Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Gremlinertia

Kaching wrote: »

lets just say I know where the phrase "he was so scared he sh@t himself" came from

Let's hope one was wearing brown trousers :pac:

Gremlinertia

thingamagig wrote: »

Thanks so much Gremlinertia. Ya, I have consulted a G.P. in the past and I have had a good bit of counselling too. My family? I only mentioned it because it would be very hard for them not to pick up that something was wrong. My life stalled, I've underachieved and I was like the walking wounded for a while!I'm in no way close to them, so it wasn't a case of me confiding in them. But if you are close to your family, Gremlinertia, or trust them a good bit, you might be surprised by how they react. It's awesome to have someone to talk to. The group really has given me a listeing ear in the past.

I made distance with family years back, not wisely i'll admit. We are on good enough terms but i had the added bonus of being very definitely gay in a very definietly narrow minded small town, it was better i ****ed off. Being gay colours things - you develope a second family.. Like us all, many threads to the story/

pardon fat fingered typing

Hersheys

Feel like a fraud for posting on this thread.

I'd an appointment with the psych today. I have borderline personality disorder. Not depression or anxiety.

Call Me Jimmy

Hersheys wrote: »

Feel like a fraud for posting on this thread.

I'd an appointment with the psych today. I have borderline personality disorder. Not depression or anxiety.

Well you're not a fraud but that is a serious diagnosis. How someone makes a diagnosis that specific is beyond me, but I hope you don't let it define you (same for a depression/anxiety diagnosis).

That would be a scary diagnosis to me (just any personality disorder, it's very... personal?) feel free to talk about it here obviously and I hope you are okay

Hersheys

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Well you're not a fraud but that is a serious diagnosis. How someone makes a diagnosis that specific is beyond me, but I hope you don't let it define you (same for a depression/anxiety diagnosis).

That would be a scary diagnosis to me (just any personality disorder, it's very... personal?) feel free to talk about it here obviously and I hope you are okay

It is very personal but it felt like the least personal afternoon ever I wish I understood what it meant. It's like having half my life taken away because I've thought I had depression and anxiety. Now I'm just emotionally disordered. Even harder to explain to people than depression. And no real treatment aside from talk therapy and there's a 5 month wait for that.

Lightbulb Sun

Hersheys wrote: »

Feel like a fraud for posting on this thread.

I'd an appointment with the psych today. I have borderline personality disorder. Not depression or anxiety.

Don't feel like a fraud. Borderline personality disorder is a depressive illness, otherwise you wouldn't be here on the thread. Had a bad day myself today. Feeling demotivated in college , life feels empty and flat. Failed a test today. My illness kills my concentration. Apparently college drop outs are par for the course with people who share my diagnosis. I know this myself cos I've dropped out of school twice and college once already. Hope it doesn't happen again.

Kaching

Hersheys wrote: »

It is very personal but it felt like the least personal afternoon ever I wish I understood what it meant. It's like having half my life taken away because I've thought I had depression and anxiety. Now I'm just emotionally disordered. Even harder to explain to people than depression. And no real treatment aside from talk therapy and there's a 5 month wait for that.

hun the same as any disorder , it disrupts you're life and it's a pain because it can't be cured but It can be managed with treatment.
And as for talk therapy , you have a friend with a good set of ears

Hersheys

Kaching wrote: »

hun the same as any disorder , it disrupts you're life and it's a pain because it can't be cured but It can be managed with treatment.
And as for talk therapy , you have a friend with a good set of ears

I just feel like crap

Lightbulb Sun

Hersheys wrote: »

I just feel like crap

From the little I know about it borderline seems to be an illness where the stress of life overwhelms people to self harm when they can't cope. That's just what I heard from being in hospital before.

HalloweenJack

Had a yo-yo day, was a bit scary how I was changing moods so often. Just want my bed right now.

Hersheys

Lightbulb Sun wrote: »

From the little I know about it borderline seems to be an illness where the stress of life overwhelms people to self harm when they can't cope. That's just what I heard from being in hospital before.

That's pretty much how I feel except throw suicidal thoughts into the mix. I have huge suicide ideation thoughts. Like right now boards is my distraction from wanting to do something stupid & not become a statistic.

titan18

Hersheys wrote: »

That's pretty much how I feel except throw suicidal thoughts into the mix. I have huge suicide ideation thoughts. Like right now boards is my distraction from wanting to do something stupid & not become a statistic.

I get those thoughts, they're never good.

Fwiw, I've always thought I had Borderline Personality Disorder, but never got myself diagnosed properly for it. It's just a label, all our stuff is pretty much the same really.

Boards is a decent distraction, I find gaming to my best distraction, no real thinking involved, and a bit more activity than just the internet.

Gremlinertia

Hersheys wrote: »

That's pretty much how I feel except throw suicidal thoughts into the mix. I have huge suicide ideation thoughts. Like right now boards is my distraction from wanting to do something stupid & not become a statistic.

I constantly see 'opportunities' to die, have done for years. Usually i don't have to fight the urge much, but at times it feels like i go into a trance and it can be very hard to free myself.. My psych has said i have personality 'issues' which we haven't made any further headway with as of yet. So i feel like a bit of a misfit most of the time out here in the real world, so venting in this thread is brilliant.

Don't worry about a diagnosis Hersheys, depression is a very broad term with many variations, hopefully when you get closer to diagnosis you get closer to exactly the help you need..

Bipolar Sufferer

Whats the best way to meet/chat to young people with BiPolar? I'm 19 in Dublin with BiPolar 2 and think it would be helpful to be able to PM people roughly the same age who know what I am going through.

Gremlinertia

Bipolar Sufferer wrote: »

Whats the best way to meet/chat to young people with BiPolar? I'm 19 in Dublin with BiPolar 2 and think it would be helpful to be able to PM people roughly the same age who know what I am going through.

Heyo, welcome to the thread - check the 'post your web resources here' thread that's at top of the listings here, three pages of links for various long term illnesses including depression, bi-polar etc. There are people on this thread that would be about your age, so if you stick around they may be in contact too.

thingamagig

wow. i feel stripped of energy. just bone tired. but my head still has time to constantly self-criticise. how does that work?!

Call Me Jimmy

I know it was a rhetorical question but I think it spirals, your brain normalises itself to a level of activity and then it takes a supreme effort to drop it back down to slower vibration.

cloud493

Has not been a good week in general, to be honest. I'm normally ok at ignoring the sadness, because you need to, but I haven't been very good at it the past few months.

Kaching

Vuzuggu wrote: »

if you wanna PM me that's cool. I want to get to know people with BiPolar too. Wouldn't mind having someone that understand where I'm coming from.

+1

Hersheys

I can't stop inappropriate thoughts & I've no medical/therapy appointments coming up so I've no outlet! Since I got my diagnosis I'm researching as much as possible & it doesn't make nice reading but it all makes sense. (Proper research, not dr google). It's hard reading but I'm an analytical person, I like answers. Part of it says that drs and therapists are reluctant to deal with people like me because we misappropriate thoughts etc - and it's true. Right now I want to be friends with my doctor but know I can't because it's ridiculous. And in my head I'm "punishing" her for not going to visit. Even tho 1) I doubt she remembers my name when it's not written in front of her and 2) it's probably a relief when she goes a week without having to see me.

thingamagig

I
have to say most of the time I feel ok, but I know that I still have
intense self-critical thoughts that could easily bring on another bout.
And I have so little interest in being in a relationship- none in fact.
Being a little harsh here I know but they (the opposite sex) all seem so predictably the
same.

dlofnep

Suffering with wicked anxiety today In a new relationship, and I get terrible relationship anxiety for the silliest of things. Deep breaths!!

Call Me Jimmy

Ex got back in touch to see how i am (over a year since we were together) 2 or 3 texts and then she's like 'catch u later' ... i don't know at all. Was feelin pretty low anyway and it just seems a bit cruel

Gillo

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Ex got back in touch to see how i am (over a year since we were together) 2 or 3 texts and then she's like 'catch u later' ... i don't know at all. Was feelin pretty low anyway and it just seems a bit cruel

A bit like a kick in the teeth... Try not to read anything into it.

Hersheys

Having a low day. Am very concerned (& aware) that my next counselling appointment is months away & afraid to go to my GP.

Call Me Jimmy

Gillo wrote: »

A bit like a kick in the teeth... Try not to read anything into it.

Yea no I amn't I know it's nothing but I'm just incredibly lonely.

dlofnep

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Yea no I amn't I know it's nothing but I'm just incredibly lonely.

Pulling for ya buddy!

Call Me Jimmy

Thanks man, something about that exact configuration of words that made me feel a tiny bit better. Anyway she text again, i honestly don't know what the ****. I understand 'just dont text her back' and I am a very proud person to my detriment sometimes. It was the other way around during the relationship, maybe I ****ed her about a bit but now I am in a desperately solitary place and it's impossible not to text. I suppose it's just nothing and I should treat it like that.

dlofnep

I don't know the history of your relationship - but I know from experience, the best way to get over someone is to completely remove them from your life. Remember - there is always someone else out there that can fill the void. You're lonely right now - probably being hard on yourself. Get back up on the horse, move forward - and recognise that your life should revolve around you, and not around other people.

Get happy with yourself, and the rest will follow. If that means picking up a hobby to get out and socialise more, go for it. Anything to beat the monotony of the repetitive!

Chin up pal! You're not alone.

Hersheys

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Yea no I amn't I know it's nothing but I'm just incredibly lonely.

I'm lonely too if it's any consolation!

Hang in there.