Female friends.

Littleblondehen

I find it quite hard to make friends with women. I have a lot of male friends, probably because I pal around with my boyfriend a lot because I don't have female friends. (I just want to point out, I'm not one of those girls who hangs out of her fella all the time, I quite often tell him to go away, drink beer and watch football with the lads and give me a bit o peace!!)

I have a few girls in college that I am friendly with, and some of the lads girlfriend's I would be friendly with too, but it's not the kind of friendship that you could ring them in the middle of the day for a chat, or have a girls night in/out. I've tried to organise nights out with them or sending them texts for an aul chin wag, but it's not happening. And I don't want to seem stalkerish or clingy!

I always feel a bit pathetic when I say it, but I'd love some girl friends that I could go shopping with and have girls weekends away with or just generally hang about with. It seems everyone of the girls I know already has that group of friends.

I don't know, maybe I'm trying to hard or I'm not trying enough?

Is it just me, is there anyone else out there who is the same? (crosses fingers in hopes that I am not the only weirdo :-P)

Assets Model

I have alot of female friends now but I went through a rough time in college of having no friends and never wanted that to happen again so I REALLY put myself out there now. I think making friends is almost like dating in the beginning you kinda have to put yourself out there and ask someone out on a firend date. I guess some people might not be interested in meeting new friends in their 20s or 30s but alot of people are so just ignore people that aren't interested and find people that are. I guess just keep suggesting meet ups to people and be totally available to go out to parties and stuff with them too you cn move a relationship on for being a boyfriends friends bird who you chat to in the pub to being a friend by just suggesting doing stuff on your own without the lads?

If people ask you to go out and you refuse more than twice in a row they''ll stop asking. Good luck!

Ickle Magoo

I think it is just a case of finding a connection with someone and pursuing that. Ask them to meet you for coffee and try to establish a friendship beyond the fair-weather variety, it can be harder going when people are older, they have established friendships and often quite busy lives but it can certainly be done.

When I moved to Ireland I know no-one and I found it quite difficult to try an "infiltrate" some of the well established cliques. About five years ago I advertised for a meet up of folks in a similar position to myself and I now have a wide circle of friends whom I have lots in common with!

Nightwish

I have not had close female friends up until 2 years ago. I preferred male company to female company and I still do. I find I dont have as much in common with females. Also the inevitable bitchiness and cliquey-ness that comes with girls annoys the hell out of me. Lads are to a lesser extent more upfront and honest. That said, my female friends are important to me because there are just some things that need a female perspective.

jen-

It can be tough to make friends when you get to the certain age, but it can be done. you say theres a group of girls in college who you are friendly with, try and build on that a bit more, because the friends in college are more often than not the one's who stick. instead of inviting to them to nights out or to the cinema, I think its kind of better to arrange to go to somthing more different at first, that they might not do with their other mates. Even if it is somthing that is realted to your college ,and go for a drink after that. then gradually after these kind of things it will form into just casually going for coffee or to the cinema or each others houses for a chat. the same with the gf's of your fellas mates, they might think your being friendly cuz you have to, but try to strike some kind of common interests with them outside the reastionships. Im a bit like you and Im always hanging around the lads, and it can get a bit tiring, so if it wasnt for my gf's I would probably go mad!!

Littleblondehen

Thanks for the advice ladies. Your right I'll try again.
I'm training to be a beautician and I offered to do some manicures or pedicures for the boyfriend's friends girlfriends (phew!) but I think I'll offer again in case they thought I was just saying it to be nice.

The girls in college, the couple of them that I am friendly with have children so I suppose that makes it harder for them to have free time.

Thanks I feel a bit more optimistic now

My boyfriend reckons I missed out on those years when friendships form, from 19 to 23 I was with my ex and he took me over completley so I suppose at this stage it is a bit harder to make friends, but I'll keep trying.

Littleblondehen

Littleblondehen wrote: »

My boyfriend reckons I missed out on those years when friendships form, from 19 to 23 I was with my ex and he took me over completley so I suppose at this stage it is a bit harder to make friends, but I'll keep trying.

There are always opportunities in life to make and lose good friends.
I would have been in a similar boat, at different stages of my life.
Keep looking for chances to make girl friends, and eventually your luck will come in.
I know everyone says this, but clubs can be a great way to make good friends.

sorrywhat

I went to a mixed school when I went ti secondary school. My best friend was a boy. I was close to 2 other girls as well. Did girly stuff with them etc, but I kinda held back a bit. Then the boy got a girl and that was kinda it for us. He spent most of his time with his new girlfriend and I found myself at a loose end. We used to hang out a lot. That kinda told me, man I need some friends.

I started to meet up the 2 other girls more often. And now 5 years on I wouldnt be able to live without them. The 3 of us are the best of friends.

Im still mates with a large group from school, so its guys and girls. So when we go out its a mix. But the girls do meet up out side of that.

Im also quite close to a girl in work who I do stuff with like going to the cinema, we might go for dinner once a week. And Im friendly-ish with a few people from an exercise class I go to.

If the boy hadnt of gotten a girlfriend would I be as close to my 2 girls now? Im not sure. Dont just stick with one, branc out. Its worth it to have as many friends as you can, you dont know when you will need them.

Assets Model

It is harder in your mid to late 20s but not impossible. Do keep trying.

pikachucheeks

I have a few female friends, but the thing is, with boyfriends, college work and most of them not getting on with each other, it's never the case that we'd all go out together.
Normally, I have to see my friends on a one-by-one basis, which means I haven't experienced anything like "a night out with the girls" in quite some time.

I think new friends can crop up pretty much anywhere, if you make an effort though, OP!
On St Patrick's Day, I was in a bar with my house mate and a good friend. I saw this girl, alone by the bar and went up to her to say "hi" and ask if she'd like to join us.
Normally, I'd never have done something like this, but I imagined myself in her position ... and just decided to approach her.
As it turns out, she was really grateful I asked, was brilliant fun and we all had a great time. She's now a friend of mine on Facebook (:cool:) and I'll definitely ask her on my next night out

So, if you make an effort to converse with someone or be nice to them, usually they'll reciprocate.

Joining clubs and societies are also a great way to meet new people with similar interests. Usually, people are all joining with the aim of making new friends and having a bit of fun, so everyone tends to be friendly.

I'd also recommend taking the lead with organising events. Don't wait for other people to come up with an idea, why not try to plan something yourself? Send a text around to a few people, book a table somewhere or even host pre-drinks. That's always served me well in the past, because people are usually thankful for your initiative and think of you as good fun!