Genius Excuses to your boss for why you were late to work(due to drunk sleep)

Michael1987

Hi there, need some advice.
I had an unreal night last night, but too much drink was had.
When it came time to wake up my clever subconsious turned off the alarm allowing me to sleep in til 11.


What is a genius excuse that will get me off the hook no questions asked?! : )

Stercus Accidit

Michael you were 3 hours late to work this morning, don't bother coming in tomorrow.

funk-you

Alarm didn't go off. Your boss is human too, it happens. Apologise and assure him it work happen again.

Then have butt-sex with his wife.

-Funk

gent9662

Snared!

Choke

Period cramps.

No questions asked.

Saint_Mel

Tell him you had a woeful dose of the old bum gravy and were waiting for the immodium to kick in

Dravokivich

"There was a crash on the luas line... a truck rolled over and had to get a crane in... no bustop near me within 40 mins walk of here"

Fúck i was lucky that day...

- Drav!

cherryghost

'Theres loose cattle on the road, cant gett he car anywhere at the mo'

meditraitor

Tell your boss to get fucked, theres loads of work out there;)

Gone Drinking

Tell him you were fcuking his daughter and lost track of time. Apologise and tell him next time, you'll do it at the weekend

Jet Black

Tell your boss you were shaging his wife. He wont care that you were late then.

NothingMan

Just tell him, you were out and had a few drinks. Hooked up with an amazing looking girl who brought you back to hers and let you do filthy things to her all night long. You awoke in a pile of sweat, poop & blood and had to find your way home, wash the stench of sex & guilt off you and you made it to work by 11.

Any self respecting man will just high five you and say niiicee....

stovelid

Just say sorry boss, I was just asking for incriminating advice on the busiest forum of the biggest social site in the country, clearly stating the day of absence and hours missed and using my name and date of birth as user name.

Should be fine.

Here's a useful link:

http://www.welfare.ie/

Sheeps

Play dead.

meditraitor

Join a club

Michael1987

The boss is female...

meditraitor

Michael1987 wrote: »

The boss is female...

Tell her yell lick her out if she doesnt sack you........:p

Red Hand

Michael1987 wrote: »

Hi there, need some advice.
I had an unreal night last night, but too much drink was had.
When it came time to wake up my clever subconsious turned off the alarm allowing me to sleep in til 11.
I missed the first 3 hours of work and I've got an email asking me to explain why I missed (the thing I had this morning in work).

I've got a dentist app next week, and before anyone says I don't want to use a funeral excuse. What is a genius excuse that will get me off the hook no questions asked?! : )

I don't know whether you are aware, but I'm a boards.ie user and just came across your thread here.

Could you see me in my office for a chat first thing tomorrow morning?

pickarooney

You were snowed/iced in.

Is that still going on?

Agricola

Just tell him your not down with this 9am sheeet every morning. You think the world needs to chill-axe the fúck out and roll into work round 11 every now and then. I mean its a recession like, not as if your snowed under with work Id imagine. :cool:

zonEEE

Agricola wrote: »

Just tell him your not down with this 9am sheeet every morning. You think the world needs to chill-axe the fúck out and roll into work round 11 every now and then. I mean its a recession like, not as if your snowed under with work Id imagine. :cool:

gona try this tomorrow and see how it turns out.

muppetkiller

Just take the whole day off and tell her you had that 24 hour vomiting bug.. I had it Tuesday and it was rotten..but did pass in 24 hours.

Michael1987

zonEEE wrote: »

gona try this tomorrow and see how it turns out.

true true

It's between this and the bum gravy one I reckon

genericguy

tell her you have diarrhea and your boots leak, she'll give you the whole fcuking day off.

Fizman

Tell her you spent the entire morning with her husband. That's assuming she's married. If she's single, tell her you spent it with her dad.

TheGod

Tell her you accidently drank too much the night before and overslept your alarm clock.

Then boink her on her desk.

Minstrel27

Tell the truth. Unless you sleep in regularly there shouldn't be a problem.

witnessmenow

Tell her you were out for a quite one and someone spiked your drink

WindSock

Tell her she has her period.

Fizman

Adjust all the timepieces in her life, and then convince her that she was in fact far too early today. You were perfectly on time.

Then tell her she's crazy and you find it difficult to perform in such an environment.

davyjose

I'm confused. it's 5 o'clock. How come you haven't seen your boss yet?

sorrywhat

davyjose wrote: »

I'm confused. it's 5 o'clock. How come you haven't seen your boss yet?

Maybe he knocked her out until he had the right answer as to why he was late....

Now he just has to explain why he knocked her out

CrazyRabbit

From personal experience, I can guarantee you that faking your own kidnapping won't work.

Bazzy

Tell her you popped over to haiti to dig a few lado's out of the ground or you were busy helping your buddy MR fritzel build a "Wine Cellar"

Kiera

davyjose wrote: »

I'm confused. it's 5 o'clock. How come you haven't seen your boss yet?

Yeah i was thinking the same thing? What did you tell your boss, OP?

pebbles21

Tell her to fcuk off back to the kitchen where she belongs

Tell her there was a car crash where you live and you had to stick around for the guards etc. and make a statement.

Three months from now, take another day off for the "court case".

stovelid

WindSock wrote: »

Tell her she has her period.

That'll just be like a rag to a bull.

pretty-in-pink

stovelid wrote: »

That'll just be like a rag to a bull.

oh god thats horribly vivid....



OP, I once forgot to call in sick & dreamt that Idid in my delirium. I was so convinced that I had my boss thought I did too & forgot it!

stovelid

luckyinlove wrote: »

oh god thats horribly vivid....

I could have opted for in a jam which might have been worse...

pretty-in-pink

he'd be bloody lucky if she didn't kill him for that

Dunjohn

Apologise for being twenty-two hours early for work, then go home and get back into bed.

pablomakaveli

Tell her you broke your banjo string while having rough sex with your girlfriend and had to go to hospital.

stepbar

The washing machine blew it's load........

Rented Mule

Considering most people missed his 61st birthday this week, I thought I would throw this one out there.


Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD.

Son Of A Vidic

Tell your boss you had serious morning sickness and you suspect you might be pregnant. If your challenged on this, state promptly that it's a 'sympathy pregnancy' - men get it all the time. Or you could tell him that you recoiled in terror at what you had just deposited in the 'bog'. In the process, you cracked your head on the wall and was render unconscious. The noxious fumes ensured you remained unconscious.

starbelgrade

I find it very hard to fool my boss about being late due to hangovers.

Especially as I am the boss.

Borneo Fnctn

Aww sorry boss, I can't make it in today. I've to fax me soul off to God.

Blondini

Tell him you're an alcoholic and this is a side effect of your lllness. You can't be sacked for having a recognised disease.

derfderf

Tell her you were up all nite furiously fapping but you couldn't find any videos on the internet you hadn't seen before to close the deal.
If she won't believe you show her your severely chaffed penis.

IvySlayer

WindSock wrote: »

Tell her she has her period.

Biggest mistake ever.