Bum Stories

Piriz

On Dame Street last night, walking passed an ATM, all of a sudden BANG! Some junky bum sitting on the ground had stuck his cigarette into some balloons some lady was carrying as she walked passed. One balloon burst with a loud pop & everyone looked around to see the bum with a smoke in one hand, then he raises the other hand with the palm out, looks up and asks the lady for “spare change please”, what a manoeuvre!!! the nasty expression on his face quickly change to one of helplessness was classic...

Any stories about bums, beggars or junkies, post ’em here….

Biggins

I could post about bums, beggars or junkies - but you don't want to hear about my family.

alwaysadub

Well,last night i was walking down Dame St with some balloons....... :pac:

Duff

alwaysadub wrote: »

Well,last night i was walking down Dame St with some balloons....... :pac:

I think I seen you. Did a bum pop some of them with a cigarette?

Hank_Jones

I really thought this thread was going to be about arse.

mikom

Why did the bum cross the road?
To get to the other Cider.

Seloth

There was a bum on the telly last night...twas very smooth skinned and curved

Just off Paul street in Cork there was a hobo playin the violin..as you got closer it had no strings and behind him there was a tap recorder

Fago!

A beggar stopped me and 3 mates in t'street. We were walking in a line. I was in the middle. He asked my mate at the end for money. Then the next mate, skipped me and asked the next lad. WTF!

It's a sorry state of affairs when a beggar asks your mates for money but not you.

Prick. Hope he gets shot by a cowboy.

Hank_Jones

Fago! wrote: »

A beggar stopped me and 3 mates in t'street. We were walking in a line. I was in the middle. He asked my mate at the end for money. Then the next mate, skipped me and asked the next lad. WTF!

It's a sorry state of affairs when a beggar asks your mates for money but not you.

Prick. Hope he gets shot by a cowboy.

He probably didn't want to mess with the competition.

Fago!

Hank_Jones wrote: »

He probably didn't want to mess with the competition.

To be fair to him, I looked poorer then he did.

Hank_Jones

Fago! wrote: »

To be fair to him, I looked poorer then he did.

He wasn't one of those bums that go around wearing new runners that cost more than what you're wearing was he?

At least they're easy to spot as scammers though.

OutlawPete

Damn, thought this would me an anal sex memoirs thread :mad:

/regarding wimminz bums don't be liking mens bums

Fago!

Hank_Jones wrote: »

He wasn't one of those bums that go around wearing new runners that cost more than what you're wearing was he?

At least they're easy to spot as scammers though.

Yeah those skanger scammer bastards wearin their new runners and scruffy tracksuits, eating their chicken fillet rolls, robbing people blind.

Hank_Jones

I seriously think this thread needs some nice bums in it.

http://www.hamaraphotos.com/albums300/wpw-20070723/Vida%20Guerra%20%96%20Great%20ASS%20in%20Bedroom%20Party-1.jpg

Felt let down when I opened this thread.

Abi

Awww fuck :mad:

/zips trousers back up

j1smithy

Junkie asked me for a bite of my sandwich... naturally I refused, so he punched me in the face, took my sandwich and ran off.

True story.

Fago!

j1smithy wrote: »

Junkie asked me for a bite of my sandwich... naturally I refused, so he punched me in the face, took my sandwich and ran off.

True story.

As if somebody was gunna contradict you.

bronte

Arse ftw!!!

BigBenRoeth

I pissed on a hobo in Bundoran when I was on holidays......he was in the corner of the underground car park of the apartments wrapped up in a load of carpet :pac:

thetonynator

theres a foreign woman sits on the side of the street, with a coffee cup on front of her for change, holding what appears to be a very well wrapped up baby. Its only when you look closely, you realise the baby is a doll . . .

keepkeyyellow

BigBenRoeth wrote: »

I pissed on a hobo in Bundoran when I was on holidays......he was in the corner of the underground carpark of the apartments rapped up in a load of carpet :pac:

I shouldn't laugh...but omg:)

Abi

BigBenRoeth wrote: »

I pissed on a hobo in Bundoran when I was on holidays......he was in the corner of the underground carpark of the apartments rapped up in a load of carpet :pac:

Random! I facking lol'd :pac:

InkSlinger67

ABout 15 years ago I got kicked in the shin by a territorial Bum outside the GPO one evening. Don't ask why cos I don't know myself, I was just waiting on a mate at the ATM keeping my eyes on my business and WHACK!!!!

Lucky for him I was only a teen at the time - now I've developed quite a habit of beating up the homeless for no reason :mad::mad::mad::mad:

bazmaiden

deceptive thread title,

There's a romanian woman in Newbridge who gets dropped off at the post office at 7:15 every morning in a BMW series 5

Anyway I only give money to the ones with cool signs

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/nollpost/funny%20homeless%20signs/ItaysWorld_HomelessSign_01.jpg

dr.fuzzenstein

Like him:
http://img1.photographersdirect.com/img/21635/wm/pd2395513.jpg

FlutterinBantam

Was queuing at the Luas stop Stephens green ,this bag lady was in front and, as I suppose is usual, had a load of bags.

Floppy skirt and runners on her and pong of fresh shíte, when suddenly she planks the bags on the ground, cocks her arse , and unloads a fcuking rasper of a fart that could be heard outside Trinity!!

Low sonorous deep throated ripper, fcukin whiff (sour onions) nearly dazed me.

"Fcukin ignorant cow" says I "Did you have to blow out your guts in my face"

" Listen sonny " she rasped" If you caught a real load of my guts, you would be face down on them tracks"


Ingorant bitch:mad:

marko91

in amsterdam a hobo stolls round playing a guitar singing then another one looks like golem said next time he sees us on this street hes gona "fcucking stab u mannnn im gona slice you":eek:

Sea Sharp

This is my post 999.

Will someone volunteer to post something mildly stupid, setting me up for a glorious put-down 1000th post?? :P

Formal shorts

A friend of mine fell out of a club drunk in Toronto. The lads found him two hours later lying in a gutter with a big turd on his arm. Turns out he had bought a homeless man foot cream, and then another homeless man took a dump on him after he passed out.

Of all the things to be done to you when you pass out, and of all of the people who could do it, being shat on by a homeless person has to be up there.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

GaNjaHaN wrote: »

This is my post 999.

Will someone volunteer to post something mildly stupid, setting me up for a glorious put-down 1000th post?? :P

I've met quite a few bums in my time, why do they usually smell so bad?
And look for money?
Then just walk away muttering to themselves?

The_Kew_Tour

Once when I refused to give begger some change he replied by saying God bless you and have good day, I replied I will indeed sir thank you very much, the look he gives back.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Ever meet 'the gentleman beggar' in Galway

'Goodday to you sir, may I trouble you for some change on this fine day'
'Got nothing'
'Oh well thats ok, hope you enjoy the rest of your day'
All said with a smile and a bow

Formal shorts

adrian280582 wrote: »

Once when I refused to give begger some change he replied by saying God bless you and have good day, I replied I will indeed sir thank you very much, the look he gives back.

Then what happened?

pebbles21

Came out of the Mater hospital after seeing my Father,when a junkie comes up to me and says "alri..bud ....storrry....any bleeding change...like ??"

I said " ah yeah hes not too bad now, they took out the kidney stones the other day thanks" as i walked pass him

BigBenRoeth

pebbles21 wrote: »

Came out of the Mater hospital after seeing my Father,when a junkie comes up to me and says "alri..bud ....storrry....any bleeding change...like ??"

I said " ah yeah hes not too bad now, they took out the kidney stones the other day thanks" as i walked pass him

That post is made of pure win

orourkeda

pebbles21 wrote: »

Came out of the Mater hospital after seeing my Father,when a junkie comes up to me and says "alri..bud ....storrry....any bleeding change...like ??"

I said " ah yeah hes not too bad now, they took out the kidney stones the other day thanks" as i walked pass him

At what stage did you smash his teeth in?

Sea Sharp

Bailey Screeching Phlegm wrote: »

I've met quite a few bums in my time, why do they usually smell so bad?
And look for money?
Then just walk away muttering to themselves?

I couldn't think of anything good to say so this is my 1,001st post.

Unless I stoop to a ridiculously immature level and say:

I've met quite a few bums in my time, why do they usually smell so bad?

Because that's where poo comes from.

Piste

At least you tried, God loves a trier.

poisonated

I remember walking down Nassau street.There was this homeless guy with a cup in his hand.I decided that it would be nice to give him some money.I drop a couple of coins in to discover that it was actualy a cup of coffee.He was actualy quite nice about it.I felt bad though so I went in to the shop and bought him a bottle of water.

me-skywalker

Im more of a tit man myself.

Seloth

The other day just waiting at the side of the street to get picked up when out of no where this guy with the worst teeth I've ever seen comes up "S'cuse me ,I couldnt borrow 2 euro off ya?" The second I said "No..." His back turns with an angry face"...sorry I'm just got off from school and am getting picked up"

Ignorant feck being angered that I didnt have it.

Before a bum came up too a few of us and started going on about how he hated school and always skipped....I never appreciated secondary school so much after that

veryangryman

A beggar once shouted at me, "gimme some money or ill give ya a box"

I turned around to see a man holding out a cardboard box

star.chaser

my bum has spots on it and is a bit hairy too

Gary4279

Dangleberrys are a form of pure evil:mad:

dr.fuzzenstein

Bums are a nuisance, especially when they're allowed to run the country.
(or is that an insult to bums?)

Seloth

*Sigh* Did you relaly need to make that statement :rolleyes: :P

I've noticed a huge increase of them in Cork recently...Infact there some down in the town where Im from now..Like they get the train down or somthing.

In Macdonals today one fell asleep on the counter :L

Bob Z

BigBenRoeth wrote: »

I pissed on a hobo in Bundoran when I was on holidays......he was in the corner of the underground car park of the apartments wrapped up in a load of carpet :pac:

that's Mankey Not the part about the hobo the part about being in bundoran

Numina

Fago! wrote: »

A beggar stopped me and 3 mates in t'street. We were walking in a line. I was in the middle. He asked my mate at the end for money. Then the next mate, skipped me and asked the next lad. WTF!

Was this before or after this picture was taken?

http://img.letssingit.com/artists/qfjds/the_beatles3.jpg

star.chaser

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Bums are a nuisance, especially when they're allowed to run the country.
(or is that an insult to bums?)

yeah, i know what your saying. a lot of them talk through their arses

Funkfield

One time outside Bruxelles a bum asked me and my mates for a cigarette. He bore and uncanny resemblance to Buster Merryfield so I said I'd give him a few if he said "During the war....". And he did, accent 'n' all. Best fags I ever spent.