darlughda

Been through hell and back, but I still hope! Love transforms life.

Darmstrong

I guess love fills that hole that most people have that is the need to be needed and wanted and adored.. This can only be filled by another person, unfortunately.
I think people need to be loved in some way (a best friend can fill this gap) but i think the search for love is a search in vein, you will always look for something and not be happy with what you find, if you don't look you have no expectations and that way people can only surprise you..

Also, just because your first was great doesn't mean its the best, and doesn't mean that the best has to be like your first just because your first was good.

Stop searching, stop expecting, let yourself be blown away

Abi

I have a 'love / hate' relationship with love. Its all fine and well when you are in love, but having to deal with the aftermath is not very appealing. So trying to stay away from it is all I've got for now

Recent events are about to test my boundaries on this matter. I dont like it

Snowie

If love was a fluffy bunny rabit then im the one with the shot gun!
I don't mean to come accross as morbid, but not really worked out that well for me.
But hey thats not sayin it won't i just find its not something i really do need, its more something Id like to be in.....

you gotta be tough to love.

I think.

megadodge

Male here, so expect the worst.

As a former believer in 'true love' I am very genuine in my belief that most women don't know the difference between 'love' and 'lust'.

How many women going out with complete assholes who treat them like **** use the excuse "...but I love him".

Translation - he gives them an orgasm.

princess-lala

I think its one of the best feelings in the world but on the other hand when your the one getting hurt its a cnut!

I love the feeling of butterflies in your stomach when your going to see your "new love"

I love everything about being in love, not everybody gets to experience love so we should cherish it while we have it.

After my heart being broken a few times Im still willing to let it fall for someone again.

Fago!

I've never been in love and neve had anyone in love with me so can't really comment on love. The only thing I can say is that I'd like to experience it. I see people in love and immediately I'm filled with jealousy. It's something I've always wanted to have. Thing is, I'm surrounded by it. ALL my mates are with someone they've been with for years and they're all very much in love.

I see people on here posting about their first love... I'll hopefully make that post one day.

One day Fago.... One day.

Dudess

It's both ecstasy and agony.

Fago!

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055659917

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055909256

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055907824

Jesus Christ!

Faith

Dudess wrote: »

It's both ecstasy and agony.

Pretty much. The ecstasy of being in love is fantastic. The excitement, the butterflies, feeling like your heart is going to explode because you love that person so much... But the agony they can cause is unrivaled. The pain and confusion you feel when the person you love does something shítty is unreal. You have so much vested in them, and the relationship, and suddenly you have to think about it ending. Oh, and of course, being dumped by a person you love is indescribable.

That being said, I think the benefits outweigh the negative. I think being in love is like joining a really special club, and you're just so glad you're a member.

The Big Red Button

I have to say, I'm getting a wee bit sick of all the "love" threads floating about - it's not even coming up to Valentines Day or anything!!!

As someone who's been in a very happy relationship for ... God, nearly five and a half years now (:eek:), I suppose that I take being in love for granted at times. I don't mean the magic is gone ... I still get the "butterflies", we still ring each other first thing in the morning and last thing at night (and several other times in between), we never get sick of each other's company - probably because we don't get nearly enough time together, we have proper "dates" as often as we can afford it, where we get all dressed up just for each other and go out for dinner and drinks or whatever. And we have soooo much fun together! We're each other's best friends, we know each other inside out - but we're still veeeery attracted to each other, as much as we were at the very beginning, if not more so.

It's not something that I think of on a day to day basis though. I mean, it's great that I have someone who will listen to me moan and rant for hours on end without telling me to shut up. And equally it's great being able to go for long walks holding hands and not even having to talk ... being able to have nice happy, comfortable silences, you know? I think that the love we have for each other is as close as you can get to unconditional love, without being actually related!!! I trust him even more than I trust myself at times.

But I think my point is, I don't lie awake at night thinking about this stuff. I don't think about how being in love is such a huge part of my life; I don't tell myself every day how lucky I am to be in a relationship with so much love and trust and, well, security I suppose.

I've never had my heart broken, and I suppose until that happens you're not going to realise just exactly what love does mean to you. That sounds like a cliche, but it's how I feel.

LadyW

It's been so long since I was in a relationship, I've forgotten what love feels like.

minidazzler

I have quite simple thoughts on the concept TBH.

I don't believe in the "True Love" thing, where people believe that who they are with is the ONLY person they could happily be with for the rest of their lives. I believe they probably CAN be happy with it, but that is not the ONLY person for them.

There are ~6.7 Billion people in the world, I refuse to believe that someone's one "True Love" Lives 15 minutes down the road for them.

I believe there are a few thousand people we could be in total awe of and in love with.

Sinall

I've been in love twice - it can be brilliantly brilliant and terribly terrible. Now I suppose I feel that it's "for other people" - as in I genuinely don't believe it will happen to me again. I think that, as I've gotten older, I've become less vulnerable to falling in love - if that makes sense!! Sometimes I miss it and think I'd love to have that experience again, but other times I'm happy I don't! I think I might try to run away from it if I saw it coming!

I am very independent, especially when it comes to my feelings, and the thought of relying on somebody else for something scares me.

the glass woman

I too am sick of all the love threads floating around, even if i was happy in love I would feel the same, so i've been avoiding them like the plague.

Well I am totally disillusioned by love and all things relationship-wise. I fell in love with someone, gave them 13 yrs of my life, married them, had a child, and less than 3 yrs into the marriage they hurt me in a way so bad that i don't think its even sunk in yet. We're apart for 5 months now, and there are some attempts at reconciliation, but to be honest, while I'm open to them because 'i love him', if i were really brutally honest, I think its more out of fear of being alone, than out of strong feelings. Only for our child, i think i would have cut all contact and be 5 months into a new life, instead of hanging on, waiting to see how he feels about being a husband and a father :mad:

I seem to think i can shut down all the desire to be loved and to love and trust, but really its just so i can try to avoid being hurt again.

seenitall

"Love" is the word most people put on their lust, convenience, security and fear of loneliness.

Before I get slaughtered for this by romantics, I did say MOST and not ALL, and yes I know that there are people out there who have been happily together for 50 years or so, but I believe they are exceptional, and besides, you can't know if they would still be together if the housework hadn't been done properly or if one of them got very, very ill for a very long time.

Don't believe me? OK, how about this:

have a few relationships in your life, just to experience different types of "love",

have one of them be a marriage, just to have an experience of that too,

get lied to and cheated on by one person who loves you,

get dumped while pregnant by a second person who loves you,

get conned out of money and stolen from by a third person who loves you.

You will believe me then.

Guess what, though? I do believe there is selflessness and kindness in the world, and if you want to call it "love", fine. I choose not to, it is simpler.

Love is not for me, had enough of it, it's all yours, have it and good luck with it.

banshee_bones

Faith wrote: »

Pretty much. The ecstasy of being in love is fantastic. The excitement, the butterflies, feeling like your heart is going to explode because you love that person so much...

For years I would have called that lust! :pac:

Sinall wrote: »

I am very independent, especially when it comes to my feelings, and the thought of relying on somebody else for something scares me.

Bingo. Same for me, however another thing for me is has been watching my friends, previously brilliant happy independent outgoing women who were awesome to hang around with turn into this person I don't even recognise because they are in "love!"!

They stop wanting to hang out, you only EVER see them when their new beau is busy and they drop you like a hot stone to spend another hour with someone they already spent 12 hours with. :rolleyes:

And then when it all comes crashing down around their ears they wonder why they don't have anyone to call up and cry about it to! Iv seen some very close friends absolutely decimated because they were spending so much time with their OH and his friends that when it all ended she realised that she had neglected all her friends and had to start from scratch.

Sorry thats just been my experience with it! Il stop ranting and killing the happy buzz in here now!!! :pac:

The Big Red Button

banshee_bones wrote: »

Bingo. Same for me, however another thing for me is has been watching my friends, previously brilliant happy independent outgoing women who were awesome to hang around with turn into this person I don't even recognise because they are in "love!"!

They stop wanting to hang out, you only EVER see them when their new beau is busy and they drop you like a hot stone to spend another hour with someone they already spent 12 hours with. :rolleyes:

And then when it all comes crashing down around their ears they wonder why they don't have anyone to call up and cry about it to! Iv seen some very close friends absolutely decimated because they were spending so much time with their OH and his friends that when it all ended she realised that she had neglected all her friends and had to start from scratch.

God I have seen this SO many times with friends of mine. It's really sad to see it happening, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. And there's only so many times you can pick up the pieces when they break up, only for them to lose all contact again when they inevitably get back together. (And God forbid you might have said anything negative about the guy while they were broken up for all of five minutes! :rolleyes:)

I also can't stand the people who "compromise" by meeting their friends occasionally, but always bringing their boyfriend with them. Everywhere. Seriously, if it's a night out or something, that's cool. But if I ask a friend to meet me for a coffee and a private chat, it drives me mental when she turns up with her boyfriend (it's happened.) I might like the guy, but I'm certainly not going to be able to chat about anything confidential with my friend when he's there.

Sorry, getting a bit sidetracked there ...

banshee_bones

chatterpillar wrote: »

I might like the guy, but I'm certainly not going to be able to chat about anything confidential with my friend when he's there.

Well you do know that shes going to go home and tell him anyway right!? :rolleyes:Because he is now an extension of her!! and anything you tell her she will tell him! I know because its happened! Same "friend" used to do it to me and my mates allllll the time, we eventually just stopped telling her anything and needless to say I am just not friends with the girl anymore.

(Sorry that was a lil Off Topic!:o)

em sorry OT again... love, yaaaa woop...etc etc :pac::D

GirlOfGlass

Fago! wrote: »

I've never been in love and neve had anyone in love with me so can't really comment on love. The only thing I can say is that I'd like to experience it. I see people in love and immediately I'm filled with jealousy. It's something I've always wanted to have. Thing is, I'm surrounded by it. ALL my mates are with someone they've been with for years and they're all very much in love.

I see people on here posting about their first love... I'll hopefully make that post one day.

One day Fago.... One day.

Awh.:( Your time will come when you least expect it.

And in relation to love: I like it. Just not when it ends. Simple.

Emme

Faith wrote: »

I think being in love is like joining a really special club, and you're just so glad you're a member.

Exactly. Being in love is like being a member of an exclusive club. Not everyone gets invited, and not everyone is qualified to enter.

I personally think that love is only for a lucky few, and I haven't been one of those lucky few in a very very long time.:(

I'm a sucker for love, I really am. On the exterior I look like someone that wouldn't have the time for soppy stuff but in truth I'm a dedicated advocate of love.
As far as relationships go I haven't had much luck. I'm very emotionally open to people, but I hide it a lot. I'm also a very protective lover, which can be overwhelming for some people. Despite my lack of luck in the field, when it comes to being with someone I won't settle for anything less than love.

Kiera

Love being in love. It’s the best feeling in the world if the person you love, loves you back.

beks101

I'm not sure how I feel about love.

In my head love is a fairytale-type concoction, it's everlasting and unconditional and doesn't disappear 'just because', but my reality of it has been the direct opposite. Houston, we have a problem!

We've all been hurt, but I'm the sort of person who is twice shy after even the smallest amount of pain / rejection. I don't know, I think it's because I am quite a proud, independent person, very self-reliant and I feel as though falling head over heels is going to jeopardise that independence, like 'surrendering my power.'

So I find myself in short-term set ups, 'having fun' and not investing because investing invariably results in pain. It has for me, anyway.

It's a bit sad, really. I've had a few instances over the years where I've thought, 'maybe...this could be something' and before I have time to complete the thought I'm cancelling dates because of work, or picking holes in the relationship, or distancing myself, or catching a plane home to Ireland to never see them again. I think I'm sort of scared of love and the compromises I would have to make.

MJOR

I love love..... The only person I have ever been in love with I married.

I can relate to all the sceptics out there, i was one for a long long time (i fell in love the first time at 28)

I think being hurt can dim the view a bit but I think that there is someone for everyone and in some cases more than one.....

PK2008

"If you want to be loved, be lovable"

Latchy

^ '' keep young and beautiful if you wanna be loved '' ^

Howard the Duck

My experiences of love have mostly been painful but there were some good times. At the moment i rarely think about it. i'm trying to concentrate on just being happy and enjoying the company of my family and friends. And very intermittent sex helps to keep me happy

Joey the lips

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

From all the love threads floating around, it seems there's a lot of different feelings on the topic, from those who are head-over-heels with their partner to those who are skeptical of the mere existence of such an emotion. For me, I guess I've broken my heart a couple times and done myself a good bit of damage trying to find what I had with my first love... I'm now skeptical that I'll ever have anything like it again... I'm sure it's possible, just not necessarily for me (given that I'm mental when it comes to the ol' blood-pump )... I really like love though and despite sometimes wanting to punch happy couples in their respective groins when I'm in a bad mood, I generally really like seeing a couple of people being really happy with each other....

How bout you dude(tte)s?!

,nhmjl]

They say you should never seek to find what you had in love but rather try discover what you have now....

As for me I have the same love i had when i was 16/17 so really I am a bad one to ask...

Hermione*

I love love. I think it amazing. I've been in love twice but it's a long, long time since I met somebody I could imagine falling for.

I think the fact that love is rare just adds to its wonder.
Carrie Bradshaw (in her wisest moment) said "If you find some one to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous". I want to find someone who loves the me I love. He's hiding

Hannibal Smith

Love is great. The problem is it's so conditional and can change suddenly, romantic love that is, if you do something wrong.

I love the love I have for my son though. I know it'll never change, I know it's for life and I know he'll always find comfort from my cuddles

Rozabeez

In the romantic sense, I'm terrified of it and tend to avoid it at all costs. Very immature, I know. But that's just how I am.

In the general friends and family sense, I love people so much that sometimes I could cry from it, the emotion can be overwhelming just from a sentence or little action out of the blue when you need it.

Jenneke87

I know I´ll most likely get slated for this or will be branded as "coldhearted" for this but I find love heavily overrated. It gave me nothing but problems, a lot emotional and physical pain(with scars to prove it unfortunately) while my ex told other people behind my back I was a "slut" and didnt clean his house for him....

If it´s up to my I´ll stay single for a long long time......

Acacia

banshee_bones wrote: »

Bingo. Same for me, however another thing for me is has been watching my friends, previously brilliant happy independent outgoing women who were awesome to hang around with turn into this person I don't even recognise because they are in "love!"!

They stop wanting to hang out, you only EVER see them when their new beau is busy and they drop you like a hot stone to spend another hour with someone they already spent 12 hours with. :rolleyes:

And then when it all comes crashing down around their ears they wonder why they don't have anyone to call up and cry about it to! Iv seen some very close friends absolutely decimated because they were spending so much time with their OH and his friends that when it all ended she realised that she had neglected all her friends and had to start from scratch.

Oh god, I know exactly what you mean!:pac: It's like they turn into a person you don't even recognise! It's happened to a few times now with my friends- they get with someone and you just don't hear from them, and even if you do, all they talk about is what they did with their BF, what he thinks, what he says, blah, blah, blah! I just want to say to them "Hello, I want my friend back, not this person who has no life outside of some dude!"

That said, I've been a little guilty of this behaviour in the past but I'm trying to clamp down on it... I'm trying to put my friends/ career / family as my priorities, because, realistically, who stays with someone they met when they're in their teens/ twenties? Okay, some do, but not many, I'd imagine.

Actually just writing that last bit has made me realise how I've changed my opinions about love as of late. If you'd asked me a few years ago, I would have said love is the most important thing, love conquers all, love is always there for you! Not anymore. I guess I've become more cynical about the whole thing.

I once read a very good book called "Junk". It's actully about teen heroin addicts but there's a line that the main character said that always stayed with me, something like " 'Love is forever'! Yeah, I don't believe that anymore. Love is like anything else that just happens to you- it starts and then it stops. And that's it."

Pyr0

As Abitar said, I've got a 'love/hate' relationship with love at the moment ! It's kinda like eating a massive tub of ice cream. It's amazing while you have it but you end up feeling terrible afterwards !

nicegirl

My view of the whole thing is that it is probably the hardest thing to find, and more than likely get burned in the end. I haven't had a boyfriend in quite some time, and it will be a long time before I am in a position to be with someone, or even contemplate it. I am starting to think I am better off on my own. Maybe I just haven't met that someone yet who will change my mind, but, being single is by far the best option.

Giselle

Love is like playing the stock market.

You can invest everything you are and have, and be left with no return at the end of it, losing everything in the process.

Or you can take a chance and make massive gains.

Very few people are worth that risk.

Rozabeez

Do you not think people spend too much time looking for love? If we'd stop all this emphasis on finding the real deal, we'd enjoy relationships and all that an awful lot more instead of expecting too much.

Larianne

Hermione* wrote: »

I love love. I think it amazing. I've been in love twice but it's a long, long time since I met somebody I could imagine falling for.

I think the fact that love is rare just adds to its wonder.
Carrie Bradshaw (in her wisest moment) said "If you find some one to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous". I want to find someone who loves the me I love. He's hiding

It'll hit you when you least expect. Just don't go looking for it.

Yeah, I don't personally like public displays of affection or people who ram it in your face. But if people are happy, I'm happy.

I've been in love once in my life and unfortunately I fell out of love for him. He's a great guy, was my best friend and loved me to pieces but if it's not the same for me, then it was not fair on him.

I'm hoping I'll find someone who loves me as much as he did. If not well that's the chance I took.......

xoixo

I haven't been in love, and I'm skeptical of feeling that emotion anytime soon since I'm quite a commitment-phobe and get scared off quite fast.

But as much of the Scrooge about it that I am, when I see an old grey couple walking down the street and they're holding hands something inside just crushes my heart! Kills me.