Is it ok to let 16 year old walk home alone?

theg81der

Just curious what others think - is it ok to let a 16 year old girl walk home 2 km`s relatively quiet area after school?

I don`t think it is but maybe I`m overly cautious.

Little My

If you mean 2kms from being dropped off a bus in the country, down roads where she will only pass 1 or 2 houses and only a few cars will drive past - maybe not.

2kms through a town or residential areas in the middle of the day? Like before dust? Its only a 15min-ish walk - I'm sure she will be fine.

amdublin

I would think yes!!!!!!!!

What age were you when you were allowed walk on your own?

If you don't let him/her walk alone now what age are you going to?
18?
21?

Moonbeam

Unless it is dark unlit country roads of course it is.
Kids walk that to primary schools on their own.
All the thoguhts going through my head now..is the kid allowed out on their own at all?

Davidth88

Good lord .. yes of course .

metrovelvet

Jesus Christ. What is the world coming to. I went to London by myself when I was 16.

BostonB

It would depend entirely on the area and how much sense the 16 yr old had.

In my school I'd say most kids were travelling on their own once they hit 2yr. Some were before that. Depending where they lived relative to the school. I had about a 20 min walk then a 20 minute bus journey, that was in a busy built up area.

MagicMarker

Holy crap. I was getting public transport to school on my own before I was 10.

Yes, it's perfectly ok for a 16 year old girl to walk 2km alone after school!

BostonB

I think the risk is higher than it used to be in the past, if not as high as the media would have you believe. Its also a higher risk for girls. Also as we don't know the area, you can't making a sweeping statement. A 2k walkincluding a section through a dark park in a problem area is a different ball game.

mumto3

Yes!!
I had moved out of home by the time i was 16 and was renting a place of my own!
The world is a dangerous place these days but life goes on,she will eventually have to go places on her own and the risks of something bad happening at 16 are the same as it happening at 18,IMO anyway.

BlackForestJule

Why is the world more dangerous now than it was 20 years ago? I shouldn't think the percentage of dangerous people has changed. The only thing that has is our perception through hightened media-coverage and a lot more possibilities when it comes to monitoring people's moves. I walked to school and from/to my friend's houses on my own in primary (in a small town in Germany in the 80s) and, as other posters, went on holidays on my own by the time I was 16 (first trip to Ireland, for example ).
You can't put your children on a leash!

I agree, though, that it all depends on the area and whether it's dark or not.

Cabaal

Used to travel to Dublin on my own when I was around 16 (and thats certainly not 20 years ago), used to spend the day up in Dublin no bother at all. I would say 2km is fine tbh

The perception is now is more dangerous then say the 1980's yet the numbers for different types of events such as kidnapping etc really haven't changed, the only thing that has changed is the media report on every little thing and big it up.

enda1

BostonB wrote: »

I think the risk is higher than it used to be in the past, if not as high as the media would have you believe. Its also a higher risk for girls. Also as we don't know the area, you can't making a sweeping statement. A 2k walkincluding a section through a dark park in a problem area is a different ball game.

I'd say the risk is lower than it ever was actually.
What makes you believe it is higher?

rainbowtrout

When I saw the title I was expecting the question to be about leaving a 16 year old walk home at night alone maybe after a disco or something. Of course it's ok to leave a 16 year old walk home after school. What are you going to do when she goes (away) to college, she'll be going places at all hours day and night and not always sober. Not wanting to generalise but students do tend to socialise a fair bit.

I was walking all over Limerick City (where I'm from) when I was that age and younger and I was organising trips to gigs all over the country when I was 16. They can't be mollycoddled forever.

rere

It's defiantly ok, they're two years away from adulthood and need to start being shown some responsibility.
I think we all know people that were babied like that and when it was time to take care of themselves they didnt have the skills to do it.

iguana

Cabaal wrote: »

The perception is now is more dangerous then say the 1980's yet the numbers for different types of events such as kidnapping etc really haven't changed, the only thing that has changed is the media report on every little thing and big it up.

The only thing that's more dangerous now are our roads as they have more traffic on them. So if the walk is along a country road with no paths but one that is actually pretty busy with fast moving traffic, then I wouldn't recommend anyone walk along it. But apart from that of course any ordinary 16 year old should be allowed walk home by themselves.

cynder

YES!!!!!!

I left home at 16 (1996), moved 45 miles from my parents, had a full time job finished work some days at 2am in the morning and walked home 1.5 mile from my work place. I paid rent, electric and heating. Oh yes i am female.

( i went back to school and did my leaving cert at 22, met my husband at 17 and married him 2 years ago)

smelltheglove

I would think so, mind there are places I walked at 16 that I wouldnt walk now and thats not much more than 10 yrs ago... Use your common sense to work it out, if it is a very rural route, maybe not, if it is through some dodgy areas again maybe not but normal suburbs, yes. Are there any other kids that would walk the same route as your child? Can she take a mobile with her so at least you would feel a bit more secure that she could contact you if needed?

jhegarty

iguana wrote: »

The only thing that's more dangerous now are our roads as they have more traffic on them.

Last year had the lowest number of deaths since records began.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

It all depends on where you live OP. Generally it is more than ok, but either way you cannot be there to hold her hand for her whole life, you know? She has to grow up. Like others say here, dangerous places (parks, neighbourhoods etcetc) or unlit country roads would not be the places for any girl of any age to be walking home.

MoyVilla9

Oh my god, I would hate to have a parent like you.
Walk home after school? Are you serious?
Of course it's okay.

smellslikeshoes

jhegarty wrote: »

Last year had the lowest number of deaths since records began.

The poster you quoted was referring to walking country roads. The death statistics have went down because of safer cars in accidents and more motorways etc. I highly doubt that walking on any country road would be safer now than doing it even 15 years ago.

questionmark?

Yes of course its ok. A 16 year old should be treated as a young adult at this age. At 16 she is allowed drive a moped and even get married with parents consent. So unless you live in downtown Baghdad then let her. I presume she has a mobile.

Kunoichi

Please let your daughter walk home!!!
You don't know the embarassment you're causing her if you don't. My mother is very protective and there's nothing more embarassing than not being aloud to do the simplest things that you're peers take for granted. Of course, if it's a dangerous area, then there is cause for you too worry. I live in a small town and have walked the 1 mile-ish home from school since I was about 10 but I live on the outskirts of the town. So, as people have already stated, it all depends on your area. ^^

cbyrd

My girls are 11 and 7 they walk home from school together it's about 1.5km, they've been doing this since the eldest was 9. they walked down to where i worked and i have to say they are very confident now going anywhere. it was great when i was working and needed something in the supermarket, i'd wirte it down for them and off they'd go they thought it was great fun.!! they'd gointo the butchers for chicken and get the lolly they'd be chuffed!!:D

we lived in the country til december and we'd a shop about 1 km away and the eldest used to cycle up to it. I think it's important for a childs confidence to allow them to push a boundry, if they're not able to do it they won't do it. My kids have mobile phones for this purpose.;)

i'm not an irresponsible, person the first few times i let them out i was very nervous but when i look at what i was doing at that age i can't baby them. they're much better off being streetwise and knowing how to get around if they needed to. But it's up to the child too if s/he isn't ready cos of confidence issues maybe meet her halfway.. my brothers stepdaughter is 16 and deliberately gets the wrong bus at times so he'll pick her up or drop her off for handiness sake..she got him wrapped around the finger!!:D

MagicMarker

cbyrd wrote: »

My girls are 11 and 7 they walk home from school together it's about 1.5km, they've been doing this since the eldest was 9. they walked down to where i worked and i have to say they are very confident now going anywhere. it was great when i was working and needed something in the supermarket, i'd wirte it down for them and off they'd go they thought it was great fun.!! they'd gointo the butchers for chicken and get the lolly they'd be chuffed!!:D

we lived in the country til december and we'd a shop about 1 km away and the eldest used to cycle up to it. I think it's important for a childs confidence to allow them to push a boundry, if they're not able to do it they won't do it. My kids have mobile phones for this purpose.;)

i'm not an irresponsible, person the first few times i let them out i was very nervous but when i look at what i was doing at that age i can't baby them. they're much better off being streetwise and knowing how to get around if they needed to. But it's up to the child too if s/he isn't ready cos of confidence issues maybe meet her halfway.. my brothers stepdaughter is 16 and deliberately gets the wrong bus at times so he'll pick her up or drop her off for handiness sake..she got him wrapped around the finger!!:D

Your kids, your call. But leaving an 9 year old to look after a 5 year old is pretty damn irresponsible if you ask me.

cbyrd

MY 9 year old wasn't looking after a 5 year old .. she was out at 2pm so i picked her up. the 9 year old walked down to my work place at 3pm and as i said it's in a town, a town that has lollypop ladies and pedestrian crossings and all these things that weren't around when i was that age. I used to be sent shopping at age 6 to dunnes and it was more dangerous then cos there weren't any pedestrian crossings in the town then and traffic was a two way system.
I walked with them before hand to make sure they knew the way, they had one road to cross and to be honest i think kids are not given enough space to be independant these days, the perception is there's a child molester or kidnapper around every corner, society is actually a lot more aware of *stranger danger*:rolleyes: and this is well documented that per mile radius the safe space that parents allow they're kids to play/roam/discover in is shrinking year after year but the danger element is not increasing, I trust my children, it's as simple as that. I'm not stupid enough to let them wander without knowing where they are and that they have to check in every 20 or so minutes.
I am responsible for their wellbeing but this also means i have to show them how to function in the world not wrap them up til they're 18 and expect them to go out and know how to do it. Same way i teach them how to shower dress feed cook and clean themselves. I will not allow them go somewhere they have to cross a major road, or cycle without a helmet but i will allow them experiment with the world around them without always looking over their shoulder, this way i hope they learn that the world is not as scary as some will make it out to be
*rant over*:D

cynder

I have a 10 year old who sometimes brings her 4 year old brother to the corner shop, and also plays with him in the estate. (she isnt allowed to bring the 3 year old or bring him out to play, i have to be out if he is out) I see many 3 year olds that are left play outside by themselves.

but i would never do what the mc canns did.

i was left home alone a number of times from 8 upwards. used to walk to and from school (2 mile) on my own from age 9. cycle 5 mile into town from age 14 and of course the 5 mile back. used to hitch hike 45 mile at age 16 to get to my parents house and hitch hike the 45 mile back to where i rented the house.

I think if you had a sheltered life then you would be more prone to shelter your children, but if you been there and done that and all ended well you are more likely to give you children more freedom then those who had sheltered childhoods.

I have a neighbour who only just let her 10 year old travel past the 3rd house down from her house. she wasnt even allowed to call for our 10 year old unless her mom was watching out the window we were the 4th house down. she is now allowed only to pass our house if she is calling for another girl across the green but still has to come straight back and play out infront of her house (the other girl is 8 and has the freedom of half the estate like our 10 year old).

hacked

I honeslty think it's more dangerous to NOT let your child walk home on her own!!!

My sister had cancer when she was small, and for the rest of her life has been completely molly coddled. I find it sad. She was never made do anything on her own, and now she's 19, living at home and still making my parents drive her around the place and give her lifts down to DARTS and bus stops "because it;s dark".

they have to grow up at some point, to take responsibility and learn to do thing on their own. You'll just make things harder for them in the long run if you don't!

Shazanne

Cabaal wrote: »

Used to travel to Dublin on my own when I was around 16 (and thats certainly not 20 years ago), used to spend the day up in Dublin no bother at all. I would say 2km is fine tbh

The perception is now is more dangerous then say the 1980's yet the numbers for different types of events such as kidnapping etc really haven't changed, the only thing that has changed is the media report on every little thing and big it up.

Dont blame the media for everything! Would you rather not know what was going on around you?? The media is just there to keep you informed. They don't, for the most part anyway, make things up to scare people!

On the matter of the 16 year old - I bet she'd love to know her parents have to come onto a forum like this with such a question!! Get real here - they know where they're living, they know the 16 year old involved and they know the world we live in. And, if they dont, then the 16 year old certainly should! Kids must be "street wise" these days - a good education is no good if they cant hold their own in society. Let the girl grow up - she wont thank you otherwise.

Sid_Justice

When I read the title I thought the question referred to after a disco at 2am on a friday night! So in this case, I think so.

LeoB

Shazanne wrote: »

Dont blame the media for everything! Would you rather not know what was going on around you?? The media is just there to keep you informed. They don't, for the most part anyway, make things up to scare people!

On the matter of the 16 year old - I bet she'd love to know her parents have to come onto a forum like this with such a question!! Get real here - they know where they're living, they know the 16 year old involved and they know the world we live in. And, if they dont, then the 16 year old certainly should! Kids must be "street wise" these days - a good education is no good if they cant hold their own in society. Let the girl grow up - she wont thank you otherwise.

Why not blame them, look at the sh*t our newstands are covered in, especially from our tabloid rags. They can and do quite often scaremonger and then hide behind a solicitor.

As for the O.P let the child walk home I dont think its to far in fact maybe a bit of exercise for her. They will as has been stated get a bit street wise and maybe develop their social skills a bit. To many parents are hoovering over the kids and as a result a lot of kids

MoyVilla9

LeoB wrote: »

Why not blame them, look at the sh*t our newstands are covered in, especially from our tabloid rags. They can and do quite often scaremonger and then hide behind a solicitor.

Does anyone actually take the tabloid rags serious? I do hope not

am i bovvered

theg81der wrote: »

Just curious what others think - is it ok to let a 16 year old girl walk home 2 km`s relatively quiet area after school?

I don`t think it is but maybe I`m overly cautious.

If you expect her to be living away in college at 18 then you HAVE to start allowing her to take responsibility for herself now !!

speedscot

I was walking that on my own to school from age of 8 (and this was in a village where a girl had been abducted, raped and murdered by a predator!)

I was catching a train to the big city at weekends for R&R at 15.

I was babysitting 3 younger siblings (youngest handicapped) from 12.

I flew alone to France to stay with complete strangers at 16.

I left home at 17 and moved 300 miles to a new cty, first job etc.

It doesn't mean to say that I will feel comfortable letting my own daughters do the same things and it wouldn't be natural not to worry about their potential vulnerability but they NEED their independence.

If the OP is very worried I suggest taking some sensible steps - give her a rape alarm for example. Make sure she has a charged mobile phone with credit and an emergency number on speed dial so she can attract help if needed. This is illegal but I used to carry a kitchen fork in my pocket (with a handy excuse ready as to why I had it in case I got rustled by the feds). Perfect for stabbing an attacker in the eye if required (it never was).

Fighting Irish

Pics?

Fighting Irish

speedscot wrote: »

I was walking that on my own to school from age of 8 (and this was in a village where a girl had been abducted, raped and murdered by a predator!)

great parents you had

GirlOfGlass

Yes, I think you're being REALLY over cautious. If you're worried about her walking home at the age of 16 then what age will you think it's okay for her to walk home on her own? Besides, it's in the day time! Not saying that it's not dangerous in the day time, but just less of a risk than night.

speedscot

Fighting Irish wrote: »

great parents you had

Yeah, that's been said before But things were different back then I suppose (I am rather old).

Fighting Irish

speedscot wrote: »

Yeah, that's been said before But things were different back then I suppose (I am rather old).

I know they were but the second some pedo child killer was known to be around town, then it's a different story

silja

I grew up in a small town, and walked to kindergarten alone, age 5! Well, there were usually other kids around, but nothing organised. Of course, we also spent our Saturdays in the local forests gathering feathers and playing with mud... I am only 36, not that old!

I do think a lot depends on the local area, but at 16, anyone should be able to walk home alone.

desper8hsewife

My intiial reaction to this is yes. i think that once a child is maybe in secondary school they should be walking home from school no problem alone. maybe in high primary school depending on the child and the area.

I presume the area is a safe one. if there is some risk about the area that you have not mentioned then maybe think about it a bit more. but other than that - yes.

lip

Has the world gone mad???I have a 13 year old that cycles to his friends house 2 miles away every Sat and vice versa.Kids need to have some freedom,whats the alternative?18 year olds,who are old enough to drink,drive,vote,still tied to apron strings?I realise parents will be concerned and worry,but seriously,they need to be shown that they're trusted.People have been saying times have changed and are more dangerous.Yes times have changed,but almost every child over 12 has a mobile phone now and is more street smart than I ever was.
I work with special needs children and 1 of our main aims is to teach independence and responsibility.OP,please let your child have some freedom,she may surprise you and show you that she is a very responsible pre adult.

Fighting Irish

MoyVilla9 wrote: »

Does anyone actually take the tabloid rags serious? I do hope not

I'd say more than 60% of the population

If i'm bored on the jacks i'll flick through a mag and just pick out the hottest chick on each page :pac:

Fighting Irish

lip wrote: »

Has the world gone mad???I have a 13 year old that cycles to his friends house 2 miles away every Sat and vice versa.Kids need to have some freedom,whats the alternative?18 year olds,who are old enough to drink,drive,vote,still tied to apron strings?I realise parents will be concerned and worry,but seriously,they need to be shown that they're trusted.People have been saying times have changed and are more dangerous.Yes times have changed,but almost every child over 12 has a mobile phone now and is more street smart than I ever was.
I work with special needs children and 1 of our main aims is to teach independence and responsibility.OP,please let your child have some freedom,she may surprise you and show you that she is a very responsible pre adult.

I agree with you completely, but if your kid ever went missing just don't turn around and be one of those people who'll blame everyone else

Cookie_Monster

The Op question seems ridiculously over protective to me.

I was walking home by myself from school in 2nd class (7 or 8), just less than 800m granted but still. There is no reason not to let a 16 year old walk home by themselves.

event

speedscot wrote: »

I was walking that on my own to school from age of 8 (and this was in a village where a girl had been abducted, raped and murdered by a predator!)

Denerick

I see everyone is having a good time lamenting the way the country is going in this thread. I'll join the party. For gods sake, let the girl walk home alone! The media overplays this crap because idiots like to pay money for the Sun, the Mirror, the Star, or any of the rest of that filth. The reality is that violent crimes as proportionate to the population has actually decreased in most areas of Britain over the last decade. But this is always overshadowed by the one or two appaling exceptions. Really, what the hell is the world coming to if you won't let a bloody 16 year old walk home alone during the day. Jesus Christ.

EDIT: Ireland is not Britain and I realise that, but its important to have some perspective. The reason why we consider British streets to be knife infested holes of hatred is because the editors of the Sun and ITV news want you to think like that. Cold hard statistics and the 99% of the time in which you don't come across crime doesn't seem to count when some journalistic hack revs up the fear levels for gullible parents.

speedscot

event wrote: »

That did make me chuckle.

On a serious note, however, it was this monster: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Black_(serial_killer)

SugarHigh

If this 9 year old is capable of riding the NY subway then I'm sure your child can handle a 2km walk.
http://www.nysun.com/news/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-subway-alone

MementoMori

Give your child some freedom.

Like others in this thread I assumed it was a 2am in the morning scenario.

Assuming the road is reasonable safe (some country roads are dangerous but at 16 your daughter should be well able to deal with this) she should probably have been walking home for a number of years now.

In less than 2 years your daughter is an adult.

You need to start realising this now.