How far is too far on first date?

LegacyUser

I'm 29 and had a date Friday night with a guy from the internet who is 32.
We had been chatting for a couple of weeks before we met.

On Friday night we met up and had a fun night - closed the bar.
We were heading back home (live in the same direction) and I decided to invite him in - just to chat.

One thing lead to another however and we ended up fooling around. It just went as far as oral sex - no intercourse.

I haven't heard from him since. Before we fooled around he was making plans to see me again.
I can't help but wonder if he was just saying that to get his leg over? Or maybe I went too far with him on the first date?

For men who aren't into girls who have sex on the first date, how far is too far? Do you think I gave away too much too soon?

LegacyUser

hey op, i know where you are coming from and in my experience it depends on the guy.

If he was really interested in seeing you again, i wouldnt think a roll in the hay would put him off all that much (could be a good way of weeding out the guys who are just looking for one thing ;D )

Each guy is different, Ive gone out for years with guys Ive fooled around with the first date, and equally stopped seeing people after a few dates that I didnt do anythin other than kiss. If hes interested, theres no reason he wont want to see you again at least one more time in my opinion.

Listen OP, instead of sitting at home fretting, why dont you just text him? You could say something like 'hey, i had a great time friday, how was your weekend? Hate when its over!'

....or somethin like that to test the waters. If you havent received a reply in about a day or so, Id forget it and chalk it up to experience. But at least if you text him, youll know one way or another, and wont be sitting at home analysing the night over again looking at your phone (ive never ever done that! haha). Youve nothing to lose, go for it!

Good luck!

GigaByte

The next day I'd be wondering how often do you do that.

ChocolateRamses

GigaByte wrote: »

The next day I'd be wondering how often do you do that.

I've never in my life thought that about a woman I've slept with on the first date. Mostly because I'm not a fan of double standards.

OP it's possible this guy hasn't called you because you "gave away", it's also possible there's some other reason, it's generally not a great idea to take anything said while under the influence too seriously, he may have meant it when he was drunk and making plans to meet you again, but sober he may have felt differently.

Do guys in general think less of a woman who "put out" on the first date, some guys do, some guys don't, there's no set rule.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Ah now, we're all adults and we want a bit of fun and enjoy ourselves. There's no harm in anything ye did and there really is no hard and fast rules.

As one of the other posters said, give him a text and if you want to meet up again, meet up, and don't over analyse things.

jenga-jen

OP let's turn it on its head here...

Equally you haven't been in contact with him, do you think less of him for fooling around with you after your date? I doubt it, so don't assume that's how he's feeling either.

At the end of the day, if he IS judging you then tbh you're well rid of him! Why would you think much of someone who'll mutually fool around with you and then judge you for it!?

You could test the waters with a casual text although only you know how things went when he was leaving your place after everything had happened. The atmosphere at this point rather than his plans to see you again should give you a good indication.

Try not to worry too much though, what's done is done and either way you can look at it as a learning experience

Barracudaincork

OP, asking if you think having oral sex is going too far on a first date as he hasnt called you is, Id say about as likely as the fact you didnt have sex being the reason he hasnt called you! Either one are crazy reasons.

If he likes you, he likes you and the fact you had oral sex wont change that, just as much as it wouldnt do for you.

You know you need to relax and see what happens but we all know that is easier said than done, so in times of not being able to relax and see what happens, read this thread again and you will relax more before you know it.

GigaByte

ChocolateRamses wrote: »

I've never in my life thought that about a woman I've slept with on the first date. Mostly because I'm not a fan of double standards.

What are you on about double standards? I didn't say there's anything wrong with one night stands? I've had a few in the past but that's what a one night stand is. I'd have no intention of taking it any where else.

Looks like it was just a one night stand, if you're happy giving it up on first dates like ChocolateRamses, thats great for you and anyone you meet. Have fun but do you really think you're next boyfriend would be happy to find out that you (like ChocolateRamses) like to give it up on first dates?

You wouldn't have started this thread if you thought it was ok.

Nevyn

Egypt.


Personally if there was consensual sexual activities between myself and a person on our first date and it turned out they had such double standards and didn't want to see me again I would relieved. Also if a bf/gf suddenly developed issues with my sexual past they would be his/her issues and their loss if I had to end the relationship due to their issues.

ChocolateRamses

GigaByte wrote: »

What are you on about double standards? I didn't say there's anything wrong with one night stands? I've had a few in the past

And apparently when you did the first thing you thought about the girls involved the following morning was "I wonder how often she does that", while obviously not thinking the same about yourself, indicating that you think there's something wrong with a woman having a one-night-stand but nothing wrong with a man doing the same.

Which is a double standard genius. And for the record, I f*&"ing love one-night-stands!

Barracudaincork

GigaByte wrote: »

What are you on about double standards? I didn't say there's anything wrong with one night stands? I've had a few in the past but that's what a one night stand is. I'd have no intention of taking it any where else.

Looks like it was just a one night stand, if you're happy giving it up on first dates like ChocolateRamses, thats great for you and anyone you meet. Have fun but do you really think you're next boyfriend would be happy to find out that you (like ChocolateRamses) like to give it up on first dates?

You wouldn't have started this thread if you thought it was ok.

Its hard to type when im laughing and shaking my head at the same time, so bare with me.

Im sorry Gigabyte but what age are you? Im guessing in your 90's to have such an outdated POV. The OP started this thread incase the guy she met happened to be as double standarded as you are ie its ok for you to have one night stands but not women, which makes me wonder who do you have these one night stands with? Surely not these women you speak so little of, doesnt your pecker deserve better than that?

GigaByte

Barracudaincork wrote: »

Blah blah I didn't understand your post so I'll just talk garbage

A one night stand does not mean I'm going to date the girl in question, I wouldn't date a girl who gives it up on the first date. Notice the word "I", now if you didn't read the OP's opening post I suggest you read her last comment.

If you think most blokes think a girls who gives it up on the first date is marriage material you're living on planet cuckoo. Same with most girls.

GigaByte

ChocolateRamses wrote: »

And apparently when you did the first thing you thought about the girls involved the following morning was "I wonder how often she does that", while obviously not thinking the same about yourself, indicating that you think there's something wrong with a woman having a one-night-stand but nothing wrong with a man doing the same.

Which is a double standard genius. And for the record, I f*&"ing love one-night-stands!

That not a double standard you moron! A double standard would be for me to say its wrong for her to do that but ok for me to do that! I loved one night stands but that's exactly how I would see it, a one night stand! :pac:

Edit: In fact if I was bored one night and had nothing to do I'd go through the list of one night stands and see it any are interested in another, there's nothing wrong with that is there? You would do the same, yes?

Barracudaincork

GigaByte wrote: »

A one night stand does not mean I'm going to date the girl in question, I wouldn't date a girl who gives it up on the first date. Notice the word "I", now if you didn't read the OP's opening post I suggest you read her last comment.

If you think most blokes think a girls who gives it up on the first date is marriage material you're living on planet cuckoo. Same with most girls.

Wow how clever are you, you quote my post and then edit it to suit yourself, wow that moment of pride must of been so sweet for you, bless!

Barracudaincork

GigaByte wrote: »

you moron!

oh dear things must be bad if you have to resort to name calling in order to get your point accross.

ChocolateRamses

GigaByte wrote: »

That not a double standard you moron! A double standard would be for me to say its wrong for her to do that but ok for me to do that! I loved one night stands but that's exactly how I would see it, a one night stand! :pac:

*sigh*

The double standard is inherent to the fact that you have a negative view of a woman who would have a one-night-stand with you, as you put it;

Gigabyte wrote:

I wouldn't date a girl who gives it up on the first date.

Why not? Unless you think there's something wrong with a girl who "gives it up on the first date".

Let's see you talk yourself out of that Genius

e04bf099

Toofar? wrote: »

For men who aren't into girls who have sex on the first date, how far is too far? Do you think I gave away too much too soon?

Hi OP,

I haven't read your replies but I might just give you my take. I don't know whether women know this or not, or if its similar for women or not, but if a lad doesn't know a girl very well, and talking for a couple of weeks on the web and then having one date counts as not knowing you very well, then a male orgasm can be a little empty. This goes for all men, despite what they might say. Lads will lie to get their end off, even if they are usually very honest and candid, and even if the slight majority of lads will avoid and try not to do this. Its an easy habit to slip into, people lie to themselves all the time.

Stay with me, this meander has a point:)

Well, in said scenario, when a lad cums, he instantaniously loses all interest in the girl he is with. This can be unnerving, as often lads will want to experience something more from sex, and they might wonder why they are doing this. Its irritating to go from elation to a kind of ordinary apathy in such an immediate way. He can then connect this kind of turmoil (and this is an issue for a lot of men, I know lads who have played around, messed around with women all of their adult life and then in their late twenties/early thirties, stopped enjoying casual sex as much as they used to and found it difficult to cum) with the woman, and just decide to leave it, no matter how much fun he had on the first date.

This is why its a bad idea, often, to sleep with lads on the first date if you want sonething more. He'll want to have sex before, when you invite up. But as soon as its done, he'll realise that he wants more, he wants security/family/future/a relationship, but he'll connect you with the habitual search for casual sex, and he'll think that thats what you're interested in. I broke up with a girl a couple of years ago because when we were out we spent more time anticipating and waiting for the appropriate time go back to hers or mine, that we neglected the actual process of forming a friendship and a bond. Anyone that says that a relationship is fundamentally about sex is a fool. The basis of a relationship is friendship, simple as.

So if you're interested in casual sex then the first date is fine, as long as you're safe. If you want to send a message that you are interested in going further then I wouldn't go past a passionate kiss.

Good luck:)

GigaByte

ChocolateRamses wrote: »

*sigh*

The double standard is inherent to the fact that you have a negative view of a woman who would have a one-night-stand with you, as you put it;

Wondering how often she does that is not a negative view and not a double standard. I have in the past been very grateful for one night stands but it always crosses my mind the next day while I'm hung over sitting in the taxi going home, how often has she's done that, I wonder did she do that last week? Don't lie and tell me you've never thought about that. I'm pretty sure the girls who I've had a one night stand have thought the same as well.

Even the OP is thinking, how often has he done this?? Maybe he's on the internet looking for a one night stand. There's plenty of threads here about bad internet blokes, etc...

ChocolateRamses wrote: »

Why not? Unless you think there's something wrong with a girl who "gives it up on the first date".

Let's see you talk yourself out of that Genius

There's nothing wrong with a girl who gives it up on a first date, it would just put me off her. I've never said there was anything wrong, I have a prefference for brown hair doesn't mean there's anything wrong with blondes.

I've had lots of one night stands in the past with blondes, nothing wrong with that?

Riskymove

GigaByte wrote: »

Wondering how often she does that is not a negative view and not a double standard. I have in the past been very grateful for one night stands but it always crosses my mind the next day while I'm hung over sitting in the taxi going home, how often has she's done that, I wonder did she do that last week? Don't lie and tell me you've never thought about that. I'm pretty sure the girls who I've had a one night stand have thought the same as well.

so you've had sex on the first date then?

do you expect women to date you?

that's where the double standard is

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Peggypeg

GigaByte wrote: »

A one night stand does not mean I'm going to date the girl in question, I wouldn't date a girl who gives it up on the first date. Notice the word "I", now if you didn't read the OP's opening post I suggest you read her last comment.

If you think most blokes think a girls who gives it up on the first date is marriage material you're living on planet cuckoo. Same with most girls.

Wow Gigabyte, you're so twisted. FYI I slept with my boyfriend on our first date and now 3 & 1/2 years later marraige and houses and kids is what we're looking forward to. Cop yourself on, if you think men are still behaving like it's the 1950's and judging women like you do then you're the one living on planet cuckoo. In fact you're living on Planet Hypocrite, Backwards and Sexist, is it lonely there? I'd say it must be, no men I know would actually admit to even thinking what you've just said you think. Maybe get yourself into coucelling to figure out why you have such issues with women.

reprazant

GigaByte wrote: »

What are you on about double standards? I didn't say there's anything wrong with one night stands? I've had a few in the past but that's what a one night stand is. I'd have no intention of taking it any where else.

Looks like it was just a one night stand, if you're happy giving it up on first dates like ChocolateRamses, thats great for you and anyone you meet. Have fun but do you really think you're next boyfriend would be happy to find out that you (like ChocolateRamses) like to give it up on first dates?

You wouldn't have started this thread if you thought it was ok.

I has sex with both my current girlfriend and previous girlfriend on our first dates.

I did not and still do not care that they 'gave it up on the first night'. What happened happened because it felt like the right thing. It happened because we had great nights and it felt like a continuation of that.

You have some strange outlook on sex if judge a girl on if she 'gave it up' on the first date. It is a natural, organic act. I couldn't give a toss what they did with previous boyfriends because it has no relevance to me.

Who uses the term 'gave it up' anyway? You sound like you are from the 1950's.

GigaByte

Peggypeg wrote: »

Wow Gigabyte, you're so twisted. FYI I slept with my boyfriend on our first date and now 3 & 1/2 years later marraige and houses and kids is what we're looking forward to.

That's great I'm delighted for you!

I've no problem with you doing that, did I say it was wrong? Answer me one question how many other blokes did you sleep with on the first date?

Some girls like to having sex on first dates with some one they just met.

GigaByte

reprazant wrote: »

I has sex with both my current girlfriend and previous girlfriend on our first dates.

Shouldn't you be telling the OP that? Why would I care?

reprazant

GigaByte wrote: »

Shouldn't you be telling the OP that? Why would I care?

True, OP if he isn't the type of man who would readily sleep with a girl on the first day but then sneer and look down at her that she did it, I would imagine that he would have no problem with it.

e04bf099

Riskymove wrote: »

so you've had sex on the first date then?

do you expect women to date you?

that's where the double standard is

Wondering doesn't mean he is being critical. You might well wonder because you want to figure out what they're interested in. You can't often ask until a few dates in, what they're inetersted in, because he/she requires the space to figure that out. So you might wonder, are they looking for a one-night-stand or are they looking for something more substantial. A man or a woman can wonder about this equally.

So YOU are the one with the double-standard, as you seem to be saying that women can wonder about what a man is interested in, but a man can't wonder about what a woman's interests are?

"Does she do this often?" is just a half-step away from "What does she want out of this?"

A lad could reasonably deduce, should he go down on a girl or vice versa, that she is just looking for a casual fling.

Also, if he found her on the web, i.e. a dating website, then he may have gone out with a couple of girls around the same time and just felt a better connection with d'other one. It could have absolutely nothing to do with how far they went.

Riskymove

e04bf099 wrote: »

So YOU are the one with the double-standard, as you seem to be saying that women can wonder about what a man is interested in, but a man can't wonder about what a woman's interests are?

huh? I dont know what you are going about "wondering"


to clarify:

Gigabyte stated quite clearly he has had sex on the first date yet he also says that he would not date a girl that did this...they are not "marriage material"

yet i presume he considers himself marraige material to someone despite having done so himself

that is a double standard

Peggypeg

GigaByte wrote: »

That's great I'm delighted for you!

I've no problem with you doing that, did I say it was wrong? Answer me one question how many other blokes did you sleep with on the first date?

Some girls like to having sex on first dates with some one they just met.

To be quite honest with you sweetie, I've only ever slept with two men, the first from the age of 19 to 24 and next from 24 to now. Not sure what you're trying to get at there though?

Emme

I would take a bit longer to get to know somebody I initially met on the internet than I initially met face to face. It's all about richness of communication, ie if you're talking to somebody face to face it's a richer form of communication than talking to them on the phone which is richer than talking to them on the web. So even though you might have talked to somebody on the web for ages, if you haven't met them face to face they're still a stranger, so to speak.

I think the OP should stop worrying and move on. If he calls he calls, if he doesn't he doesn't. Get on with life in the meantime and only go as far with a guy as you're comfortable with.

It's like this, would you like to have somebody who judges women on their sexual availability as a partner? Spontaneity and passion are great, but if you meet somebody off the net it's likely they're dating several people at once so it's no harm in making them put in a bit of effort before giving up all the goods.

GigaByte

Peggypeg wrote: »

To be quite honest with you sweetie, I've only ever slept with two men, the first from the age of 19 to 24 and next from 24 to now. Not sure what you're trying to get at there though?

I'm guessing you've had more than 2 dates, so there was obviously something special about your husband that made you feel comfortable to sleep with him on the first date but for all the other blokes you didn't sleep with them on the first date?

Why not? I'm sure you liked them but something stopped you from sleeping with them.

GigaByte

Riskymove wrote: »

huh? I dont know what you are going about "wondering"


to clarify:

Gigabyte stated quite clearly he has had sex on the first date yet he also says that he would not date a girl that did this...they are not "marriage material"

yet i presume he considers himself marraige material to someone despite having done so himself

that is a double standard

I said I wouldn't date a woman who slept with "me on the first date", that to me would be casual sex and thats as far as its going to go. I never said I wouldn't date a girl who's slept with someone on their first date, how would I know that???

For all I know my current girlfriend could have slept with her last boyfriend on the first date, her past is her past.

e04bf099

Riskymove wrote: »

huh? I dont know what you are going about "wondering"


to clarify:

Gigabyte stated quite clearly he has had sex on the first date yet he also says that he would not date a girl that did this...they are not "marriage material"

yet i presume he considers himself marraige material to someone despite having done so himself

that is a double standard

Ok, I didn't read the first page of replies on this thread. "Wondering" was Gigabyte's word. By what he has been writing on this page of the thread, I read into it differently than yourself, which means that he realised that he was slightly in the wrong and subtly changed his point. I'm not gonna read back, I presume he did use the expression "marraige material", which is a pretty outdated.
@Gigabyte, if thats not true, then fair enough, I'll not argue.

But still, in terms of what the OP is interested in, for her benefit, and for his and her clarity, I'd wait a little while. It just makes sense to me, but maybe other people don't think sex is such a big deal and it makes no difference whether you do it on the first or the 10th date. Its not a moral thing, its just about intentions. A mate of mine is only ever interested in casual sex. He can string a girl along for months, her in the hope that something will develop. He doesn't even have to lie, he just doesn't talk about it. 2 or 3 girls have found out the hard way that he just doesn't care about them. I don't care, he can do what he wants as far as I'm concerned, but women should know that lads will do this and a lengthy sexual relationship to a lad does not always mean "marraige material" to put in a discourteous way. And then there are other lads (lots of them) like myself that are not interested in a sexual relationship that has no potential to go further. This is OT, sorry.

Peggypeg

GigaByte wrote: »

I'm guessing you've had more than 2 dates, so there was obviously something special about your husband that made you feel comfortable to sleep with him on the first date but for all the other blokes you didn't sleep with them on the first date?

Why not? I'm sure you liked them but something stopped you from sleeping with them.

Jesus you assume an awful lot. First of all I'm not married. Why are you sure: "I'm sure you liked them but something stopped you from sleeping with them." If I'd have liked them I would have slept with them if that's what I wanted. Are you implying that women don't sleep with men because it will sully their name and make them unmarriable? You need to hop back into that time machine sweetheart because if you keep going around with that outlook you're likely to end up alone and miserable or making some poor girl miserable.

GigaByte

e04bf099 wrote: »

@Gigabyte, if thats not true, then fair enough, I'll not argue.

He added the "marraige material" himself.

GigaByte

Peggypeg wrote: »

Jesus you assume an awful lot. First of all I'm not married.

Don't take offense to my mistake, I thought you said you where married but now I've re read it you are looking to get married. He's not asked you then?

Peggypeg wrote: »

Why are you sure: "I'm sure you liked them but something stopped you from sleeping with them." If I'd have liked them I would have slept with them if that's what I wanted.

Thats fine, so you just date people you don't like then? You're a clever girl playing with their emotions.

Peggypeg wrote: »

Are you implying that women don't sleep with men because it will sully their name and make them unmarriable?

Show me where I've implied or said that, you've just said it so it's playing on your mind. So that's what you think then!

Peggypeg wrote: »

You need to hop back into that time machine sweetheart because if you keep going around with that outlook you're likely to end up alone and miserable or making some poor girl miserable.

Look into your mirror, you're the one who's unhappy.

e04bf099

Peggypeg wrote: »

Are you implying that women don't sleep with men because it will sully their name and make them unmarriable? You need to hop back into that time machine sweetheart because if you keep going around with that outlook you're likely to end up alone and miserable or making some poor girl miserable.

You're assuming a lot as well. I can't find where he said anything like that, and he says he didn't use the expression "marraige material". I don't know why that was put in misleading inverted commas if it wasn't a quote. You need to go back in time and read his posts tbh, you are being ridiculously defensive. He has every right to not go out with a girl again if she sleeps with him. I probably wouldn't, depending on the girl, for reasons I outlined already. You have no right to attack him as a chauvenist if he made no comments in that vain, and to say he'll be miserable or make "some poor girl miserable" (sounds pretty chauvenistic to me, sure girls can look after themselves, I'm sure you can) is crazy.

Plenty of people don't like any kind of drug use. Plenty of people like smoking hash or weed. A person has a right to say he/she would not like to date someone who smokes weed and he/she doesn't have to provide a reason. Gigabyte has every right to say he'd not like to date a girl he slept with on the first date, and he does not have to provide a reason. That doesn't mean he has double standards, he probably wouldn't date a man he had sex with either. That would be double standards, if he'd date a man in similar circumstances. But he doesn't want to date himself

Riskymove

GigaByte wrote: »

He added the "marraige material" himself.

Gigabyte said this

If you think most blokes think a girls who gives it up on the first date is marriage material you're living on planet cuckoo. Same with most girls.

and in relation to this:

I never said I wouldn't date a girl who's slept with someone on their first date, how would I know that???

you'd know if it was you on the date!

GigaByte

e04bf099 wrote: »

But he doesn't want to date himself

I don't see what the problem is, I haven't said anywhere that some one is a bad person for sleeping with some one on the first date. I'd just not be interested. As e04bf099 pointed out everyone has a reason why they wouldn't date such and such a person. I can't change that fact.

I don't like prawns either! :P

Riskymove

e04bf099 wrote: »

You're assuming a lot as well. I can't find where he said anything like that, and he says he didn't use the expression "marraige material". I don't know why that was put in misleading inverted commas if it wasn't a quote.

see above, he did say it

He has every right to not go out with a girl again if she sleeps with him.

of course that is his right

what has annoyed people is the implication that a woman having sex on the first date is not marriage material while he himself can have sex on the first date without any reflection on his character

GigaByte

Riskymove wrote: »

what has annoyed people is the implication that a woman having sex on the first date is not marriage material while he himself can have sex on the first date without any reflection on his character

I see what you mean from re-reading the posts but what I was talking about is after a one night stand not having a relationship with a girl who's had one night stands in the past. The topic of the thread is about a one night stand and that is what I've been referring to.

GigaByte

It's quite clear that some poster's don't like my opinion but I'd just like to clear this up. I don't think any differently of anyone here and wouldn't try to change anyone’s opinion or views. What we all do and think can be seemed as strange or stupid to someone else, we are all different individuals. Just because I have a different view doesn't make it wrong or it doesn't make it right. I think whats important here is that the OP realises from the replies in this thread is that, everyone is different.

Some people may think differently of you the next day and also some people may want you more the next day, unfortunatly no one here's knows how he may have felt. It's up to you how to move on from here and what to think, best of luck to you in the future. :-)

ChocolateRamses

GigaByte wrote: »

Just because I have a different view doesn't make it wrong or it doesn't make it right.

It also doesn't change the fact that part, and parcel of your view is a massive double standard, the fact that you can't see that is incidental.

Let me ask you this; if you have a one-night-stand with a girl, and the next day you're busy patting yourself on the back and thinking "wow, I would not want to be married to her, god knows how often she's GIVEN IT UP", do you also apply that logic to yourself?

GigaByte

ChocolateRamses wrote: »

Let me ask you this; if you have a one-night-stand with a girl, and the next day you're busy patting yourself on the back and thinking "wow, I would not want to be married to her, god knows how often she's GIVEN IT UP", do you also apply that logic to yourself?

I wouldn't have been thinking about marriage after a one night stand! lol

I would have thought that was fun, I wonder did she sleep with anyone last night? nothing wrong with that. Who knows maybe after I left she was thinking the same thing about me. She might apply that logic, She could be thinking "thank god I don't have to see him again" and that would be that.

How about you? after all your one night stands, is that what your thinking about marriage? Very strange to be thinking about marriage after one night?

LegacyUser

Toofar? wrote: »

I haven't heard from him since. Before we fooled around he was making plans to see me again.
I can't help but wonder if he was just saying that to get his leg over? Or maybe I went too far with him on the first date?

For men who aren't into girls who have sex on the first date, how far is too far? Do you think I gave away too much too soon?

If he's the sort of man who'll happily fool around with you, and then decide that you're not good enough because you fooled around with him, you're better off without him anyway. Keep away from those who think they're god's gift.

Then again, maybe he just hasn't had the chance to contact you. If you don't hear from him, ring him yourself. Either way, you won't be left wondering.

e04bf099

GigaByte wrote: »

I see what you mean from re-reading the posts but what I was talking about is after a one night stand not having a relationship with a girl who's had one night stands in the past.

I can't finish that sentance without forgetting how it started:eek:

GigaByte

e04bf099 wrote: »

I can't finish that sentance without forgetting how it started:eek:

Missing a comma in there! It should be

Gigabyte wrote:

I see what you mean from re-reading the posts. What I was talking about is after a one night stand, not having a relationship with a girl who's had one night stands in the past.

Zascar

I really do not understand this myth that women have conjured up between themselves that says if you give him anything more than a kiss on the first date he'll never call you again. Complete load of bollocks. If after he likes you and enjoyed the date, he'll call you. If he did not, he won't. Simple as. The thing is though that even if he does not like you one single little bit, he will still try to sleep with you. Sometimes if the date is no good, at least a shag will make it worthwhile.

LegacyUser

Hi All,
Thanks for the replies.

Just for the record, I wouldn't want to date anyone who held that double-standard toward women. I think what is annoying me is the change in behaviour - i.e pre fooling around there was talk about meeting up several times and suggestions that this was going somewhere. The next afternoon he just casually said he'd be in touch.
I guess what I'm potentially angry at is if he used that pre-talk just to get me to have sex with him!

I was also wondering if men draw a line between intercourse and oral sex -- or are both considered 'giving it away' in the antiquated way that gigabyte thinks about sexual relationships?

I still haven't heard from him and no I won't be contacting him. I think it's fair to say that Irish men will contact you if they're interested.

I could care less at the end of the day I just don't like being played! It's one thing if a one-night stand is mutual (though I don't consider this a one night stand because we didn't have sex) but it's another thing to lead someone to believe it wasn't a one night stand just to get their leg over! It's so manipulative and disgusting!

ChocolateRamses

GigaByte wrote: »

How about you? after all your one night stands, is that what your thinking about marriage? Very strange to be thinking about marriage after one night?

In the first instance it was you who claimed his first reaction to a woman he's just had a one-night-stand with is to think "She's not marriage material".

I don't need to clarify my thoughts after a one-night-stand, mostly because I'm asleep

Liam Byrne

GigaByte wrote: »

I wouldn't date a girl who gives it up on the first date.

Lucky for you.....because if that girl that you're talking about decided that she wouldn't date a guy who gives it up on the first date, you wouldn't get a chance to!

OP - my take would be that if he likes you, he likes you. And as someone else has pointed out he might be a tosser who (a) said stuff to get somewhere and/or (b) was p'd off that he didn't get the whole deal.

The bottom line is that you don't know.

Take that night as the fun that it was, and if he calls (or if you call him) he's worth a shot, and if not, you're better off.

Liam Byrne

OP here wrote: »

I wouldn't want to date anyone who held that double-standard toward women.

:
:
:

I think it's fair to say that Irish men will contact you if they're interested.

I agree with a lot of what you posted, but the above is a bit of a double-standard too.