The Friendzone

Nulty

I'm reading back over Trent and Feeky.

In Feeky's thread Zohan makes mention of the friend zone and how its possible to fall between the cracks with a potential OH.

I was disappointed to see no female posters replied to a question I think needs clarifying.

How can we end up in the friend zone when its the last place we want to be? Obviously female posters are sought here but examples of finding yourself in the friendzone and how you avoid the friendzone are welcomed

Hers the post for any one who missed it:

TheZohan wrote: »

raptorman wrote: »

Quote:
Originally Posted by raptorman View Post
The friend zone doesnt apply in this case. The friend zone crap only applies if she wasnt attracted to him initially.
"I dont want to ruin our friendship" is just code for you don't turn me on.

Nah the "friendzone" is when you had your chance and you didn't take it. Rather than be interested in you as a potential OH you become someone that they turn to for advice on potential OH's.

Any female posters care to comment on the friendzone?

stevoman

Iv been in the friendzone before. Its a dark, dreary place full of what if's? whys? and furious masturbation.

Glenster

stevoman wrote: »

Iv been in the friendzone before. Its a dark, dreary place full of what if's? whys? and masturbation.

That's not the friendzone, that's the dungeon you have in your basement.

WindSock

As Billy Connolly once said 'I don't want a Friend. I want a Slut!' :pac:

bonerm

Very smart man, even if he is a scruffy looking weegee.

And come to think of it has a man ever said "let's still be friends?" after dumping his s/o? I think the problem is men and women have very different definitions on what a "friend" actually is/entails.

Dont be at yourself

In short: treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.

landsleaving

Friendzone sounds like bad reality tv and/or the worlds worst dating site.

funk-you

There's only two ways out of the friend zone:

Seagull...

Or

Man up...

-Funk

Kiera

This doesnt exist.

nucking futs

Friendface FTW

Kasabian

Kiera wrote: »

This doesnt exist.

Correct , either a girl wants you or she doesn't.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Kiera wrote: »

This doesnt exist.

Lies, you know it does...

Gone Drinking

Friendzone is a made up place, that women send ugly men they're not interested in.

Kiera

Saige Panicky Voltage wrote: »

Lies, you know it does...

It doesnt. We either want you or we dont. Simple. Same goes for lads tbh.

NothingMan

I'd say 99% of the time it's one person not being attracted to the other but when I was way younger, about 16/17 I made friends with a girl and we're still really good friends but ended up we did both like each other the sexy way but nothing ever happened (except when she was pissed and I felt it would be wrong to accept her aggressive advances as I wasn't quite as pissed). So about 9 years later she's like a sister and it would be way weird!

So the moral of the story, do her before she's your sister?

Bonito

It doesn't exist. Lads are just more forward with their approach. It's either yay or nay. We all know most women take time making up their mind. That + past experience of complete dícks giving girls a hard time they have their head screwed on right if they're taking their time making a decision. If you're genuinely interested in her you wont complain, you'll STFU and give her time 'til she warms to you.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Kiera wrote: »

It doesnt. We either want you or we dont. Simple. Same goes for lads tbh.

But that's the friend zone... that fracking place you get stuck in when you are trying to stick your thing in something else... "But it would ruin our freindship", and i thought she would be more worried about ruining the sofa :P

landsleaving

NothingMan wrote: »

So the moral of the story, do her before she's your sister?

Said Josef to the children.

Nulty

Kiera wrote: »

This doesnt exist.

Well then when a girl says to a guy

"I dont want to ruin our friendship" or otherwise says "Your like my best friend"

Basically, Your ugly?

Kiera

Nulty wrote: »

Well then when a girl says to a guy

"I dont want to ruin our friendship" or otherwise says "Your like my best friend"

Basically, Your ugly?

Not all girls lie, ya know. If i was to say that i would mean exactly that.

oneintotwo

Kiera wrote: »

It doesnt. We either want you or we dont. Simple. Same goes for lads tbh.

Yeah but whether or not you want us depends on the attitude we approach you with. If it's not an attitude of confidence, and we hide our feelings, you probably won't want us, while we continue wanting you.

And by we I mean me. Hey baybey

Bonito

Nulty wrote: »

Well then when a girl says to a guy

"I dont want to ruin our friendship" or otherwise says "Your like my best friend"

Basically, Your ugly?

Or, maybe, she has her eye on someone else?

Nulty

Kiera wrote: »

Not all girls lie, ya know. If i was to say that i would mean exactly that.

So your saying it does exist?

Or are you saying, yes I don't want to ruin our friendship, but thats not why I don't want go out with you....its because your ugly

beanyb

Nulty wrote: »

Well then when a girl says to a guy

"I dont want to ruin our friendship" or otherwise says "Your like my best friend"

Basically, Your ugly?

It doesnt necessarily mean you're ugly. But it definitely means they dont fancy you. Those two can go together regularly, but not always. It's quite possible to not fancy someone who may generally be quite attractive!

jenga-jen

Let's be honest, if you both like each other in the sexeh way neither of you will care about ruining the friendship.

'I don't want to ruin our friendship' is just 'it's not you, it's me' but much earlier on in proceedings.

One of you is just not that into the other.

Kiera

Nulty wrote: »

So your saying it does exist?

Or are you saying, yes I don't want to ruin our friendship, but thats not why I don't want go out with you....its because your ugly

No it doesnt. For example: My best mate for the last 25 yrs is a guy. If he turned around and said he wanted me (he never would) i wouldnt go there becuase i would be afraid it would ruin what we have. He's not ugly, far from it.

yermandan

Ugh it's a lonely, harsh existence. It can happen before and after a relationship too.

Before, if s/he cant decide whether you are a right match for him/her (in which case the indecision is a pretty good indicator of the fact that deep down they think you are not!) but s/he likes hanging out with you.

After, if s/he doesn't have the balls to break contact with you and tries the 'friend' excuse instead of just leaving it be so you can both move on!!!

Nulty

Kiera wrote: »

No it doesnt. For example: My best mate for the last 25 yrs is a guy. If he turned around and said he wanted me (he never would) i wouldnt go there becuase i would be afraid it would ruin what we have. He's not ugly, far from it.

25yr friendship surely doesn't come under the radar of The Friendzone. It's normally within a year or so this happens. Read the post about doing it before they become your sister

Bonito

Nulty wrote: »

25yr friendship surely doesn't come under the radar of The Friendzone. It's normally within a year or so this happens. Read the post about doing it before they become your sister

That's the kicker. She's saying they've been friends from day 1. It wasn't as if one fancied the other and then the feeling wasn't mutual so one ends up in the friend zone for the last 25 years. :pac:

Kiera

Nulty wrote: »

25yr friendship surely doesn't come under the radar of The Friendzone. It's normally within a year or so this happens. Read the post about doing it before they become your sister

Ok so other guys that i'm mates with.....If i was really good mates with them i wouldnt want to ruin that. That is still not to say i think they are ugly. It just means i want to keep them in my life forever... This is not something i want to do with a guy i'm with.

dsmythy

Kiera wrote: »

Ok so other guys that i'm mates with.....If i was really good mates with them i wouldnt want to ruin that. That is still not to say i think they are ugly. It just means i want to keep them in my life forever... This is not something i want to do with a guy i'm with.

You hoarding men in the dungeon Kiera?

dsmythy

The friendzone only exists when the man pretends to be someone's friend in the hope she will change her mind about him. The way out of the friendzone 95% of the time is to simply not be their friend.

Kiera

dsmythy wrote: »

You hoarding men in the dungeon Kiera?

I like to call it the "bold" room

yermandan

dsmythy wrote: »

The friendzone only exists when the man pretends to be someone's friend in the hope she will change her mind about him. The way out of the friendzone 95% of the time is to simply not be their friend.

QFT, but i'd say it can apply to both sexes, but I agree it is probably more often the man

Nulty

I can see your point alright....

before we become friends, wanna go on a romantic date Kiera?

Kiera

Nulty wrote: »

I can see your point alright....

before we become friends, wanna go on a romantic date Kiera?

Haha, smooooth!

Nulty

It's cause I'm ugly, isn't it!:(

Kiera

Nulty wrote: »

It's cause I'm ugly, isn't it!:(

I didnt say no

Nulty

Ok so Kiera is one girl, we need someother chick to come in here and say

Yes! There is a friendzone! And thats where I put all the uglys!

(1234 posts - I like numbers)

Kiera

Nulty wrote: »

Ok so Kiera is one girl, we need someother chick to come in here and say

Yes! There is a friendzone! And thats where I put all the uglys!

(1234 posts - I like numbers)

Yeah but i'm seeing someone so i'd have to leave you as a mate for now :P

Bonito

Nulty wrote: »

Ok so Kiera is one girl, we need someother chick to come in here and say

Yes! There is a friendzone! And thats where I put all the uglys!

(1234 posts - I like numbers)

IBTSUTWTTSDS
(In Before The Stuck Up Tramps Who Think Their Shít Doesn't Stink) :pac:

bazmaiden

Nulty wrote: »

Ok so Kiera is one girl, we need someother chick to come in here and say

Yes! There is a friendzone! And thats where I put all the uglys!

(1234 posts - I like numbers)

ye we need more female perspectives on this

Nulty

Kiera wrote: »

Yeah but i'm seeing someone so i'd have to leave you as a mate for now :P

Nexties!

TheZohanS

Kiera wrote: »

It doesnt. We either want you or we dont. Simple. Same goes for lads tbh.

Did you ever see a guy and thought "I'd like a bit of him" then when you start talking you find him less and less attractive?

Kiera

Bonito wrote: »

IBTSUTWTTSDS
(In Before The Stuck Up Tramps Who Think Their Shít Doesn't Stink) :pac:

:eek: There are none of them in AH!

Bonito

TheZohan wrote: »

Did you ever see a guy and thought "I'd like a bit of him" then when you start talking you find him less and less attractive?

Vice versa basically looking at a girl from a D4 area that isn't an oompa loompa and thinking "By jaysus I'd rattle her cage" and then she opens her mouth and you die a little inside?:(

Kiera

TheZohan wrote: »

Did you ever see a guy and thought "I'd like a bit of him" then when you start talking you find him less and less attractive?

Ah! That's what it means? Yes, yes i have. But i wouldnt be friends with him if i didnt think he was sound, so i'd just walk away.

bently

Kiera wrote: »

Not all girls lie, ya know. If i was to say that i would mean exactly that.

hahahahahahaha....... its in there genectic code

Kiera

bently wrote: »

hahahahahahaha....... its in there genectic code

You dont know any girls, do you? I say it like it is. I'm not one of those "nothing" girls.

TheZohanS

Kiera wrote: »

Ah! That's what it means? Yes, yes i have. But i wouldnt be friends with him if i didnt think he was sound, so i'd just walk away.

Not exactly what I mean but it is an example of how you might fancy someone and through their own actions you can easily become less attacted to them.

Nice guys finish last, but a good guy with a bit of backbone will get the girl.

Little Acorn

ha ha, thread reminds me of this episode of scrubs.
"My Best Friend's mistake"

Clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEJUmH_qL_E
(about 1 minute in)