Would you put your children before everything else?

Kimia

Was reading this today in the daily mail - no jokes please!

Some of this article made sense to me, and others horrified me. Check this one quote out:

The focus of my life became my child and not my partner. Whereas before I would maybe cook him dinner or meet him from work and go out, I spent all day with my son and then, later, I no longer had the energy to cook or chat into the small hours.

We stopped going out much. I didn't dress up in the way I used to, either. I couldn't see the point. Our life was about our child, wasn't it?

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1263575/Why-Ill-children-husband--destroyed-relationship.html#ixzz0kK42LQWy

Really don't like the sound of sacrificing everything about yourself and your own life for your child. Whatever about putting your husband/children first - what about yourself and your own needs? I'm a bit on the fence. Does anyone have any thoughts?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1263575/Why-Ill-children-husband--destroyed-relationship.html

bronte

Herself seems a bit OTT. I've heard before that the greatest gift you can give your children is to look after your relationship with the OH.
Obviously this doesn't apply to every single case, but it does make sense.

Orla K

I've never liked the thought of that, it's like being a shell of yourself. Your there but the things that make you, you aren't.

I've said it before but for me if I ever do end up with children it'll be childminders all the way maybe boarding schools too.

Pyr0

Orla K wrote: »

I've said it before but for me if I ever do end up with children it'll be childminders all the way maybe boarding schools too.

Why bother having children in that case ?

princess-lala

If I have any I will put them first but not risking my relationship too!

My mother has put us first all her life and still does but her and my dad have a great relationship.

There has to be some compromise in a relationship with children, I wouldnt give up work for them though - I have decided that already.

Das Kitty

The woman in the article sounds depressed to be honest.

In the couple of months since I've become mother the times I've felt the best are the times I made an effort to go somewhere or get dressed up a little or have a chat and glass of wine with the OH. The most important thing IMO is that we function as a family, not just two people tending to the needs of a baby.

I don't know how you can expect to raise a well rounded person if you give up what makes you happy or your relationship.

Happy Parents = Happy Child

Quality

Sometimes it is easy to lose track of your relationship. Kids are demanding and exhausting work., I should know I have 3 of them,

when my oh gets home I am delighted.. not just to see him, but to know that I can get a bit of a break from the kids.

I love my kids and they do come first. But like everything in life you have to work at it to make it work. My OH and I try to spend at least 2 evenings a week where we sit down with no tv and a bottle of wine or a cup of tea and no kids and just have a talk, just me and him. Our little time together... and we look forward to it.

Giselle

I think your children should be a top priority if you choose to bring them into the world.

But... putting them before everything else, all of the time, forever, is a recipe for losing yourself, and everything else you value in your life.

Including eventually even your children, since they will certainly grow up and leave in the end.

pikachucheeks

Orla K wrote: »

I've said it before but for me if I ever do end up with children it'll be childminders all the way maybe boarding schools too.

It sounds as though you've said "boarding schools" as an option to get rid of your (hypothetical) children, or have less dealings with them.

I'm not a fan of the misconception that parents send their children to boarding school for that reason. Sure, maybe some parents do, but a lot of them don't - and IMO, those who do, are not the best or most responsible parents.

I went to boarding school and trust me, you know when a child's been sent their out of parental neglect - the child knows too. It's extremely sad.

OT, I'd put my children before most things. If I had them, they'd definitely be a main priority in my life and I'd do the best job I possibly could, to raise them correctly and make sure they had happy childhoods and the best quality of life I could provide for them.

I think your perspective changes when you have kids. What you formerly deemed important can become trivial and a lot of your own needs become secondary to theirs.
However, I do think it's important that there's a healthy balance between taking care of your kids, taking care of yourself and taking care of your friendships and / or relationships - they're all important factors in a person's life and putting too much energy in to one and neglecting the others can be detrimental for all.

NoDice

Really interesting thread. I really like your thought on it too Bronte about "the greatest gift you can give your child is to look after your relationship with your OH".

I don't have kids but I like to think I wouldn't have kids with someone I wasn't 110% happy with and I knew I wanted to and could spend the rest of my life loving and being with. IMO I think that once I have found this person (and I like to think I have. ) we would both be excited about having a child and spending everything we've worked for together on the child both money wise and loving them every second of the day and letting them know that. Not in a stifling way though of course. Obv this is easier said than done and I will never know UNTIL I DO have kids..

That woman sounds depressed alright as Das Kitty said but I don't fully agree that happy parents = happy kids. I don't think it's as black and white as that. My parents weren't happy and everyone comments on how cheerful I am, plus I still love both of them in every way.

My partner will be my life yes, and our kids will be our life and we'll love them equally. That's how I like to think it'll be. We'll work together to help each other out and do our best to help our child have as an enjoyable life as we have had growing up.

krudler

Orla K wrote: »

I've never liked the thought of that, it's like being a shell of yourself. Your there but the things that make you, you aren't.

I've said it before but for me if I ever do end up with children it'll be childminders all the way maybe boarding schools too.

And then you'll be wondering why when they're teenagers they'll have no interest in you

When I first read the thread title I thought "hell yeah" but on reading further my opinion is very different.

I don't see the point in having children if they are not going to be your number one priority. In saying that, there are many many things that define a person as a good parent. My husband and my child are equally as important to me, without my husband, I wouldn't have my daughter. Without my marriage I wouldn't have the love and support that makes me the parent that I am (this is not in any way suggesting that someone who is not in this kind of relationship cannot be a fantastic parent, this refers solely to me).

My daughter is the most loved child in the world, and she is one of the happiest, but that is entirely a reflection on having happy parents. If I didn't bother with my husband, if I didn't bother with myself, that would surely have a negative effect (affect?!) on my daughter?

As Giselle says, when your child moves out at 18 to go off to college, what are you left with then? a broken marriage for the next god knows how many years.

Like many things in life, it's all about balance.

Kimia

I hope so too. I have to say, I have heard a lot of mothers talking about their children (friends, family etc) and I have heard it from both sides. I can't really relate to a woman who says that her children are her life, it makes me feel like she is just an empty shell who is only there for the sole purpose of the children, which i think is very sad.

One of my friends is brilliant - she said to me when she was pregnant that she refused to be one of those women who lose themselves and she promised me that she wouldn't bore me with 'mommy speak'. I didn't mind and told her i was looking forward to seeing her as a mother and for her child to be born (I was all excited). True to form, 4 years later, she is the exact same person - loves her child and is a great mom, but she maintains that kind of independence and i think it's admirable.

There is no need to sacrifice everything you are for your kids imo, just like there is no need to sarcrifice everything you are for your husband/wife. If you are independent you'll teach your children the importance of independence?

When i was growing up, there was nothing more embarrassing and cringeworthy as a mate's mom who wouldn't let her do anything - clingy mom syndrome. I also had a friend who's mom wouldn't let her go out if the mom's husband wasn't there becasue the mother didn't like to be on her own. Nuts.

cynder

Depends on the situation,

If your husband and child are drowning who do you grab first ? me i would grab my child. AND I WOULD EXPECT THE SAME FROM HIM.....

90% of the time i put my kids first, Hubby can look after himself my little kids cant, my eldest is learning to look after herself too. we have a little our time here and there but would not consider leaving them behind while we go on a weeks holiday together, but have left them for 2 days to go on our honeymoon while my mother looked after them and then took them on our family holiday to disney world florida.

Do i really need to attend to my husbands every whim IM NOT A SLAVE he has two hands!!!!!!!

Yes i do attend 90% of the time to my kids whims as they cant make themselves dinner or wipe their bum or give themselves a bottle or bath themselves etc........

Kooli

As a counsellor for college students I have seen the damage that can be done by mothers that invest everything into their kids and put them ahead of their husbands. It can end up with teenagers and young adults who are plagued with guilt and take far too much emotional responsibility for their parents (emotional responsibility which was given to them). I know that's an extreme example, but I do think the belief that putting others (kids or husband) first at all times is a good thing has a lot to answer for!

I never heard that phrase about the best gift to your kids being a good relationship with your OH, but it makes complete sense to me.

bronte

Kooli wrote: »

I never heard that phrase about the best gift to your kids being a good relationship with your OH, but it makes complete sense to me.

I think I robbed it off Dr.Phil ! :pac:

cynder

Kooli wrote: »

I never heard that phrase about the best gift to your kids being a good relationship with your OH, but it makes complete sense to me.

Watching your dad beat the s**t out of your mom for the first 8 years of your life dont help much.

Theres no such thing a perfect marraige, or happily ever after, but there is a thing called give n take COMPROMISE.

Must say what about the kids who dont get a look in, who get beaten and are unloved? i would rather it the other way round.

grindelwald

grindelwald wrote: »

Do i really need to attend to my husbands every whim IM NOT A SLAVE he has two hands!!!!!!!

I find this statement quite bizarre. Putting effort into your relationship does not equal being a slave to your husband. Noone should ever be a "slave" to their partner. Of course your husband can look after himself, and of course your children need you more than he does, they are dependant on you and will be for a long time. But their dependance should not mean that your happiness or your relationship should suffer.

Children are hard work, but they are also the most fantastic blessing in the world, they will enevitably change a relationship, and put all sorts of pressure on the relationship for a while, but you should always try your best to ensure that you give time to both yourself and your relationship as this will in turn positively affect your child's life.

SeekUp

I don't have children (yet). But like most posters here, what I strive to achieve will be a balance between our child and the rest of my life. In an emergency situation, of course the child comes first. In everyday life, it's kind of a cyclical thing, isn't it? Parents caring for each other, in turn caring for the child, well-adjusted and well-cared-for child gives the parents confidence and reinforcement that they're doing the right things, happiness ensues.

I don't think that once a child comes that it's fair (nothing's fair, I know) to stop putting effort into other aspects of your life, whether that be work or personal appearance or hobbies or other relationships. Not that it's easy, and not that there's ever enough time for it all, I'm sure, but the things that made you a person before your child should still be in there somewhere after the child comes along. The challenge is finding a way to juggle it all, or deciding which balls to drop temporarily in order to keep the others in the air.

cynder

Ive seen two worlds

world 1, husband says jump wife says how high. she doesnt say it quick enough she gets a black eye.

world 2, husband husband doesnt say jump!!!!!!!!!!

world 1 was my parents world 2 is mine.


world 1 my dad wasnt loved as a chld, his parents always put themselves first and one even used to pin him down while the other whipped him with a metal hover pipe that used to tear into his skin. He grew up that way and thats the way we were brought up.

Religion had a lot to do with it, Wife had to obey husband regardless.

I dont like the it saying kids come second - would you say that the the wife who was raped by her husband when the baby was at the bottom of the bed. (it was the first husband rape case in ireland!!!) or should she have said yes i'll have sex wth you now (as the wifes duty (as the bible says)) and not give a s**t that the baby could fall off the bed?????????

Some relationships are not ment to be........ and yes the kids should be put first in those relationships and not the husband.

world 2 After 12 years together were content, i was with him through his cancer/chemo, we were together when our daughter nearly died twice, he was there for me when my dad died last year. Who Knows in 10 years time things might be different.

I love my husband and would die for him without a second thought as i would do for my kids.

cynder

Deleted User wrote: »

I find this statement quite bizarre.

Take it you never seen your dad smash your moms head against the brick wall again and again and again. Punch her in the face, break her teeth give her black eyes, kick her, smash her over the head with household objects. the screems, the crying, the police calling the lying.

NOW then how the f** can you say thas bizarre statement i saw it. i hated it and we got it too. Thats where my statement came from the other side the side you havent seen. IVE SEEN.

What is bizzare is that i still love my dad! I forgave him because it wasnt his fault it was what his parents did to him only a 1000 times worse......

So yes husbands have a pair of hands they shouldnt expect wives to drop everything and look after there every whim. My mom shouldnt have to have a black eye because tea wasnt ready for 6 o clock because she had a baby to feed!!!!!!!

I look at things different because ive seen 2 sides. when you get your face smashed in for not making a cup of tea for your hubby and still think my statement is off the walls then you can call it bizzare!

Kimia

Grindelwald, wow, i'm so sorry those things happened to you and I can only imagine how scared you must have been as a kid.

But in fairness I don't really think your response to Whoops was called for. You shouldn't debate with someone by using your past trauma - we all could do that after all.

Nevyn

There is a huge difference between caring for someone and doing things to show you care and being in an abusive relationship.

jellie

Grindelwald, that sounds awful, and im sorry you went through such a horrible time.

But noone is suggesting anywhere that you need to attend to your husbands every whim. some people are just suggesting that while your children should be one of the most important, if not most important things in your life that the relationship with your husband and that a balance of some sort is important.

Please note when i say your i am not referring to grindewald specifically but in a general sense.

cynder

I don't see it as trauma, just lifes learning process. I learnt from my parents mistakes. As I said I saw both sides . Easy for someone to say when they had a grand upbringing. But if you had nothing as a child and have someone say kids shouldn't come first what would ur reaction be?

I can only comment from what I have experienced. I don't pick things out of the air. Each comment I make has a foundation. My personal experience.

Wibbs

Kimia wrote: »

But in fairness I don't really think your response to Whoops was called for.

I agree. Please dial it down grindelwald.

cynder

Thaedydal wrote: »

There is a huge difference between caring for someone and doing things to show you care and being in an abusive relationship.

You don't know how these men think. They will use anything to justify their behaviour. If they read this thread saying don't put kids first it's just another excuse for them to use violence. He will say this thread shows you have to put your husband first now make me dinner

Silverfish

grindelwald wrote: »

You don't know how these men think. They will use anything to justify their behaviour. If they read this thread saying don't put kids first it's just another excuse for them to use violence. He will say this thread shows you have to put your husband first now make me dinner

And that's when most people would put their children first and leave.

From my reading of the thread, it's not saying 'Don't put the children first' it's 'Don't completely neglect your partner while focusing on the children'.

Kooli

grindelwald wrote: »

You don't know how these men think. They will use anything to justify their behaviour. If they read this thread saying don't put kids first it's just another excuse for them to use violence. He will say this thread shows you have to put your husband first now make me dinner

It sounds like you've seen some awful stuff and been through some awful stuff, and I'm really sorry to hear that.

However, for the majority of couples who are not in abusive relationships, then surely you understand it makes sense for those couples to invest in each other and give their relationship care and attention? For wives to look after their kids without neglecting their partner or their marriage? (or husbands for that matter)

Orla K

Pyr0 wrote: »

Why bother having children in that case ?

I did say if I have children. I do not intend to have children but if I meet someone who wants children I'm not going to be stubborn about it, except in the area of being the primary caregiver. I will not let go of my career or have it suffer for children. I didn't think I would have to explain this, it seems odd to me that I am.


And as for the boarding school, it's an option, that's all. In fairness it's far too early to know about that, I don't even know what area I'll be settled in.


I just know that if I were to have children and put them before everything, they would suffer because of it and so would I.

SugarHigh

Pyr0 wrote: »

Why bother having children in that case ?

So people who use child minders and send their kids to boarding school shouldn't bother having kids?

Nevyn

grindelwald wrote: »

You don't know how these men think. They will use anything to justify their behaviour. If they read this thread saying don't put kids first it's just another excuse for them to use violence. He will say this thread shows you have to put your husband first now make me dinner

I do know and there is never any justification to stay in an abusive controling relationship, but this thread is not about that.

It is about how women can loose themselves when they have kids and get too caught up with the needs and demands of the child/ren and not make time for themselves and their relationship with their partner, which can then result in an unhappy home as the parents grow apart.

My Mam used to remind us that as much as she loved us and gave birth to us one day we would leave to go live life's of our own and the person that she would be spending the rest of her life with, esp when we were all gone was her husband, theirs was the primary relationship.

SugarHigh

Deleted User wrote: »

I find this statement quite bizarre. Putting effort into your relationship does not equal being a slave to your husband. Noone should ever be a "slave" to their partner. Of course your husband can look after himself, and of course your children need you more than he does, they are dependant on you and will be for a long time. But their dependance should not mean that your happiness or your relationship should suffer.

She said "Do i really need to attend to my husbands every whim " So where are you getting the idea she puts no effort into the relationship?

grindelwald

grindelwald wrote: »

Take it you never seen your dad smash your moms head against the brick wall again and again and again. Punch her in the face, break her teeth give her black eyes, kick her, smash her over the head with household objects. the screems, the crying, the police calling the lying.

NOW then how the f** can you say thas bizarre statement i saw it. i hated it and we got it too. Thats where my statement came from the other side the side you havent seen. IVE SEEN.

What is bizzare is that i still love my dad! I forgave him because it wasnt his fault it was what his parents did to him only a 1000 times worse......

So yes husbands have a pair of hands they shouldnt expect wives to drop everything and look after there every whim. My mom shouldnt have to have a black eye because tea wasnt ready for 6 o clock because she had a baby to feed!!!!!!!

I look at things different because ive seen 2 sides. when you get your face smashed in for not making a cup of tea for your hubby and still think my statement is off the walls then you can call it bizzare!

Wow.

First of all, you have absolutely no idea, none whatsoever, what I have seen and what I have endured so I would appreciate if you refrain from swearing at me thank you very much.

Secondly, this thread has absolutely nothing to do with abusive relationships, what you have seen and been through is awful, but noone, absolutely noone here has suggested for one minute that someone should choose an abusive relationship over their children. I don't know of one single lady in this forum who would suggest such a thing.

I think you would do well to re-read the OP. This thread is about giving up your life for your children. Not about being beaten up for fear of your husband.

Again, I will reiterate, you have no clue what I have been through, and I would strongly suggest that you think about that before throwing accusations at anyone else who happens not to share the same view.

SugarHigh

SugarHigh wrote: »

She said "Do i really need to attend to my husbands every whim " So where are you getting the idea she puts no effort into the relationship?

I never once said that she doesn't put effort into her relationship. I couldn't possibly accuse her of such a thing when I don't know the last thing about her.

Chinafoot

SugarHigh wrote: »

She said "Do i really need to attend to my husbands every whim " So where are you getting the idea she puts no effort into the relationship?

Clearly a misunderstanding. We're talking about maintaining a good relationship with your other half when you have children and grindelwald appears to have assumed that that meant doing whatever your husband/partner wants. As we've all seen, this is based on previous bad experiences she witnessed in her own home growing up. Whoopsadaisydoodles wasn't accusing her of not putting effort in, instead she was trying to clarify that what she actually meant was putting effort into your relationship doesn't mean being a slave to your husband.

With all due respect grindelwald, perhaps you should consider speaking to a professional about what was clearly a very traumatic time for you.

On-topic:

I don't have children yet but hope to have at least two in the future. My sister has a child and she told me that the love she feels for that child surpasses anything she has ever experienced in her life. She says she would die for her daughter. I think most parents would be the same.

However, for me that doesn't translate to giving up your own identity and becoming simply "mother". I'd rather still be me - mother, daughter, sister, girlfriend/wife, friend, co-worker.

Effort needs to be made by both mother and father in the relationship, be that the mother making an effort for "date nights" and dad helping out with the child minding (assuming the mother decides to be the primary care-giver in the beginning). The woman in that article definitely sounds depressed.

cynder

Deleted User wrote: »

Wow.

This thread is about giving up your life for your children.

THe thread is titled Would you put your children before everything else?

Everything what is everything?


Depends on the situation,
depends on the family,
depends on your baggage,
depends on whether there is domestic violence,
depends on if either parent is an addict,
depends on if you have the money too,
depends if you love the person
depends if its a life or death situation
depends if the kids quality of life would be improved


Its not a simple yes or no answer it depends on every factor that comes into the equation as each situation is different there is no definate yes or no answer.



It takes 2 to work at a relationship, there has to be give n take.

Xiney

Grindelwald, please refrain from posting in this thread again since you don't seem to understand the premise and you're bringing it off topic despite multiple warnings.

If you continue, I will not hesitate to ban you.

cynder

Chinafoot wrote: »

Clearly a misunderstanding. We're talking about maintaining a good relationship with your other half when you have children and grindelwald appears to have assumed that that meant doing whatever your husband/partner wants. As we've all seen, this is based on previous bad experiences she witnessed in her own home growing up. Whoopsadaisydoodles wasn't accusing her of not putting effort in, instead she was trying to clarify that what she actually meant was putting effort into your relationship doesn't mean being a slave to your husband.

.

I took it as Would you put your children before everything else? not as

how to maintain a good realtionship with your husband when you have kids,

if that is what this thead is about then why call the thread Would you put your children before everything else?


call the thead would you put your kids before your relationship with your husband/partner? not everything else!


Just to say just because i talk about what happened when i was younger doesnt mean i need help. i just dont beat the crap out of my kids . (its the ones that dont talk about it you want to worry about) i also know it wasnt my dads fault, his parent were evil no wonder he ended up like he did. It will always be part of who i am and in a way make me stronger as i will never be a carpet (in other words a walk over).

Wibbs

grindelwald please take off two days for dragging thread off topic after repeated warnings. Not to mention getting abusive with other members.

K-9

From a male perspective, I totally get where she is coming from. Been in the situation of coming home from work to the child and doing all the child related stuff in the evening and weekend. Ex partner was studying, on work placements and had a part time job, juggling a social life and having time with the child.

It was hard to find time for my own social life and time together with all that going on and financial pressures. So many things to do, so many people to please, so many things tugging at a relationship, it becomes difficult to get time together.

We could have done it, but sadly, it became too much about "poor me" on both sides.

So back to the OP, no, putting all your time into your children is not good. You need to have a balance for sanity and the relationship to last. I would add a caveat, not only 1 person can resolve that issue, it needs 2 to appreciate and accept that it involves sacrifices, on both sides.

ash23

That article struck a chord with me.

I was guilty of it a little. I preferred staying in to going out, hangovers just weren't worth it, I wanted my days off to be with my child and my partner but I had little in my life aside from my partner and child.

It wasn't my childs fault strictly speaking. There were more factors at work. A lot of moving around, isolation etc.
But her ex sounds like my ex, where the child is just a great big inconvenience who gets in the way of their life. Which isn't acceptable either. But imo, neither is her way.

I lost myself and now I am a lot more selfish and happier for it.
I put my daughters needs ahead of mine and everyone elses. But not her wants.

If we have one thing to eat and she needs it, then it is hers. If she needs me for something I will be there even if I need to be somewhere else.

However if I have €50 to payday and we have everything we need in the house (food heat, clothing etc) then I may well (and do) put what I want ahead of what she wants. For eg I spend that 50 on a night out instead of on a game for her Nintendo.

Not all the time but I do appreciate myself more now. I work hard and I deserve treats too. It can't be all about her. I am a person and I was one before she arrived.


On another note, I have her in childcare. She always has been. I like working therefore I work. I don't want to stay at home and therefore I don't.

Greyfox

Deleted User wrote: »

Wow.

First of all, you have absolutely no idea, none whatsoever, what I have seen and what I have endured so I would appreciate if you refrain from swearing at me thank you very much.

Secondly, this thread has absolutely nothing to do with abusive relationships, what you have seen and been through is awful, but noone, absolutely noone here has suggested for one minute that someone should choose an abusive relationship over their children. I don't know of one single lady in this forum who would suggest such a thing.

I think you would do well to re-read the OP. This thread is about giving up your life for your children. Not about being beaten up for fear of your husband.

Again, I will reiterate, you have no clue what I have been through, and I would strongly suggest that you think about that before throwing accusations at anyone else who happens not to share the same view.

+100
I was going to post something similar but you said it far better then I could!

I think the women is the article of the OP was horrible to her husband and someone I definitely wouldn't stay married to. For me I accept and will expect that if I get married and have kids my wife will put our kids first most of the time but not ALL the time, I'd expect her to make some time for me!

Boston

Kimia wrote: »

Was reading this today in the daily mail - no jokes please!

Some of this article made sense to me, and others horrified me. Check this one quote out:



Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1263575/Why-Ill-children-husband--destroyed-relationship.html#ixzz0kK42LQWy

Really don't like the sound of sacrificing everything about yourself and your own life for your child. Whatever about putting your husband/children first - what about yourself and your own needs? I'm a bit on the fence. Does anyone have any thoughts?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1263575/Why-Ill-children-husband--destroyed-relationship.html

The woman in the article sounds completely selfish. She admits that often times she's too tired to even talk to him, that every interaction they have in some way revolves around the children. But when the suggest is made that she should devote some effort to her relationship, she reacts like you where asked her to let her kids die. Fair enough if your kids are more important they your partner, but do your kids needs and desires have to always come before your partners.

She lists all the ways in which her first partner became embittered and resentful towards her son. But it was completely of her making. I'm sure he sure would have benefited more from a stable home and a loving father then all her mommying. This is the Irish mother persona gone to the extreme.

Fago!

Would I put my kids livers before my own?

Absofackinglutely! I love them already! I don't even have kidz!!!! It's like the love of a sibling only times 1 trillion!

I would rather throw myself in a pit of rabid boards mods lions then have any harm to my future kids.

Seriously, I don't know any parent that would put their lives in front of their own.! If they do they should be shot by pirates!