Young looking friend - guys running away

Emme

A few of us went out on Saturday night for a bit of crack, a couple of drinks and maybe to pull (rugby weekend and all that). So far so good. We ranged in age from 32 to 37 and there was also a 43 year old which isn't a problem because the 43 year old (I'm not joking here) looks younger than most of us. No botox, nothing like that but she is vegetarian which she says helps. She's also very fit, vibrant and positive which I think makes people seem younger than they are.

We were all doing fairly well, getting chatted up by 4 guys in their early 30s (all went to college together) and having a laugh. One very hot guy seemed to be into our 43 year old friend. The conversation turned around to age and she said she was 43. The lads, all around 32 or 33, got up and left shortly after. We didn't worry, obviously they had somewhere better to go.

Two of the girls, including the 43 year old went home a bit later and the rest of us stayed on. Two of the lads from earlier came back after a while and we had a great night. However, they wanted to know why the 43 year old said she was 43 to get rid of his friend - all she had to say was that she wasn't interested. They couldn't believe that she was 43!

She always tells people her real age (it's a matter of principle for her) and we were wondering if that puts guys off. Do they think she's saying she's older than she is (or they think she is) to get rid of them? The ironic thing is that she gets very little attention from guys her age or older but younger guys flock to her.

Or does the fact that she's actually over 40 scare the lads away even though she looks much younger? Depressing thought that

stepbar

I'd put it down to the fact that, deep down, the chaps were ****.

seanybiker

Her being 43 wouldnt bother me. If she looked younger though I would pick up her saying her age as a " oh look at me aren't I just gorgeous for my age". That and i have a girlfriend already but no harm in throwing me opinion in anyways.

Emme

seanybiker wrote: »

Her being 43 wouldnt bother me. If she looked younger though I would pick up her saying her age as a " oh look at me aren't I just gorgeous for my age". That and i have a girlfriend already but no harm in throwing me opinion in anyways.

That's an astute opinion, Seany. Someone else said that as well - that she looks good for her age, knows it and likes to flaunt it. She's not bitchy or anything but she's proud of being vegetarian and into fitness.

Stepbar, the chaps weren't w*nkers, two of them came back and we got on well with them. We won't be seeing them again or anything but they were good company.

seanybiker

seanybiker wrote: »

If she looked younger though I would pick up her saying her age as a " oh look at me aren't I just gorgeous for my age".

EHh! Age is a relatively common thing to bring up if your interested in someone surely.

I don't think it is unreasonable to have an age/life stage preference. ~shrug~

minidazzler

It sounds like the guy thought she was saying a fake age to get him to feck off, he just didn't believe her, so they bailed!

Don't ask me why they did, but that's how it sounds, since when they came back they brought up the age thing!

Emme

minidazzler wrote: »

It sounds like the guy thought she was saying a fake age to get him to feck off, he just didn't believe her, so they bailed!

Don't ask me why they did, but that's how it sounds, since when they came back they brought up the age thing!

We think that's what happened and I was just wondering how guys react in general if a woman says she's a lot older than they think she looks. My friend nearly always gets a shocked startled reaction, even in places like Doheny and Nesbitts where the crowd is older. Whereas people generally believe me when I say how old I am .

MajorThom

stepbar wrote: »

I'd put it down to the fact that, deep down, the chaps were ****.

Haha. Couldnt agree more. So eloquently put!!!

I would have thought such a situation would have led to a fella dropping a few charming lines in her direction;). That was an opening for a major one-on-one conversation right there. Why can't these things happen to us nice guys hey:rolleyes:!!!

evolutionqy7

maybe they just got the point wrong some girls when u meet up can be ignoring u or trying get rid of u so they just took that as f%ck off otherwise to that i wouldnt really care what age she is even better if shes 43 and looks the part for a 20-30 year old

stepbar

Emme wrote: »

That's an astute opinion, Seany. Someone else said that as well - that she looks good for her age, knows it and likes to flaunt it. She's not bitchy or anything but she's proud of being vegetarian and into fitness.

Stepbar, the chaps weren't w*nkers, two of them came back and we got on well with them. We won't be seeing them again or anything but they were good company.

Ah, but they were being selective in their company. If it were me, I wouldn't diss a woman because they happened to be of the wrong age category to me. And even more so if the person in question looks good for her age.

minidazzler

Emme wrote: »

We think that's what happened and I was just wondering how guys react in general if a woman says she's a lot older than they think she looks. My friend nearly always gets a shocked startled reaction, even in places like Doheny and Nesbitts where the crowd is older. Whereas people generally believe me when I say how old I am .

Yeah, I have never heard of a guy running off because of an older woman, I know how I would react ("Ah, your lying...no really you are....seriously 43? You look no older than 30.....wanna drink?"

But that is strictly me, I know guys who would be disgusted to see an "older" woman in a bar.

But these guys were in their 30's, so I must ask WTF were they thinking!!!

That guys loss!

Emme

stepbar wrote: »

Ah, but they were being selective in their company. If it were me, I wouldn't diss a woman because they happened to be of the wrong age category to me. And even more so if the person in question looks good for her age.

The guy who was cougar hunting my friend (she hates that expression ) didn't come back but two of his mates did. Apparently he was going on about it "What age do you really think she is, she can't be 43, she must have been trying to get rid of me."

Faint heart never won cougar (sorry, fair lady).

stepbar

Emme wrote: »

The guy who was cougar hunting my friend (she hates that expression ) didn't come back but two of his mates did. Apparently he was going on about it "What age do you really think she is, she can't be 43, she must have been trying to get rid of me."

Faint heart never won cougar (sorry, fair lady).

You didn't say that at the start.....

mood

Sounds like because he thought she was a lot younger it was hint to get lost.

Looking younger can be annoying. I look younger (3-7 year younger depending on who you talk to). I get chatted up by younger guys mainly. I would like to meet my own age so it's annoying.

Emme

stepbar wrote: »

You didn't say that at the start.....

I did but not in those exact words. See the first post.

Jesus Wept

Emme wrote: »

She always tells people her real age (it's a matter of principle for her)

Serious question - honestly, how often does that come up naturally in conversation?!
Not often at all imo - guys (and people generally) don't tend to go around asking women their age.

So to me - it sounds like your friend (or her friends) is actively bringing the conversation around to her age in order for her to say 'ACTUALLLY I'm 43!, age, as young as you feel, stereotypes, positivity, it's because I'm a vegetarian, blah blah'

And that just sounds plain annoying and off-putting.

Personally, the people I have met that do this are often a characture.
It's plainly obvious that it's the main thing they are deriding most of their self esteem from.
And in my experience, they usually look every bit of their age if you look beyond just the way they are presenting themselves, that's also off-putting.

Actually, it just reminds me of Father Ted (and I had such a Father Ted moment myself) when one female from a group was pestering a group I was in to 'Guess my age, cmon, go on, guess, go on, just guess'. (She actually wandered off and came back a couple of times).

It was clear to all of us that she was the type of person mentioned above (and looked it too, older trying to look younger, badly).
Everyone was either trying to ignore her grimacing and explaining they didn't want to know however she just, wouldn't, take, the hint.

Eventually I blurted out 'Forty!' , she turned on her heal, disgusted, and left us alone.

calahans

The guy was probably on the pull and didnt want to end up with a women 10 years older than him.

Just another opinion

Emme

The-Rigger wrote: »

Eventually I blurted out 'Forty!' , she turned on her heal, disgusted, and left us alone.

That's a bit harsh but she had it coming to her. It was the guys who brought up age, they were saying that it was harder to stay in shape once you go past 30. Then somebody asked one of them how old he was and that's how it started.

AFAIK she doesn't "try" to look young, you can see those sort of people a mile away, they look ridiculous and they're embarrassing to be around. They look like a combination of the worst elements of SATC and Desperate Housewives.

Maybe she's insecure about her age and being that bit older than us. She came back from abroad a few years ago and the people her own age were all married. Her brother looks very young as well but he isn't vegetarian and he likes his few pints. Maybe it's in the genes?

the fake mccoy

43 seems pretty old to me..20 years past her prime...thats a long time..

mood

the fake mccoy wrote: »

43 seems pretty old to me..20 years past her prime...thats a long time..

Your probably in your early 20s. Guys in their 40s would still consider her young.

Silverfish

the fake mccoy wrote: »

43 seems pretty old to me..20 years past her prime...thats a long time..

Trolling is not welcome on this forum, and ignoring warnings is even less welcome.

7 day ban.

pickarooney

Strange that she doesn't get any attention from 40+ guys. Do you have any idea why that is?

mood

pickarooney wrote: »

Strange that she doesn't get any attention from 40+ guys. Do you have any idea why that is?

I know I get most attention for guys too young for me because I look a lot younger than I am. It sounds like this is the case with the OP friend as well.

Emme

pickarooney wrote: »

Strange that she doesn't get any attention from 40+ guys. Do you have any idea why that is?

maybe fakemccoy might care to offer an opinion on that!:D Only joking.

None of us get much attention from 40+ guys or late 30s guys for that matter even in the likes of Doheny & Nesbitts. Which is weird because a good few 40+ men tend to go for women who they consider to be 15 years younger than they are so you'd think my friend was ideal. Another thing is that once men get to late 30s/ early 40s they stop approaching women and let women make the effort instead. If they do approach you 9 times out of 10 they're married.

Another friend wasted an entire night on a guy she thought was nice, she asked him was he married, he said no then at the end of the night said that he was. When she asked him why he lied he said "If you knew the truth you wouldn't have talked to me". Dead right she wouldn't have talked to him! :mad:

For all the young pups who think that women over 35 are past their prime, are you willing to commit to a young girl in your 20s? As I said before, most of my friends are in the 30-45 age group and we have all had problems with commitmentphobic men.

donster79

Emme wrote: »

maybe fakemccoy might care to offer an opinion on that!:D Only joking.

None of us get much attention from 40+ guys or late 30s guys for that matter even in the likes of Doheny & Nesbitts. Which is weird because a good few 40+ men tend to go for women who they consider to be 15 years younger than they are so you'd think my friend was ideal. Another thing is that once men get to late 30s/ early 40s they stop approaching women and let women make the effort instead. If they do approach you 9 times out of 10 they're married.

Another friend wasted an entire night on a guy she thought was nice, she asked him was he married, he said no then at the end of the night said that he was. When she asked him why he lied he said "If you knew the truth you wouldn't have talked to me". Dead right she wouldn't have talked to him! :mad:

For all the young pups who think that women over 35 are past their prime, are you willing to commit to a young girl in your 20s? As I said before, most of my friends are in the 30-45 age group and we have all had problems with commitmentphobic men.

No offence intended or anything Emme, but women over 35 are past it. Well past it in fact.

chancer_007

OP,what pub were you in?

Wibbs

donster79 think before you post in the Ladies lounge again. Comments like that are not welcome. Thanks

robtri

A lot of guys would be put off by a woman 10 years+ older then themselves, especially if they just out looking for some "fun"....
it intimidates them, then especially if they tell their mates afterwards.. ohh I scored a 43 year old.... doesn't hit the macho image for some guys....
idiots and your friend is better off at the end of the day......

Emme

My friend is thinking of leaving the country again because she finds the mentality of some people here very limited. Aside from the social scene, she finds Ireland quite ageist, ie the jobs market, people's mentality towards you if you aren't married by a certain age etc. I think the replies of the some of the posters here bear this out.

This thread is getting pointless, how do I go about getting the mods to lock it?

Wibbs

Closed per OP request and it had started to go in circles.