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People's opinions of non-alcohol drinkers
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26-03-2010 6:53pm#1
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I'm drinking a tall glass of shut the fxck up!cantdecide wrote: »When i get the dreaded "errr....what are you drinking?", I just tell them 'Oh, I'm driving tonight'.
On the rocks, with lemon.
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I respect all people so I have no problem at all with non drinker (why would/could I? )
Anyway, I recently had a bad, bad exp when I got too drunk so I am thinking of laying off the drink for a while now and see what happens (I may even stay off it for life)
I've only been drinking two years but I've had many a bad/embarassing or just depressing night because of alcohol, and the morning after, well, that's another story
I just wouldn't like it if someone didn't drink just so they could try and make a statement or take a moral high ground (acting better than someone because they don't drink etc), imo that's just stupid
In my group of friends I know if I stop drinking I will get so many slags =[0 -
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up the town wrote: »Totally know how you feel mate.
the strangest was a few weeks back when i was out on a date, this girl had a **** attack when i told her i didnt drink.
That was her sole reason for not wanting to see me again.
Her loss
had that reaction from a girl I was out with once. I listened to her go on and on about blokes who drank then treated her bad and then I said I didn't drink and to that she said that she cant trust non drinkers. :eek:
In my own humble opinion most drinkers don't trust non drinkers because they may feel that they can be taken advantage off. Then again when I was out on the town I was always weary of going home with drunk girls and would often just give them my number rather than have to face the next morning of " who are you?"
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Floppybits wrote: »had that reaction from a girl I was out with once. I listened to her go on and on about blokes who drank then treated her bad and then I said I didn't drink and to that she said that she cant trust non drinkers. :eek:
In my own humble opinion most drinkers don't trust non drinkers because they may feel that they can be taken advantage off. Then again when I was out on the town I was always weary of going home with drunk girls and would often just give them my number rather than have to face the next morning of " who are you?"
Sad fecking state of affairs isn't it? Judging a person to be untrustworthy because they choose not to ply themselves with drinks that make them irresponsible and incoherent and have a terrible effect on their bodies. As frustrating as it is, Ye're better off without these people, they will only want to drag you down to their level. Any person who doesn't like you enough as a person to deal with you sober aint worth knowing. It may not feel like it, but it is their loss.0 -
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Surferdude,
Thats the best post I saw in a long time. I'm just in a chipper now getting my chips after a few soft drinks. I could write a book on the things I see out and the things people say to me when I say I don't drink. I was chatting up a girl a few weeks ago in a club, when I said I didn't drink (she noticed I had a soft drink, as I try not to make a deal about not drinking) she asked have I drink problem!! Bloody crazy. Typical ignorant question you would only get asked in Ireland. Right I'm going to eat these chips; god I love not drinking 0 -
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Ah, this sort of topic is always one which interests me. Apologies if the following turns into a long winded rant.
Don't drink. Never have, never will. At 23, I just have never seen the point of alcohol and dispise the effects it not only has on the Irish individual but also how our entire society seemingly revolves around it. Sadly (and perhaps pathetically), I find I've lost contact with most of my friends over the years due to the fact I am a non-drinker who decided to focus on getting a decent education and doing something with myself rather than dedicating most of my resources to going boozing. I know there's a lot of jealousy there over the fact I've done quite well in college. I also know that several friends turned on me because I was the "parental friendly" friend who they all wanted their kids to be like. I know that sounds egotistical and I don't mean it to be that way; I just know that several of my former friends turned on me because their parents were constantly holding me up as some shining example of brilliance and wanted their kids to be like me.
It wasn't too bad as a teen in secondary school. I had two other friends who were nondrinkers as well and we stuck together. When we went on a skiing trip in TY where 47 people were getting drunk every night, the three of us were able to make our own entertainment and we had an amazing time.
Then towards the end of sixth year, things really turned south. One of the two when he went off to college started, according to stories I've heard over the years, going down a really bad path, regularly getting drunk and apparently also starting up drugs. The other apparently doesn't drink still, but does hang out with a group who do and we simply drifted apart when we went to different colleges. However the main problems came with other people I used to hang out with.
We were a group of about 10 people back in school and were a diverse enough bunch. Many of us only talked since we were friends of friends, abut problems started to fester towards the end of sixth year. I really found out when tickets went on sale for the Grad. I had no intentions of going; the things always turned into drunken brawls and I had heard absolutle horror stories over the years. They were for the innercity chavs, not the likes of me. Still, it was my personal decision and I didn't force my belief on anyone else. Still, I apparently had more pull within the group than I realised cause when I sadi I wasn't going, so did half the group. The real problem came though in the bitterness this left in the other half of the group. I actually had one friend who started speaking really badly about me behind my back; I overheard a conversation one day between him and a girl I really liked (and I mean REALLY liked <_<). He knew how I felt but he was absolutly ripping into me in the conversation, telling her I was a manipulative ***** who was trying to ruin everyone's fun, and how horrible and boring I was. Really annoyed and upset me. I had never even talked about the grad to people other than to say I wasn't going and that was only cause I was asked about if I was or not. Years later, I still hear stories of how he never misses an opportunity to run be down because I'm a non-drinker and choose not to go out getting sloshed most nights.
There was more bitterness when a few months later, one of the gang invited me to his birthday. We had never been close but I still said yes. At the very least, it was a chance to catch up with other friends after we had all gone to different colleges. A few minutes after the invite though, I get another phonecall. Apparently some of the group thought it would be hilarious to spike my drinks and get me piss eyed drunk. Even apart from the fact I'd have noticed they were laced with alcohol, this really annoyed me, since it was a blatent show of disrespect and I hated some of the people for trying to trick me.
I think that's what really gets to me though. If you don't drink, people treat you like some monster. They refuse to be respectful to your decisions or let you live how you want to live. I don't know if it's that they feel that nondrinkers think they are better than everyone else so want to bring them down a peg or two. For my part, I never rubbed my choices in the faces of others. I never bragged or thought myself better. The thoughts were all on their end, yet I recieve the blame and the abuse for it. I was left with most of them not just losing contact with me (which I could understand since they obviously want to do one thing and I want another; as people grow older, differences divide and people move on) but actually seemingly with most of them hating my guts for some reason. I hated that and I feel so guilty over it as well. Which is stupid, I know.
What's worse, I hate that even today, I still find that my choices affect me and can really destroy my confidence. Case and point, there was a girl this year at college. I liked her and she really liked me, based on the signals I was picking up. But she always was talking about how drunk she got at the weekend and how she loved drinking. And cause of years of the above attitude towards me as a non-drinker, i had zero confidence to ask her out. I was afraid....I am afraid that I will be too boring for her or most of the girls in Ireland.
I have pretty much no friends. I can't ask out the girl of my dreams. And my confidence is pretty much nil. The joys of being a non-drinker in Ireland.
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Teamshadowclan wrote: »Ah, this sort of topic is always one which interests me. Apologies if the following turns into a long winded rant.
Don't drink. Never have, never will. At 23, I just have never seen the point of alcohol and dispise the effects it not only has on the Irish individual but also how our entire society seemingly revolves around it. Sadly (and perhaps pathetically), I find I've lost contact with most of my friends over the years due to the fact I am a non-drinker who decided to focus on getting a decent education and doing something with myself rather than dedicating most of my resources to going boozing. I know there's a lot of jealousy there over the fact I've done quite well in college. I also know that several friends turned on me because I was the "parental friendly" friend who they all wanted their kids to be like. I know that sounds egotistical and I don't mean it to be that way; I just know that several of my former friends turned on me because their parents were constantly holding me up as some shining example of brilliance and wanted their kids to be like me.
It wasn't too bad as a teen in secondary school. I had two other friends who were nondrinkers as well and we stuck together. When we went on a skiing trip in TY where 47 people were getting drunk every night, the three of us were able to make our own entertainment and we had an amazing time.
Then towards the end of sixth year, things really turned south. One of the two when he went off to college started, according to stories I've heard over the years, going down a really bad path, regularly getting drunk and apparently also starting up drugs. The other apparently doesn't drink still, but does hang out with a group who do and we simply drifted apart when we went to different colleges. However the main problems came with other people I used to hang out with.
We were a group of about 10 people back in school and were a diverse enough bunch. Many of us only talked since we were friends of friends, abut problems started to fester towards the end of sixth year. I really found out when tickets went on sale for the Grad. I had no intentions of going; the things always turned into drunken brawls and I had heard absolutle horror stories over the years. They were for the innercity chavs, not the likes of me. Still, it was my personal decision and I didn't force my belief on anyone else. Still, I apparently had more pull within the group than I realised cause when I sadi I wasn't going, so did half the group. The real problem came though in the bitterness this left in the other half of the group. I actually had one friend who started speaking really badly about me behind my back; I overheard a conversation one day between him and a girl I really liked (and I mean REALLY liked <_<). He knew how I felt but he was absolutly ripping into me in the conversation, telling her I was a manipulative ***** who was trying to ruin everyone's fun, and how horrible and boring I was. Really annoyed and upset me. I had never even talked about the grad to people other than to say I wasn't going and that was only cause I was asked about if I was or not. Years later, I still hear stories of how he never misses an opportunity to run be down because I'm a non-drinker and choose not to go out getting sloshed most nights.
There was more bitterness when a few months later, one of the gang invited me to his birthday. We had never been close but I still said yes. At the very least, it was a chance to catch up with other friends after we had all gone to different colleges. A few minutes after the invite though, I get another phonecall. Apparently some of the group thought it would be hilarious to spike my drinks and get me piss eyed drunk. Even apart from the fact I'd have noticed they were laced with alcohol, this really annoyed me, since it was a blatent show of disrespect and I hated some of the people for trying to trick me.
I think that's what really gets to me though. If you don't drink, people treat you like some monster. They refuse to be respectful to your decisions or let you live how you want to live. I don't know if it's that they feel that nondrinkers think they are better than everyone else so want to bring them down a peg or two. For my part, I never rubbed my choices in the faces of others. I never bragged or thought myself better. The thoughts were all on their end, yet I recieve the blame and the abuse for it. I was left with most of them not just losing contact with me (which I could understand since they obviously want to do one thing and I want another; as people grow older, differences divide and people move on) but actually seemingly with most of them hating my guts for some reason. I hated that and I feel so guilty over it as well. Which is stupid, I know.
What's worse, I hate that even today, I still find that my choices affect me and can really destroy my confidence. Case and point, there was a girl this year at college. I liked her and she really liked me, based on the signals I was picking up. But she always was talking about how drunk she got at the weekend and how she loved drinking. And cause of years of the above attitude towards me as a non-drinker, i had zero confidence to ask her out. I was afraid....I am afraid that I will be too boring for her or most of the girls in Ireland.
I have pretty much no friends. I can't ask out the girl of my dreams. And my confidence is pretty much nil. The joys of being a non-drinker in Ireland.
Hey there Teamshadowclan. I'm saddened reading your post.
Yes, unfortunately a lot of things/events in our society revolve around drink.
I'm a 33 year old girl. I rarely drink. I drank a bit when I went to college but soon grew tired of it. Also, I've seen first hand how drink can destroy people. Most of my friends drink and I've no problem with that.
I've found that a lot of my friends don't drink to the same level as they did in college. Many students talk about drink- it doesn't mean they'll still be talking like that in a few years time. Don't give up on the girl of your dreams!
It is annoying when your out and you have a soft drink and people hassle you over not drinking. They are not your real friends and are really not worth worrying over.
Sounds like you need to meet a few like-minded people at this stage in your life. Clubs are a good idea...0 -
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Teamshadowclan wrote: »Ah, this sort of topic is always one which interests me. Apologies if the following turns into a long winded rant.
Don't drink. Never have, never will. At 23, I just have never seen the point of alcohol and dispise the effects it not only has on the Irish individual but also how our entire society seemingly revolves around it. Sadly (and perhaps pathetically), I find I've lost contact with most of my friends over the years due to the fact I am a non-drinker who decided to focus on getting a decent education and doing something with myself rather than dedicating most of my resources to going boozing. I know there's a lot of jealousy there over the fact I've done quite well in college. I also know that several friends turned on me because I was the "parental friendly" friend who they all wanted their kids to be like. I know that sounds egotistical and I don't mean it to be that way; I just know that several of my former friends turned on me because their parents were constantly holding me up as some shining example of brilliance and wanted their kids to be like me.
It wasn't too bad as a teen in secondary school. I had two other friends who were nondrinkers as well and we stuck together. When we went on a skiing trip in TY where 47 people were getting drunk every night, the three of us were able to make our own entertainment and we had an amazing time.
Then towards the end of sixth year, things really turned south. One of the two when he went off to college started, according to stories I've heard over the years, going down a really bad path, regularly getting drunk and apparently also starting up drugs. The other apparently doesn't drink still, but does hang out with a group who do and we simply drifted apart when we went to different colleges. However the main problems came with other people I used to hang out with.
We were a group of about 10 people back in school and were a diverse enough bunch. Many of us only talked since we were friends of friends, abut problems started to fester towards the end of sixth year. I really found out when tickets went on sale for the Grad. I had no intentions of going; the things always turned into drunken brawls and I had heard absolutle horror stories over the years. They were for the innercity chavs, not the likes of me. Still, it was my personal decision and I didn't force my belief on anyone else. Still, I apparently had more pull within the group than I realised cause when I sadi I wasn't going, so did half the group. The real problem came though in the bitterness this left in the other half of the group. I actually had one friend who started speaking really badly about me behind my back; I overheard a conversation one day between him and a girl I really liked (and I mean REALLY liked <_<). He knew how I felt but he was absolutly ripping into me in the conversation, telling her I was a manipulative ***** who was trying to ruin everyone's fun, and how horrible and boring I was. Really annoyed and upset me. I had never even talked about the grad to people other than to say I wasn't going and that was only cause I was asked about if I was or not. Years later, I still hear stories of how he never misses an opportunity to run be down because I'm a non-drinker and choose not to go out getting sloshed most nights.
There was more bitterness when a few months later, one of the gang invited me to his birthday. We had never been close but I still said yes. At the very least, it was a chance to catch up with other friends after we had all gone to different colleges. A few minutes after the invite though, I get another phonecall. Apparently some of the group thought it would be hilarious to spike my drinks and get me piss eyed drunk. Even apart from the fact I'd have noticed they were laced with alcohol, this really annoyed me, since it was a blatent show of disrespect and I hated some of the people for trying to trick me.
I think that's what really gets to me though. If you don't drink, people treat you like some monster. They refuse to be respectful to your decisions or let you live how you want to live. I don't know if it's that they feel that nondrinkers think they are better than everyone else so want to bring them down a peg or two. For my part, I never rubbed my choices in the faces of others. I never bragged or thought myself better. The thoughts were all on their end, yet I recieve the blame and the abuse for it. I was left with most of them not just losing contact with me (which I could understand since they obviously want to do one thing and I want another; as people grow older, differences divide and people move on) but actually seemingly with most of them hating my guts for some reason. I hated that and I feel so guilty over it as well. Which is stupid, I know.
What's worse, I hate that even today, I still find that my choices affect me and can really destroy my confidence. Case and point, there was a girl this year at college. I liked her and she really liked me, based on the signals I was picking up. But she always was talking about how drunk she got at the weekend and how she loved drinking. And cause of years of the above attitude towards me as a non-drinker, i had zero confidence to ask her out. I was afraid....I am afraid that I will be too boring for her or most of the girls in Ireland.
I have pretty much no friends. I can't ask out the girl of my dreams. And my confidence is pretty much nil. The joys of being a non-drinker in Ireland.
You're problems aren't caused by you not drinking.
That won't be a popular opinion here but to blame you having no friends etc. on you not drinking and your ex-mates drinking is beyond ridiculous.0 -
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Hey there Teamshadowclan. I'm saddened reading your post.
Yes, unfortunately a lot of things/events in our society revolve around drink.
I'm a 33 year old girl. I rarely drink. I drank a bit when I went to college but soon grew tired of it. Also, I've seen first hand how drink can destroy people. Most of my friends drink and I've no problem with that.
I've found that a lot of my friends don't drink to the same level as they did in college. Many students talk about drink- it doesn't mean they'll still be talking like that in a few years time. Don't give up on the girl of your dreams!
It is annoying when your out and you have a soft drink and people hassle you over not drinking. They are not your real friends and are really not worth worrying over.
Sounds like you need to meet a few like-minded people at this stage in your life. Clubs are a good idea...
Hehe, thanks for the reply. Looking back over the post I wrote up a few days, I do think it was a tad doomy and gloomy. Don't be saddened. I'm not. I'm actually living quite a happy life and am happy. Sure, it may not be a very social life but I'm generally not the type of person who sits about mopping or complaining. Think that that post went a tad down that route but it was more pent up venting.
I should add that when I was doing a work placement last semester, I did meet plenty of cool people and even though they did spend their time getting drunk, they were still cool to talk too. And I know there are like-minded people out there. I think one problems comes from the fact that I reckon that heavy drinkers who cause the most problems are a vocal minority, and it's tough to meet the like minded people since they too have had years of being the social outcast and now stay quiet. I'm also optamistic by nature so don't think my post is one of a vision of years of misery. I know a huge chunk of my problem comes from the fact I just don't seem to gel with my own age group, or at least the bracket I've been in for years and am now coming out the other side of.
Which leads to....You're problems aren't caused by you not drinking.
That won't be a popular opinion here but to blame you having no friends etc. on you not drinking and your ex-mates drinking is beyond ridiculous.
Contraversial!
Or not. You're welcome to your opinion and truth be told, your right. In part. I know that the whole drinking thing isn't the lone reason for my "problems" (A word I use to describe my situation loosely). It's a part of a larger problem which revolves around the fact I lack self-confidence and have trouble making friends as a result. However, I do feel as if it was my attitude towards drink during my later teenage years which caused a lot of the problems with people, or at least were the catalyst for the problems. The fights I had with people were about drink. A lot of my personal problems with people and vice versa seem to revolve around drink.
The main problem is one of self-confidence. Drink played a major factor in the development of that problem.
(Soz if grammer or spelling is off there or if I'm rambling and repeating myself. Just back from Manchester and am absolutly wrecked...)0 -
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I'm 24 and have never really been able to tolerate alcohol (due to medication) I may have a drink once or twice a year (at that it will be one small drink, no doubt I'll fall asleep after consuming it too!) For the most part people either just don't notice/care or (to the other extreme...) they look at me like I've 10 heads. It's bizarre to me that it's bizarre to them... But, sure, such is the culture we live in, I guess. Some people will mock me or even use me to mind them/their things... Which, obviously, I'm not too impressed about.
I like to (try to) believe that I don't care what people think about the fact I don't drink but it can become tiresome when I've to keep repeating myself in explaining to them why I don't... And I don't like that I feel I HAVE TO excuse myself for being "the bore". Guess that's more my problem than theirs!
Fear not OP, you're not alone
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