Another question for atheists- Death

Quality

So I was at a funeral the other day, and I got to thinking if you were atheist where would your ceremony be held..

I know there is a unitarian church in dublin, but for those of you outside the county where would your service be held.

Have you discussed your wishes with family and friends, And will you be buried or cremated... And why, Is your choice through your beliefs or just your intentions.

Sorry, reading back on this it is a bit morbid, but I am curious.:)

magicbastarder

i'd probably get a christian burial, considering that is the religion of my parents. doesn't bother me much, the funeral is for them, not me.
cremation sounds like the way to go. i don't think my preferred option (being dropped from 20,000 feet, naked and smeared in raw sewage, onto bertie ahern) is practical.

Gregor Samsa

I was talking to someone from the Irish Humanist Association about this (he officiates at Humanist/non religious weddings/naming ceremonies/funerals.) Venues for non-religious funerals are indeed a problem. The crematorium in Glasnevin Cemetery is seemingly popular for it - I think it was a church at one point but isn't any more. The Crematoria in Mount Jerome and Ringaskiddy probably have similar buildings that can be used. I don't know what you'd do in the rest of the country.

He told me, though, of one funeral he did. It was in a hotel in Rocsommon (iirc). While most hotels wouldn't be very open to the notion of having a coffin in the function room, this one was owned by a Dutch guy who was an atheist, and so he was interested in helping out.

Another problem is burial. In Dublin, a lot of the graveyards are run by the local authorities - so anyone can be buried there, but in the rest of the country, most are owned by the Church, who I assume have their own entrance criteria.

I've been to a few humanist wedding ceremonies, and we had our own naming day celebrations for my daughter, but I haven't been to a secular funeral yet. I think one of the problems of them is the short notice. You have months to plan a venue for a wedding or naming ceremony. A funeral is usually done the day after the person dies. When you go to a funeral home, they can sort out a Church funeral for you, but I'd say they wouldn't know where to begin organising a secular one. So I'd say many people take the easy way out.

So, if you really want a secular funeral, get the planning done while you can, coz chances are your family isn't going to do it at short notice.

Dinner

Haven't discussed it. I'm not really to bothered what they do with me. More than likely be a Catholic Funeral, especially if I died anytime soon.

I'd probably prefer to be cremeted, purely becuase it seems a waste to take up all that burial space when it could be put to better use.

MrPudding

I quite fancy being buried in one of the eco graveyards and having a tree planted on me. With respect to a service, I think anywhere will do. I would hope to have one of the Humanist services.

I have talked with my other half about it, so she knows what my wished are. I also have a living will to deal with some other issues, like what to do if I start believing in god and what to do if I am brain dead etc.

MrP

dvpower

I'll be dead by then, so I won't care how I'm disposed of.
Whatever's easiest for my family tbh. If they want to bring my corpse to a church and do a full Christian funeral with all the trimmings that's perfectly OK by me.

PeterIanStaker

I honestly dont care. I'll be comfortably numb.

Quality

Yes, I was in the crematorium as part of the service on Wednesday, I just found it quite religious, Crucifixes and stained glass windows depicting religious people.

Just wondered how this would sit with an atheist.

It is a lovely room, but you are also given only a short slot of say 15 minutes for the service. Perhaps too short for a full service?

fitz0

All I want is a wake. Not the religious kind, the sit around, get drunk and share funny stories kind. After that I'm not much bothered what happens, but ideally I want my body donated to medical science or my organs given to someone who needs them.

Then again, I'll be dead so I won't care.

iUseVi

I won't want a service because I'll be dead. But then the only point of services is for the family and friends. Which will be interesting because my parents will want a Christian thing, whilst my best friends are atheist.

I'd rather my body wasn't taking up space in some cemetery - burn it or dump it at sea or something. Unless the organs can be harvested of course.

Gambler

Have already got a donor card for organs and if there are no organs taken then I have all the paperwork done for my body to go to one of the medical colleges.

Assuming I end up donating some organs the plan is cremation without any ceremony, either way there will be some kind of wake type get together for my friends and family.

krudler

I want to be stuffed and put on the couch posed with my playstation joypad wedged in my hands.

yellowlabrador

In my experience, funeral directors are quite obliging. The atheist funerals I've been to were for non Irish people and they all did their own thing. Some had a wake with the body in their own house, some had a wake in a pub. Most go straight to the graveyard (council) and several friends said a few words. You can also have leeway with the headstone , some have a 'standing stone'. Most got buried in Wicker coffins.
Anything goes as long as you follow the law. I've discussed funerals with my kids and we all know what we each want.

enda1

Gambler wrote: »

Have already got a donor card for organs and if there are no organs taken then I have all the paperwork done for my body to go to one of the medical colleges.

Assuming I end up donating some organs the plan is cremation without any ceremony, either way there will be some kind of wake type get together for my friends and family.

The problem with the card is that it is ultimately not valid in that your next of kin can decide to overrule your decision for some reason. Same regards burial etc. as far as I know.

So perhaps a discussion with your family (along with carrying the card) is the way to go.

For what its worth I think there is now a great opportunity for a secular service to open in a number of places in Ireland. They'd offer all the normal services but in a non-religious and friendlier environment (weddings, funerals, naming etc.)

strobe

Ideally what I want to happen is for my organs to be removed and donated, then for what's left to be cremated and then that thing done where the ashes get turned into a diamond. If I could choose the ceremony it'd be a big party, outdoors if the weather's suitable, with my favourite music on the playlist for the night and a steady supply of MDMA on offer for all in attendance. If I get around to it I'll make those wishes known in my will.

But ultimately I agree with magicbastarder, the funeral is for the people you are survived by, I'll be dead, so whatever they decide is cool with me.

Exile 1798

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Undergod

I guess my family would get a lot of comfort from my getting a Christian burial, so I'd be okay with that. Or more accurately, I wouldn't really be in a position to care.

Ideally though, my passing will be marked with a three-day party culminating in my body being placed on a boat, pushed out to sea, and set alight.

Ickle Magoo

Quality wrote: »

So I was at a funeral the other day, and I got to thinking if you were atheist where would your ceremony be held..

I know there is a unitarian church in dublin, but for those of you outside the county where would your service be held.

Have you discussed your wishes with family and friends, And will you be buried or cremated... And why, Is your choice through your beliefs or just your intentions.

Sorry, reading back on this it is a bit morbid, but I am curious.:)

After any viable organs have been harvested I'm going to be cremated and my ashes scattered over a part of the Scottish coastline that means a great deal to me - my family & friends know, my other-half knows and agrees...I'm from a long line of atheists and agnostics so it's pretty much par for the course in my family. :cool:

goose2005

Gambler wrote: »

Have already got a donor card for organs and if there are no organs taken then I have all the paperwork done for my body to go to one of the medical colleges.

After a year, the cadavers are sewn up and returned to the family

gbee

The crematorium in Ringaskiddy, beautiful spot and the ashes scattered over the harbour.

not that this place is confined to atheists ... but it's a lovely ceremony and more dignified than some churches who rush out the funeral to get a wedding in ...

Fluffybums

Recycle my organs and/or donate the body to research. Anything unused cremate and chuck. I have no children and no partner so I don't want my brother or his two children to have the hassle or expense.
If I pop my clogs before my parents - the remains can be disposed of any way the wish.

yellowlabrador

I've heard that Irish bodies donated to medical science go to Switserland and visa versa. THe reason being that they are both countries with small populations and there is too much chance of a medical student having to disect someone known to them. Also they want people who were healthy.
I'm all for organ donation too but make sure your next of kin agree and know your wishes.

Quality

well personally, i have seen a lot of people benefit from organ donation, I would be 100% pro organ donation...

we had a family dinner tonight, and i have all my family spoken into organ donation....

I think it is up to the donors family rather than the donor itself...

hiorta

I've donated my physical remains to Glasgow University and I suggest that you conact your local Uni first, if you're thinking along these lines.

You may not agree, but 'death' only affects our physical self - we survive the change intact.

Ickle Magoo

hiorta wrote: »

You may not agree, but 'death' only affects our physical self - we survive the change intact.

It's not so much I don't agree, I don't know how anyone can possibly make that claim with any degree of certainty, far less declare it as fact.

hiorta

The claim is based on many years of personal research, general seeking, but I agree the findings and conclusion are entirely subjective, apart from evidence obtained via Mediumistic individuals.

Our world seems to be much larger than it appears.

magicbastarder

Fluffybums wrote: »

Recycle my organs and/or donate the body to research. Anything unused cremate and chuck. I have no children and no partner so I don't want my brother or his two children to have the hassle or expense.
If I pop my clogs before my parents - the remains can be disposed of any way the wish.

you should read stiff by mary roach - a fascinating look into what happens corpses which have been donated to science.

Ickle Magoo

hiorta wrote: »

The claim is based on many years of personal research, general seeking, but I agree the findings and conclusion are entirely subjective, apart from evidence obtained via Mediumistic individuals.

Our world seems to be much larger than it appears.

I'd like to see that "evidence"....

branie

If I were to be cremated, I'd go out with the theme music from the original Star Trek series being played on speakers

hiorta

Ickle Magoo: I'd like to see that "evidence"....

Personal evidence of folk from my life and circumstances would be useless to anyone else. I've had more than ample proof of many folk whom this world regards as being 'dead', while they are very much alive in their own area.

I ask that no one believe a word of it, but the option to search is always there. I began as a total sceptic as it happens - a brainwashed Catholic.

I can say that the point of realising that Life really does continue and some degree of communication is possible is a tremendous, mind-blowing experience.

I apologise if I've side-tracked this thread, it is not my intention to do so. Please delete if necessary.

Undergod

hiorta wrote: »

Our world seems to be much larger than it appears.

Isn't that an oxymoron?

I understand what you meant though.

sonicthebadger*

I was at a Catholic funeral this week. The deceased party was young and his death sudden so I doubt he had a great input into how he wished to be remembered on the day. However his family clearly had a good idea what he'd have liked as they convinced the musicians to play "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life". I don't really know why I'm posting this, I think I'm saying that it was that song that was the most moving of all the songs played. It was the one that best captured his essence... in particular because it was played in a Catholic church. Irreverent, full of life, unstoppably happy. All the other ones were too sanctimonius. The hyms and so on, they're far more about the god than the person we're all really there for.

Anyway, as for my death, I think a wake is the way to go. Back to a proper send off. But that's purely cause I like wakes myself... as in more than the church bit, I don't go around gate crashing wakes! And of course, in the modern world it should be needless to say, carve up the carcass for any bits of meat or bone that might prove useful to someone still living.

Dave!

If my folks are still alive when I die, then let them do what they want -- probably a normal Catholic funeral.

But if I get a say in it when I'm old, etc., then I'll obviously be looking for something without religious mumbo jumbo.

I don't know in particular what I'd want though

jill_valentine

I'd like folks to have a wake, and I'm donating anything useful. My family can have whatever service they want, but going with a point an earlier poster made, I'd like them to play the music I would have liked at least. It's silly, I mean, obviously I won't care by then, but still. I love music, and I can't help hoping that the people around me know how much it means to me, you know?

Other than that, I want to get copper-plated and converted into a nightmarishly obscene public fountain.

tdv123

I'd like to be eaten by a shark or something like that. I wouldnt like my body taking up too much room anywhere.

McChubbin

Ceromony:
No churches, no religious iconogrphy, no hymns, no priests, no zombie worshipping metaphoric cannablism. Just build a gigantic wicker effedgy (sp?) of my likliness, bung my body into it and set it on fire atop the Dublin Moutains. Whilst the bonfire goes on, the wake happens around the burning wicker tower and involves everyone standing in a circle holding hands and singing Monty Python's "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life".

After the 3 day long wake/cremation ceromony, place the ashes into an empty catering-sized jar of Cadbury's Hot Chocolate Powder. Hopefully, by the time I die, there'll be enough money willed to my children to enable them to travel all over the word scattering my ashes in every country.

That's all I could ever ask for, really.

Mackman

I havent realy thought about it, but i dont think id want a christian funeral. But i suppose its more for the family than for me. But what annoys me is that if it is a christian funeral, the priest will be goin on about how good a catholic i was and that im with god blah blah blah.

I do want to donate my body to science though. It seems such a waste to let it rot in the ground or burn it up. Ill donate whatever organs are good first though, then off to the lab

fatmammycat

Cremated, ashes loaded into a blunderbuss, shot into a reiki centre, 'heal this muthafockers' to be yelled.

Other than that on the subject of donor cards, the cards are already signed by next of kin, or they should be. I carry one, so does my other half, if a hospital cannot contact us the card should be enough to fire ahead if there is no hope for our survival. This is something that should be discussed with all members of the family, but there are two signatures on the cards.

Ash.J.Williams

Quality wrote: »

So I was at a funeral the other day, and I got to thinking if you were atheist where would your ceremony be held..

I know there is a unitarian church in dublin, but for those of you outside the county where would your service be held.

Have you discussed your wishes with family and friends, And will you be buried or cremated... And why, Is your choice through your beliefs or just your intentions.

Sorry, reading back on this it is a bit morbid, but I am curious.:)

None of my business really, ill be dead. The family can throw me in a skip or give me the full catholic job.

Andrew33

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, I've seen this on the tv after some atrocity or other in Gaza, the dead person is simply wrapped in a sheet and buried. Is this a religious thing or just lack of a coffin? It seems to make a lot more sense than putting someone in a wooden box before burying them. Why can't we be buried here wrapped in a sheet? My father passed away a few years ago and as he was being cremated we didn't go for an expensive coffin but it still cost a couple of G's for the box!

Dave!

I suspect in Gaza they don't have the funds to hand to be buying coffins for all the people who die there from Israeli bombings, etc.

Better off putting the money towards rebuilding sh*t.

Wacker

Once all my organs are harvested I'm fairly easy-going. One caveat though: I don't want any priest trying to comfort my family by saying that "death is not an end." They all know I'm an atheist, so if the priest is right and death is indeed not an end, I might be in big trouble! Not what they'd need to hear.

I would be happier with a non-religious funeral though; anything that can be done to 'normalise' the secular should be done by default. Does that sentence make any sense at all?

Malari

My latest idea on this is that if I was knocked down by a bus tomorrow I haven't made any plans and my family/partner will dispose of me as they see fit. They know my feelings about religion, and sort of feel the same way, so it's unlikely I'll have some pedrophile I've never met warbling on about what a nice person I was while mispronouncing my name.

If I got sick and knew that death was coming (I really hope this doesn't happen - or at least not for a loooong time!) I suppose I could specify my preferences, or even plan something and take that worry out of my family's hands.

Dades

^^ I was about to post the exact same.

Hit by a bus - whatever people want. But if I have time to think about it - I'll make my own arrangements.

Yes, I'll be dead so why should it matter - but I don't want my last days/weeks thinking I'll be in some pine box with a crucifix and a priest I don't know swishing incense about me whilst mumbling hocus pocus.

Ash.J.Williams

Wacker wrote: »

I don't want any priest trying to comfort my family by saying that "death is not an end."

Yes sometimes preists annoy me at funerals...I'd hate for my family to hear the usual token ****e..."I never met <deceased person> but .........."

Glenster

Dave! wrote: »

I suspect in Gaza they don't have the funds to hand to be buying coffins for all the people who die there from Israeli bombings, etc.

Better off putting the money towards rebuilding sh*t.

You'd think so, but funds dont really seem to be an issue at death time. I spent a while in West Africa and families there spend a shocking amount of money on funerals, novelty coffins, bands, fancy mourning clothes, even when they themselves are on the breadline.

It's a mark of respect to the dead, and it's a very snide western idea that people poorer countries should spend less on these sort of things and more on improving their infrastructure. Not that that's what you were suggesting.

Im Q

Im gonna be cut up into little pieces and fed to my dogs. Or get my mates to dress me up and pour whiskey down my throat, like a little girl if they want. Or hang me from a tree in a really creepy place and let birds peck my eyes out. I really could not care in the slightest, I'll look after my body when im alive and let someone worry about it when i die. Ooh make me into a giant ant farm.

Gerard_Smith

I've made my peace with the fact that when I die I'm getting a Catholic funeral. I tried making my wishes clear to my family but they were having none of it, frankly they couldn't rap their minds around the concept of a funeral without a church.

I don't mind too much really, the funeral is for them, by that point I will be beyond caring. Let them deal with me in what ever way makes them the most comfortable.

caesarthechimp

MrPudding wrote: »

I also have a living will to deal with some other issues, like what to do if I start believing in god and what to do if I am brain dead
MrP

Is this two separate issues or just a fear of general brain meltdown

goose2005 wrote: »

After a year, the cadavers are sewn up and returned to the family

No problem; your family can just write "not known at this address" on the package and send it back.

Andrew33 wrote: »

Not sure if this is the right thread for this, I've seen this on the tv after some atrocity or other in Gaza, the dead person is simply wrapped in a sheet and buried. Is this a religious thing or just lack of a coffin?

I could be wrong, but I think its a muslim thing, burying in a shroud.

vibe666

i'm with Stephen Tyler on this one. i want to be cremated and scattered over Miami beach so that even after i'm dead i'll still be getting in girls pants.

hiorta

A three-year-old boy brought back from the dead after his heart stopped beating for three hours has told how he saw his great-grandmother in Heaven.
The young boy has told of a heavenly experience while being clinically dead
The youngster - Paul - claimed he met his relative and she sent him back to Earth. Paul was playing on his own when he fell into a lake near his grandparents' house in the town of Lychen, north of Berlin, Germany. The child's grandfather later found him lifeless in the water. Paul was quickly dragged to the shore but the youngster remained unconscious.

His father, who had had first aid training in the past, tried to resuscitate his son by giving him mouth to mouth and heart massage. A helicopter took him to Helios hospital in Buch and doctors also tried to resuscitate him but he was unresponsive. They were about to stop because the boy had been clinically dead for three hours and 18 minutes - but then a miracle happened.
The team managed to get his heart beating again, defying the laws of medicine.

The water in the lake was cold and the boy's core temperature was just 28C - it should normally be 37C.If the temperature had been higher, the team would have stopped trying to resuscitate after 40 minutes because the boy would definitely have been brain dead.

Cold temperatures means the metabolism slows so body can survive with little oxygen.
Professor of Paediatrics, Lothar Schweigerer, from the Helios hospital in Buch said "My doctors were close to saying 'we can do no more' after two hours of thorax compression because the chances of survival had gone and the little lad must have been brain dead. But then suddenly his heart started to beat again ... it was a fantastic miracle. I've been doing this job for 30 years and have never seen anything like this. It goes to show the human body is a very resilient organism and you should never give up. The boy is happy and healthy. It's a wonderful thing."
He told daily newspaper Bild: "Paul said to his parents, 'I was with Oma (granny) Emmi in Heaven. She told me to go back really quickly.'"

This comes in a week when "experts" put NDE experiences down to an excess of CO2 in the blood. (Seems that poor old CO2 gets blamed for everything these days !)
But I don't believe a 3-year-old can have picked up any "received wisdom" about NDEs and made up a story based on it.