Foreign Girlfriend hanging out with Irish Girls

LegacyUser

Basically my girlfriend is a foreign national and is becoming very friendly with some Irish girls in her workplace. Now I dont want to offend anyone but I detest her hanging out with Irish girls as I know how Irish girls are and how they cheat and try to get others to do the same so as not to look bad (like irish men get their mates to drink more with them so as not to look bad). The truth is I despise her going out with her Irish collegues as I just feel theyre a bad influence. I am seriously worried whenever shes goes out with them.
Do you think I'd be wrong in saying I dont want her getting to close to any of the Irish colleagues??? I specifically steer clear of Irish girls because I know how much they like to cheat and I dont want my girlfriend being influenced by them.

The Recliner

Just a pre-emptive note on this

You may disagree with the sentiments expressed by the OP but please be civil

Abuse will not be tolerated

liah

If your girlfriend is the type to be that easily influenced, is she the type you want as your girlfriend anyway?

Honestly, you're coming off as far too controlling. She's a separate person from you, she has her own life, her own friends, and her own choices to make. I say good for her for making friends. If she was the type to cheat, she'd probably do it, Irish girls egging her on or not.

Relationships are based on trust, and if you continue on like this I can't see it ending well.

Cop on a little bit.

TitoPuente

Hmmm, I think it's a bit dramatic to say that these Irish girls will try and make your girlfriend cheat when they're out with them. Even if you are very young. I do agree with the general sentiment - the young modern Irish woman values her independence and is very likely, in many cases, to play down her relationship and/or dependence on her significant other in the name of being 'young, free and sassy'. Young women these days have adopted a more male role in society and vice versa and are just as likely to cheat as men. Um, more so from what I've observed actually. Don't shoot me down for saying that though. It depends on the person of course.

My only advice is to see what these girls are like. Are they friendly to you? Is your girlfriend reluctant to introduce you to them or to socialise with them in your company? Has her behaviour changed since she started hanging out with them? Your paranoia may be completely misplaced and, if you don't know these girls, then it's unfair to judge them really. They could be dumb and immature, they could be lovely people. At the end of the day, you can't and certainly shouldn't intervene unless you can justifiably smell a rat.

paperclip2

You sound like you got badly burned OP but the best piece of advice I can give has already been given. Figure out how to trust people again. You will need it if all your relationships, and not just the one with your girlfriend are to succeed.
The fact is that some Irish women cheat, but lots dont, some Polish women cheat and lots dont either. Having such a mistaken and frankly blinkered view of half the population is really immature.

daisybelle2008

If you trust your girlfriend then you do not have to worry. If you feel she would be easily encouraged into cheating, well then a hot foreign guy might talk her into it as easily as an irish girl.
There are lot of charming guys out there who might get her to cheat faster then an irish girl egging her on. Basically you can trust her or you can't. Your issues may end up a self-fullfilling prophecy, your lack of trust will torture yourself and drive her into someones elses arms.

John Mason

irish women cheat
irish men cheat

polish women cheat
polish men cheat

irish women drink too much
irish men drink too much

polish women drink too much
polish men drink too much

op you cannot tar a whole race with one brush. you need to ease up and let your gf have some space, make friends and have a life outside of you.

i am sure your gf has a mind of her own and will be able to make her own decision about whether she is going to drink or cheat on you, without the help of anyone else

krudler

Heres a bit of info, if your girlfriend wants to cheat on you, it wont matter a jot whether shes hanging out with Irish, Polish, American, Kenyan, Australian, Canadian or English girls, she'd do it regardless. Your circle of friends has zero to do with how you'd treat your OH. I know plenty of Irish girls who have never and would never dream of cheating, same as Irish guys, people of every nationality cheat its got nothing to do with where you're from its a mindset. If you're that worried about her going out with these people say it to her, but dont be surprised if she doesnt like the fact you're basically telling her who to hang out with.

kat151283

seriously if your girlfriend wants to cheat she will do it no matter who she hangs around with and another thing dont tar us irish women all with the same brush we dont all cheat.

Smallbit

Perhaps you'd be happier moving to her country where you can exert complete control her interaction with these nasty Irish women?

Barracudaincork

Where is your girlfriend from? Europe, Asia, Americas?

Does she do everything you ask or tell her to do?

Does she appear to not have a mind of her own when it comes to things like dress sense or thoughts re issues in the world?

Have you spoken to her about it?

For the record i dont think your controlling, i think you are insecure and im not going to judge you for that, as i have no idea if you have reason to be or not, try and ignore posters who try to pin point you like they know you, they dont!

mood

krudler wrote: »

Heres a bit of info, if your girlfriend wants to cheat on you, it wont matter a jot whether shes hanging out with Irish, Polish, American, Kenyan, Australian, Canadian or English girls, she'd do it regardless. Your circle of friends has zero to do with how you'd treat your OH. I know plenty of Irish girls who have never and would never dream of cheating, same as Irish guys, people of every nationality cheat its got nothing to do with where you're from its a mindset. If you're that worried about her going out with these people say it to her, but dont be surprised if she doesnt like the fact you're basically telling her who to hang out with.

People cheat because they are selfish, not happy in a relationship etc not because of their sex and/or nationality. Just because an Irish girl may have cheated on you in the past doesn't mean all other would. I am an Irish female and have never cheated on anyone.

I also know very few Irish girls who have cheated and we certainly don't egg each other on. But them I have decent friends. Maybe your ex and her friends were just nasty people you should never have got involved with (assuming you were cheated on). And every man and woman have a mind of there own can can't be talking into cheating. They cheat if they want to.

ash23

I'm Irish as are most of my friends. As far as I am aware none of us are habitual cheaters. I have never cheated on someone. Ever.

We definitely would never "egg each other on" to cheat. In fact, if I thought a friend of mine was about to cheat I'd be more likely to drag her away and have a stern word with her.

Your girlfriend will be very lonely if she is living in a country and not socialising with the natives.

Perhaps try meeting her friends before you decide they are no good for her? That whole judging a person by their nationality is a bit ridiculous.

Emme

I'm Irish and I have Irish and foreign friends. I don't hang around with people who cheat - of any nationality.

The OP sounds far too controlling for his girlfriend's good. Maybe the real reason he doesn't get on with Irish girls is that they don't take his controlling behaviour. He needs to take a good look at himself and his motives in trying to keep his girlfriend away from her Irish friends.

At the end of the day the OPs girlfriend has a right to hang out with whoever she wants. If she's a strong person (and let's hope she is) she will not allow anybody, and that includes the OP, to influence her or boss her around. I wish her luck.

Peggypeg

Wow, well first of all your original post is very very very offensive. I'm Irish, I've never cheated and no one's ever cheated on me and I've never gone out with anyone that's not Irish.

I think you should get councelling to deal with your trust issues and also to work on how you can possibly think you have any right to object to who you partner is friends with. You have serious issues if you think you can ask your girlfriend not to hang out with Irish women, who would you like her to hang out with? The french? They're a very sensual people so they'd probably encourage her to cheat. The Italians? The're a sexy people too, tell you what why not just lock your girlfriend in the house and that way you can be absolutely sure that she won't cheat.

I'm going to stop because I'll get banned if I go on but I would suggest that if you think this badly of an entire nation then the problem is you. You need to cop on and grow up and figure out why you think this way and how to change it, otherwise your girlfriend will leave you and rightly so. God help her.

mood

I agree councelling might be a good idea.

kat151283

Peggypeg wrote: »

Wow, well first of all your original post is very very very offensive. I'm Irish, I've never cheated and no one's ever cheated on me and I've never gone out with anyone that's not Irish.

I think you should get councelling to deal with your trust issues and also to work on how you can possibly think you have any right to object to who you partner is friends with. You have serious issues if you think you can ask your girlfriend not to hang out with Irish women, who would you like her to hang out with? The french? They're a very sensual people so they'd probably encourage her to cheat. The Italians? The're a sexy people too, tell you what why not just lock your girlfriend in the house and that way you can be absolutely sure that she won't cheat.

I'm going to stop because I'll get banned if I go on but I would suggest that if you think this badly of an entire nation then the problem is you. You need to cop on and grow up and figure out why you think this way and how to change it, otherwise your girlfriend will leave you and rightly so. God help her.

I couldnt agree with you more peggypeg he needs to grow up

LegacyUser

ive taken all points on board. ive had an irish girlfriend cheat but thats not the reason i hold this opinion as it had little effect on me. the reason i hold this opinion is because i have seen my friends girlfriends all cheating, my friends that are girls cheating and wen ive been single ive been with girls who tell me d next day they have boyfriends. though it might be a drink issue or something as spanish or italian girls dont get as drunk to put themselves in that position. it does seem almost cool for young irish women to show their independence and act like a lad and cheat and its encouraged by shows like sex n the city and desperate housewives. wen i was travellin around europe with my friend my friend would chat up girls from Poland, Germany etc. and wen they told him they had boyfriends they never strayed but on that same holiday the amount of irish girls my friend got in bed that had boyfriends was astounding. i know i dont want to tar all irish women like that but a hell of a lot of irish women cheat. even stayin in hostel we came across a group of brazilian guys who wer joking about how irish women always have boyfriends but that never stops them.
anyway going off on a rant. basically my girlfriend is always telling me bout how these irish girls in her work are always cheating n everything and i dont want her hanging around with them. i see irish girls in clubs all the time, they knock back drinks like its water and i dont want my girlfriend hanging around with them.

Mighty_Mouse

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Nevyn

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Thaedydal

Nevyn

Op you have a very skewed take on irish women, not all women are like that.
You also seem to have insecurity issues about your relationship.
I suggest you stop trying to focus on stopping your gf from making friends and focus on
strengthening your relationship with her and going over what is acceptable in your relationship for the both of you.

Emme

originalopggb wrote: »

i see irish girls in clubs all the time, they knock back drinks like its water and i dont want my girlfriend hanging around with them.

There are Irish girls who don't hang around in clubs and don't knock back drinks like water. If your girlfriend decides to hang out with her Irish friends that's her choice. It's not up to you to decide who she does or doesn't hang out with.

I agree that Irish women enjoy their independence, but why wouldn't we after centuries of repression from colonisers, the church and some of our menfolk? Unfortunately the repressive attitude towards women hasn't entirely disappeared and the OPs posts bear this out. For this reason I think it is good for the OPs girlfriend to go out with her Irish colleagues. She doesn't have to do everything they do, but getting out from under the OP's thumb will be beneficial.

kat151283

originalopggb wrote: »

ive taken all points on board. ive had an irish girlfriend cheat but thats not the reason i hold this opinion as it had little effect on me. the reason i hold this opinion is because i have seen my friends girlfriends all cheating, my friends that are girls cheating and wen ive been single ive been with girls who tell me d next day they have boyfriends. though it might be a drink issue or something as spanish or italian girls dont get as drunk to put themselves in that position. it does seem almost cool for young irish women to show their independence and act like a lad and cheat and its encouraged by shows like sex n the city and desperate housewives. wen i was travellin around europe with my friend my friend would chat up girls from Poland, Germany etc. and wen they told him they had boyfriends they never strayed but on that same holiday the amount of irish girls my friend got in bed that had boyfriends was astounding. i know i dont want to tar all irish women like that but a hell of a lot of irish women cheat. even stayin in hostel we came across a group of brazilian guys who wer joking about how irish women always have boyfriends but that never stops them.
anyway going off on a rant. basically my girlfriend is always telling me bout how these irish girls in her work are always cheating n everything and i dont want her hanging around with them. i see irish girls in clubs all the time, they knock back drinks like its water and i dont want my girlfriend hanging around with them.

So is that why you got yourself a girlfriend thats foreign because you thought she wouldnt cheat? If it is thats sad. I was cheated on by an ex that was irish but it didnt make me tar all irish men the same my current boyfriend is irish and even if he cheated i still wouldnt think the way you do.If we all thought like you we would get nowhere.

Wagon

Emme wrote: »

I agree that Irish women enjoy their independence, but why wouldn't we after centuries of repression from colonisers, the church and some of our menfolk? Unfortunately the repressive attitude towards women hasn't entirely disappeared and the OPs posts bear this out. For this reason I think it is good for the OPs girlfriend to go out with her Irish colleagues. She doesn't have to do everything they do, but getting out from under the OP's thumb will be beneficial.

All bull****. sorry, but this whole attitude of irish males trying to control their women is completely untrue. I don't think that this is part of the problem with the OP at all and feminist rants don't help. no offence meant or anything.

originalopggb wrote: »

ive taken all points on board. ive had an irish girlfriend cheat but thats not the reason i hold this opinion as it had little effect on me. the reason i hold this opinion is because i have seen my friends girlfriends all cheating, my friends that are girls cheating and wen ive been single ive been with girls who tell me d next day they have boyfriends. though it might be a drink issue or something as spanish or italian girls dont get as drunk to put themselves in that position.

Well, that isn't true. I know women from these areas of the world who sleep with anyone...without drink.

it does seem almost cool for young irish women to show their independence and act like a lad and cheat and its encouraged by shows like sex n the city and desperate housewives.

That depends on the women. There are a lot of geebags out there who do think men are just to be used for a shag and then have the boyfriend who they "love" at home for some comfort. But there's a lot who aren't like that too. The unfortunate thing is that we don't see those nice girls as often because we notice the bitches before everyone else. It works the same both ways, ive seen plenty of blokes cheat on ther girlfriends and they are dickheads. There is a certain type of element in society that acts like this.

the wen i was travellin around europe with my friend my friend would chat up girls from Poland, Germany etc. and wen they told him they had boyfriends

I'll be honest, i've found people from that part of the world a lot nicer.

they never strayed but on that same holiday the amount of irish girls my friend got in bed that had boyfriends was astounding. i know i dont want to tar all irish women like that but a hell of a lot of irish women cheat. even stayin in hostel we came across a group of brazilian guys who wer joking about how irish women always have boyfriends but that never stops them.

Well...its difficult to comment on it really because i do completely see where you're coming from. But i do hold the opinion that not all women from here carry on like that. Too many do, but not all. I just wish we'd see the nice ones more. Also its part of to do with age and immaturity. People go travelling and sleep with people they come across in hostels while keeping the boyfriend at home as back up because they don't want to lose him. This is more common in women in their early 20s ive noticed anyway.

anyway going off on a rant. basically my girlfriend is always telling me bout how these irish girls in her work are always cheating n everything and i dont want her hanging around with them. i see irish girls in clubs all the time, they knock back drinks like its water and i dont want my girlfriend hanging around with them.

I don't think you're girlfriend will be influenced by them that easily. If she moved countries to be with you then there's no bloody way a group of drunken hoors she works with will influence her to cheat on you. I can tell you this because im moving to be with my girlfrined next week. If i worked with a group of lads who were always pulling the women folk, id have a laugh but wouldn't join in. It's just really really stupid to throw away something like that.

Anyway, what got you thinking like this in the first place? Is your bird easily influenced or something?

mood

Thaedydal wrote: »

Op you have a very skewed take on irish women, not all women are like that.
You also seem to have insecurity issues about your relationship.
I suggest you stop trying to focus on stopping your gf from making friends and focus on
strengthening your relationship with her and going over what is acceptable in your relationship for the both of you.

I agree 100%.

I think the fact that you seem to think your girlfriend could be so easily influenced shows a lack of respect for her. Surely if you have a good relationship and trust her this would not be an issue.

Also maybe you need to choose your friends more carefully. I have never in my life come across the type of girls you describe above.

krudler

originalopggb wrote: »

ive taken all points on board. ive had an irish girlfriend cheat but thats not the reason i hold this opinion as it had little effect on me. the reason i hold this opinion is because i have seen my friends girlfriends all cheating, my friends that are girls cheating and wen ive been single ive been with girls who tell me d next day they have boyfriends. though it might be a drink issue or something as spanish or italian girls dont get as drunk to put themselves in that position. it does seem almost cool for young irish women to show their independence and act like a lad and cheat and its encouraged by shows like sex n the city and desperate housewives. wen i was travellin around europe with my friend my friend would chat up girls from Poland, Germany etc. and wen they told him they had boyfriends they never strayed but on that same holiday the amount of irish girls my friend got in bed that had boyfriends was astounding. i know i dont want to tar all irish women like that but a hell of a lot of irish women cheat. even stayin in hostel we came across a group of brazilian guys who wer joking about how irish women always have boyfriends but that never stops them.
anyway going off on a rant. basically my girlfriend is always telling me bout how these irish girls in her work are always cheating n everything and i dont want her hanging around with them. i see irish girls in clubs all the time, they knock back drinks like its water and i dont want my girlfriend hanging around with them.

Those are American shows, whats that got to do with Irish women cheating, are you Irish yourself?

LegacyUser

If your GF is going to cheat, she will cheat, nothing you can do, so no point worrying about it. If you don't trust her, then that's another story. If you trust her, good for you.

I never came across as much cheating as I did in Italy and France, where it's nearly considered par for the course to have a bit on the side, and I lived in both countries...

People are people. I would have had a really suspect opinion of Irish women for years as well, due to the fact I seemed to have more luck with foreign women. But the problem wasn't Irish women, it was me. Then I started to have some luck with Irish women.

Sharlovesjohn

If your girlfriend is pushed into cheating on you like you fear then what does that say about her?
I have never cheater and nevr intend too, these 'irish girls' you describe maybe young and foolish but you dont know the relationships they are in you dont know what kind of people they are. Thats their lifestyle choice not yours or your girlfriends and if you make it clear your girlfriend has to run her friends by you first then your going to end up losing her anyway.

mood

krudler wrote: »

Those are American shows, whats that got to do with Irish women cheating, are you Irish yourself?

They are also fiction. No comedy/drama/movie would be entertaining if everyone lived normal lives.

WHat age are you OP? You sound very young.

iguana

krudler wrote: »

Those are American shows, whats that got to do with Irish women cheating,

Not only that, but I can only remember one of the women in Sex and the City ever cheating, and her friends were far from impressed and the whole thing ended in tears. And she ended up married to the guy she cheated with, so it wasn't as if she was out on the town every night getting up on whoever, it was a bad timing and bad choices type of thing.

OP, you quite clearly hang out in the wrong circles, with the wrong people. And as a result have developed a scewed perspective. The thing is there has to be a big part of you that knows this is crap and as a result you are grasping at some pretty weak straws to justify your argument. I agree with the posters who think you are insecure and controlling. I think counselling would be a big benefit to you if you ever want to be able to maintain a healthy relationship.

iguana

Something has just occurred to me. OP, can I ask what your motivation for coming on an Irish board, to a forum which has a very high amount of female users, who are mostly Irish in order to discuss your distorted view of Irish women? Was it a subconscious desire to be told that your views are nonsense so you can start to adjust your prejudices?

I can't imagine that you thought many Irish women or men who are in long-term relationships with Irish women, which possibly makes up the majority of the PI/RI posters, would tell you you are in the right and need to keep your gf away from her new friends.

LegacyUser

I came here to see if it would be terribly wrong to tell her how I feel.
Also to see if i was right in feeling this way.

LegacyUser

Wagon wrote: »

Anyway, what got you thinking like this in the first place? Is your bird easily influenced or something?

No but i know how eager she is to please these irish girls who have been ignoring her until recently. they were telling her they always thought she was nice but wudnt be the type to let her hair down and drink with them and she is so excited about hanging out with them. all of them that have boyfriends cheat quite regularly apparently. i really dont want her hanging out with them. its not that i dont trust my girlfriend i just think that i dont want her in a situation where shes as drunk as irish girls normally get and all these irish girls are chatting and laughin about their conquests and encouragin my girlfriend

iguana

originalopggb wrote: »

I came here to see if it would be terribly wrong to tell her how I feel.
Also to see if i was right in feeling this way.

Really? Because if you have such a low view of Irish women why ask Irish women, or the partners of Irish women for their views? Think it through for a minute. The Irish women are either going to honestly tell you to get a grip and cop on, or if they are the type of women you think they are lie to you. They aren't going to tell you you've got their number and you better keep your sweet innocent foreign gf away from their nasty influence. The partners of Irish women are hardly going to tell you how right you are and if only they had your insight they wouldn't be the cuckolded fools they are today.

Perhaps I am giving you far, far more credit than you deserve, but surely the responses you would get were obvious. I think you know your views about Irish women are misogynist nonsense and you were looking for people to talk sense into you so that you wouldn't sabotage your current relationship.

mood

Boards.ie is not just for couples. I think there are loads of single people here (male and female) who have given fair and honest comments. Also I often see posts for people who are not Irish.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

gavney1

originalopggb wrote: »

I came here to see if it would be terribly wrong to tell her how I feel.
Also to see if i was right in feeling this way.

I don't know where your coming from tbh. Yeah, I've known a handful of girls who cheat, but at the same time they're generally saps anyway. Apart from enjoying the act itself (which is the part I can understand) they seem to actually think it's pretty "cool". They're also usually quite vocal about how they are "independent" etc... but they also seem quite unhappy and unstable.

I know one woman very well (my flatmate) who is like this, and I know she's a very unhappy person. She constantly cheats on her bf (which I don't think he's aware of) but will give out **** to him for even commenting on another girls looks!

But these women only make up about 1% of the Irish female population.

Btw I really think your opening post was unfair and sounds suspciously troll-like

sexdwarf

ggbr wrote: »

Basically my girlfriend is a foreign national and is becoming very friendly with some Irish girls in her workplace. Now I dont want to offend anyone but I detest her hanging out with Irish girls as I know how Irish girls are and how they cheat and try to get others to do the same so as not to look bad (like irish men get their mates to drink more with them so as not to look bad). The truth is I despise her going out with her Irish collegues as I just feel theyre a bad influence. I am seriously worried whenever shes goes out with them.
Do you think I'd be wrong in saying I dont want her getting to close to any of the Irish colleagues??? I specifically steer clear of Irish girls because I know how much they like to cheat and I dont want my girlfriend being influenced by them.

Ok OP, gross generalisations aside, who are you to decide on your girlfriend's relationships with other women? You are her boyfriend and not her keeper/father/moral guide. You have NO say in who she chooses to befriend. You may not like her hanging around with women of a certain race/nationality but that is your issue to deal with. You would be very wrong to try and tell her who she may and may not get close to. You will not keep any self respecting woman around for long that way.

On a side note, I am an Irish woman who has never, and would never cheat. Neither do I drink excessively or force my friends to do same for any reason .None of my sisters, family or friends who are Irish have ever cheated. It sounds like you've had a bad experience in the past. Try to deal with this prejudice instead of attempting to control another adult person's life and choices.

Barracudaincork

OP a lot of people have come on here slating you saying your controlling etc etc Have you wondered how many of these people have not been happy with their partners choices of friends? I have heard from many an Irish women and a handful of Irish men that they dont like their partners friends, they are a bad influenece on their partner, they drink too much etc etc I am going to ask you to ignore the holier than thou people and focus on the average person on the streets view, after all im sure that is the view you can relate to more, unless of course you are also holier than thou

So i will ask my original questions again:

Does she do everything you ask or tell her to do?

Does she appear to not have a mind of her own when it comes to things like dress sense or thoughts re issues in the world?

Have you spoken to her about it?

mood

Barracudaincork wrote: »

OP a lot of people have come on here slating you saying your controlling etc etc Have you wondered how many of these people have not been happy with their partners choices of friends? I have heard from many an Irish women and a handful of Irish men that they dont like their partners friends, they are a bad influenece on their partner, they drink too much etc etc I am going to ask you to ignore the holier than thou people and focus on the average person on the streets view, after all im sure that is the view you can relate to more, unless of course you are also holier than thou

So i will ask my original questions again:

Does she do everything you ask or tell her to do?

Does she appear to not have a mind of her own when it comes to things like dress sense or thoughts re issues in the world?

Have you spoken to her about it?

His main problem seems to be the fact that these girls are Irish. Not a logical reason IMHO.

Why would you want to know if she do everything OP ask or tell her to do? It seems a very strange question. Why should she or anyone else do what the OP asks or tells them to do?

Also why do you ask if she appear to not have a mind of her own when it comes to things like dress sense or thoughts re issues in the world? Again very strange question.

gavney1

Barracudaincork wrote: »

OP a lot of people have come on here slating you saying your controlling etc etc Have you wondered how many of these people have not been happy with their partners choices of friends? I have heard from many an Irish women and a handful of Irish men that they dont like their partners friends, they are a bad influenece on their partner, they drink too much etc etc I am going to ask you to ignore the holier than thou people and focus on the average person on the streets view, after all im sure that is the view you can relate to more, unless of course you are also holier than thou

The only question the OP asked in his original post was

"Do you think I'd be wrong in saying I dont want her getting to close to any of the Irish colleagues???"

The responses can only be either criticism (e.g. "yes, you're wrong, you're too controlling") or support (e.g. "No, Irish women are spas, keep your gf away from them")

I don't think it's fair to call people "holier than thou" for directly responding to his question.

It just so happens (unsurprisingly) that most people are criticizing.

Barracudaincork

mood wrote: »

Why would you want to know if she do everything OP ask or tell her to do? It seems a very strange question. Why should she or anyone else do what the OP asks or tells them to do?

Also why do you ask if she appear to not have a mind of her own when it comes to things like dress sense or thoughts re issues in the world? Again very strange question.

Why i ask? Well if she is easily led by all around her, dresses the same, thinks the same and acts the same and is easily influenced by others around her and doesnt have a mind of her own, then i can see why the OP would think the way he does (regardless if his thoughts are right or wrong). If she does everything the OP asked then yet this shows she doesnt think clearly and independently by herself.

If the OP came back saying she has no mind of her own and is easily led, i can see why he would be concerned re the company she keeps. However if she is an independant women who can think for herself, then the OP has nothing to worry about and he shouldnt doubt her.

Barracudaincork

gavney1 wrote: »

The only question the OP asked in his original post was

"Do you think I'd be wrong in saying I dont want her getting to close to any of the Irish colleagues???"

The responses can only be either criticism (e.g. "yes, you're wrong, you're too controlling") or support (e.g. "No, Irish women are spas, keep your gf away from them")

I don't think it's fair to call people "holier than thou" for directly responding to his question.

It just so happens (unsurprisingly) that most people are criticizing.

There can be other responses than the ones you stated above and in responsing the poster can choose to simply say its right or wrong without adding the extra bits. Most posters said stuff re the OP without even thinking hang on what is the girl like, does he have reason to beleive she can be easily led.

I also think more posters had an issue with him saying irish women cheat, than they did with him "controlling" her. As usual when you tar everyone with the same brush, you get this back lash.................and i agree with back lash when people are tarred with the same brush, but the back lash often takes away from the issue at hand.

I say people are holier than thou, because thats what i feel, you feel differently and i respect that, i have no issue we dont think the same re this.

iguana

mood wrote: »

Boards.ie is not just for couples. I think there are loads of single people here (male and female) who have given fair and honest comments.

Who ever said boards was just for couples. I said that Irish women and men in relationships with Irish women possibly make up the majority of users on the PI/RI forums. And it's pretty obvious that their fair and honest comments are unlikely to support the OP's prejudices against them or their partners. So it's interesting that the OP chose to ask about this issue here.

Put it this way, if his girlfriend was starting to make friends with a group of Italian women and he was uncomfortable about it, going to an internet forum dominated by Italians would be a strange place to ask if he should stop her seeing them. Unless of course on some subconscious level he wanted people to dispel his fears and tell him to stop trying to control who his gf is friends with.

Barracudaincork

sunflower27 wrote: »

It's one thing to copy styles of clothing and hair; it's a huge leap to cheating just because 'apparently' all Irish girls are at it. :rolleyes:

Copying clothes and hair etc screams of someone who cant stand on their own two feet! Clones of each other is not normal if you ask me. Granted it is a huge leap to cheating, doesnt mean the leap cant be leapt!

I can also see why the OP thinks this re Irish girls as he is using is own experiences and those of his friends, i have never and will never say he is right in what he thinks, but at least i can see it ...........

mood

iguana wrote: »

Something has just occurred to me. OP, can I ask what your motivation for coming on an Irish board, to a forum which has a very high amount of female users, who are mostly Irish in order to discuss your distorted view of Irish women? Was it a subconscious desire to be told that your views are nonsense so you can start to adjust your prejudices?

I can't imagine that you thought many Irish women or men who are in long-term relationships with Irish women, which possibly makes up the majority of the PI/RI posters, would tell you you are in the right and need to keep your gf away from her new friends.

You have said here that women or men who are in long-term relationships with Irish women, which possibly makes up the majority of the PI/RI posters. I agree that there are a lot but don't agree that they possibly make up the majority. I think it is more likely a mix of the sexes in various kinds of relationships and a lot of single people.

iguana

mood wrote: »

You have said here that women or men who are in long-term relationships with Irish women, which possibly makes up the majority of the PI/RI posters. I agree that there are a lot but don't agree that they possibly make up the majority. I think it is more likely a mix of the sexes in various kinds of relationships and a lot of single people.

No, I said Irish women (single or in a relationship) and men who were in a relationship with an Irish woman. Irish women as they are the ones being disparaged and the men who would be in a relationship with Irish women as to conclude the OP's prejudices they are all cuckolds.

And I do suspect that if you counted all of the Irish women, and all of the men in a relationship with an Irish woman it could very easily be the majority of posters who post regularly in PI/RI.

Wagon

originalopggb wrote: »

No but i know how eager she is to please these irish girls who have been ignoring her until recently. they were telling her they always thought she was nice but wudnt be the type to let her hair down and drink with them and she is so excited about hanging out with them.

I can understand that. It's nice when you make new friends in a new country.

all of them that have boyfriends cheat quite regularly apparently. i really dont want her hanging out with them.

She obviously told you this about them. Look at it this way, what if she kept quiet about it? And tried to hide this fact from you? Wouldn't that be a lot more suspicious? Anyway, she's just happy to know more people given that she's moved to a new country etc... and i bet she knew people like these girls back in her own country too. I don't think she'll be easily led.

its not that i dont trust my girlfriend i just think that i dont want her in a situation where shes as drunk as irish girls normally get and all these irish girls are chatting and laughin about their conquests and encouragin my girlfriend

That doesn't mean she'll act on it though. Hell it doesn't even mean that these girls might even encourage it. People have told me im too young to be a serious relationship and i should be single and sleep with loads of different women etc... I don't want to. Simple as that. She's probably the same. She'd want to be if she took the effort to move to a different country.

mood

OP if she is a nice girl I seriously don't think she would cheat to impress these girls. And being drunk is not why people drink. It's an excuse.

Has she any other friends here? If not maybe she should take up some sport or hobby to meet people that she may have more in common with. That said I'm sure she can go out with them, have a few drinks, a laugh and not cheat. If not them she is not the girl you thought she was.

Toots

OP have you actually met any of these girls?

ztoical

ggbr wrote: »

Do you think I'd be wrong in saying I dont want her getting to close to any of the Irish colleagues???

Now could on and on about judging people and assuming things about them but that in fact has nothing to do with this thread. The OP is free to think what ever he wants about whomever he wants no matter how silly it is.

The question is does he have the right to tell his girlfriend not to see these girls and the answer OP is no she is your girlfriend and not your property.

Do you have to run all your friends past her for approval?