Meeting people in non-pub/club enviroments

My name is URL

Have you ever had any luck picking someone up in a place other than when you're out at a pub/club/party?

I was walking the dog along the beach and there was this fine looking girl out walking too. I passed her and said hello and just kept on walking.. I was contemplating whether or not I should try to spark up a conversation with her passing on the way back but ended up just saying hello again.

Have you ever tried chatting someone up in that kind of situation? I don't think I'd have the balls tbh.. I mean what do you say? "lovely day for it, wanna have sex"..?

IamtheWalrus

"Can I ride your dog?"

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

WindSock

Heaps o women seem to do lots of extra curricular activities such as volunteer work and evening courses, and heaps o men don't. Seems like there's plenty ripe for the picking around.

bazmaiden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKgurjb8TCs

Hank_Jones

My name is URL wrote: »

"lovely day for it, wanna have sex"..?

I know somebody who said that, he's now serving seven to ten months...

I haven't actually chatted anyone up outside of a pub/club/party enviroment.
Honestly don't know why, possibly something to do with our mentality, needing dutch courage or something.

Fast forward to 3:45

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSu6hFkdIdQ

alwaysadub

No,i'd probably either think someone was takin the piss or they were locked/stoned/wierd if they did approach me like that.

Yet, i'd probably be kicking myself afterwards for letting them go!

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

My name is URL

It's mad though.. think of all the missed oppurtunities. In other countries people do meet in places other than when out on the piss. I'm sure it happens here too, but it's rare

Lia_lia

Yeah, at school.

Abrasax

I don't drink so don't have the luxury of chatting up ladies when they're plastered out of their heads.
Chatting up cute waitresses is one of my favourites. Your'e engaging with each other anyway so it's easy to build up on any positve feedback.
Bookstores is another one. If I there's a hottie in the same section, I'll make some recommendation, get chatting about books and see if anything sparks.
Night classes too, as previously recommded.
But there has to be some point of common interest. I couldn't just approach a girl and start chatting out of the blue.

alwaysadub

Iolar wrote: »

I guess that puts pay to me pming u again lolz :P

cafecolour

Sure. You gave her two opportunities for her to express interest - which she could've done easily by saying "what a lovely dog" and stopping to pet him/her. She didn't do this, so she was either not that forward or not that interested.

In general though, walking is the worst opportunity for 'meeting someone' (unless you're in one of those gay cruising parks i guess). For the obvious reason that it's by nature a very momentary encounter, and any attempt to prolong (talking, following, etc.) can come off anywhere from very forward to stalker-esque.

Ideally you want an environment where you are naturally situated near a person of interest, not forcing the proximity.

Bonito

alwaysadub wrote: »

No,i'd probably either think someone was takin the piss or they were locked/stoned/wierd if they did approach me like that.

Yet, i'd probably be kicking myself afterwards for letting them go!

Does doing it over boards.ie count

alwaysadub

Bonito wrote: »

Does doing it over boards.ie count

hehehehe, you said doing it

Well if it does count,you're a master of it by now :pac:

Bonito

alwaysadub wrote: »

hehehehe, you said doing it

Well if it does count,you're a master of it by now :pac:

A master eh? So does that mean I can use the "You. Here. Now. Cacks* down." line and anyone will come running to me? :pac:


*If they're in a skirt down changes to up. Simple logic people. :cool:

Kiera

alwaysadub wrote: »

hehehehe, you said doing it

Well if it does count,you're a master of it by now :pac:

Bonito wrote: »

A master eh? So does that mean I can use the "You. Here. Now. Cacks* down." line and anyone will come running to me? :pac:


*If they're in a skirt down changes to up. Simple logic people. :cool:

There you go Urly, use boards to meet the love of your life/get your leg over

bazmaiden

Kiera wrote: »

There you go Urly, use boards to meet the love of your life/get your leg over

brilliant;)

My name is URL

Kiera wrote: »

There you go Urly, use boards to meet the love of your life/get your leg over

Would that mean flirting in threads? Coz I'd rather celibacy tbh

alwaysadub

Bonito wrote: »

A master eh? So does that mean I can use the "You. Here. Now. Cacks* down." line and anyone will come running to me? :pac:


*If they're in a skirt down changes to up. Simple logic people. :cool:

It does indeed. Go forth and try it out on the next nice woman you come across.


*i take no responsability for any injuries you may incur..

Kiera

My name is URL wrote: »

Would that mean flirting in threads? Coz I'd rather celibacy tbh

Haha the words "eat my own shít" just sprung to mind reading your post

Bonito

My name is URL wrote: »

Would that mean flirting in threads? Coz I'd rather celibacy tbh

I think priests are hawt

mikom

My name is URL wrote: »

Have you ever tried chatting someone up in that kind of situation? I don't think I'd have the balls tbh..

Well, if you're without balls, it's kinda pointless really.

Bonito

mikom wrote: »

Well, if you're without balls, it's kinda pointless really.

Rugby, football, tennis, cricket, golf, GAA, hurling, handball, squash, table tennis and pin ball tournaments are all going on my list so :cool:

alwaysadub

Bonito wrote: »

I think priests are hawt

Good god man,you'll chase after anything won't ya :eek:

thebman

alwaysadub wrote: »

Good god man,you'll chase after anything won't ya :eek:

Wouldn't have to. In Ireland, priests chase after you! :eek:

Fago!

Bonito wrote: »

Does doing it over boards.ie count

alwaysadub wrote: »

hehehehe, you said doing it

Heh heh heh :cool:

Paco Rodriguez

A language evening course! I mean they even get you ask the basics as part of it, Are you married, whats your number, etc.

(although it is a bit much work for a date)

bazmaiden

Aren't there studies to suggest that meeting people in supermarkets in pretty popular?

Dr_Phil

My name is URL wrote: »

Have you ever had any luck picking someone up in a place other than when you're out at a pub/club/party?

I was walking the dog along the beach and there was this fine looking girl out walking too. I passed her and said hello and just kept on walking.. I was contemplating whether or not I should try to spark up a conversation with her passing on the way back but ended up just saying hello again.

Have you ever tried chatting someone up in that kind of situation? I don't think I'd have the balls tbh.. I mean what do you say? "lovely day for it, wanna have sex"..?

Well I think it's actually the best way. I met my wife when we were both doing IT studies, as I was quite good in IT she asked if she can drop in, so that she can better understand DOS catalogue structures... lesson went well, she stayed overnight and it's been over 13 years since
In fairness I'm not a huge fan of these plastic, drunk relationships from pubs, clubs, etc. "How are you, where are you from, can I get you a drink, etc" so fecking boring standard I am sick of.

Lux23

My name is URL wrote: »

Would that mean flirting in threads? Coz I'd rather celibacy tbh

That is kind of cringy when people do that.

Bonito

Peps wrote: »

Been wondering how to do this myself also. I'm not much of the going-out type or into alcohol that much. And currently, I've little to no friends to hang out with. So been thinking of trying to find ways to meet "like-minded" people (especially female of course), and have no idea on how to go about it.

Was thinking of having random walks to the library, or joining the gym. But unfortunately, this being Athlone, I can't see that working well in the least. :P Odds of finding a girl between 18-20, who's not into the drinking culture, is single, and also into finding "like-minded people", is very, very, very low. :P

Try The Ladies Lounge they have a whole thread for it

xsiborg

Peps wrote: »

Trying to understand how on earth guys pick up girls outside of clubs.

... usually with their arms! :P boom boom

Darlughda

Abrasax wrote: »

Bookstores is another one. If I there's a hottie in the same section, I'll make some recommendation, get chatting about books and see if anything sparks.
[QUOTE\]

I'm honestly not sure why, but I would find this sleazy.
I spend a lot of time in bookshops and there is something kind of private about it, and I would find it a bit off putting to approach someone or be approached myself.

Having said that, if a guy was brave enough to come up to me in Tescos or Dunnes and suggested having coffee, I would be so impressed by his courage that would be impossible to resist!

wireless101

Peps wrote: »

Been wondering how to do this myself also. I'm not much of the going-out type or into alcohol that much. And currently, I've little to no friends to hang out with. So been thinking of trying to find ways to meet "like-minded" people (especially female of course), and have no idea on how to go about it.

Was thinking of having random walks to the library, or joining the gym. But unfortunately, this being Athlone, I can't see that working well in the least. :P Odds of finding a girl between 18-20, who's not into the drinking culture, is single, and also into finding "like-minded people", is very, very, very low. :P

I presume you're not in college?

orourkeda

Brothels and lap Dancing clubs.

Plenty of expensive snatch

Berti Vogts

Here's an old Charlie Brooker article regarding his hatred for nightclubs which I completely agree with - surely there are better alternatives?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2007/aug/13/fashion.comment?showallcomments=true#comment-51

I went to a fashionable London nightclub on Saturday. Not the sort of sentence I get to write very often, because I enjoy nightclubs less than I enjoy eating wool. But a glamorous friend of mine was there to "do a PA", and she'd invited me and some curious friends along because we wanted to see precisely what "doing a PA" consists of. Turns out doing a public appearance largely entails sitting around drinking free champagne and generally just "being there".

Obviously, at 36, I was more than a decade older than almost everyone else, and subsequently may as well have been smeared head to toe with pus. People regarded me with a combination of pity and disgust. To complete the circuit, I spent the night wearing the expression of a man waking up to Christmas in a prison cell.

"I'm too old to enjoy this," I thought. And then remembered I've always felt this way about clubs. And I mean all clubs - from the cheesiest downmarket sickbucket to the coolest cutting-edge hark-at-us poncehole. I hated them when I was 19 and I hate them today. I just don't have to pretend any more.

I'm convinced no one actually likes clubs. It's a conspiracy. We've been told they're cool and fun; that only "saddoes" dislike them. And no one in our pathetic little pre-apocalyptic timebubble wants to be labelled "sad" - it's like being officially declared worthless by the state. So we muster a grin and go out on the town in our millions.

Clubs are despicable. Cramped, overpriced furnaces with sticky walls and the latest idiot theme tunes thumping through the humid air so loud you can't hold a conversation, just bellow inanities at megaphone-level. And since the smoking ban, the masking aroma of cigarette smoke has been replaced by the overbearing stench of crotch sweat and hair wax.

Clubs are such insufferable dungeons of misery, the inmates have to take mood-altering substances to make their ordeal seem halfway tolerable. This leads them to believe they "enjoy" clubbing. They don't. No one does. They just enjoy drugs.

Drugs render location meaningless. Neck enough ketamine and you could have the best night of your life squatting in a shed rolling corks across the floor. And no one's going to search you on the way in. Why bother with clubs?

"Because you might get a shag," is the usual response. Really? If that's the only way you can find a partner - preening and jigging about like a desperate animal - you shouldn't be attempting to breed in the first place. What's your next trick? Inventing fire? People like you are going to spin civilisation into reverse. You're a moron, and so is that haircut you're trying to impress. Any offspring you eventually blast out should be drowned in a pan before they can do any harm. Or open any more nightclubs.

Even if you somehow avoid reproducing, isn't it a lot of hard work for very little reward? Seven hours hopping about in a hellish, reverberating bunker in exchange for sharing 64 febrile, panting pelvic thrusts with someone who'll snore and dribble into your pillow till 11 o'clock in the morning, before waking up beside you with their hair in a mess, blinking like a dizzy cat and smelling vaguely like a ham baguette? Really, why bother? Why not just stay at home punching yourself in the face? Invite a few friends round and make a night of it. It'll be more fun than a club.

Anyway, back to Saturday night, and apart from the age gap, two other things stuck me. Firstly, everyone had clearly spent far too long perfecting their appearance. I used to feel intimidated by people like this; now I see them as walking insecurity beacons, slaves to the perceived judgment of others, trapped within a self- perpetuating circle of crushing status anxiety. I'd still secretly like to be them, of course, but at least these days I can temporarily erect a veneer of defensive, sneering superiority. I've progressed that far.

The second thing that struck me was frightening. They were all photographing themselves. In fact, that's all they seemed to be doing. Standing around in expensive clothes, snapping away with phones and cameras. One pose after another, as though they needed to prove their own existence, right there, in the moment. Crucially, this seemed to be the reason they were there in the first place. There was very little dancing. Just pouting and flashbulbs.

Surely this is a new development. Clubs have always been vapid and awful and boring and blah - but I can't remember clubbers documenting their every moment before. Not to this demented extent. It's not enough to pretend you're having fun in the club any more - you've got to pretend you're having fun in your Flickr gallery, and your friends' Flickr galleries. An unending exhibition in which a million terrified, try-too-hard imbeciles attempt to out-cool each other.

Mind you, since in about 20 years' time these same people will be standing waist-deep in skeletons, in an arid post-nuclear wasteland, clubbing each other to death in a fight for the last remaining glass of water, perhaps they're wise to enjoy these carefree moments while they last. Even if they're only pretending.

The Pontiac

Yes, all those missed opportunities. There's a stunner working in KFC atm, and I just don't have the balls to ask her out. I don't even particularly like KFC food (only the odd time), but jesus christ she's unreal and got a smile to die for.. hence, I'm eating too much of KFC crap lately. :rolleyes: She could easily be 'attached', but then again maybe not. If I met her in a different environment, like a pub or something, it would be a hell of a lot easier to spark up a conversation. But she's a foreigner and you don't tend to see them in the pubs much these days.

OutlawPete

<Ollie> wrote: »

Yes, all those missed opportunities. There's a stunner working in KFC atm, and I just don't have the balls to ask her out. I don't even particularly like KFC food (only the odd time), but jesus christ she's unreal and got a smile to die for.. hence, I'm eating too much of KFC crap lately. :rolleyes: She could easily be 'attached', but then again maybe not. If I met her in a different environment, like a pub or something, it would be a hell of a lot easier to spark up a conversation. But she's a foreigner and you don't tend to see them in the pubs much these days.

Start choking on a chicken bone when she's walking past Ollie, let her save your life, she has to love ya then, tis the law .. :cool:

The florence nightingale effect, sorta ..

Hank_Jones

OutlawPete wrote: »

Start choking on a chicken bone when she's walking past Ollie, let her save your life, she has to love ya then, tis the law .. :cool:

The florence nightingale effect, sorta ..

Only problem with that is Ollie could possibly die.
I'm not saying the girl isn't nice, but that might be going a bit overboard.

I can just picture her now standing around flailing her arms and not knowing what to do as Ollie thinks...Damn you Pete...

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Done it before and i'd do it again. I mostly meet women in pubs clubs though, which is meh....

The Pontiac

OutlawPete wrote: »

Start choking on a chicken bone when she's walking past Ollie, let her save your life, she has to love ya then, tis the law .. :cool:

The florence nightingale effect, sorta ..

Cheer for the advice Pete. I'll try that tomorrow if she's working. If I don't post here in the next few days, then the plan didn't go accordingly and I actually choked to death.

Hank_Jones wrote: »

Only problem with that is Ollie could possibly die.
I'm not saying the girl isn't nice, but that might be going a bit overboard.

I can just picture her now standing around flailing her arms and not knowing what to do as Ollie thinks...Damn you Pete...

She's worth dying for Hank, and I'll take my chances.

Davidius

Meeting women outside of pubs/clubs/all that bollox only really works if you're handsome.

True story, read it on Wikipedia.

Fago!

Yeah people are on about meeting people in non-night out situations. That only ever works for good looking people.

Darlughda

Davidius wrote: »

Meeting women outside of pubs/clubs/all that bollox only really works if you're handsome.

.

Not true. A man's charcter comes out in his own personal style of dress, how he holds himself and how he speaks. An overweight guy who would be considered ugly can have grace, self-esteem and manners. THAT is the dynamite mix.

Davidius

I sure hope people don't take my clothes or how well-spoken I am as indicators of my personality. That would be horrible.

Abrasax

Darlughda wrote: »

I'm honestly not sure why, but I would find this sleazy.
I spend a lot of time in bookshops and there is something kind of private about it, and I would find it a bit off putting to approach someone or be approached myself.

Having said that, if a guy was brave enough to come up to me in Tescos or Dunnes and suggested having coffee, I would be so impressed by his courage that would be impossible to resist!

Ok, so.
Bookstores bad, foodstores good.
I'll remember that for future reference.

D

Yeah. I've hopped off a bus to chat up a girl (got her number). I've also gotten a few numbers when out walking.

JONJO THE MISER

I met my ex in the Tesco Value section of said supermarket, that should of been a warning to me cause she was well past her sell by date.

kingtut

I have never asked a girl out in a pub / club and don't intend on doing it (I'll kiss them no problem lol). Anytime I ask someone out it is in a setting where I can be sure they are 100% sober.

It takes more balls doing it sober plus the girl knows I am 100% serious, plus they are less likely to be guarded by a ton of female friends.

I also don't want to ask a girl who has been drinking out because I can't take her answer seriously! I'm assuming girls think the same when a drunk guy approaches them.

Agricola

It depends on the woman obviously but I think alot of Irish girls would be abit freaked out by a total stranger coming onto them in a non pub / club setting. If i was in Xtravision and saw a girl with a big tub of Hagen-Daz and copy of some weepy chick-flick, my first thought wouldnt be, "ill just head over there and ask her for film recommendations!"
It might work, but it'd be long odds id say!