Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Hugo Stiglitz

Have been very stressed lately due to a project in college. I'm utterly lost in school and it's really stressing me out. The stress brings on the usual panic, anxiety and a very low mood.

I was actually on the verge of bawling my eyes out in front of a lecturer at a simple calm meeting this afternoon. I had to make an excuse to leave and weep in a bathroom cubicle. Just how pathetic is that seriously.

I'm so emotional now because of it all. I can't even talk to my father about it without welling up. Same thing when I rang up my clinic's secretary to arrange an appointment (could do a separate rant about that).

I was doing good in college and now of all times this stupid ****ing thing rears its ugly head again. :mad::(

Chiquitita

I feel for you Hugo.

Absolutely no shame in crying, one whatsoever. Kinda therapeutic really.

It really is an absolute kick in the soul having this anxiety/depression/whatever the f*ck it's called.

LanaFey

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time Hugo college can be very stressful and anxiety/depression doesn't help in the slightest.

I broke down crying three times today I just feel so anxious and low, and can't stop doing things compulsively like checking my phone and refreshing Facebook constantly over and over even though it just makes me increasingly stressed out. I tried keeping myself busy and distracted but it just didn't work. My stomach hurts, my head is pounding, I'm exhausted but I really don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight.

My GP gave me a number for a psychotherapist last time I was there and strongly recommended her to me, I didn't ring her because she was very expensive but I think I might do it tomorrow. I don't mind cutting out things or eating beans on toast for dinner if it means I can start taking steps towards feeling like a normal human being! The other counsellor was more affordable but I still haven't heard anything back from her.

Sorry everyone, I feel like I'm being awfully whiny today.

Even if I could talk to a friend about this I feel like it might help alleviate something but it seems like everyone I know is so busy at the moment, there's so few people I'd be close enough to talk to about this and I can't seem to get one on one time with any of them. Maybe at the weekend...

Chiquitita

Lana, you can tell us we're all here trying to deal with these sh*tty feelings so we feel for you.

Type it all out!

Regarding your psychotherapist, from what I hear they're now more open minded with payment, you could discuss your payment options with them, no harm in asking

Hope that you get some sleep tonight!

P.S has anyone noticed how utterly crap this particular january seems to be for everyone?!

Chiquitita

Hallelujah! I'm tired! Now mr sleepymaker please let me get at least 8 hours continuous sleep, i'm begging you, literally!

LanaFey

Hope you got a good night's sleep Chiquitia!

I managed to get a decent enough night's sleep I think. Calmed myself down by going to bed with a load of blankets piled on, a hot water bottle and an easy to read book. I did have weird nightmarish dreams though and I got out of bed twice to check my phone which was weird it wasn't like a conscious thing, more like I was sleepwalking! Still, I'll take disturbed sleep over insomnia...

I'm completely drained this morning and feeling really emotional, just going to keep my head down and bury myself in work for the morning. Going to give that therapist a ring at some stage but I just feel like if I talk to anyone right now I'll start crying which probably wouldn't be very helpful for trying to book an appointment.

Hope everyone else's day is going well!

lukesmom

I get what some of you say about insomnia, I used to have chronic trouble sleeping.but the meds I take at night ensure that I Gert 8 hours of deep sleep. I wouldnt be without them but they are strong. I need two coffees before I think of bringing my son to school. If I happen to wake in the night which is very rare, I slur my words its as though I'm drunk and my coordination is not great.

Chiquitita

Lana that's gas I did the very same thing, blankets and more blankets and a hot water bottle and it worked. Well I had a suspended sleep if you get me.

Also this morning has been the first where I havent been panicked and run to my parents bed

You should congratulate yourself for being able to get up and go to work, well im proud of you anyway

Ring your therapist and see what way the conversation goes, if you cry, so be it, i'm sure he/she is used to it.

lufties

I'm moving country again, 5th time in 5 years, the previous times haven't been too bad but this time its really daunting. I'm not sure why I'm stressed/depressed/anxious/worried, Perhaps it's because I'm not sleeping well and have been quite drunk on nights out lately, otherwise it's that I'm going to London and am unsure if I will like it.

As a single guy in my early thirties, my profession has allowed me to hop around the planet without too much hassle. It can be a hinderance though because you see all your friends settling down around you. Hopefully I will actually stay here longer term. *fingers crossed*

lukesmom

lufties wrote: »

I'm moving country again, 5th time in 5 years, the previous times haven't been too bad but this time its really daunting. I'm not sure why I'm stressed/depressed/anxious/worried, Perhaps it's because I'm not sleeping well and have been quite drunk on nights out lately, otherwise it's that I'm going to London and am unsure if I will like it.

As a single guy in my early thirties, my profession has allowed me to hop around the planet without too much hassle. It can be a hinderance though because you see all your friends settling down around you. Hopefully I will actually stay here longer term. *fingers crossed*

Hey at least London is not far way so you can fly home often enough. I'd ease up on the drink if I was you as alcohol is a depressant and no matter how fun or sociable it feels at the time there can be often be symptoms of anxiety and depression as as result.

lufties

lukesmom wrote: »

Hey at least London is not far way so you can fly home often enough. I'd ease up on the drink if I was you as alcohol is a depressant and no matter how fun or sociable it feels at the time there can be often be symptoms of anxiety and depression as as result.

Thanks

Yep I've been trying to kick the booze the last few months but unfortunately hasn't happened, either tee-totaler or full tilt it seems with no in between. I'm gonna give a real go this time though.

(west)London will be cool I'm sure, A few months and I should be settled in somewhat.

lukesmom

lufties wrote: »

Thanks

Yep I've been trying to kick the booze the last few months but unfortunately hasn't happened, either tee-totaler or full tilt it seems with no in between. I'm gonna give a real go this time though.

(west)London will be cool I'm sure, A few months and I should be settled in somewhat.

I'd say it will be well cool!
Once you make the decision to stop drinking you will reap the benefits in no time.

lufties

lukesmom wrote: »

I'd say it will be well cool!
Once you make the decision to stop drinking you will reap the benefits in no time.

Hope so, I did about 10 days in a row without it the last time and the anxiety wasn't as bad, Doing shiftwork, proper sleep patterns are never easy but you certainly don't get a proper night's kip after boozing too much.

Gremlinertia

Still no correspondence from hospital, they are usually fast with appointment letters, if not with appointments themselves.. I feel very undermined i think. The whole thing is spiking my paranoia to cruel new levels, now everywhere i look stuff is ridiculing me.. Think i better keep the head down until work again.

LanaFey

Chiquitita wrote: »

Lana that's gas I did the very same thing, blankets and more blankets and a hot water bottle and it worked. Well I had a suspended sleep if you get me.

Also this morning has been the first where I havent been panicked and run to my parents bed

You should congratulate yourself for being able to get up and go to work, well im proud of you anyway

Ring your therapist and see what way the conversation goes, if you cry, so be it, i'm sure he/she is used to it.

Thanks Chiquita it's funny you mention congratulating myself about going to work, it felt like a massive feat this morning! Took me over an hour just to get out of bed, get dressed, and put on the bare minimum of makeup. And I was still 10 minutes late to work!

Yeah the blankets thing is a big calming measure for me, it's not so much the warmth as it is the weight of them! Don't know how it works, but it does.

lufties fair play to you for making the move abroad (again). I agree that alcohol and anxiety do not mix well. I often wake up terrified the next day. It's frustrating because personally, alcohol does help with the social aspect of my anxiety but deep down I know that's a terrible reason to drink!

lukesmom

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Still no correspondence from hospital, they are usually fast with appointment letters, if not with appointments themselves.. I feel very undermined i think. The whole thing is spiking my paranoia to cruel new levels, now everywhere i look stuff is ridiculing me.. Think i better keep the head down until work again.

Hey did you get your gp to refer you?

Gremlinertia

lukesmom wrote: »

Hey did you get your gp to refer you?

Nope, said to secretary that i wanted another appointment to explain why the heck i was being let go..

lukesmom

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Nope, said to secretary that i wanted another appointment to explain why the heck i was being let go..

Problem is you could be waiting a while thats why I thought they might listen to the gp and maybe speed it up. I had to go to A&E before anyone actually took me seriously

Gremlinertia

The letters are usually fast coming out though.. I'll call on friday or monday and see. If no go, it'll have to be gp again. FFS!

lukesmom

Gremlinertia wrote: »

The letters are usually fast coming out though.. I'll call on friday or monday and see. If no go, it'll have to be gp again. FFS!

Really hope you get word before the end of the week I will say a prayer that you do

FruityCake

lukesmom wrote: »

Problem is you could be waiting a while thats why I thought they might listen to the gp and maybe speed it up. I had to go to A&E before anyone actually took me seriously

That appears to be the only way they take people seriously, same thing with myself.

FruityCake

LanaFey wrote: »

Thanks Chiquita it's funny you mention congratulating myself about going to work, it felt like a massive feat this morning! Took me over an hour just to get out of bed, get dressed, and put on the bare minimum of makeup. And I was still 10 minutes late to work!

Yeah the blankets thing is a big calming measure for me, it's not so much the warmth as it is the weight of them! Don't know how it works, but it does.

lufties fair play to you for making the move abroad (again). I agree that alcohol and anxiety do not mix well. I often wake up terrified the next day. It's frustrating because personally, alcohol does help with the social aspect of my anxiety but deep down I know that's a terrible reason to drink!

Alcohol has the exact same effect on me, I realised though there never is a point, a couple of hours of relatively calmness and the aftermath with the extreme anxiety for days, facing your fears lessens it somewhat but for now I am staying inside my house waiting for my meds to start working.... any day now! Haha.

Gremlinertia

Same here, a not happy camper at all. can't believe i'm not been taken seriously, really disheartening since i'd put a lot of faith in this route to help me..

FruityCake

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Same here, a not happy camper at all. can't believe i'm not been taken seriously, really disheartening since i'd put a lot of faith in this route to help me..

Its sad that people with serious issues are not acknowledged and made feel that these are petty problems! Ridiculous. Least we are all in similar situations and can discuss it amongst ourselves.
Hope you are ok anyway, or least have to energy to be able to deal with it.

lukesmom

The louder you shout the more they take notice. I spent from 10am on a Saturday morning back in April until 4pm in the A&E and they kept telling me they were so busy, no psychiatric nurse to assess me blash blah blah. But I didn't leave. I had come to the end of my tether trying to get to see a psych doctor. In the end I was assessed and a bed miraculously became available! My husband waiuted by my side all day with my very worried parents at home minding our 3 kids. One of the worst days I've ever had, especiaslly looking at their others in A&E. They were there for physical injuries and I absolutely envied them. I would have taken two broken legs instead of the mental distress. Told the nurse I was going to jump into the river if I didn't get into the psych ward. (I wouldnt have but just said it) my husband was witness so they knew if they turned me away and I died then they would be in trouble.

FruityCake

lukesmom wrote: »

The louder you shout the more they take notice. I spent from 10am on a Saturday morning back in April until 4pm in the A&E and they kept telling me they were so busy, no psychiatric nurse to assess me blash blah blah. But I didn't leave. I had come to the end of my tether trying to get to see a psych doctor. In the end I was assessed and a bed miraculously became available! My husband waiuted by my side all day with my very worried parents at home minding our 3 kids. One of the worst days I've ever had, especiaslly looking at their others in A&E. They were there for physical injuries and I absolutely envied them. I would have taken two broken legs instead of the mental distress. Told the nurse I was going to jump into the river if I didn't get into the psych ward. (I wouldnt have but just said it) my husband was witness so they knew if they turned me away and I died then they would be in trouble.

Jeez man that is rough! You really do need to be very upfront and persistent, it took me two overdoses for them to actually get me a physiatrist appointment and move it closer , the first was months away! If I hadn't gotten seen I probably would have ended up in the same situation again. I'm still waiting for my physiologist appointment and I'm on meds now (second brand) and hopefully will be o the way to recovering when my appointment comes through argh! Did you get medicated too?

Gremlinertia

It is so hard to shout/be persistent when so down.. Took a lot out of me to go to doc and get referral in the first place. Damn it.. Ah well, i'll phone friday and shout a bit since i'm frustrated (not really shout, just feel like it)

lukesmom

FruityCake wrote: »

Jeez man that is rough! You really do need to be very upfront and persistent, it took me two overdoses for them to actually get me a physiatrist appointment and move it closer , the first was months away! If I hadn't gotten seen I probably would have ended up in the same situation again. I'm still waiting for my physiologist appointment and I'm on meds now (second brand) and hopefully will be o the way to recovering when my appointment comes through argh! Did you get medicated too?

Did I get medicated which I went into hospital? Yes they weened me down off one I was on and started me on another at the same time. After 4 failed med changes and three hospital admissions they decided I was treatment resistant (which is strange because I took one med successfully for five years prior to this episode). So they tried this tried that added this took away that and so on until something clicked and i finally started getting better. I'm on 3 different meds.

handbagmad

Just reading through some of you're posts. Mental health facilities are really after going backwards in Ireland.
Everywhere you look we are being told to talk about our issues and get help.
Its the f--king getting help is the problem.
I myself was discharged from psychiatric services without being told about 6 months ago, told to go back to my gp if I needed them again. Its bull****.
Im now paying through the nose for private therapy sessions borrowing money to pay for them but I feel the benefit. But it is still wrong.
While I was under the care of the HSE system I was promised CBT never happened.

chinacup

Feel like going on a downward spiral again.. how do u people regain strength when u least feel like it? Any tips I could use them right now.