Buying drinks for women?

Will

Seen this on reddit, very good response and a nice insight into some gentlemen's minds.

So a couple of weeks ago a put up a post regarding the etiquette of intersexual drink-buying at bars. Lo and behold, this past weekend a friend of mine got burned at the tav by falling for the exact trap that my post warned against. Accordingly, I felt compelled to repost for the benefit of all the beautiful women in Salt Lake who don't want to scroll all the way down to find the original post. This may be redundant, but I cannot in good conscience let this phenomenon go overlooked. So here it is again: Why I didn't Buy You a Drink.

You: Cute girl at the bar.
Me: The guy you chatted with while waiting for our drinks.
The Topic: Why I didn’t buy you a drink.
The Audience: Women everywhere, please read this. I know it’s long, but I feel the length is expedient to truly illustrating and arguing my point.

I was waiting to order right as things were getting crazy. It was obvious that it would be a long wait. What can I say? I can’t compete with all the douches yelling for jager bombs. It was then that you appeared. A cute, petite, slightly hipster-ish girl standing next to me, waiting to order as well. The conversation began in the typical manner, simply relating on how frustrating it is when you spend half a night out just waiting for a drink. It then evolved into a true conversation. I spent the next twenty minutes finding out you have great taste in music, movies and literature. You laughed at my jokes, and that’s a big deal to average-looking guys like me.
Unfortunately, after we’d both finished our respective drinks, but were still immersed in discussion, you dropped a bomb that sent shrapnel into my heart.

“So are you gonna buy me a drink or what?”

I had been dreading this moment. I’ve learned from hard experience that any prolonged conversation with a girl at a club or a bar inevitably requires a fee of rum and coke, vodka tonic, or God forbid, a cosmo. As cute as you were, I felt obligated to retain my self-respect.

“Sorry, I don’t buy girls drinks. Just kind of my policy.”

You looked at me like I told you I was going to rape your dog Charlie (yes, I remember his name). Your face morphed from a beautiful smile into a twisted caricature of shock, revulsion, and utter disbelief.

“Seriously, you’re not gonna buy me a drink? What’s your problem?”

Well sweetheart, let me explain to you in detail my logic regarding this decision that you found so unbelievable:

1. I’ve been going to bars for a couple of years now. I enjoy meeting people when I do. I enjoy meeting attractive girls like yourself. I have, however, learned that buying girls drinks is a sucker’s game. Yes, it has developed into sharing my bed for the night a couple times, but 90% of the time, all it does is give me a higher bar tab. Now you might say I’m a prick for expecting a girl to sleep with me just because I buy her a drink. I agree an $8 cocktail does not and should not equal a sexual encounter. However, I believe spending time and money on a girl when I could be having a good night out with my friends does entitle me at least one of the following things: You reciprocating by buying me a drink, you giving me your phone number and/or going out on a date with me, where once again I will be spending time and money on you. Notice that sex is not a requirement or expectation that is coupled with any of these options. Now, of course, if I had offered to buy you a drink, and you accepted, you are not obligated to any of these things. The big distinction here is that you asked me to buy you a drink, and were shocked that I wouldn’t do so. This brings me to my second point.

2. You know exactly what you’re doing. You’re an attractive girl, and when you go out there is no shortage of guys offering to buy you drinks. You know that they are all doing so with the hope that it will lead to sex with you. You know that it’s not going to happen, but you will accept the free drinks anyway. I don’t hold this against you. If they’re dumb enough to think that buying you a drink is the key to your heart and that they are somehow different from the other Ed Hardy-wearing frat-bros then it’s their own damn fault. You’re using your god-given assets to get free alcohol, nothing wrong with that. But it is precisely because I know that you do this that I will not be another douche who thinks he can get into your pants with a mixed drink. It’s insulting to my dignity as a man and your honor as a woman. I noticed you when you first walked in. I saw you dancing with that hopeless collar-popper. I saw him go to the bar and bring a drink back to you on the dancefloor. I saw how the second the glass was in your hand, you gave him the “Thanks for the drink, it was really nice meeting you” treatment complete with the obligatory pat on the chest. I saw the pathetic, defeated look on his face as you walked away. He will enter the next round of bar hopping a little wiser I hope.

3. You took my unwillingness to fall into such a trap as an insult. You accused me of being stuck-up. You then said that I had a chance at ****ing you, but that I’d ruined it by being an asshole. What exactly are you trying to tell me? That the asinine idea that getting a girl a drink will get you in her pants is actually true? That your decision of whether or not to sleep with a guy is based on him liquoring you up? We had a good conversation, and maybe you were actually interested in me. But the fact that any rapport we built was destroyed when I wouldn’t buy you a gin and tonic means that I am no longer interested in you. Not all guys are desperate sperm donors. Some of us actually value a good conversation, and we value girls who have enough respect for themselves that they don’t view sex as a transaction.

4. We established during our conversation that we are both broke-ass fine arts students. Why then would you expect that I, someone who shares your financial woes, would want to spend money on you, a girl I just met? I don’t believe that chivalry is dead. I’ll hold a door for you, I’ll pull out your chair or take your coat. I’ll help you change a flat tire, carry you over deep puddles, figure out the remote, reset your modem. I’ll even help you move when I know you a little better. Why? Because I’m a gentleman. I will not, however, buy you a drink under the pretense that it is what a gentleman does, because I simply cannot afford it. If you want a guy who can afford to buy you whatever you want, find a fifty year-old sugar daddy. There was no shortage of potentials at the bar the other night.

I hope this illustrated my thought-process clearly enough. I hope you realize that you seemed amazing at first, and that declining to buy you a drink was in no way an insult. Your reaction, however, revealed the self-entitled, game-playing she-devil that was lurking underneath. I thank god for the out that he provided at that moment though. Just after you finished your little rant on what I dick I was for not boozing you up, a group of girls emerged at the bar right behind you. Two of these girls were thin and pretty. They immediately got the attention of some bros and had free drinks within minutes. The third girl was overweight and out of place. She had clearly spent a great deal of time and effort on her appearance, but alas, she was once again forsaken by her prettier friends and left to stand by herself, looking miserable. Luckily, I know when the universe has given me a profound gift. There were two incredible moments that filled me with an elation that could not be rivaled by the orgasm I would have had while ****ing you. The first was the sincere, excited smile that the chubby girl gave me when I moved past you and asked what she wanted to drink. The second was turning back and seeing the look of horror on your face. You pathetic “have fun with the fatty” remark as you walked away was priceless. I may be broke, but I was willing to go into the red to make this girl’s night and to piss you off. I’m sure as soon as you left you got plenty of free drinks and plenty of idiots drooling over you. I just hope that I got under your skin enough to prevent any enjoyment of those things.

I had a great night. I introduced the big girl to an open-minded friend, and as I write this they are across the hall having loud sex. Normally going to bed alone, subjected to the sounds of raucous lovemaking across the hall would be a serious downer. But tonight, as I crawl into my lonely bed, I will go to sleep comforted by the fact that I have retained my self-respect. Having encountered more than a few spoiled bimbos, I infer that sex with you would have consisted of you lying on your back expecting me to be so grateful that I’m seeing your “hot” naked bod makes up for the fact that you are putting absolutely no effort into this sexual experience. This may just be me trying to justify going to bed alone tonight, but hey, what can you do?

The moral: Ladies, accept drinks if they are offered. Do not expect them. And if you’re feeling particularly wild on a given night, offer to buy the guy a drink. He will be instantly smitten.

Location: Downtown
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

I have in the past bought some women drinks, but not with the intention or expectation to get into their pants. Generally if a woman I don't know asks me to buy her a drink I will say "buy me one first" and a cheeky smile thrown in. she usually gets the message then.

The quote is very interesting and I agree with most of what the guy said. I believe women know exactly what they are at in these circumstances

redorblack

Thats a lot of typing, would have been easier and quicker just buying her a drink, 10% chance is better than no chance

And those are the exact reasons that I will never accept a drink from a guy in a bar! I am not going to sleep with them, I'm not going to give them my number and therefore I'm not going to lead them on.

The man is a legend!

LivingDeadGirl

Bit of a hypocrit to buy the other girl a drink isn't he? I know it was to prove a point but still. :rolleyes:

Will

I'd sooner buy a drink for a randomer than for some wagon who got annoyed cos I wouldn't buy her one.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

LivingDeadGirl wrote: »

Bit of a hypocrit to buy the other girl a drink isn't he? I know it was to prove a point but still. :rolleyes:

If he made her night then his supposed hypocrisy was well placed imho.

LivingDeadGirl

Deleted User wrote: »

And those are the exact reasons that I will never accept a drink from a guy in a bar! I am not going to sleep with them, I'm not going to give them my number and therefore I'm not going to lead them on.

The man is a legend!

Yeah I never let a guy buy me a drink unless I'm sure I'm interested in him, and even then I'm hesitant. Some guys really will think it's the key to your pants if you accept!

Kanye

From my point of view, the whole lads buying drinks for girls thing is a complete waste of time and money, as he has pointed out.

He alluded to this, but didn't hammer it home: lads, if you're wondering if a lady is into you on a night out, one way to find out for sure is to ask her to buy you a drink. If she buys you one (or more), the chances are that you'll seal the deal later. If she refuses, she's not that into you.

Of course, it might seem to be prickish and hypocritical to walk away at this stage, but remember that girls don't like hanging around with guys they're not into when they're out because other men tend not to approach groups of girls when there's a lad present - so if you stick around trying to make out you weren't just there for sexy-time, you might wreck her chances of getting laid. She won't be grateful.

Snowie

personally i dont have a problem buying a girl drink and i dont assume nuufink. But then again i dont really care im a out im being soical
end of...

drkpower

Will wrote: »

Generally if a woman I don't know asks me to buy her a drink I will....

.....tell her to get lost. Any woman who asks/expects a guy to buy her a drink is not worth it.

Unless it's a case of 'so are you going to buy me a drink....wink wink...nudge nudge....here's my room number', in which case it might be worth a fiver. But she is clearly a slapper, so its only worth it for the sake of a fumble in her greasy till;).

Teferi

Is buying girls drinks a done thing in Ireland? I never have and I'm pretty sure my mates don't. Obviously, I'm happy to buy my girlfriend, girls I'm on a date with etc. But I'd never buy a girl I just met a drink.

Warfi

This guy sounds like a nutjob. All he had to say was 'No I'm not buying you a drink' and walk off. There are far better ways of dealing with these situations other than ranting to an imaginary audience of women who are out to cheat men at every available opportunity.

thetonynator

response seems a little ott . . .

Warfi

Will wrote: »

Generally if a woman I don't know asks me to buy her a drink I will say "buy me one first" and a cheeky smile thrown in. she usually gets the message then.

Here we go....this would have been a far better way of dealing with the situation. You've side stepped the issue of buying a drink for someone you don't know, and at the same time you get to see whether she has a sense of humour or not. Win-win

metrovelvet

Did that come from craigslist.org?

He cant really say to the girl to by him one first or he would have been seen as worse than a lowlife. That's how it is in the US.

Warfi

Warfi wrote: »

This guy sounds like a nutjob. All he had to say was 'No I'm not buying you a drink' and walk off.

I got the impression that he did say no and that she made a big deal of it?
Am I reading it wrong?

vitalic

Do girls actually ask guys to buy them drinks?? Eh I'd rather pay for my own drinks thank you very much, independent woman and all that!

If a guy offers to buy me a drink I only accept if I actually have some interest in him, and no I don't mean interest in going home with him, just interest as in "hmm yeah if he asks for my number I would like to see him again" interest! I'd feel uncomfortable accepting a drink from someone trying to chat me up who I felt indifferent towards!

The only exception to this is when out with my friends, sometimes older men, say 40s/50s, usually business men, sometimes married... buy us a round of drinks... there's no expectations on their part (unless we are being incredibly naive!), they just happen to be standing near us at the bar and whatever and there's a bit of banter (competely non-flirty I might add!)

Wibbs

metrovelvet wrote: »

He cant really say to the girl to by him one first or he would have been seen as worse than a lowlife. That's how it is in the US.

A lot of this stuff is US based. A lot. The pickup artist stuff is in a big way. My take as Ive said before is America is a country where if you do well the rewards can be great, but if you dont and fall through the cracks it can be game over. It's much less forgiving. Many Americans are a paypacket or two away from living in their car. It stands to reason an american woman will be more cautious and look for a financially secure guy. Feck all to do with feminism either. The fact is she has to be pregnant and give birth and is financially vulnerable when doing so. Throw in a lack of a national free health service and this is compounded. So being seen as cheap is death socially. Unless you have a helluva lot else going on. Defo more than in Ireland where there are many more safety nets. So not buying a drink or a splurging on dates would not go down so well over there. Its a bigger part of the fitness of a man, more than here anyway. Though I have seen more of that kinda thinking in ireland in the last 20 years.

Then you have the wans here who are impossibly blond and made up who only carry taxi fare and live on saps buying them gargle. Theyre common enough.

As for buying drinks? I buy women drinks, but only if I know them. Basically with the same frequency I buy other men drinks. I wouldn't dream of buying a strange man a drink so why do it for a strange woman?

The Corinthian

vitalic wrote: »

Do girls actually ask guys to buy them drinks??

Yes. For some it is part of the ritual of seduction, for others it's a way to get a cheap night out (ruthless exploitation of guys who think they're in with a chance does happen).

If I like a girl, am getting on well with her and am in the mood, I will buy her a drink. For me this is a litmus test. If she takes it, then expects more or fails to offer one back or does not even thank you (beyond the minimum), then she and I will never have a serious relationship. Ever.

That type of self-entitlement never stops at drinks.

Warfi

Deleted User wrote: »

I got the impression that he did say no and that she made a big deal of it?
Am I reading it wrong?

He seems to take great pleasure in describing her reaction. If he really thought that she was that bad, he wouldn't have hung around to take in her reaction. I know if I'm near someone who makes me feel uncomfortable, I make my excuses and get out of there.

To be honest I read as far as 'And here's why I don't buy drinks...' and stopped reading. Initally it sounded like they had a bit of banter going on, and the girl waded in with 'How about getting me a drink?' It sounds to me like she was flirting with him, and he took offence at something that really was quite innocent and blew it all out of proportion. I'm not surprised that the girl was taken aback, she probably thought she was having a nice friendly conversation, and too late she realised she was trying to banter with a man who was on a mission to right all the wrongs women do.

Sofiztikated

Warfi wrote: »

He seems to take great pleasure in describing her reaction. If he really thought that she was that bad, he wouldn't have hung around to take in her reaction. I know if I'm near someone who makes me feel uncomfortable, I make my excuses and get out of there.

To be honest I read as far as 'And here's why I don't buy drinks...' and stopped reading. Initally it sounded like they had a bit of banter going on, and the girl waded in with 'How about getting me a drink?' It sounds to me like she was flirting with him, and he took offence at something that really was quite innocent and blew it all out of proportion. I'm not surprised that the girl was taken aback, she probably thought she was having a nice friendly conversation, and too late she realised she was trying to banter with a man who was on a mission to right all the wrongs women do.

Meh, I read it differently.

They were having some nice banter, she asked him to sub her a drink, he said no, and explained why, and she had a bit of a reaction to it.

I'd possibly be something similar.

LimeFruitGum

Teferi wrote: »

Is buying girls drinks a done thing in Ireland? I never have and I'm pretty sure my mates don't. Obviously, I'm happy to buy my girlfriend, girls I'm on a date with etc. But I'd never buy a girl I just met a drink.

Not that often!!

But I think it depends on the bar, if it is a place where you're likely to pull ;-)

metrovelvet

Warfi wrote: »

He seems to take great pleasure in describing her reaction. If he really thought that she was that bad, he wouldn't have hung around to take in her reaction. I know if I'm near someone who makes me feel uncomfortable, I make my excuses and get out of there.

To be honest I read as far as 'And here's why I don't buy drinks...' and stopped reading. Initally it sounded like they had a bit of banter going on, and the girl waded in with 'How about getting me a drink?' It sounds to me like she was flirting with him, and he took offence at something that really was quite innocent and blew it all out of proportion. I'm not surprised that the girl was taken aback, she probably thought she was having a nice friendly conversation, and too late she realised she was trying to banter with a man who was on a mission to right all the wrongs women do.

Thats exactly how I read it, as a come on, more than about the drink. If the author didn't pick that up then jesus christ what a dummy. It's like someone writing a blog about why he wont come in for a coffee at the end if the evening due to an allergy to caffeine or not liking coffee breath. Idiot.

Warfi

Sofiztikated wrote: »

Meh, I read it differently.

They were having some nice banter, she asked him to sub her a drink, he said no, and explained why, and she had a bit of a reaction to it.

I'd possibly be something similar.

I agree with the sentiment behind his blog (after all no-one wants to be taken for a mug), but I can't help but feel he has an axe to grind and is on a crusade to rid the world of evil.

I still maintain that the girl in his blog was flirting with him, and instead of returning the banter, he stopped it dead in its tracks. Have you ever gotten on really well with a stranger, you're having laughs, you think you have an idea of the person's personality. All of a sudden, bam, you've said something that didn't sit well and they're giving you the cold vibe? It's a bit disconcerting.

I've said similar to men myself (whether they buy me a drink or not is beside the point, I wouldn't care either way), but I've been lucky in that it was received with humour. Which makes for a great connection. And maybe more :pac:

CDfm

I think its convention for the guy to offer to buy the first drink but after that its about equals.

Its not unknown for girls to go to pubs for free drinks and to ask for them. You would have to be really tough to do that.

I know a woman who calls people up with the expection of being brought out when she has no money.You run out of friends like that.

helimachoptor

Honestly I think I may have bought 2 drinks for girls and I'm 27 and both were not at a bar, but were generally after having a bit of craic usually on the dance floor.

I've been asked many times to buy a drink by a girl at a bar, eh no thanks love why dont you buy me one and buck the trend!

shellyboo

I was with him up until the pity drinks for the fatty part. What a dick.

RightlyRandom

Personally i prefer buying my own drinks while out, think only once ever have i had a guy buy me a drink and at that we were both at the bar just got talking i ordered my drink then he orders his both orders were given to the same guy behind the bar at the same time n this guy the offers to pay for mine i told him it was ok id pay for it but he insisted and just handed the money to the bartender, i thanked him as you do we chatted again for a bit then he said his good-byes we hugged told me enjoy the rest of my night and walked away, that was it was really nice of him and was happy to get a free drink but i didnt ask for him to buy it for me and i dont think i could ever ask a random guy to buy me a drink id just feel out of place or something. On the other hand ive a friend she really pisses me off on a night out shes got a bf n will flirt her way through every guy on the dance floor n get em all to buy her a drink at some stage during the night, its totally wrong i dont agree with it at all n she knows how i feel cos ive told her many times but she refuses to spend her own money she could go out with €30 and end up €15 in her wallet by the end of the night cos she will never buy her own drink she'l spend 10 for the club n might buy one drink for herself r spend the 5 on a taxi home. She has often blagged an old friend of ours for drinks until i told the old friend whats she's like the old friend told me one night she spent at least €30 on drinks alone for my money hungry friend which is shocking!

so no i dont agree with girl asking for drink off random guys and maybe its ok to take a drink when being offered one but dont take the piss and try blag 3 r 4 drinks off the one guy or off a few random guys from the club its just wrong!

Smallbit

shellyboo wrote: »

I was with him up until the pity drinks for the fatty part. What a dick.

Yeah, isn't he a prince for introducing her to an 'open-minded friend of his'...

Though I agree with the overall sentiment of his post, he seems to be suffering a persecution complex along with an obsessive need to prove that he's nobody's fool.

Personally, I never ask for, or accept free drinks, and for the many reasons already covered here.

As for using the "are you going to buy me a drink?" line as a flirt - that's utter bullsh*t. When I've been offered a drink by guy I actually think might be interesting, my response is "I'll buy my own thanks, but let's keep talking..."

The last time I accepted a free drink was 17 years ago and when I said I wanted a pint of Heineken he refused and bought me a glass! Said he wasn't cheap, just preferred a 'lady' to drink from a glass

Blitzkrieger

Refreshingly I heard one girl at the weekend say she doesn't feel comfortable accepting drinks from strangers. Was out with a couple of lads at the weekend and we were chatting to three girls. I was driving but one of the lads bought a round of shots. He didn't really expect anything - he just wanted a shot and didn't want to be the only one drinking it. To be fair, he always gets it into his head to buy shots when he hits his fourth pint, then immediately realises he can't drink shots and begs people not to order more.

I have had a randomer come up to me in the same bar and all but demand I buy her a drink. Might as well have said : "You look like such a sad loser you'll buy me a drink for the slim chance of a few seconds of my wonderful company". I excused myself to go to the bathroom and when I came back it looked like another guy was telling her to **** right off.

If I'm chatting to a girl and I'm heading to the bar, I'll usually offer to get them a drink. I just see it as being polite. It's almost universally refused. The last time it wasn't, she bought me one back. TBH I don't see it as a big deal, and usually the girls that do aren't worth the hassle.

shellyboo

shellyboo wrote: »

I was with him up until the pity drinks for the fatty part. What a dick.

See I didn't read it like that at all.

I read it as he could see that noone had bought her a drink, her friends had decided they didn't care and he thought it would be polite to have her not left out. He bought her a drink without any intention of trying to sleep with her.

Maybe I'm too naive!

CDfm

Deleted User wrote: »

Maybe I'm too naive!

You are - the girl was obviously thirsty after the dancing and what not and didnt have much money as she didnt have much in the order of clothes on.

What a gentleman would have done was order her a nice bottle of Deasy's lemonade and a packet of crisps or failing that a lucozade if she has a cold or the pub does not have Deasy's.

Jemmy

I'd never expect a drink from a guy if we got talking out somewhere, if I was enjoying his company I'd sooner offer him a drink than ask him if he was buying me one!

Will wrote: »

I have in the past bought some women drinks, but not with the intention or expectation to get into their pants. Generally if a woman I don't know asks me to buy her a drink I will say "buy me one first" and a cheeky smile thrown in. she usually gets the message then.

lol I seen a guy do this beside me at a bar before, girl was not impressed and walked off!

princess-lala

Id never ask a guy to buy me a drink - ever! I would however ask him would he like a drink - does this mean I'm trying to get into his pants???

CDfm

princess-lala wrote: »

Id never ask a guy to buy me a drink - ever! I would however ask him would he like a drink - does this mean I'm trying to get into his pants???

It depends on the context but it may well do !!!!!

princess-lala

CDfm wrote: »

It depends on the context but it may well do !!!!!

I'm well able to buy my own drinks and don't need a man to buy them for me nor do I expect a man to buy them but I never thought that me offering to buy him one would make him think I'm trying to get into his pants! I wont be offering again

CDfm

princess-lala wrote: »

I'm well able to buy my own drinks and don't need a man to buy them for me nor do I expect a man to buy them but I never thought that me offering to buy him one would make him think I'm trying to get into his pants! I wont be offering again

I always felt really cheated about the whole buying for the night thing and some girls do expect it.

I have an awkward memory from years back of me and a friend Ray almost(but not quite) getting stiffed for 2 Black Russians and doing a sharp exit. BRs cost a fortune back then.

And I think its really great that you would put a guy at ease that way so he could say Lala -its your round.

Have you ever bought a drink for someone you fancied ???

beks101

I don't think having a blanket 'don't buy any girl a drink' policy is going to do you any favours.

As is the case with the guy in the blog, it just makes you look stingy, bitter and a tad misogynistic.

Play it by ear. Personally I've never felt comfortable accepting a drink from a guy, even one that I'm interested in, without reciprocating, and most of my friends would be the same. But then there are the girls - and granted, a good few of them - who use their looks as a bartering tool when they're out and will willingly accept drinks left right and centre from any old eejit offering, and often even go out with the intention of paying for as little as possible the whole night. I remember back in school one particular girl used to boast about going out 'on a pr1cktease' and spend the night at the bar batting her eyelashes at all and sundry and wouldn't dip her hand into her pocket all night. Classy

I would say have a bit of self respect and don't buy any random hot girl a drink within five minutes of chatting to her. You don't have to pay her for her time; if she's interested she'll stick around and happily chat away to you without a further incentive to stay. I think a girl's reaction to being asked if she would like a drink will be very telling.

And I'm not a lad, but Jesus, I'd never buy a drink for someone who blatantly asked for it, whether it was done in a 'flirty' way or not.

princess-lala

CDfm wrote: »

And I think its really great that you would put a guy at ease that way so he could say Lala -its your round.

Have you ever bought a drink for someone you fancied ???

Of course Ive bought drinks for guys I fancy but I wouldn't expect one back - I don't work like that! I have no problem buying drinks and don't expect them back unless I'm out with a group and were in rounds already!

the_syco

Warfi wrote: »

I still maintain that the girl in his blog was flirting with him, and instead of returning the banter, he stopped it dead in its tracks.

Try rereading the article. He had noted that before she came onto him, she pulled the same ruse with another dude in the pub, and once she got her drink, she f**ked off. She knew, like her, he was a "broke-ass fine arts students", and demanded a drink. She then made it out to be his problem that he wasn't buying her a drink.

=-=

Yanks are generally weird people.

speedboatchase

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

personally i dont have a problem buying a girl drink and i dont assume nuufink. But then again i dont really care im a out im being soical
end of...

You assume nothing and are just being social? So it's completely random who gets a drink off you and has nothing to do with their attractiveness or not? Sure...

douglashyde

You have to look at these things from both sides.

While he is at home blogging on the internet - some meathead that bought her a drink could be at home poking a cute petite chick.

While I agree that it was hilirious that you bought a random fat chick a drink in front of her - why a fat chick?

Nervous Wreck

I have the same policy of not buying girls drinks in bars. BUT I limit it to the first 20 minutes of conversation. If we're having a genuinely nice and interesting conversation, I'll treat her like a mate and get the round in no problem. But trying to hook a girl into conversation by getting them a drink is really pathetic. I learned this 5 years ago when I was out with my best friend and he ended up kissing some girl and when she asked him "So are you gonna be me a drink?" he responded by saying "There's only one person I buy drinks for and that's him *and he pointed at me*." He wasn't being literal, of course, simply showing the girl that just because he'd kissed her didn't make her his friend, and who wants to buy a drink for someone you're not friends with? An hour later, they were still chatting away and he plopped a drink down in front of her without giving it any thought.

CDfm

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

my best friend and he ended up kissing some girl and when she asked him "So are you gonna be me a drink?" he responded by saying "There's only one person I buy drinks for and that's him *and he pointed at me*.

No wonder you have the username Nervous Wreck:eek:

BumbleB

the_syco wrote: »

=-=

Yanks are generally weird people.

I must be weird then.;)

CDfm

BumbleB wrote: »

I must be weird then.;)

whats your experience been????

BumbleB

CDfm wrote: »

whats your experience been????

of buying drinks for women or being weird ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Dr Galen

i buy people drinks because its a nice and gentlemanly thing to do its something I do regardless of the person's sex or my hopes of getting into their pants. I don't have a rule about these things, imho its silly to have rules about something as mundane as buying someone a beer ffs.

I'll agree though that there are a population of girls out there that use thier womanly wiles to score free drinks out of unsuspecting lads. I've seen plenty of them by now, and so stay clear tbh. Its easy enough to suss them out/spot them and they are the types that I'd be wary of buying drinks for. Saying that though, I'm a charming mofo, and they might end up forgetting their cunning plan after 20 minutes chatting to The Monkey

CDfm

BumbleB wrote: »

of buying drinks for women or being weird ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Will settle for the buying drinks thing as its only polite to accept another boardsies being weird if they are comfortable with it.

How does it differ to the US?

nicegirl

I went out on a date before with a lad, and he was offering to pay for my dinner, and his own dinner. I wouldn't let him, and insisted on paying my own share. I went out on a date a while ago, and the lad I was with was a complete gentleman, and also wanted to pay for my drinks for the whole night as well. I wouldn't let him! It might just be me, but just because a man asks a girl out, I don't think they should have to pay for everything. I would not allow a man to pay for everything.

princess-lala

nicegirl wrote: »

I went out on a date before with a lad, and he was offering to pay for my dinner, and his own dinner. I wouldn't let him, and insisted on paying my own share. I went out on a date a while ago, and the lad I was with was a complete gentleman, and also wanted to pay for my drinks for the whole night as well. I wouldn't let him! It might just be me, but just because a man asks a girl out, I don't think they should have to pay for everything. I would not allow a man to pay for everything.

100% agree with you, even when Im in a relationship with a man I still like to pay my way!