BF and weight

alpha2010

okay this maybe for the relationship issues forum but i just need some advice from women who are on a diet themselves and how their partners feel about it

since me and my bf started going out 2 years ago, i knew he liked girls that were kinda big.. like all his exs were big so for me i was delighted because i was around 12 or 13 stone when meeting him, then after a year or so i went to 14 stone. i was so happy because i knew he liked my body but now lately when we fight he would call me fat and stuff and then after the fight he would say he didnt mean it and whatever anyways i start thinking maybe he doesn't like me at this weight and so i went on a diet

i was a C in bra size and i think im gone back to only an A or B... he has never seen my boobs that small and he has noticed my ass getting smaller, and those were the two things that he loved about me and he has said he doesn't like how I'm losing all this weight and asked me stop, im at 13 stone.. but then the other night we were fighting and he said even though your on this diet your still fat

like I don't know what he wants, me big or small. for me i want to get to 10 stone but he is giving me mixed signals. one minute he wants me to lose it and the other he wants me to stay the same

i think tbh he wants me to be skinny but have big boobs and ass and that ain't happening unless i get plastic surgery lol.. What should i do, stop the diet or keep going. I dont want him to stop fancying me i know he loves me but he got wth me when i was big so he might not be attracted to me anymore if i lose it

yomchi

What should i do

Ditch this moron of a boy friend. Get yourself to a weight that you are comfortable and happy with.

I genuinely feel sorry for people in relationships like these, I mean that with the best intention.

El_Dangeroso

DTMFA

This is prob more of a personal issues thing, but seriously, dump this guy. Any guy with half a brain knows that you never EVER criticise a woman's weight, unless you want to destroy her emotionally. This guy is a manipulative asshole control freak, get out now, get the body that YOU feel most comfortable in and a man that you deserve. xx

EileenG

I'm always inclined to answer any guy who says I'm too fat with "No, your cock is just too small." But you're probably too polite for that.

Seriously, he had the problem, not you. No man worth the time of day bases his affection on your size.

By the way, never diet for a man. It has to be because you want to, and believe it's the thing to do. If you feel better at this weight, fine, but it has to be your choice.

Darkginger

Echoing what everyone else has said - if you want to lose weight, do it for yourself and your health, not for anyone else. If he carries on being an arse, tell him you're going to lose the weight, and then HE can pay for breast and bum implants if he wants you to have them

On the other hand, you could just dump him. 150lbs plus lost right there

MonkeySocks24

There are so many things I want to say about how awful your boyfriends is etc but I know when you are in love with someone you don't want to hear nasty things about them. One day you may see him for what he really is or maybe not. I think that you worry too much about what he thinks of your body. When you are fighting he only wants to say things that will hurt you then and there and the biggest insult you can give a women is to tell her she is 'fat'. Does he tell you when you aren't fighting that he wants you to lose weight? If he doesn't then he is just calling you fat to hurt you and doesn't think your fat. That's sorted but why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who wants to hurt you? Or who wants to change you? This relationship sounds toxic. Who cares what size your boobs are or butt. If you are going to stay with this guy then at least stock up on insults for the next fight. If he calls you fat again, then tell him you wish he could make you cum like your ex did or that you wish his penis was bigger or etc. :D

Table Top Joe

Temple_Grandin wrote: »

DTMFA

This is prob more of a personal issues thing, but seriously, dump this guy. Any guy with half a brain knows that you never EVER criticise a woman's weight, unless you want to destroy her emotionally. This guy is a manipulative asshole control freak, get out now, get the body that YOU feel most comfortable in and a man that you deserve. xx

What (s)he said^^^^^^^^



Your bf sounds like an immature d***

Iristxo

Is this a troll? Is there really people out there that wants to get to the weight that THE BOYFRIEND wants them to have? Really? Ah no, can't be, this must be a troll

EileenG

I wish it were, but I do see this in ordinary life, among people I know.

Sapsorrow

:eek: Wow your fella sounds like such a dick! Get out of the relationship asap I say. Plenty of decent men out there who would love you if you were a size zero or a size twenty. TBH I know this is gonna make me sound like a bit of a b*tch but if your perceptions are correct I don't think he loves you. Or maybe he's just insecure and thinks if you lose too much weight you'll get more interest from other guys? I've heard of guys trying to 'fatten' their women up to try and stop other men from stealing them off them and all that.

alpha2010

Iristxo wrote: »

Is this a troll? Is there really people out there that wants to get to the weight that THE BOYFRIEND wants them to have? Really? Ah no, can't be, this must be a troll

no im being serious, i'm making him out to be a dick but he is not..like everything else is fine.. he went on the diet so i did too because it was the best choice i was meaning to do it but since he was i thought i might aswell.

i know i shouldn't change for anyone but at the end of the day, he could stop fancying me.. and it could be because of me losing weight, i know this shouldn't be a problem but i know girls that its happened to before, maybe my bf isn't like that but who knows.

i don't know like i think i have to agree with monleysocks 24, he may just say it to hurt me because its the thing that hurts me most like i do call him names too... like ugly or loner or whatever, we say things we don't mean.

what i was curious was should i stop the diet and from reading everyone's post, obviously not because I'm happy now and i have more confidence. lilke just there awhile ago he said i looked great. i think i just overreacted and when i do lose the weight and if he stops fancying me ahh well sure he wouldn't be the person i thought he was and that would be that

thanks for the advice guys

Iristxo

But do you really want to be with a guy that fancies you or not depending on your looks? When I was pregnant my feet went from a size 4 and a half to a size 7, you could not distinguish my ankles cos my leg was just one straight fat line (bloated). That would have been bye-bye to your boyfriend then if it had been you or at the very least he would not have looked at you for a while and even if he had you would have felt really insecure and unhappy. Is that what you want for yourself? Do you not deserve better? I know I deserve someone who loves me no matter what, and thankfully, I found him. You should also try for that, there's plenty of men like that.

Getwellsoon

yes I think the real question should be "should I really be with this man?" rather than "shall I diet or not in case he doesn't love me any more?". Because, to be honest, he should love you for YOU. When I met my boyfriend I was a size 14-16 with D/DD breasts, I'm now a size 6-8 with size A/B breasts... his love for me has never changed. He loves me the way I am now but he says even if I was to get bigger again he'd love me at any size. I'm a firm believer in that you should really be with someone you love not only for their looks but more IMPORTANTLY, for their personality. We all know that looks fade when we grow older, so you really do have to have more in a relationship than looks alone. You need to find someone who loves you for who you are and who never insults your appearance. It's FINE to argue in relationships, hell if we agreed with everything each other said it would be really boring!! But there's absolutely NO excuse to say really hurtful things to your partners that can really cut deep - things that actually have nothing to do with the argument. Maybe you should ask yourself: what weight would YOU feel comfortable at? Were you unhappy as a larger size? If you think you should lose weight you should go ahead and do it. Do what makes YOU feel happy. If he doesn't love you after you've lost weight then that is HIS problem... and I'm sure you will have no difficulty in finding a replacement!!!

corkcomp

your BF is a dic.k, no question .. However dont try to use his comments as an excuse not to lose more weight.. if your goal is 10 stone (and assuming you wont be under weight and that you achieve your goal in a healthy way) then go ahead ..

edit: just one slightly OT comment, just because a guy goes out with a girl who is over weight does not mean he is into that, or likes it .. it might just be that he is with the girl for other reasons and is prepared to overlook the size thing.