Do you cry in your work place?

Boston

Do you regularly tear up at work? Do you work in a environment where you are often subjected to weeping women? Do you feel this behaviour undermines your work place status, even when you yourself maintain professionalism? Do you resent woman who conduct themselves in this manor?

skywards

No. I subscribe to the theory of "don't get mad, get even". .

Xiney

I cried at work when the boss told me they were letting me go due to financial pressures. He kept waffling on after telling me too and I just wanted to get the **** out of his office and into the toilets where I could have a bit of a weep in private.

Apart from that, no. I was justified in the above case though, no question about it. 'Twas just before Christmas, knew there were no other jobs going (I'd spent quite a few months unemployed elsewhere in Ireland the year prior and I knew things had gotten even worse) and that there'd be nobody hiring until after Christmas anyway.

Also, I liked working there, was doing a fine job of it, and I had finally basically gotten 7 months worth of ignored accounts up to speed.

skywards

Xiney wrote: »

I cried at work when the boss told me they were letting me go due to financial pressures.

That I think is perfectly ok. *hug*

Shivers26

I have never cried in work over something stupid. I had a massive row with an ex boss and I cried that day and I had a personal issue a few months back and I will admit to crying in the toilets but I would never have let anyone see me cry.

I do remember a few years back working with this girl who was about 20 and she was constantly bawling in work. She seemed to row with her boyfriend on a daily basis and then spend half the day crying on the phone. She wouldnt even step outside to take the calls. Nobody knew where to look and the whole situation was so embarassing nobody would even ask was she ok.

g'em

Boston wrote: »

Do you regularly tear up at work?

For a time last year I used to cry on an almost daily basis because of problems in my personal life but I've only ever once cried because of something that happened in work.

Boston wrote:

Do you work in a environment where you are often subjected to weeping women?

No, there's a high female: male ratio where I am but I've only ever seen two of my co-workers shed a tear.

Boston wrote:

Do you feel this behaviour undermines your work place status, even when you yourself maintain professionalism?

On the occasions when I did cry I never did it in public - I'd go to the bathroom until I'd recovered. I don't feel that I ever compromised myself or my professionalism. I'm not someone who can put on a brave face 100% of the time, but I'd never, ever wish to make someone I work with feel uncomfortable just because I was upset. If I need to cry I'll do it in private. But I don't see anything particularly wrong with getting emotional in work surroundings if there's just cause - people here know me to be a very empathetic person and I'm often someone that people come to to talk to about work or personal problems.

Boston wrote:

Do you resent woman who conduct themselves in this manor?

In which manor? Women who cry? It depends on the manor in which they're crying tbh If someone is genuinely having a heard time then I'll go out of my way to help - a difficult work or personal problem is stressful enough to deal with. trying to deal with the feeling of isolation and loneliness that can come with it will only compound matters. If a woman is having a hard time and she feels the need to let it out then so be it - I've often said that my office is somewhere that they can come and do that in comfort and safety, and it's been availed of on a few occasions. I don't judge and they don't even need to talk, it's just somewhere that they can vent and talk and then get on with their day.

If it's an attention seeking drama-queen thing then I find it very hard to provide any sympathy, but I very rarely see this happening.

Boston

As a result of moderator interference, I've come accross poorly here. I'm not talking about crying due to receiving bad news or as a result of real personal problems. I'm talking about crying over every trivial thing. I gave example previously, but they were deleted.

I don't think the work place is the correct environment for venting. I'd equally have a problem with someone coming in, banging, shouting and kicking over chairs.

alwaysadub

No,i don't cry every time someone gives out to me or gives me hassle.
Sometimes though,if i've personal stuff going on,something that wouldn't normally upset me might.

Other times,even though i don't feel like i want to cry or am even upset,i start to well up anyway. Not just in work,happens watching tv or just walking down the street! My eyes fill up and it looks like i'm going to bawl but there's nothing upsetting me at all. It's kinda embarrassing at times

Nevyn

A simple thing may seem to be the trigger but it rarely is it could be a wealth of other issues in the back ground or just being at the mercy of fúcking hormones.

For some women crying isn't about being sad or weak it can be out of sheer frustation,
When I get frustrated and angry I can end up with tears in my eyes but I am not 'crying' it's my bodys way of trying to deal with stress I am under.

I hate it when it happens, there are time I have no control over it and men saying I can't function cos of a few tears or that I am doing it on purpose only infuriate me more.

Some people just have a "weakness of the eyes" as we call it in our family,
I hate that some people equate it to pissing yourself in public.

If a person in work was upset tbh I'd had them a tissue and ask whats up or I'd say it to the manager,
maybe they have stuff on and should take a personal day.

LenaClaire

I think I have only cried a few times in the office and it was for things like finding out that someone had passed away or having a migraine.

There was a woman in my office who used to get very emotional all the time. She would have very angry phone calls and then would cry and one time she cried because her boss forgot her birthday. Every week she had some new drama in her life that she had to share with us, either a boy, or money or her parents. It made the rest of the office think she was very un-professional.

Pyr0

I did once or twice because of massive amounts of stress and big personal life issues just getting the better of me. I'd completely understand if someone cried in work for those reasons or something equally serious just not for stupid silly reasons.

Boston

Thaedydal wrote: »

A simple thing may seem to be the trigger but it rarely is it could be a wealth of other issues in the back ground or just being at the mercy of fúcking hormones.

For some women crying isn't about being sad or weak it can be out of sheer frustation,
When I get frustrated and angry I can end up with tears in my eyes but I am not 'crying' it's my bodys way of trying to deal with stress I am under.

I hate it when it happens, there are time I have no control over it and men saying I can't function cos of a few tears or that I am doing it on purpose only infuriate me more.

The team cannot function while there is someone crying. Men do not know how to handle it and cannot move past it.

As for doing it on purpose, I know one person who likes wearing the helpless female cloak a bit too much. I don't think the crying is a conscious act, it's just a relex at this stage to something not going right. She's been crying her whole life, feeding off petty.

jujibee wrote: »

I think I have only cried a few times in the office and it was for things like finding out that someone had passed away or having a migraine.

There was a woman in my office who used to get very emotional all the time. She would have very angry phone calls and then would cry and one time she cried because her boss forgot her birthday. Every week she had some new drama in her life that she had to share with us, either a boy, or money or her parents. It made the rest of the office think she was very un-professional.

Sounds like she couldn't handle her job.

Malari

I've never cried in work. If I got particularly bad news I'd skip off to the toilet for 5 mins.

Who the hell cries over something trivial? I'm afraid, yes, I would try to avoid anyone who got that easily upset, but then I've never come across it anywhere I've worked either.

Nevyn

Boston wrote: »

The team cannot function while there is someone crying. Men do not know how to handle it and cannot move past it.

Then it's their issue and they need to learn to move past it.

Boston wrote: »

As for doing on purpose, I know one person who likes wearing the helpless female cloak.

Then don't pander to it.

Boston wrote: »

I don't think the crying is a conscious act, it's just a relex at this stage to something not going rigjt.

For some people is it just that the bodies reflex reaction to stress.

Boston

Thaedydal wrote: »

Then it's their issue and they need to learn to move past it.

Then don't pander to it.

I cannot handle someone at my desk crying. I don't see why I should have to learn how to be able to handle that. The only way I know how to handle it without pandering to it is to tell the person to cop the fuk on. When I raised the point with female friends, they suggested I give the person a hug. That's not something I'm willing to do.

Thaedydal wrote: »

For some people is it just that the bodies reflex reaction to stress.

Some men masturbate in reaction to stress. They at least have the decency to do it in private.

Freddy B

A few years ago my boss was out of the office and a few of us were slagging each other about a particular movie scene.

The next day my boss (a lady) comes in and - forgetting she was out the previous day - I quoted a line from the movie at her. Obviously she thought I was being a complete d*ck and started bawling her eyes out on the spot. I felt awful and obviously explained the context when she'd calmed down.

I actually stopped having any banter with her after this as I was afraid she'd react in a similar manner again.

Nevyn

Boston wrote: »

I cannot handle someone at my desk crying. I don't see why I should have to learn how to be able to handle that. The only way I know how to handle it without pandering to it is to tell the person to cop the fuk on. When I raised the point with female friends, they suggested I give the person a hug. That's not something I'm willing to do.

I suggest you talk to your manager about it.

Boston wrote: »

Some men masturbate in reaction to stress. They at least have the decency to do it in private.

Masturbation is not a reflex uncontrollable reaction.

g'em

Boston wrote: »

Some men masturbate in reaction to stress. They at least have the decency to do it in private.

Equating masturbation to crying is tantamount to trolling. You've already had one warning, give it a rest.

bronte

Thaedydal wrote: »

A simple thing may seem to be the trigger but it rarely is it could be a wealth of other issues in the back ground or just being at the mercy of fúcking hormones.

For some women crying isn't about being sad or weak it can be out of sheer frustation,
When I get frustrated and angry I can end up with tears in my eyes but I am not 'crying' it's my bodys way of trying to deal with stress I am under.

I hate it when it happens, there are time I have no control over it and men saying I can't function cos of a few tears or that I am doing it on purpose only infuriate me more.

Some people just have a "weakness of the eyes" as we call it in our family,
I hate that some people equate it to pissing yourself in public.

If a person in work was upset tbh I'd had them a tissue and ask whats up or I'd say it to the manager,
maybe they have stuff on and should take a personal day.

Thank you.

I cry because I'm happy, laughing, frustrated, angry...the list goes on.

It's a simple reflex.

Last time I cried, I was listening to a piece of music and it was just that beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes.

It does not make you some kind of hormonal basket case incapable of even the most basic of tasks.

Boston

Thaedydal wrote: »

I suggest you talk to your manager about it.

Another big source of tears.

Thaedydal wrote: »

Masturbation is not a reflex uncontrollable reaction.

Last I checked there are no gaolers, not chains tying people to their desk. Fair enough if someone just has to cry, but why do I have to be subjected to it?

Boston

g'em wrote: »

Equating masturbation to crying is tantamount to trolling. You've already had one warning, give it a rest.

I refuse to believe that emotional resonses are uncontrollable.

bronte wrote: »

Thank you.

I cry because I'm happy, laughing, frustrated, angry...the list goes on.

It's a simple reflex.

Last time I cried, I was listening to a piece of music and it was just that beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes.

It does not make you some kind of hormonal basket case incapable of even the most basic of tasks.

Ok, if that behaviour doesn't make someone a "hormonal basket case" then what does.

Nevyn

bronte wrote: »

Thank you.

I cry because I'm happy, laughing, frustrated, angry...the list goes on.

It's a simple reflex.

Last time I cried, I was listening to a piece of music and it was just that beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes.

It does not make you some kind of hormonal basket case incapable of even the most basic of tasks.

At this stage we call getting my mother flowers 'going to make her cry' cos she does every time.

Boston wrote: »

Last I checked there are no gaolers, not chains tying people to their desk. Fair enough if someone just has to cry, but why do I have to be subjected to it?

Well then why not said it to her, hey look I get you can't seem to help crying but you mind doing it away from your desk.

Personally if I can when it happens excuse myself so I don't upset others.

Does the person you would work with sob or is it just a silent welling of the eyes?

Xiney

Boston, I really don't think the direction you seem intent on taking this thread is appropriate to the Ladies' Lounge.

So that's the end of this.

g'em

Boston wrote: »

I refuse to believe that emotional resonses are uncontrollable.

You don't have to believe it, that's your perogative, but please don't make outlandish statements that have no place in this discussion.

I'm an extremely emotional person, frustratingly so. There are times when I wish that I could put on a brave face, bury my feelings, stfu and get on with it. But if I get upset enough no amount of willpower is going to stop me from crying. That response is compeltely beyond my control. But I am in control of how I deal with it - I can either sit at my desk, embarrassing myself and everyone around me with my behaviour, or I can go off on my own, find a quiet spot, let it out and come back to my desk feeling less overwhelmed keeping my dignity in tact.

I think there's nothing wrong with the second option in most working situations.

Edit: beaten by my co-Mod