Girls and nightclubs.

Jake LeMotta

First of all, I just want to point out this is a serious thread and I'm not trying to take the piss; for those who may find the title misleading.

My question is this.
Every night lots of girls spend hours in their rooms getting made up and dressed up and then go out to nightclubs and bars and flaunt themselves and project, I think what you might describe as, a sexually suggestive persona. Perhaps there's a more correct description?
But you get the idea.

My question is; are they all looking to "score", so to speak.
Are they dressing up like this and flaunting themselves so, to try and attract the "alpha male", the guy of their dreams or something?
Are they just doing it to reassure themselves of their femininity by having guys flirt with them?
Just to have some fun and if some nights they happen to meet a nice dude, they might be with him, or they might want to make sure he's on for something more serious first?

Maybe it depends on the girl right?

But in general?
Whats your opinion?

Hagar

Got in in one. All of the above.

Macha

peer pressure
fashion magazines/media
competitiveness
insecurities
hormones
sexual drives

I'd say these factors and more contribute to the phenomenon of young Irish women dressing in such a provocative and, let's face it, uncomfortable, way every Friday and Saturday night.

looksee

The girls go out in groups, and the dressing is to impress each other.

miec

I think the way mainstream culture eg: pop videos, magazines and so forth has a strong bearing on how women dress, added to that is fashion as well. I think culture over the centuries has focused on women's bodies, whether that is to cover it up or expose it. Presently, the exposed body is promoted in culture. Women want to dress sexy for all sorts of reasons. I think the major ones are fashion, competition between other women, attract men, to be seen as sexy, to feel sexy and attractive, to dress like the soapstars / popstars / celebrities that they admire and read about in magazines such as Heat, Closer etc.

Teddy Chips

They get dolled up to soak up as much attention as they can on a night out. It's a basic human desire to feel wanted and they are just satisfying this. Men do it as well in fairness.

Zombrex

Jake LeMotta wrote: »

My question is; are they all looking to "score", so to speak.
Are they dressing up like this and flaunting themselves so, to try and attract the "alpha male", the guy of their dreams or something?

No.

When I was younger I used to wonder this as well, but if you talk to girls a different picture emerges.

They are dressing up largely to look good, and more significantly, look good to other girls.

They aren't necessarily trying to get a guy, they are trying to look better, or sexier, than the other girls.

It is a self esteem thing. It is not about scoring, or attracting a guy.

Which is why you see girls dressed up like models/hookers (depending on your perspective) telling guys to f**k off all night long.

Valmont

looksee wrote: »

The girls go out in groups, and the dressing is to impress each other.

I'm sure that's true to an extent but it can't be the only reason. The idea itself is denying the individuality of thousands of women. Some might want to score, some might want to impress their evil friends, and some might want to find the man of their dreams. Heck, maybe some girls like the feeling of the wind up their skirts. This isn't really a topic we can legitimately generalise about.

Hagar

Can I guess from the lack of female responses that the women don't know themselves why they do it? Perhaps its a very basic mating/exhibition instinct that they can't explain or even understand themselves?

Macha

69 wrote: »

Can I guess from the lack of female responses that the women don't know themselves why they do it? Perhaps its a very basic mating/exhibition instinct that they can't explain or even understand themselves?

Er...I'm female.

Nevyn

69 wrote: »

Can I guess from the lack of female responses that the women don't know themselves why they do it? Perhaps its a very basic mating/exhibition instinct that they can't explain or even understand themselves?

Or maybe those type of women don't tend to post in the humanities forum or on boards.

Hagar

taconnol wrote: »

Er...I'm female.

Oops

Thaedydal wrote: »

Or maybe those type of women don't tend to post in the humanities forum or on boards.

It would be sexist of me to suggest that, but now that you mention it...

Nevyn

Why is that sexist?

Hagar

It could be considered sexist for me to imply that a woman who chooses to dress in a certain way wouldn't contribute to a humanities thread. You as a woman can make that implication with impunity, in the same way a black person can say niqqer, whereas I would be strung up by the balls if I said it.

Nevyn

If you were to say all women are like those listed above it would be wrong.
I never said they couldn't, I said they weren't likely to given the demographics of the site.
Which has very little to do with my gender, and never assumed your gender either.

liah

Umm.. Maybe I'm alone here, but if I dress up it's because a) it's fun and b) I like seeing all the different ways I can transform myself.

That said I can't remember the last time I wore a dress, I tend to stick to my jeans/converse/leather jacket, even in clubs, and I never really go out with other girls, at least not the types referenced in the OP, most of my female friends are pretty much like me. But sometimes it's just plain fun to dress up and play with makeup to see how you look. I've never thought it had anything to do with guys or other girls or trying to impress anyone.. I just dress to suit myself.

Dublin_Gunner

From my experience, though a lot of girls won't admit it, the main reason they spend ages getting ready and dolled up to the 9's is to try and out-do each other.

Every girls likes to be complimented, and try to look good. But its defo more for the competition between themselves than any outwardly sexual motive IMO.

Valmont

Just because I'm male doesn't mean I can presume to know the specific reasons why all males do certain things. I don't see why we can't just leave this with the idea that we are talking about millions of individual women, each replete with their own desires, motivations, wishes and expectations so we can't expect to nail this issue on its head with some platitude like they are sluts or they just want impress other girls. Give me a break!

Dublin_Gunner

Valmont wrote: »

Just because I'm male doesn't mean I can presume to know the specific reasons why all males do certain things. I don't see why we can't just leave this with the idea that we are talking about millions of individual women, each replete with their own desires, motivations, wishes and expectations so we can't expect to nail this issue on its head with some platitude like they are sluts or they just want impress other girls. Give me a break!

Well why can't we merely generalise? I don't believe the purpose of this thread was to understand in its entirety the complex inner workings of the female psyche.

Here's a generalisation that all makes would probably like to believe:


Girls are easy. They dress like that to get laid. Simple.

Lux23

I only get really dressed up a night out when I will be in a group of girls and I always make an effort to make sure I am wearing something they haven't seen before. I always find I get chatted up more when I am dressed down, I am not sure if this is because I look more normal and approachable or that I am just more relaxed.

If I am going on a date then I tend to wear clothes that are sexy to take off so I usually wear more in that case.

Dublin_Gunner

Lux23 wrote: »

If I am going on a date then I tend to wear clothes that are sexy to take off so I usually wear more in that case.

You take off your clothes on a date? :eek:

Macha

When grils grow up in a society that tells them that their most useful asset is their appearance, don't be shocked when they spend a significant amount of time, money and effort on their appearances.

Women are told that they are selected by men on the basis of their physical attraction to them and so is it any wonder that women become competitive over appearances?

miec

Can I guess from the lack of female responses that the women don't know themselves why they do it? Perhaps its a very basic mating/exhibition instinct that they can't explain or even understand themselves?

I am a woman too

AARRRGH

Many of these girls will still be open to meeting a guy on a night out. You only get told to **** off if you are not their type and you approach them direct.

I only half believe the "it's for other girls" explanation. I have heard my female friends say that one many times before, yet every single one of them gets bothered if they don't receive x amount of male attention, with x varying depending on the girl.

looksee

AARRRGH wrote: »

Many of these girls will still be open to meeting a guy on a night out. You only get told to **** off if you are not their type and you approach them direct.

I only half believe the "it's for other girls" explanation. I have heard my female friends say that one many times before, yet every single one of them gets bothered if they don't receive x amount of male attention, with x varying depending on the girl.

Well yes, but there isn't necessarily any connection between the two. They do want male attention, but they are assuming that what they wear will be attractive - its the style that is to impress the other girls. Its a bit subtle

Wibbs

AARRRGH wrote: »

I only half believe the "it's for other girls" explanation. I have heard my female friends say that one many times before, yet every single one of them gets bothered if they don't receive x amount of male attention, with x varying depending on the girl.

Both plug into social acceptance though. Plus the woman getting the most attention from men and being the most stylish as far as her peers go "wins" among her peers so to speak. Its much more evident among younger women though. Like OTT behaviour among younger men. Its still there down the line but the arenas of competition change. Men compete too. Its a human thing.

I would personally reckon that male social competition is less noticable not unequal because they have more areas to compete in. Mainly because women have a wider range of what they find attractive in potential mates. Like taconnol mentioned womens appearance(and reproductive health) is their primary arena of competition and acceptance, both with each other and for men(with a large side order of cultural/media pressure). Men can compete in business, the arts, sport, technology much more easily than women can. And compete in appearance and reproductive health too. So a very handsome guy may be bypassed by a guy who is the top of his game as say an artist, even if he has a face like a bag of hammers. Much less so with women in this society. So its no great wonder why this competition is so obvious especially among younger women.

I think there is a variety of reasons why women/girls dress up well on a night out. Men, Women, Self Esteem. Everyone is different.

Personally, I'm married, I have no intention of "scoring", but I want to feel good about myself when I'm out. Be that during the day or in a nightclub. I always put effort into my appearance. Looking well presented boosts my confidence, when I feel confident, I feel happy. I do it in work too, I wear a uniform but I am always pristine; Shirt perfectly ironed, hair tied back, nails cut short, a little make up, etc. I genuinely feel I do my job better when I have put this effort in because I am more upbeat. The same way, that when I am out, if I feel that I look good, I actually have a better night.

It's actually quite a difficult thing to explain!

AARRRGH

Deleted User wrote: »

Everyone is different.

Probably the best answer yet.

donfers

taconnol wrote: »

When grils grow up in a society that tells them that their most useful asset is their appearance, don't be shocked when they spend a significant amount of time, money and effort on their appearances.

Women are told that they are selected by men on the basis of their physical attraction to them and so is it any wonder that women become competitive over appearances?

err.......society tells us a lot of things, if we are dumb/intelligent/blind/cowardly enough to act upon what we believe is expected of us then so be it

I am a bit suspicious of the whole "blame society" rationale, it's an easy card to play in terms of absolving blame/responsibility

some women think their entire worth is based on their physical appearance, others don't...if societal pressure is a blanket thrown upon all of us and one doesn't like it, then one can choose to take that blanket off...otherwise one must accept, at least, some responsibility for acquiescence to those same societal forces

I hope I come across as smart and genuine in this post.

AARRRGH

donfers wrote: »

I am a bit suspicious of the whole "blame society" rationale, it's an easy card to play in terms of absolving blame/responsibility

Weak people blame society/others for their problems. Unfortunately (or fortunately) the world is full of weak people.

T runner

donfers wrote: »

some women think their entire worth is based on their physical appearance, others don't...if societal pressure is a blanket thrown upon all of us and one doesn't like it, then one can choose to take that blanket off...otherwise one must accept, at least, some responsibility for acquiescence to those same societal forces

.

I dont agree with this. From a very early age young girls (and boys) are conditioned to think that women should look close to an ideal.
This ideal is drummed into them continuously through television, cinema, advertising. Almost every pictured event opening in Irish papers seems to have skimpily clad models for example.
These are very strong messages and result in strong subconcious beliefs.
Society teaches us at a concious and subconcious level most of the things we think we know.

It is not as simple as casting off a blanket because if you do so you are now an outsider. You are not playing the mating/going out game by the rules and there may be consequences to that.

Even people who fully realise that physical appearance should not be the most impoprtant thing in a person may have to play the game because the entire population is conditioned by society at some level to think that physical appearance is paramount.

donfers

T runner wrote: »

I dont agree with this. From a very early age young girls (and boys) are conditioned to think that women should look close to an ideal.
This ideal is drummed into them continuously through television, cinema, advertising. Almost every pictured event opening in Irish papers seems to have skimpily clad models for example.
These are very strong messages and result in strong subconcious beliefs.
Society teaches us at a concious and subconcious level most of the things we think we know.

It is not as simple as casting off a blanket because if you do so you are now an outsider. You are not playing the mating/going out game by the rules and there may be consequences to that.

Even people who fully realise that physical appearance should not be the most impoprtant thing in a person may have to play the game because the entire population is conditioned by society at some level to think that physical appearance is paramount.

of course, we are all conditioned, guys and gals, to believe in the importance of physical attractiveness. I have no problem with that.

But not every girl wears miniskirts and knee high boots to nightclubs in sub zero temperatures

not every girl saves all her cash so she can get a boob job at 18

not every girl offers oral sex to random guys in a disco/club so she can be more popular/cool

not every girl drinks herself silly every weekend so she has the courage to make a pass at some random guy and then falls around the streets screaming and vomiting

So whilst I accept the point that societal forces are extremely hard on these young women and put great pressure on them...there is no doubt that a lot of women have had the courage and integrity to reject the more unsavoury aspects of these same societal forces.

As a poster said earlier, it's a sign of weakness and lack of personal integrity that some should succumb so readily to societal forces especially if they are doing things they don't want to do just to be popular or cool or fit in.

I am sorry but I don't have a lot of sympathy for those that

a) let "society" be their decision-maker
b) defend the behaviour of these people by blaming "Society" alone

AARRRGH

T Runner doesn't believe in the concept of personal responsibility. Head on over to the prostitution thread to see his thoughts on how women are powerless, pathetic creatures...

Jake LeMotta

Wicknight wrote: »

No.

When I was younger I used to wonder this as well, but if you talk to girls a different picture emerges.

They are dressing up largely to look good, and more significantly, look good to other girls.

They aren't necessarily trying to get a guy, they are trying to look better, or sexier, than the other girls.

It is a self esteem thing. It is not about scoring, or attracting a guy.

Which is why you see girls dressed up like models/hookers (depending on your perspective) telling guys to f**k off all night long.

I'd say I was laughing for a solid five minutes at that bro.

Yeah, it's so true. I never understood the reason for that. Some bird gets dolled up to the last and spends the night doing exactly as you said.
So that's a self esteem thing IYO?

I was just about to start another thread on that particular topic.
The difference in behavior of certain girls during the daytime as opposed to the night time, as in, in nightclubs.

Some girls, in fact, most girls, maybe its most people? - anyway, you know they're lovely and pleasant and nice for the most part during the day, but at night, the most lovely looking girl does exactly the above.

They seem to want to get guys to make a move on them so they can tell them what they can do with themselves.

My personal theory, and I'm open to criticism of course, but it's like they're exacting revenge for all the times during daylight hours they try to attract a guy and don't get the attention; in the nightclub, where guys obviously go specifically to score, where they know they're more likely to get hit on, they just want to vindicate themselves and tell them all to get f**ked, thus reasserting themselves in a position of superiority or power (over the males) in a manner of speaking, at least in there own head.

Jake LeMotta

liah wrote: »

Umm.. Maybe I'm alone here, but if I dress up it's because a) it's fun and b) I like seeing all the different ways I can transform myself.

That said I can't remember the last time I wore a dress, I tend to stick to my jeans/converse/leather jacket, even in clubs, and I never really go out with other girls, at least not the types referenced in the OP, most of my female friends are pretty much like me. But sometimes it's just plain fun to dress up and play with makeup to see how you look. I've never thought it had anything to do with guys or other girls or trying to impress anyone.. I just dress to suit myself.

Would it be fair to say, you like to dress up and play with make up and see how you can make yourself look to see what kind of male reactions you can actuate? Because that's the fun part?

Not to insinuate that you or someone in your position is necessarily going to act on or take advantage, so to speak, of these reactions.
(Say the female in question was dressing very suggestively as, I dunno, a school girl or something)

As in, not to insinuate that should one dress like this, they're going to behave in a promiscuous fashion? But that it's just purely for a bit of fun.

AARRRGH

Jake LeMotta wrote: »

Yeah, it's so true. I never understood the reason for that. Some bird gets dolled up to the last and spends the night doing exactly as you said.
So that's a self esteem thing IYO?

They only do that to certain types of guys who approach them in a certain type of way.

While I agree their put downs are unnecessarily harsh, the guy has to accept some responsibility too.

Drunk, sleazy guys are not attractive.

iguana

Jake LeMotta wrote: »

Yeah, it's so true. I never understood the reason for that. Some bird gets dolled up to the last and spends the night doing exactly as you said.
So that's a self esteem thing IYO?

Oh lord! Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, the woman has dressed up to attract one man in particular and has no interest in any random guy. Or that she finds some men attractive and not others. Or that most people dress up going to nightclubs so even women who have no interest picking up a guy dress up to fit in.:rolleyes:

These types of threads pop up every so often and I'm always left with the impression that it's sour grapes on the part of guys who can't understand why a woman who they are attracted to isn't attracted to them back. All of the amateur psychology in the world is just a diversion from the obvious. Women dress up for a whole host of reasons and it doesn't mean she will be interested in all (or any) guys who hit on her.

AARRRGH

iguana wrote: »

These types of threads pop up every so often and I'm always left with the impression that it's sour grapes on the part of guys who can't understand why a woman who they are attracted to isn't attracted to them back.

I agree with this. When I was younger and single I experienced the bitchy **** off from women in bars, but I accept personal responsiblity for this: I was the one approaching them, interrupting them, possibly annoying them, and they owed me nothing.

That's not to say being rude is correct, but they are entitled to be rude.

mollso

My goodness what s**te the Op is talking throughout this thread. the reality is women dress the way they do full stop - why try and read something into it for your own satisfaction - why is it that it has to be about men - Gosh perhaps women have reached a stage where they can actually think for themselves and dress for fun (for themselves) - dress for others (but their own choice) and dress to actually go out and feel good about themselves. Something tells me the Op has issues!!!!!!!

Jake LeMotta

mollso wrote: »

My goodness what s**te the Op is talking throughout this thread. the reality is women dress the way they do full stop - why try and read something into it for your own satisfaction - why is it that it has to be about men - Gosh perhaps women have reached a stage where they can actually think for themselves and dress for fun (for themselves) - dress for others (but their own choice) and dress to actually go out and feel good about themselves. Something tells me the Op has issues!!!!!!!

Jayzus!! You gave it to me with both barrells there bro!

donfers

the "dressing for myself" "dressing to feel good about myself" is just pure bollox and doesn't make sense, it's delusional

donfers

donfers wrote: »

the "dressing for myself" "dressing to feel good about myself" is just pure bollox and doesn't make sense, it's delusional

So what way do you dress and why do you dress that way?

destinybabe

Jake LeMotta wrote: »

Would it be fair to say, you like to dress up and play with make up and see how you can make yourself look to see what kind of male reactions you can actuate? Because that's the fun part?

Bottom line Jake LeMotta is that when a woman walks into a place looking good it gives her a boost of confidence,the mistake we're making here is assuming dressing in certain ways is to seek "male" reactions to the image we're portraying.First thing to acknowledge is the individuality of every woman, our reasons for dressing a certain way are numerous.In life we try out certain different personas,gauge others reactions to them (both male & female) which is how we arrive at whether it fits with our self image its exciting to try many different ways of dressing/acting based our mood,life experience etc when we go out to nightclubs it's a socially acceptable place we can feel safe to try out different aspects to our personality for instance in a nightclub you are less likely to be judged due to your intelligence as you would in the workplace so as its a basic human need to be liked/loved we tend to use whatever we have in whichever arena we're in.
Personally I dress to please myself,I follow fashion trends because it appeals to my femininity and I feel sexy whether I'm dressed provocatively or not, but yes when I have put the extra effort in I do like the appreciation my boyfriend shows or that my friends/family communicate (there's always an aspect of unspoken competition between women too to be honest! ).There is quite a difference between dressing and actually acting in a sexually suggestive way, if besides the clothing a woman is projecting herself in that way then it possibly is about attracting guys and if you conclude that and approach her based on that and you get the cold shoulder to be honest you're better off leaving her to her own life,live and learn some people can just be complex.
Those people who advocate the role social conditioning and culture contributes definitely have a point, but in saying that alot of how we choose to act and portray ourselves is ultimately up to ourselves as people we have our own thoughts and cop on.

Just my tuppence for what it's worth!

Macha

donfers wrote: »

the "dressing for myself" "dressing to feel good about myself" is just pure bollox and doesn't make sense, it's delusional

Yes because the idea of relying on other people's opinions of your appearance to decide what to wear and how good you feel about yourself is soooo healthy.

Hitgirl

Every girl is different. And for that reason, everyone has their reason for dressing up/down on a night out. You cant generalise in this case.
Yes, society/magazines/media portray an idealistic image of what a perfect woman should be, and many girls choose to dress up in an attempt to meet this, but I really dont think that's every girls reasoning behind getting dolled up.
For me, i dress up on a night out (and im not talking hooker-style), i just mean i make the effort, do my hair, wear nice clothes, put on some slap. In doing it, im never thinking, "will i score if i wear this?", more so, "do i look good in this?". I can genuinely say i do it for myself more than anyone else. When im dressed up, i feel good about myself. The better you look, the better you feel IMO. Maybe that doesn't apply to everyone, but im nearly sure i can speak for the vast majority of girls here.
Also, i tend to go out in a group of girls, so often get ready with other girls. We may take awhile getting ready, but trying on clothes, trying different styles, having a natter while doing it is half the fun, and for us, it's when the night really begins. There is always an element of competition with girls, not saying we want to out do each other so we dress up more, i just mean if friends are wearing nice dressy dresses, you dont want to dress down in comparison.
As for attracting male attention, and again, i can only speak for myself here, it's not the reason i choose to dress up. Yes, we all love attention, so if i get attention because of how i look, then i dont complain. I think however, if girls are in a group, all dressed up and all looking stunning, much as men love to look at them, they wont always approach them. I think its all about attitude when you're out, and how approachable you are. For example, a group of girls sitting in a corner, sipping cocktails, having a chat among themselves, are not very approachable, no matter how confident the male in question is. They fear ( and most likely will be), that they will be knocked back in that case, and why risk being rejected? However, take the same group of girls, and have them standing/dancing, say at a bar, laughing and interacting. Much more approachable. it's not really to do with how they are dressed, its just how open they are to having a bit of banter.
Probably gone a bit off the point there, but what im saying is, you cant tar all girls with the same brush. if we choose to dress up, the majority of us, i think, are doing it for our own reasons, not for the benefit of others and not to score!

donfers

Hitgirl wrote: »

Every girl is different. And for that reason, everyone has their reason for dressing up/down on a night out. You cant generalise in this case.
Yes, society/magazines/media portray an idealistic image of what a perfect woman should be, and many girls choose to dress up in an attempt to meet this, but I really dont think that's every girls reasoning behind getting dolled up.
For me, i dress up on a night out (and im not talking hooker-style), i just mean i make the effort, do my hair, wear nice clothes, put on some slap. In doing it, im never thinking, "will i score if i wear this?", more so, "do i look good in this?". I can genuinely say i do it for myself more than anyone else. When im dressed up, i feel good about myself. The better you look, the better you feel IMO. Maybe that doesn't apply to everyone, but im nearly sure i can speak for the vast majority of girls here.
Also, i tend to go out in a group of girls, so often get ready with other girls. We may take awhile getting ready, but trying on clothes, trying different styles, having a natter while doing it is half the fun, and for us, it's when the night really begins. There is always an element of competition with girls, not saying we want to out do each other so we dress up more, i just mean if friends are wearing nice dressy dresses, you dont want to dress down in comparison.
As for attracting male attention, and again, i can only speak for myself here, it's not the reason i choose to dress up. Yes, we all love attention, so if i get attention because of how i look, then i dont complain. I think however, if girls are in a group, all dressed up and all looking stunning, much as men love to look at them, they wont always approach them. I think its all about attitude when you're out, and how approachable you are. For example, a group of girls sitting in a corner, sipping cocktails, having a chat among themselves, are not very approachable, no matter how confident the male in question is. They fear ( and most likely will be), that they will be knocked back in that case, and why risk being rejected? However, take the same group of girls, and have them standing/dancing, say at a bar, laughing and interacting. Much more approachable. it's not really to do with how they are dressed, its just how open they are to having a bit of banter.
Probably gone a bit off the point there, but what im saying is, you cant tar all girls with the same brush. if we choose to dress up, the majority of us, i think, are doing it for our own reasons, not for the benefit of others and not to score!

yawn...do I really have to spell this out?

ask yourself, why do you feel better about yourself? because you look good? well why do you think you look good??? and on and on

basically keep on asking why and you'll eventually get there and it's not about yourself at all depsite your self-obsessed mindset...not directed at poster above, just all those people who abide by the gross simplification/misnomer of "doing it for myself"

Hitgirl

donfers wrote: »

yawn...do I really have to spell this out?

ask yourself, why do you feel better about yourself? because you look good? well why do you think you look good??? and on and on

basically keep on asking why and you'll eventually get there and it's not about yourself at all depsite your self-obsessed mindset...not directed at poster above, just all those people who abide by the gross simplification/misnomer of "doing it for myself"

Dont really get what you're trying to say. I dont think im being at all self obsessed in wanting to look good, in order to make myself feel good. When i look s**t, i feel s**t, it's that simple. So excuse me if i want to feel good about myself, but i think im entitled to.
If i have given the impression that I go out looking like a hooker, then let me be clear - I don't. Not at all. If you read my post correctly, you'll see that i did state that society/magazines etc. are also behind attempting to look good, as is competition with other girls. I also said I see no problem if i get attention, it's flattering, by all accounts, but it doesnt mean im giving the come on, or trying to score.
As i said, i dont think you can tar everybody with the same brush, so even if you dont believe that all girls are "doing it for themselves", fair enough. But you can take my word, my main concern when putting a bit of effort in, is for myself.

donfers

donfers wrote: »

yawn...do I really have to spell this out?

ask yourself, why do you feel better about yourself? because you look good? well why do you think you look good??? and on and on

basically keep on asking why and you'll eventually get there and it's not about yourself at all depsite your self-obsessed mindset...not directed at poster above, just all those people who abide by the gross simplification/misnomer of "doing it for myself"

soooo

Deleted User wrote: »

So what way do you dress and why do you dress that way?

Jake LeMotta

Just what I'm getting from the previous posts:

I can understand the "dressing for myself" part.
I guess it's true of human beings, not just females - everyone loves attention.
It makes one feel good about themselves if they get noticed or receive admiring glances.

I also understand that these admiring glances don't necessarily mean the "admirer" is looking to "score" with the person in question.
As far as attraction goes, and I'd like to hear others opinions on this also, but IMO two people can admire each other without there being any great deal of chemistry.

To make specific reference to the topic title; Everyone likes eyes on them. Male and female.
As far as being in a nightclub, what I was referring to specifically was girls using the allure of skin, in showing it basically, or dressing or manipulating their demeanor in a way that is suggestive.
This is what draws looks and attention. But not necessarily because they look good, as such. But rather because their dress/demeanor/manner stimulates a natural human impulse.

Thus the girl dressed as, I dunno, a schoolgirl/playboy bunny, whatever, she does it "for herself". The looks she draws makes her feel good. But of course it will prompt reactions, from males, specifically the inebriated kind. Perhaps these reactions she doesn't want, specifically in the paltry manner in which they manifest themselves, so she'll tell the guy to f**k off.

My point is; carry yourself like your looking for a fight cause you want to look hard/intimidate people/make yourself feel tough/good/dominant/alpha - receive the glances that come with that demeanor - at some stage, someones probably going to oblige.
Dress and act suggestively, carry and flaunt yourself in a particular way because you want people to look at you - receive that visual attention that makes us all feel good about ourselves - at some stage your gonna get the reaction that your demeanor inspires, even if this was not your motive for embodying that particular demeanor.

SugarHigh

Deleted User wrote: »

soooo

If someone hasn't responded to your question maybe it's because they can see that it's obviously a loaded question that would be silly to answer soooo how about you stop spamming it.

Scanlas The 2nd

I think women dress the way they do in pubs/nightclubs for two main reasons.

1. To be better at playing the mating game. Being horny and looking for a relationship come under this reason. Women have a natural seductress/temptress side to them where they bait men into taking action. It's the natural mating dynamic at work. In my opinion women get turned on from turning on attractive men and having the effect over a man where he is losing control of himself he finds her that sexy.

2. To feel good about themselves. This one comes under the reason women have been giving of "I do it for myself". Being higher in the social hierarchy feels good. Validating a self image of being attractive feels good. Getting attention from men will help attain those goals. I think
competiveness between women falls under this category too because the the competition is played for the most part through the channel of male attention. Competition is about social hierarchy too.