Something that makes me sad.

MJOR

Ok so yesterday i was in Supervalu doing the shopping with my hubby. he walked passed this man that seemed kinda frozen to the spot ( he hadn't noticed him) and i made eye contact and smiled. He said "i'm kind of breathless" .
He had a 2 litre of milk in his hand so i took it and brought it to the till for him. He was telling me he was just out of hospital after three months. I brought the milk to his car for him and he just seemed so sad and lonely and told me he had no help. I actually nearly burst into tears at the injustice of his situation. I put the other few buts in the car and wished him well and a speedy recovery.

Obviously I couldn't do anymore but I am actually feeling slightly traumatised since. I don't know what it is about elderly people but I always want to mind them.

My husband was telling me that i couldn't do anymore either. Logically I can't fix his situation.And I couldn't have.

It's maybe a pointless post but I don't know what has come over me lately!!!

Michael B

Try not to take it to heart. It just shows what a good person you are though. But you did what you could I suppose. If you did anything else it might be crossing the line. I have a weakness for old people too, your story has made me sad but I guess you can't help everyone? I don't know what I would have done in your situation, you helped him, you should feel good for doing that. But yeah it is sad to think that poor man is just out of hospital and is on his own. I hope he's okay. And I hope you're not too upset about it. Very sad though, poor man

MJOR

yeah and i can't stop thinking of him, although at least he had a car

Faith

Oh god that kind of thing kills me. Literally, I feel such a pain in my chest, and I can't stop thinking about it for ages. Being alone is sad enough, being alone and old is awful. Old people eating alone really upsets me too.

Novella

Oh god, I can't deal with that kind of thing at all either. I'm really, really close to my grandad, would do anything for him, have never in my life missed a Sunday visit to his house, and spending time with him is the best. Old people are great. My grandad is full of stories and I could listen to him all day everyday. So every time I see an elderly person, I think of my grandad and how much I'd hate for him to be alone etc.

My friends actually constantly tease me about it. When it was really icy here, in January, I was driving home from work and saw a man trying to cross the road, but he just couldn't. I felt so awful because everyone was sliding straight past him. I got out of my car, left it there in the middle of the street and helped him. He was so lovely and I when I got back into my car, I burst into tears.

It's so sad to be alone in the world with no one to help you at all. Really gets me.

Daisies

I deal with old people a lot and the thing that tugs at my heartstrings is when I see an old person struggling along. I think of all that they've done in their life and now they're all alone.
I've helped people with their shopping, helped them up stairs etc

iguana

If you have the time you could do volunteering as a friend for an elderly person in your area. If not you could make a donation to a charity like Age Action.

miss5

iguana wrote: »

If you have the time you could do volunteering as a friend for an elderly person in your area. If not you could make a donation to a charity like Age Action.

+1
Volunteering is an excellent way of doing something good and giving back.
At least you helped him sadly most people would ignore people in that
situation. I think it's awful though.

Bonito

Awwww, fair play MJOR. At least he showed he needed a bit of help, too. Some people don't. Don't let it get you down too much. Hopefully he has friends to check in on him.

Will

MJOR wrote: »

Ok so yesterday i was in Supervalu doing the shopping with my hubby. he walked passed this man that seemed kinda frozen to the spot ( he hadn't noticed him) and i made eye contact and smiled. He said "i'm kind of breathless" .
He had a 2 litre of milk in his hand so i took it and brought it to the till for him. He was telling me he was just out of hospital after three months. I brought the milk to his car for him and he just seemed so sad and lonely and told me he had no help. I actually nearly burst into tears at the injustice of his situation. I put the other few buts in the car and wished him well and a speedy recovery.

Obviously I couldn't do anymore but I am actually feeling slightly traumatised since. I don't know what it is about elderly people but I always want to mind them.

My husband was telling me that i couldn't do anymore either. Logically I can't fix his situation.And I couldn't have.

It's maybe a pointless post but I don't know what has come over me lately!!!

You did all you could and more for the man and for that I'm sure he is gonna thank you and tell his family and friends of the time an amazing person came and helped him Don't be sad, you made the world a lil less horrible by sparing 5 minutes of your time.

Oh no, I hate that feeling

I get exactly like you, I think about stuff for ages after, and get kind of panicky and irrational about it, it's so sad to think people are so lonely

You did all you could, what you did was so nice and I'm sure he was so grateful for that.

MissMotivated

Yep I get this aswell to the point where I am nearly in tears over them and it really plays on my mind for ages!! My boyfriend jokes that I'll end up marrying an old man cos I always feel so sorry for them!!
It is so sad to see an old man or woman struggling and on their own

LadyMayBelle

You did what you could OP and well done for that.

I do understand too, I sometims get really overwhelmed if I think of my Gran or someting and how she is slowly getting less and less capable; don;t get me wrong she is lively but is slowly getting older and older..it's like I get a tight feeling in my chest and stomach and it feels really horrible..

I'm reminded now of when I had to fly back from Brisbane as my Grandad was dying; longest and hardest flight I ever had to make; when I left my Grandad was a tall, staunch and strong man, very dignified and almost like a statue, but lovely. I kept thinking of him lying in the ICU as a frail old man, scared and weak; and then who did I have to sit beside on the flight from Brisbane to Singapore but a frail old man who couldn't even open his little pot of fruit that came with the inflight meals; I felt like crying anyways because I was sad but I felt even sadder for this man..I actually considered asking to move seats as I let it upset me too much Golly I well up thinking about it, cos I still miss my Grandad

So you did well OP but I think lots of us can share your emotion, it's really sad.

MJOR

Thanks guys, i think it stems from the fact my parents had me late in life and i nursed them both thru their respective ilnesses and deaths. I guess I did everything that I could for them while still maintaining a job etc and I hate thinking that some epople have nobody:(:(

Censorsh!t

I was never one to feel like i must protect the old, and never knew any grandparents except my grandmother, who i didnt see very often and wasnt close to.
However, about 2 weeks ago was driving past a car crash, and an old man was standing next to his wrecked car with blood on his face. And it really really made me want to cry.

GirlOfGlass

And this is exactly why I never want to grow old. I've got a long way to go, but it still scares me so much.

I feel like crying when I see old people on their own. It's so sad to think that most of us will turn out like that someday.

Daisies

The saddest part I think in the Titanic is when the old couple are cuddling up on the bed and the water's rising around them. That's the only part that makes me cry

Madame Razz

I do as much as I can for older people, and would always help them out in situations like that; and they really really appreciate it. I also get very sad at the thought of them being on their own and not being able, and being lonely; it upsets me greatly.

I hate how some people have zero respect for the elderly, push them out of the way, treat them badly in shops, scam them for stuff, see them as a nuisance, taunt them etc. It makes me SO angry. It's disgusting behaviour and a rotten attitude. People like that should be put down:mad:

Fox McCloud

I really get the saddness and sorrow people feel for the older poeple that need help and dont seem to be getting it, but I think the best attitude to have is to help as much as you can while maintaing a respect for the person.

Pity, while heartfelt and genuine, probably is not helpful or wanted.

Acoshla

I just read this thread yesterday, was trying not to think about it because it makes me so sad (have two elderly grandparents, one lives alone the other is in a hospital), and now I just heard something horrible that brings it all back again

My mom called me to tell me that she just found our elderly neighbour trying to pull his car out of our estate but couldn't remember how to put it in gear Mom kept trying to explain how but he didn't know what the brake, clutch or handbrake were and was getting upset. She said halfway through this incident a man pulled up behind the car to exit the estate and broke his arse laughing at what was happening :mad: The neighbour also asked my Mom if her husband was inside and could he help, no man has ever lived in our house, and the neighbour used to know that

I used to spend summers playing in this person's garden with their dogs and grandkids when I was small, his wife died last year, so sad to see things like this happen. The only small comfort is we know his family and will contact them to tell them what happened, at least he's not totally alone.

MJOR

i think that if everyone looked out for their neighbours a bit more especially the older ones the world would be a better place:)

Daisies

MJOR wrote: »

i think that if everyone looked out for their neighbours a bit more especially the older ones the world would be a better place:)

I could never thank my neighbours in rural Galway for all the help they gave us with my Nan. She has had Alzheimer's for about 10 years now. She lived alone and would often go wandering back our (thankfully very quiet) road. Whenever our neighbours saw her, they would bring in her in and ring one of us and keep her there until my Mam got home from work or someone could get in contact with my Dad. I dread to think what could have happened if t wasnt for their concern and kindness
She is now in a nursing home where at least she can get the 24-7 care she needs. I think I would rather die young then live to 85 (thats how old Nan is) and be totally unaware of my family, my surroundings and be unresponsive