How many have you / would you like?

Khannie

I know it's been done before, but I think it's worth asking again every once in a while. You know...people change.

We have 3 now. I'd like at least 1 more, probably would want 2 more but age will be a consideration so we'll play it by ear.

You?

Nevyn

I have 2, can't say I really wanted any but here we are and I don't want any more.

Ickle Magoo

Have two and was warned after my last pregnancy that I shouldn't have any more - which is fine, because we don't want any more anyway!

bogtotty

I have one. I never really wanted any when I was younger, but since the wee man was born I'd like to have five or six more. Age, finances and career prospects being what they are, we'll have two more, all going well. I don't care about the boy/girl mix either, just want three children.

ebmma

Have 1st one on the way so it is all purely theoretical
But I would like to have at least one more because don't want my son to be an only child and can't imagine the whole parenting lark is going to be horrible enough that I change my mind.

OH is from a family of 7 and would like the whole herd of kids and I would in principle be up for it, but I guess only time will tell.

LegacyUser

We have 2 kids. Only 18 months between them. I wanted a third and am raging we didnt go again with the same age gap between them but time has moved on. Think I will always regret not having a 3rd.

Wantobe

We have two. I wanted to go for another shortly after number two was born but my husband didn't. I accepted that with good grace. Now the youngest is 4 and I can't imagine going back to sleepless nights again, but if it happened ( which is unlikely) so be it.

mariaf24

We have one, would love one more. If money, career and other things weren't an issue i would love 3 but i think it's very irresponsible to have more kids than you can afford :eek: It's a very personal choice isn't it...

kelle

I have 3, one boy and two girls. I never had a sister, so I am so pleased my girls have one. I'm hitting 40 soon, so any more is definitely out of the question - I'm looking forward to getting on in my career.

cynder

2 boys 1 girl. 3 years ago said would ahve another in 5 years, well its still another 5 years....

am happy with what i have.

RealistSpy

I have 1 boy but I would like to have 7 but the lady told me to dream on so 3 max I need a daddy's lil princess

sarahlulu

I have three beautiful little girls, and now that I have a full set, I am finished. People tell me 'never say never' but there will definitely be no more!!

I had two. Swore I'd never have any more. Unfortunately they died in an accident. I had another because I didn't really know what else to do! She is now 5 and I am besotted with her. I would happily never ever have another child but I don't want my daughter to be an only child. My body is fecked though, haven't had a period in years. Came of depovera 18 months ago. So now waiting on an apt to get that looked at. If all goes well I would hope to be pregnant in the summer but that seems too easy. I'm absolutely dreading sleepless nights and dirty nappies again. :pac: Also terrified of things going wrong etc but guess it has to be done.

Drama

cbyrd

i have 3 ...2 girls and a boy..i would love another 1.. but my husband is adamant about going for the snip... i think if i even suggested it he'd have me committed!! our youngest is just 7 weeks today :eek::D but i really really want another...

cbyrd

cbyrd wrote: »

our youngest is just 7 weeks today :eek::D but i really really want another...

:pac: Fair play! I think I'd be the one giving him the snip at that stage

Kalimah

I have 4- two boys and two girls. I would happily have had 4 more except for the lack of money and an enormous house and live in maids!

cbyrd

I know it's a bit sad, but he's such a happy baby i'd love him to have a playmate .. his sisters are 11 and 7, and i've given up work for good and it's so different this time round, i have time to enjoy him, and also when i'm pregnant i don't have to worry about my waistline!!! hahaha lame:D

KittyeeTrix

We have 4 children, 3 boys and a girl. Only planned for one:eek: Hubby got the snip about 4 years ago so we are definitely done. The youngest is 8 and I'm starting to get broody as he is exiting that "young " stage. I knew this would happen with me and that was why we decided to go for the snip at the time when I knew I didn't want anymore. So to fill that "gap" I went back to college and am now in 2nd year of my science degree. Hopefully I will go on to do a Masters and so by time the littlest is 12 and my eldest is 20 I'll be ready to go out into the big bad workforce world....

Well, that's the plan anyway;)

deisemum

I have 2 boys, my younger lad is 12 and I'd hate to have another, jaysus the thoughts of it at my age would be unbearable.

Being the eldest of 9 I wouldn't inflict a large family on my lads.

CathyMoran

Waiting to pop now, it has been not been easy for us to have a child (even though all my husband has to do is look at me and I am pregnant!) as we have had miscarriages and other issues but I would still love another 2...ask me again when our son is born...I only have one sybling so I feel that I lost out but having a big family is not me either.

Quality

I have 3 so far, Girl(10) and two boys (4 & 1). I am really wrestling in my mind on whether to have another one or not.

I love my children, I love when they are babies.

Ask me in another 6 months, hopefully I will have decided by then!

Khannie

Quality wrote: »

I love my children, I love when they are babies.

Hehe. Yeah, the only way I know for sure I want another is that we were out for a meal the other night (god bless the in-laws) and she said "you know...if this is the last you'd better enjoy all the stages" and that freaked me out. Her too.

Khannie

mariaf24 wrote: »

i think it's very irresponsible to have more kids than you can afford :eek:

How would you decide that a person (yourself included) had reached that point though? Genuine question. I'm not trying to trap you or whatever.

Nobody's gonna go hungry in Ireland because there are too many children in a family like. For me it's a tradeoff between what I'd call the "high end comforts" and the benefits of having an extra child. So maybe we can't afford such a nice holiday if we have an extra child, or maybe we have to eat out less, or maybe the kids don't get nike's or whatever, but I'll get an extra hug when I walk in the door, and they'll have someone to play with, etc..

I think childcare becomes prohibitively expensive beyond 2 children anyway unless you're both on a very serious wage and therefore ceases to be a problem (i.e. for most people you have to have one of the parents at home if the number of children is 3 or more so there is no extra childcare cost for an extra child at that point).

But....like I said in another thread there recently, I don't think there's a breaking point financially (in fact, I'm surprised it's such a big consideration for so many, though maybe that's naivity on my part ).

littlebug

we have two and are happy with that. I love the ages they are now (5/7) and couldn't go back to the baby stage now. I'm too old anyway :D

Quality

Good point Khannie,
I dont see how having money or not having money can make you irresponsible?

Should only rich people breed?

ash23

I have one, she wasn't planned. I always wanted another fairly shortly after I had her and I would've been happy with two.
But ex dragged his heels and then we split so she's 7 now and I'm single.

Due to the age gap I'd say if I go again I'll want two more, so 3 in total.

ash23

Quality wrote: »

Good point Khannie,
I dont see how having money or not having money can make you irresponsible?

Should only rich people breed?

Agreed. I'm flat broke most of the time but my daughter is loved and cared for and I'm a good mother even though I was also broke when I had her.

3DataModem

I have 2... both six weeks old.

In theory would like more but wife not so sure!

CathyMoran

I have see big families and it always seems that some kids get lost and do not get enough of their parents affection, some can feel like they were just there to look after the home/other kids...for me I want to devote as much individual attention to my child/kids (if we are lucky) as possible.

Khannie

Quality wrote: »

Should only rich people breed?

LOL.

CathyMoran wrote: »

I have see big families and it always seems that some kids get lost and do not get enough of their parents affection, some can feel like they were just there to look after the home/other kids...for me I want to devote as much individual attention to my child/kids (if we are lucky) as possible.

Yeah, that's another thing completely. It's one of the things that would stop us wanting a very large family (more than 5). Of course there are benefits as well as down sides for the kids (lots of people to play with, people to look out for them in school, more toys to share, etc. etc.). I'm not having trouble sharing affection with 3 so far (though it's *very* early days) though I'm finding I have been more conscious of it.

stovelid

Have one and another due in July.

The End.

LittleBook

ash23 wrote: »

I have one, she wasn't planned.

Me too

I would have wanted more when I was younger but didn't meet the love of my life until I was past the point of no return.

He had a baby who died and swore he'd never have children so it suits both of us. But he's a fantastic step-dad and we're seriously considering fostering when my daughter is a little older.

mariaf24

OP i think you misunderstood what i meant about it being irresponsible to have more children than you can afford. I mean when i think of having a child i don't just think of having a baby...It's a person for life. University fees for 4 children? That kind of thing. (Of course if they choose to go to university)
I think the most important thing any parent can give their child is no doubt love but nobody can argue that it would be a good idea to have more kids that you can financially support surely?
We all watch things as parents, less trips to the cinema, No holiday this year but i meant being downright careless as to how many you would have.

Nasty_Girl

I would like 1 or 2.

I grew up in a family of 4 kids and while I adore my brother and sisters I don't think I could cope with 3 or 4 kids myself.

Everything costs money, from a people carrier vs a regular car, a house with a nice converted attic, a bigger sofa, new school books every year because of changing syllabuses, braces, glasses, college etc

How would I pay for all this ... with a job, which means less attention for 4 kids.

Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, my parents had three jobs between them (4 if you count the housework) I just wouldn't want it for myself.

My OH wants 2 kids, because like most eldests, he wants to recreate what he had growing up.

barbiegirl

At 35 I don't think I can have the four I'd like, especially as we're having trouble getting to number one. I'm one of six and we had a fantastic life where yes we learned the value of money at a young age and also responsibility but I don't think it did us any harm.
Kids need love, clothes, food and education. The other stuff we convince ourselves they need like their own room, wardrobes of designer gear, trips to Europe, private school, they really don't. As my mum always says, you find a way :-)

CathyMoran

Nasty_Girl wrote: »

I would like 1 or 2.

I grew up in a family of 4 kids and while I adore my brother and sisters I don't think I could cope with 3 or 4 kids myself.

Everything costs money, from a people carrier vs a regular car, a house with a nice converted attic, a bigger sofa, new school books every year because of changing syllabuses, braces, glasses, college etc

How would I pay for all this ... with a job, which means less attention for 4 kids.

Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, my parents had three jobs between them (4 if you count the housework) I just wouldn't want it for myself.

My OH wants 2 kids, because like most eldests, he wants to recreate what he had growing up.

Interesting, I thought that 3 would be a great number as I really wanted an extra sibling growing up...am really hoping that our son (coming soon) is not an only child...there was a big age gap between us and I always wanted another sibling closer in age.

Quality

barbiegirl wrote: »

As my mum always says, you find a way :-)

Thats a good quote!!

When you have children you make a lot of sacrifices. But you do it cause you love them.

There will always be food on the table..

Nevyn

The thing is we have moved on to an age were food on the table isn't enough and we have expectations of a certain standard of living and wanting to have our children as educted as possible so they can create good lives for themselves. All of which means money to pay for the extras which are music lessons, sports ect and so that our kids don't struggle to work part time jobs like some of us had to in leaving cert years or final years in college.

Nasty_Girl

But it's not even about luxuries like private school , music lessons etc.

I needed braces as does my younger sister.
My brother needed them but opted not to.
So that's 3 out of the 4 of us that needed braces that cost money.

All three of us girls need glasses since we were 12.

My brother went to college a year before my parents expected he would etc things like that

But if I ended up giving birth to quads of course I would love and care for them all and no matter what happened and came our way we'd get by and they've be the most loved kids in the world

I love my brother and sisters and if I won the euromillions maybe I'd feel different about the amount of children I'd like.
I'm not looking down on anyone who wants a big family at all, I just wouldn't choose it for myself right now.

Quality

Nasty_Girl wrote: »

But it's not even about luxuries like private school , music lessons etc.

I needed braces as does my younger sister.
My brother needed them but opted not to.
So that's 3 out of the 4 of us that needed braces that cost money.

All three of us girls need glasses since we were 12.

But if I ended up giving birth to quads of course I would love and care for them all and no matter what happened and came our way we'd get by and they've be the most loved kids in the world

I'm not looking down on anyone who wants a big family at all, I just wouldn't choose it for myself right now.

If you knew how to work the system, you could have got your braces from the HSE free of charge.

Ireland is a good country for benefits, but you have to fight for them.

I think that there is virtue in having a part time job and paying your own way as a teenager, I believe it is a good practice and that it instills the hard working gene into our kids. Kids appreciate money more when they have to work for it.

mariaf24

Quality wrote: »

If you knew how to work the system, you could have got your braces from the HSE free of charge.

Ireland is a good country for benefits, but you have to fight for them.

Now that there. Bang on. That terrible irresponsible Irish attitude. Have 4 kids and let the tax payer foot the bill?
That is the irresponsible attitude i meant.

Wow, i knew this attitude existed but it's still mind blowing to see it written by someone.

Nasty_Girl

Quality wrote: »

If you knew how to work the system, you could have got your braces from the HSE free of charge.

Ireland is a good country for benefits, but you have to fight for them.

I think that there is virtue in having a part time job and paying your own way as a teenager, I believe it is a good practice and that it instills the hard working gene into our kids. Kids appreciate money more when they have to work for it.

Yes, we had part time jobs and fulltime during summers and that is something I would encourage my own kids to do even if I was a millionaire.

With regard to the braces thing and benefits,
Trust me if it would've worked for us it would have been done.

I'm not gonna get into a whole thing about it. All I'm saying is there's things like that you can't plan for.
And while I did not suffer as I child in anyway I just choose not to have a big family, That is all.

Quality

mariaf24 wrote: »

Quality wrote: »

If you knew how to work the system, you could have got your braces from the HSE free of charge.

Ireland is a good country for benefits, but you have to fight for them.

Now that there. Bang on. That terrible irresponsible Irish attitude. Have 4 kids and let the tax payer foot the bill?
That is the irresponsible attitude i meant.

Wow, i knew this attitude existed but it's still mind blowing to see it written by someone.

Excuse me, how is this irresponsible?

This is a benefit put in place by the Irish Government to all tax payers who are covered by their PRSI contributions. Why pay PRSI if you cannot benefit from it.


Children are assessed in primary school in first, fourth and sixth class. The dentist visits the school and if dental work is required they are referred to their local clinic for a visit to the dentist.

What is soo mind blowing about that?

mariaf24

Quality wrote: »

mariaf24 wrote: »

Excuse me, how is this irresponsible?

This is a benefit put in place by the Irish Government to all tax payers who are covered by their PRSI contributions. Why pay PRSI if you cannot benefit from it.


Children are assessed in primary school in first, fourth and sixth class. The dentist visits the school and if dental work is required they are referred to their local clinic for a visit to the dentist.

What is soo mind blowing about that?

You said about working the system and ireland being a good country for benefits.

Quality

mariaf24 wrote: »

Quality wrote: »

You said about working the system and ireland being a good country for benefits.

It is a good country for benefits.

Dental Benefits are among one of the benefits that we are very lucky to have.

I dont see the point in families being ripped off by private dental practises when the HSE provides free orthodental services when you are covered by PRSI.

CathyMoran

For me the priceless thing that I am giving my son is his dad who has hugged him from the moment that we know he was on the way and who will be a great father...

I cant see the docs realistically allowinng me to have more kids but if we could that will be a blessing...no matter how ill I have been for this pregnancy it pales with the love I feel for our son, nobody told me that the kicks would be so amazing.

Nasty_Girl

Quality wrote: »

I dont see the point in families being ripped off by private dental practises when the HSE provides free orthodental services when you are covered by PRSI.

Well you see it gets complicated when you live in Wexford, have to wait 22 months to visit a consultant in Dublin on a weekday morning etc.
Yes it's there but it doesn't always work out.

In our situation it worked out better to pay for two of us. But it's not something we all planned would happen, thats the only point I'm trying to make.
We didn't go hungry because of it or anything.

Also I'm not sure about Civil Servants and PRSI but that's a subject for another thread I think.

mariaf24

CathyMoran wrote: »

For me the priceless thing that I am giving my son is his dad who has hugged him from the moment that we know he was on the way and who will be a great father...

I cant see the docs realistically allowinng me to have more kids but if we could that will be a blessing...no matter how ill I have been for this pregnancy it pales with the love I feel for our son, nobody told me that the kicks would be so amazing.

I think the most precious and amazing love there is is the love a mother feels for her unborn child. I would have walked the earth for my daughter before i had ever even looked in her eyes. Before i even knew she was a girl! Cathy enjoy these months with your baby while he is all yours. When he is born you will love him like you never knew, but you will miss the time of wonder and the security you could give him or those months.

Das Kitty

I have a 3 week old so the amount of kids I want changes hourly! It goes from 2 more to no more to not even wanting this one .

I'll get back to you in a month or so!

CathyMoran

mariaf24 wrote: »

I think the most precious and amazing love there is is the love a mother feels for her unborn child. I would have walked the earth for my daughter before i had ever even looked in her eyes. Before i even knew she was a girl! Cathy enjoy these months with your baby while he is all yours. When he is born you will love him like you never knew, but you will miss the time of wonder and the security you could give him or those months.

He is very attached to his daddy too, he will be quiet and then his daddy touches him and he kicks away, he also loves playing tap with him...am already calling him a daddys boy.

I think that our time is the most valuable thing that we can give to our children which again limits the number of children we can have.

mariaf24

That's amazing Cathy. Also very true about time.

So the general feedback in this forum is that most would like several children but realistically would stop at 2-3. Financial reasons being the main factor as well as many women mentioning career etc.
Enjoying reading responses as i did my thesis around this area.