The Relationship Thread

lou91

All these "issue" threads seem to be doing fairly well, and V-Day is just around the corner, so where do you stand on relationships? Are you in one, and if not, do you want to be?

I'm not, but I think I'm just a relationship person. Scoring random people on nights out gets old so so quickly and it's just nice to have one person to be with. I hate when people say they don't want to be in a relationship because they'll be tied down, spend all of their time with one person and lose touch with their friends. Those are just characteristics of unhealthy relationships. Monogamy is not the same as codependence. A relationship is just one aspect of life, even though I think it's a pretty important one.

I also really hate those BS sayings like "You can't be with someone until you can be with yourself" which imply that if people are actively seeking relationships they aren't secure in themselves, and you should just wait for it to happen naturally. Fcuk that. Just because I want to be with someone doesn't mean I'm any less of an individual and don't have my own personality. Also, sometimes things just don't happen unless you make them happen by putting yourself out there.

Finally, the idea of being too young to be tied down. It's all well and good to want to be free to experience life to the full, but if you find someone who gets you, who you find attractive and you want to be with, I'd really think hard about letting that go. But that's just me...

Thoughts?

hitlersson666

im not in one but i wish i was

mardybumbum

RandomUserName! wrote: »

I'm just a relationship person. Scoring random people on nights out gets old so so quickly.

You assume the two are mutually exclusive.

Slow Show

hitlersson666 wrote: »

im not in one but i wish i was

Me too but meh, plenty of time.

Mushy

I be in one now, and have been for last few months. So far, so great! Normally relationships for me end up in the bin after a few months(not all my fault:o), but this one is completely different(woohoo for clichés).

OP, I'd agree with ya on all those things you mentioned. Especially bout seeking out a relationship. They tend to be ones that will fail. For the relationship I'm in now, its the ultimate case(that I know of), of this arising naturally. Met in a pub one night, ended up actually getting her number(an achievement for me in its own right haha), and have talked literally every day since then. That included when I was in Oz for two months. Was only when college started again did I get to ask her out(yeah she hinted at it first, then I grew balls and asked her). But we talk pretty much every moment of every day, all arising from a random chance meeting.

Tis new for me to be in one this long, but hell, feels great this time!

Luno

I don't want to find myself in a relationship again anytime soon,
I can honestly say I've come out worse from one then when I went into it,
Some might say oh your still young you've got plenty of time to find someone else it couldn't have effected you that much

See this is where people can be completely wrong...
Thinking about one person everyday over 6 months and feeling incredibly down even at the point of almost crying really isn't nice!

I love relationships though, just don't think I'd be able to commit again, not soon anyways!

Konata

I definitely prefer relationships over one night stands. Plenty of people enjoy the random hook-up thing and yes I've done it in the past but personally it's just not for me.

When I was younger there was an awful lot of pressure to get off with people at parties etc. I'll admit that I succumbed to that pressure but I never felt good afterwards - the next day would be racked with guilt and general feelings of pointlessness. I just didn't get how you could be with one person so briefly and the next day mean nothing to each other? Meh, it didn't do much for my self-esteem I'll tell ya

But what I've found even bloody worse than one night stands and random hook-ups is this 'are-we-aren't-we' going out thing. This whole hooking up with someone on a night out, hearing nothing from them until the next night out then hooking up again then hearing nothing then hooking up again etc. etc. for months on end. Unfortunately this has happened me more than once with people I really really liked at the time Some might say why didn't you just walk away? Or ask them if ye were going out? I wonder myself but I know it had to do with my very very poor self-esteem.

Anyway, conclusion to all that is my decision that proper relationships are my kinda thing. Just the general certainty that that other person will be there for you and some form of commitment. Someone that you can talk to easily at any time, not just when you're plastered.

That's my two cents anyway!

lou91

Mushy wrote: »

OP, I'd agree with ya on all those things you mentioned. Especially bout seeking out a relationship. They tend to be ones that will fail. For the relationship I'm in now, its the ultimate case(that I know of), of this arising naturally.

Actually I was saying the opposite! I think it can be a bit dangerous to just assume "ah sure it'll happen itself eventually" if you're completely oblivious to it and not somewhat on the lookout.

phlegms

Not in one at the moment. There is someone I would potentially like to be in one with right now though, but it will most likely never come to fruition.

Seren_

phlegms wrote: »

Not in one at the moment. There is someone I would potentially like to be in one with right now though, but it will most likely never come to fruition.

This exactly

Jay P

phlegms wrote: »

Not in one at the moment. There is someone I would potentially like to be in one with right now though, but it will most likely never come to fruition.

Same, but I know that the relationship just wouldn't work out, for reasons other than the fact we get on so well together.

I'll write a lengthier reply to this later. My head isn't really in the right place. Too much physics going on!

Ginja Ninja

*sigh* I'm single and have been for quite a while.I can't particularly put my finger on it but there's something paricularly "friend only" about me.*shrugs*

I have the natural talent of being attracted to girls in relationships,every time that I can remember I've met someone who I get on with and think "maybe this is going somewhere" they are,without fail already taken.

And to make matters worse,Since I've started college I've not met anyone I've had any major sort of attraction to,guess I'll be single for a good whil longer so.


Edit: I just realised why I'm single,I'm an asshat,most've you have met me,you know it's true:pac:

Davidius

I can't imagine me ever being in any sort of relationship if I didn't actively seek one. I mean that in the sense that if you're not going to make friends if you don't try to make them. Whether you find it easy or not is a different matter of course.

As for myself, hate the ideas of one night stands. Much prefer the idea of monogamy. That said I'm still put off by the idea of relationships. It would involve work and I'm the kind to avoid work at all costs.

Mushy

RandomUserName! wrote: »

Actually I was saying the opposite! I think it can be a bit dangerous to just assume "ah sure it'll happen itself eventually" if you're completely oblivious to it and not somewhat on the lookout.

Whoops:o I mean that I wasn't expecting to come across anyone who could change my life so much though.

Until three or so months ago I hadn't been single since I was sixteen (I'm twenty now). I was going out with a girl for a year, then only a week after I broke up with her, I somehow managed to get myself into a three year long relationship. I'm not entirely sure how I managed to do that--as it was the last thing I wanted at the time--but I did. I enjoyed being in a relationship, but after four years of it I couldn't really take any more.

I actually love being single right now; I've been having some of the greatest nights of my life going out with single friends, and I don't really want that to change. Although, saying all of that, there is one particular girl that I'm drawn to, but I suspect nothing serious to ever come of that.

Anyway, that's about as much personal information as I've ever divulged online...

Pygmalion

Single at the moment.
There's no-one I'm particularly interested in right now though so it's not too bad.

soccymonster

I preety much just admire from afar :P

although, i am kinda shy in real life as well. And i blush too easily, way too easily! (so i'd rather save myself the embarrasment). And the only 'relationship' i've ever had was crap. So meh...

Pygmalion

soccymonster wrote: »

I preety much just admire from afar :P

Yup Waterford is pretty far.

jumpguy

Had abit of a "thing" going recently which at it's height was very dramatic, but that began to deflate since going back to school. I'm getting sick of the girl, I suspect she makes up stories, which is weird, and is just odd. Looks like I'm stuck in singularity for another while so, but I'm not burning bridges yet...

I know that being single for too long tbh gets me down, you begin to feel a bit rejected, but this usually causes me to rush into relationships which are crap, so I didn't do it this time and am very glad! I'll find the right girl, eventually!

soccymonster

Pygmalion wrote: »

Yup Waterford is pretty far.

deise_girl?!!
Edit: i'm just gonna edit this!! Just incase..

Pygmalion

soccymonster wrote: »

deise_girl?!!
Edit: i'm just gonna edit this!! Just incase..

Now I want to know what it said before ;____;

suitcasepink

Pygmalion wrote: »

Now I want to know what it said before ;____;

I don't im quite scared..
I know we won the best couple Soccy but Im really not into this kinda thing. :pac:

Pygmalion

Wait a minute, why aren't you kids in bed yet?

suitcasepink

Pygmalion wrote: »

Wait a minute, why aren't you kids in bed yet?

I've been in bed since after 9pm :cool:

soccymonster

Pygmalion wrote: »

Wait a minute, why aren't you kids in bed yet?

because... I'm 16 in march..
And deise, don't worry. The feeling is mutual

jumpguy

Pygmalion wrote: »

Wait a minute, why aren't you kids in bed yet?

I am in bed, infact, I'm asleep. You are all a meer part of my dream.

A Neurotic

jumpguy wrote: »

I am in bed, infact, I'm asleep. You are all a meer part of my dream.

*mere

I wouldn't do this if I didn't think you'd appreciate it rather than be offended.

Pygmalion

soccymonster wrote: »

because... I'm 16 in march..
And deise, don't worry. The feeling is mutual

Well I'm 18 in June and I'm wondering why the hell I'm not in bed.

soccymonster

A Neurotic wrote: »

*mere

I wouldn't do this if I didn't think you'd appreciate it rather than be offended.

lol at jumpguy misspelling mere like a meerkat. And this dude wants to go for med-i-cine :pac:

(only messing with ya dude )

jumpguy

A Neurotic wrote: »

*mere

I wouldn't do this if I didn't think you'd appreciate it rather than be offended.

It was a typo Neurotic

<_<

soccymonster wrote: »

lol at jumpguy misspelling mere like a meerkat. And this dude wants to go for med-i-cine

(only messing with ya dude )

While it is a major blow to my confidence, I won't be taking much offense from someone who thought humidity is the same thing as temperature. We won't get into the olives story...

soccymonster

Pygmalion wrote: »

Well I'm 18 in June and I'm wondering why the hell I'm not in bed.

but you're never in bed...

A Neurotic

jumpguy wrote: »

It was a typo Neurotic

<_<

My bad. Shouln't have treated you like a standard Jesus_Juice

Pygmalion

soccymonster wrote: »

but you're never in bed...

Hey I've only been out of bed for... 32 hours... And to be fair I dozed in and out on the bus.

jefreywithonef

Things were looking good earlier this week with someone (coquettish behaviour, general merriment) but thanks to my unfortunate blindness (resultant of an idiotic decision to go to a lecture whilst slightly hungover, starving and exhausted) I was blanked by said person earlier. And it's not really my fault.

Pygmalion

Monzo wrote: »

(resultant of an idiotic decision to go to a lecture whilst slightly hungover, starving and exhausted)

Is it wrong that I read that and immediately thought of you throwing up, eating it again and then falling asleep in it?

Ginja Ninja

Pygmalion wrote: »

Is it wrong that I read that and immediately thought of you throwing up, eating it again and then falling asleep in it?

he's not bythewoods extrasupervery sarcasticfairy errrr..... I dunno,maybe shane mcgowan?

*awaits the impending Sh*tstorm I started*

Pygmalion

Ginja Ninja wrote: »

he's not bythewoods extrasupervery sarcasticfairy errrr..... I dunno,maybe shane mcgowan?

*awaits the impending Sh*tstorm I started*

I don't get it, why would those 3 girls have anything to do with what I posted?
Well, perhaps bythewoods, but the other two?

Pipz

I'm quite a relationship person. A couple of years ago I used to go into town and as everyone did back then, end up kissing a new guy almost every week. It was done on a 'yeah I kinda like you, but cant see myself with you for more than two weeks' thing, so it was no strings. If things worked out, cool. If they didn't, no one really cared. Then got into a one year long distance relationship, which worked ok for a while, but then things went downhill. At the time I met my current boyfriend, who I've been with for almost two years now, and honestly I couldn't be happier. It's so much nicer having one person you can share literally everything with, than it is just going out and kissing random guys for the sake of it. But really, it's whatever you're into. Some people prefer not to be stuck with one person and to just play the field. Whatever floats your boat I guess.

Konata

Pygmalion wrote: »

Is it wrong that I read that and immediately thought of you throwing up, eating it again and then falling asleep in it?

Shockingly similiar to something that happened at a grad I attended...

Pygmalion

Hotaru wrote: »

Shockingly similiar to something that happened at a grad I attended...

I'm intrigued...

Konata

Pygmalion wrote: »

I'm intrigued...

Take away the eating part and throw in some eh... human excrement and you've pretty much got the whole picture.



Not to me I might add.

jumpguy

Hotaru wrote: »

Take away the eating part and throw in some eh... human excrement and you've pretty much got the whole picture.

Been there. Ahh gastroenteritis...

Konata

jumpguy wrote: »

Been there. Ahh gastroenteritis...

Or excessive alcohol intake :rolleyes:


Oh, so off-topic.

Extrasupervery

Ginja Ninja wrote: »

he's not bythewoods extrasupervery sarcasticfairy errrr..... I dunno,maybe shane mcgowan?

*awaits the impending Sh*tstorm I started*

What's that now Alan?! Hmm?

Piste

I has a boyf \o/

jefreywithonef

Pygmalion wrote: »

Is it wrong that I read that and immediately thought of you throwing up, eating it again and then falling asleep in it?

Considering one of those things happened last night (and another almost happening) it's not wrong to assume that mental image at all. Ha I can only wish to be Shane MacGowan, Ninja. Drunkenly stumbling onstage with Nick Cave to sing a song is something I'd very much like to do.

D4RK ONION

Piste wrote: »

I has a boyf \o/

And we're very happy together...


Wait you're not Insect Overlord!

A Neurotic

I'll never understand the "seeking a relationship" mentality. If it happens, lovely. If you approach each and every person you like with only the fact that they're a possible partner in mind, as a friend of mine does... Well, you're gonna miss all the normal, fun parts of getting to know someone and just worry about impressing them. Not healthy, and ironically, quite unattractive in my opinion

The syntax of this post may be bafflingly out of whack but it's late, shutup

Insect Overlord

D4RK ONION wrote: »

And we're very happy together...


Wait you're not Insect Overlord!

And this is exactly why my girlfriend thinks I'm gay! :P

Davidius

A Neurotic wrote: »

I'll never understand the "seeking a relationship" mentality. If it happens, lovely. If you approach each and every person you like with only the fact that they're a possible partner in mind, as a friend of mine does... Well, you're gonna miss all the normal, fun parts of getting to know someone and just worry about impressing them. Not healthy, and ironically, quite unattractive in my opinion

I suppose it's not so much that somebody makes a relationship the sole purpose in talking to somebody. There's a lot of people who simply have to make more of a conscious effort in marketting themselves. After all, a lot of us don't generally come across as very likable or interesting in casual conversation.

What I'm trying to say is that there are people who when they make little effort, unconsciously tend towards introverted behaviour in their interactions with people. Such people generally don't just wind up in relationships and then you can factor in the feelings one might experience from seeing all those around them involved with others.

In other cases, some people would simply be blind to the idea if they weren't on the look out.

And then there's that weird "twilight zone knock off" friend zone thing that everybody's been bringing up for the last too many years. Apparently you're not supposed to go in there.

Also some people believe relationships to be like a tap of sex. None of that bottled one-night stand business for them.

KnifeWRENCH

I've been doing the single thing for a long time now. It's not much fun.
I don't have the "actively seeking a relationship" mentality though. Nothing wrong with one-night stands/random hook ups. If I meet someone I like and it turns into a serious relationship, that's great but if it doesn't it's not the end of the world or anything.