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In The Play-Pen: Insect Overlord/An File

  • 09-01-2010 5:52pm
    #1
    Moderators Posts: 8,678 ✭✭✭


    Ladies and Gentlemen, Phlegms and Soccymosters, gather around, for I have a story to tell.

    Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there was an internet forum called "Teen Ireland". There, amid the trolls and the spammers, lived a little boy named Tommy. He frolicked and played in the threads with all the other posters until one day, a terrible cloud descended on the forum. It was destroyed for eternity, and it's patrons were thrown out into the unknown and scary internet.

    For 40 days and 40 nights, Tommy wandered the great plains of the internet, searching for a new home. He tried 4chan, but he couldn't figure out where to register. He tried Bebo, but he became dubious of the many girls with names like "Candy Socks" who kept asking him if he liked parties. He tried youtube, but the mean commenters made him cry.

    One day, one faithful day, Tommy stumbled across a strange and busy site named boards.ie. "This doesn't look too bad" he thought to himself, brushing his long flowing hair, "let's have a look around". Tommy signed up as "An Fhile" and began to explore the huge and beautiful fields or boards.ie. He found many interesting forums and decided to stay.

    For months An Fhile was happy to play and prance in the fields like after hours and soccer, but he and many others his age began to feel as though they were but children, forced to constantly play with, and by the rules of the scary adults. "If only there were a place where us Teens could hang out, like Teen Ireland, but without the barren-ness." he cried to himself.

    Jay P pointed out that An Fhile was actually an incorrect spelling, and An Fhile became An File. This new name imbued him with power and strength, such as to tackle the admins head on. Then one historic day, he rallied his fellow teens and revolted against the grown-ups, battling for freedom and for a forum to call their own. The battle was fierce and many posters were banned, but in the end, An File planted a flag in a brand new field, a forum named Clearasil and Hormones.

    An File was not disheartened that he was not given a ban hammer with which to rule over the kingdom, despite his pivotal role in that great battle, and he went on to become a regular and some would say legendary poster of C&H. One day, a group of ravid posters came upon one of the Mods, "JC2k3" and murdered him in cold blood. The posters in C&H cried for a fortnight before electing a new leader. That leader was An File, who went on to become Insect Overlord, the most wonderful and fluffy-bottomed mod in all the land.

    So yeah, ask him your questions already!

    Warning: this is dramatisation, by reading this you accept that D4RK ONION is not responsible for any lies in this story
    Tagged:


«1345

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,082 ✭✭✭Pygmalion


    Pygmalion: Great poster, or the GREATEST poster?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,882 ✭✭✭phlegms


    If you cut a sandwich in half, do you have 2 sandwiches or 1 sandwich cut in half?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,779 ✭✭✭A Neurotic


    Boxers or briefs?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,231 ✭✭✭Fad


    Biscuit or Cake?


  • Moderators Posts: 8,678 ✭✭✭D4RK ONION


    Fad or D4RK ONION? :p


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,231 ✭✭✭Fad


    D4RK ONION wrote: »
    Fad or D4RK ONION? :p
    :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,768 ✭✭✭almostnever


    Pet peeves? :)


  • Moderators Posts: 8,678 ✭✭✭D4RK ONION


    Fad wrote: »
    :eek:
    ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,321 ✭✭✭Jackobyte


    Is a jaffa cake a biscuit or a cake?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,964 ✭✭✭ToniTuddle


    You know how alot of forums have a "beers" night, have you ever organsied some form of entertainment for the C+H posters?**

    Such as a night out bowling/cinema/something!




    Plus what is your favourite colour of the rainbow?





    **not talking about a boards beers for C+H as that would be illegal for some posters to attened


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,445 ✭✭✭Jako8


    That story needs more Trent tbh. :pac:

    What made you start writing poetry?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,962 ✭✭✭jumpguy


    What happened to Teen Ireland?

    How's life?

    I hear you don't like your course, what don't you like about it?

    Do you enjoy modding C&H?

    Did you prefer C&H with over 50 views or the average 9/10 viewers?

    What did you do yesterday?

    What're you afraid of?

    Was Onion right about you and Aoibheann? :P


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,986 ✭✭✭Craguls


    Ever get writers block? Or do you only write poetry when inspiration strikes?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,779 ✭✭✭A Neurotic


    What IS a bird?

    Black-Bird-Question-Mark.jpg


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,882 ✭✭✭phlegms


    So I hear u liek mudkipz?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,445 ✭✭✭Jako8




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,532 ✭✭✭Ginja Ninja


    If you could change one thing about yourself,What would it be?

    Should I stay or should I go ?

    Worst county in Ireland?

    Favourite Smiley?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,986 ✭✭✭Craguls


    Favourite genre of music?

    Favourite album?

    What's your favourite property of Beruvium?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,426 ✭✭✭Arcade Panda


    Favourite song?

    Do you believe in God?

    If you were a superhero what would be your power?

    Do you believe in ghosts?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,020 ✭✭✭eVeNtInE


    This post has been deleted.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,779 ✭✭✭A Neurotic


    Favourite question so far?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,321 ✭✭✭Jackobyte


    What is "teh sekrit forum"?

    Do you believe in life after love? /sing


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Pygmalion wrote: »
    Pygmalion: Great poster, or the GREATEST poster?

    Joint greatest beard, better than average poster :pac:
    phlegms wrote: »
    If you cut a sandwich in half, do you have 2 sandwiches or 1 sandwich cut in half?

    1 sandwich cut in half :cool:
    A Neurotic wrote: »
    Boxers or briefs?

    The former. Most of the time... ;)


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Fad wrote: »
    Biscuit or Cake?

    Biscuit. No, cake!
    D4RK ONION wrote: »
    Fad or D4RK ONION? :p

    Who?!
    Pet peeves? :)

    Radio advertising makes me feel like killing people with blunt instruments.
    So does most popular music, now that I think about. It's probably a good thing I've stopped listening to the radio...
    I'm sure I'll think of loads more annoying things later.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Jackobyte wrote: »
    Is a jaffa cake a biscuit or a cake?

    It's cake, but with biscuit-like properties.

    Or is it the other way around..?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,544 ✭✭✭hitlersson666


    puppies or kitties


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    ToniTuddle wrote: »
    You know how alot of forums have a "beers" night, have you ever organsied some form of entertainment for the C+H posters?**

    Such as a night out bowling/cinema/something!

    **not talking about a boards beers for C+H as that would be illegal for some posters to attened

    The only thing remotely like that I've put together would be threads like the C&H Photography thread and the Creative Arts thread. With everyone spread out over so many different parts of the country, organising meet-ups has been pretty difficult. We're hoping to go bowling/Q-Zar/something next weekend, but still haven't exactly decided yet :)
    ToniTuddle wrote: »
    Plus what is your favourite colour of the rainbow?

    It's so hard to pick just one! But red was the first thing that came to mind, so I'll go with that.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    I'll answer these two together.
    Jako8 wrote: »
    That story needs more Trent tbh. :pac:

    What made you start writing poetry?

    I wrote a poem when I was 13 or 14, just to get some things off my mind, folded up the piece of paper and hid it in my room. About a year later I got a funny idea to write a poem about an heroic goalkeeper, so I wrote that down too.
    Went into Transition Year when I was 16, and one of the modules we did was a poetry workshop. I dug out "The Goalkeeper", edited it and submitted it for assessment. Got 8/10 for it :rolleyes:
    At the end of TY we were supposed to submit an "end of year project", something we were supposed to spend months working on. I had nothing at all prepared, so I went to my room, found the two poems and typed them out, then spent 3 hours sitting at the computer making up 10 new poems off the top of my head. That's where it started :) (I ended up winning Project of the Year for it too :o )

    Craguls wrote: »
    Ever get writers block? Or do you only write poetry when inspiration strikes?

    I usually only write when the inspiration strikes. I'd love to set aside a set amount of time to write every day, but I don't have the self-discipline to get into it. I have gone through writers block a few times, and I usually end up writing about writers block to help get out of it :P


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    jumpguy wrote: »
    What happened to Teen Ireland? As far as I know, Bebo killed it. There was a dedicated core group of regular posters and about 200 lurkers/occasional posters. When Bebo first appeared it was a hell of a lot better than the farce it is now, and it stole the attention of the casual users. After a while, the Administrator couldn't afford to keep the site running for such little traffic, so it vanished forever.

    How's life? Life's good at the moment :) Enjoying the holidays from college. Feeling guilty for being so lazy though.

    I hear you don't like your course, what don't you like about it? It's not all bad, but in general I don't really feel suited to it. In the short-term, I can't stand some of the lecturers or their course-content. Longer term, I doubt I'm going to be a teacher for my whole life.

    Do you enjoy modding C&H? Yes :)

    Did you prefer C&H with over 50 views or the average 9/10 viewers? I've been blown away with the recent surge in popularity! It's keeping me a bit busier, but it's also brilliantly entertaining. Plus I'm getting to know people better, which is also a positive. Trying to keep up with all the late-night posting is the hardest part :pac:

    What did you do yesterday? Slept until three o'clock, cooked dinner for the family, gave my dad a lift to work, bought the newspaper in Tesco and spent far too many hours on-line. Listened to a lot of music along the way too.

    What're you afraid of? Heights. I can usually deal with most other things.

    Was Onion right about you and Aoibheann? :PI did not have sexual relations with that woman!

    .


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  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    A Neurotic wrote: »
    What IS a bird?

    Black-Bird-Question-Mark.jpg

    Birds (class Aves) are winged, bipedal, endothermic (warm-blooded), vertebrate animals that lay eggs. There are around 10,000 living species, making them the most numerous tetrapod vertebrates. They inhabit ecosystems across the globe, from the Arctic to the Antarctic. Birds range in size from the 5 cm (2 in) Bee Hummingbird to the 3 m (10 ft) Ostrich. [wiki]


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    phlegms wrote: »
    So I hear u liek mudkipz?

    Mudkips? I LUUUUUUUUUUUUVE MUDKIPS.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Jako8 wrote: »

    How does eat food? :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,962 ✭✭✭jumpguy


    Speaking of Bebo, what d'you think of social networking in general?

    Why did you change your username?

    You and the Onion all cool now?

    Who would you say is most similiar to you on boards?

    Most dangerous/extreme thing you've ever done?

    One unforgettable experience you've had?

    Are you interested in current affairs?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,383 ✭✭✭Aoibheann


    Do you ever write anything other than poetry (blogs don't count :pac:)? If not, any reason why not?

    Do you think anyone can learn to write well or do you think you it's something you either have or you don't?

    If, for some reason, you couldn't write any more (I don't know, you have no hands/poetry part of the brain is gone.. *shrugs* :P), would you take up something else to make up for it or would it drive you mad?

    Favourite United player?

    What irritates you most about society? (robbed from someone who asked me the same when I was in the Noclight)


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    If you could change one thing about yourself,What would it be? Either to be more comfortable talking as part of a group of people, or to get depressed less easily

    Should I stay or should I go ? If you go there will be trouble, but if you stay there will be double. Best bet? Hide!

    Worst county in Ireland? They're all good and bad. The person I hate most at the moment lives in Cork, so I'll go with that until they return to County Clare...

    Favourite Smiley? This cool guy :cool:
    .


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,252 ✭✭✭norwegianwood


    when and why will the world end?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,445 ✭✭✭Jako8


    Why do you hate mainstream music?


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Craguls wrote: »
    Favourite genre of music?

    Favourite album?

    What's your favourite property of Beruvium?

    Does "good music" count as a genre..? :D I could never narrow myself down to just one favourite. I'd listen to so much from so many genres that picking one is impossible.

    Favourite album would be another tough call. Most things by BellX1, MUSE, Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan are well worth listening to from start to finish.

    My favourite property of Beruvium would be that it cannot be found on Google :pac:


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Favourite song?

    Do you believe in God?

    If you were a superhero what would be your power?

    Do you believe in ghosts?

    Today, my favourite song is "Little Lion Man" by Mumford & Sons.
    There's a good chance it'll be something completely different by this time tomorrw :)

    Not really.

    Flight would be awesome. Not very original, but still! That said, I've always wondered what it would be like to be Wolverine...

    Used to believe in ghosts when I was younger, don't believe in them any more though.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    eVeNtInE wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    C&H, Creative Writing, Limerick City, Soccer and 3 private forums.

    Favourite one would have to be CW. I miss the old Feedback! :(

    Pretty much fluent in Gaeilge.
    I had fairly decent French for the Leaving Cert, and I can still usually make sense of it when I try to read it, but I'd never be able to hold a conversation in French any more.


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  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    A Neurotic wrote: »
    Favourite question so far?

    This one tbh...
    Jackobyte wrote: »
    What is "teh sekrit forum"?

    Do you believe in life after love? /sing

    There many secret forums, some of them so secret that even I don't know about them! :eek:

    Yes. But only because I believe it's possible to fall in love more than once.
    I also believe that Cher would have done us all a great favour by not releasing that song.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,249 ✭✭✭Stev_o


    What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,445 ✭✭✭Jako8


    What is your name?

    What is your quest?

    What is your favourite colour?

    What is the capital of Assyria?


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    puppies or kitties

    Tough question! They're both pretty cute... I'll say kitties because of all the wonderful funny posters they've lent themselves to :D
    when and why will the world end?

    Google "Maya 2012"...

    >_>

    <_<
    Jako8 wrote: »
    Why do you hate mainstream music?

    Most of it is lazy, formulaic, paint by numbers rubbish that's only written, produced and performed to make money. A lack of genuine creativity/originality has always been present in most "chart" music though, it's not something entirely new. Things get really annoying when people like Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh pretend the crap they're peddling is new and innovative, when it really is anything but.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Stev_o wrote: »
    What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

    African or European? :D


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    jumpguy wrote: »
    Speaking of Bebo, what d'you think of social networking in general?

    Why did you change your username?

    You and the Onion all cool now?

    Who would you say is most similiar to you on boards?

    Most dangerous/extreme thing you've ever done?

    One unforgettable experience you've had?

    Are you interested in current affairs?

    Social networking: brilliant in theory, brutal in practice. All the quizzes, applications and silly things keep getting in the way.

    I'd been thinking of changing it for a while, and when I found out I could customise my avatar the idea of taking on a funny name was too good to miss :D

    Yes, I think so. He did give me the most awesome introduction ever, to be fair.

    Most similar to me? I have no idea. I've only recently started to get to know other people a bit better. If you know anyone else who's as closely interested in sports, music, writing, reading, performing, debating and laughing at stupid stuff as I am, there's your answer.

    One of my best friends has a girlfriend who hangs around with us a lot. A few weeks ago she got the whole gang to give out to me for not doing enough extreme/dangerous stuff. Feel free to suggest some good/wild ideas for me!

    Just one? Okay... I got to represent Mary I at a creative weekend for young teachers in training back in December 2008. It switches between Northern Ireland and the Republic every year, and that year it was held in Carran in the Burren. We went on a hike up to an ancient ring-fort that was built along the edge of an in-land cliff. The weather was absolutely brutal, rain and wind and sleet, but when we got to the top of the hill there was a perfect rainbow arching right out of the middle of the valley beyond the cliff's edge.
    Beautiful isn't a strong enough word to describe it.

    I'd be fairly interested in current affairs, but because of Boards I usually get bored of the news before it even makes it onto the Six One on RTÉ...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,962 ✭✭✭jumpguy


    One of my best friends has a girlfriend who hangs around with us a lot. A few weeks ago she got the whole gang to give out to me for not doing enough extreme/dangerous stuff. Feel free to suggest some good/wild ideas for me!
    Lots of water sports that involve being attached to a boat are pretty exciting and a good start. Banana boats is a popular one, wakeboarding, water-skiing.

    Paintball, while not extreme and only very mildly dangerous, is meant to be alot of fun and might shut them up. :P

    Off-roading (but you need a landrover) or mountain biking is pretty cool, and don't involve heights, and is relatively cheap and you might even make a hobby out of it (all you need is a mountain bike.)

    FFS...this weather won't be here again for years, convince your friends to go on the quiet country roads, or the countryside, or wherever and go sledding! I know you're a *tad* older than me, but tbh, I don't think I'd give a ****e if I was 20-something!

    Mountain climbing is great, try climbing Carauntoohill some day this summer (but get a guide or somebody experienced to go with you).

    There's ordinary skiing too, but you need snowy slopes!

    Skydiving is something I wanted to do for my 16th, but the parents won't let me (so it's on the 18th now...if I have enough money!) BTW, I have a fear of heights too, but love the adrenaline!

    Bungee jumping is the cheaper option and some argue for me I'd imagine it's even more nerve-wracking. Mainly because you have no parachute, only a bungee rope, and you gotta jump...alone!

    Para-gliding is another one...except it combines both being attached to a boat and parachutes! It's very enjoyable actually, and looks alot scarier than it actually is in reality.


    I'll update the list as I think of more (like I've been doing with the questions :P)...


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Aoibheann wrote: »
    Do you ever write anything other than poetry (blogs don't count :pac:)? If not, any reason why not?

    Do you think anyone can learn to write well or do you think you it's something you either have or you don't?

    If, for some reason, you couldn't write any more (I don't know, you have no hands/poetry part of the brain is gone.. *shrugs* :P), would you take up something else to make up for it or would it drive you mad?

    Favourite United player?

    What irritates you most about society? (robbed from someone who asked me the same when I was in the Noclight)

    I used to write short-stories for English in secondary school, and it's something I've always wanted to try again, but I don't set enough time to write anything longer than a poem. Lack of determination would be my biggest block at the moment.

    I think everyone can do something creative to express themselves. There are books and guides and tutorials for all sorts of things, from gardening to cooking to painting, so there's no reason why anyone should feel they can't at least attempt to write. I think anyone can learn the mechanics, but the challenge is finding words that other people will want to read.

    If I had no hands, I'd dictate to someone else or record my voice. If I "lost it" altogether, I'd keep looking until I find something else that would have the same effect. I can't imagine what that would involve though...

    Right now, has to be Rooney :) Favourite Manchester United player of all time is Peter Schmeichel.

    What irritates me most..? This one is liable to change, but at the moment I'd say shock-and-awe type media. I find things like TV3, Sky News and the Daily Mail unbearable. Sensationalist, pessimistic hype-machines basically, imo.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,312 ✭✭✭Limerick Dude


    I've browsed through the posts fairly quickly so I hope this hasn't been posted already.

    Where do you honestly see yourself in 10 years time?

    Where do you want to be in 10 years time?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,553 ✭✭✭soccymonster


    I'm gonna ask these questions to every question answer-er!

    John or Edward?

    Me or Deise?

    anddd..

    What would you order at a chinese?


    :)


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