Good baby books

Tim Robbins

Hi All,
I am looking for good books about the development and caring of young babies. Any suggestions?

Note: the reason why I put this thread in this forum is because there are a serious amount of pseudo science books out there for this subject and I think most people who visit this forum regularly take umbrage at pseudo science so I thought I might get a decent recommendation from some of the regulars here.

Here's hoping...

Thanks.

Dades

Never really read any baby stuff other than the "What to Expect..." series.

Most of the books I read now have ducks and elephants and xylophones in them.

Coriolanus

The American Academy of Pediatrics publish pretty reputable books on caring/raising children.

Joey the lips

There is a lot of good baby books and I read a very good one last year. I would suggest that you dont be so sceptical of people and post in the parenting forum.


No book i have read ever related to science/religion more what to expect in week one,two,three or how to conceive naturally(if needs)

pH

:eek: What? This isn't a recipe thread?

Tim Robbins

A few people recommeded "The Baby Whisperer" Any good?

robindch

Tim Robbins wrote: »

A few people recommeded "The Baby Whisperer" Any good?

From the pretentious name, I wouldn't have thought so (though I'm willing to be proved wrong). The only two books I read are the Haynes Baby Manual (a prezzie, can't remember much about it), and more recently, The War for Children's Minds (good).

Can't help you much with the pre-birth side since herself was doing most of that fine without me and, of the little I read outside the ante-natal classes, almost everything I saw grated, since it referred to some frightfully impersonal third-party "baby", as in "From the second trimester, baby should start farting" or whatever. Yuk. Why can't they say "your baby" or "your future child"? Weird.

Anyhow, two months back, my own ray of noisy sunshine reached three without serious incident. The only advice I can pass on is (a) point out and explain absolutely everything that's going on around her (b) if she's squawking, then there's always a reason for it and it's your job to find out what it is (c) let her experience as much as possible in a safe environment that you control, especially things that are usually avoided (eg, playing with semi-dangerous things) (d) any time there are goodies around, give them to her and have her divide them amongst onlookers (e) if the temperature gets higher than 40/41 degrees, or she bumps her head and vomits, then drop everything and hightail it to a hospital fast.

Oh yes, and (f) get a reliable tympanic infra-red thermometer and a bottle of Calpol (g) take lots of photos and videos and (h) enjoy it

.

Permabear

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Dave!

donegalfella wrote: »

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I'd be inclined to agree with all that

donegalfella wrote: »

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It's kinda sad that I wanna get this book even though I don't have any kids, and won't be having any for many years......... Sounds awesome though

dvpower

donegalfella wrote: »

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And if contents of the book don't help, at least you can throw it at the little feckers.

Tim Robbins

robindch wrote: »

Can't help you much with the pre-birth side since herself was doing most of that fine without me and, of the little I read outside the ante-natal classes...
.

He's 5 weeks tomorrow. So far, there's been a few problems some more worrying than others. The problems we've had would have been more manageable if I was better informed. I'd just like to be well informed but avoid all the nonsense and psuedo science if that's possible. I was in Easons yesterdayand there were a tonne of books but it's difficult to get the time to ascertain what's worth reading and what isn't.

Thanks for the tips, anymore welcomed.

Dave!

BTW Congrats Tim !

Tim Robbins

robindch wrote: »

Oh yes, and (f) get a reliable tympanic infra-red thermometer and a bottle of Calpol (g) take lots of photos and videos and (h) enjoy it
.

Cheers.
Where did you get the infra red thermometer? And which one?
There's quite a few on the market? And are they really that much better than a normal thermo?

dvpower

Tim Robbins wrote: »

Cheers.
Where did you get the infra red thermometer?
There's quite a few on the market? And are they really that much better than a normal thermo?

You can get them in Boots, Argos and the like.
They're an essential piece of kit - my wife pokes our Braun one into one of the kid's ears about once every 10 minutes.

robindch

Tim Robbins wrote: »

Where did you get the infra red thermometer?
There's quite a few on the market? And are they really that much better than a normal thermo?

I got mine in the chemist around the corner -- I'm sure most chemists sell them. They're much handier coz you just have to poke it into your kid's ear for just a few seconds, instead of inserting a traditional thermometer up your baby's bum.

Wrt pregnancy, here's advice from one book:

stevejazzx

Tim Robbins wrote: »

He's 5 weeks tomorrow. So far, there's been a few problems some more worrying than others. The problems we've had would have been more manageable if I was better informed. I'd just like to be well informed but avoid all the nonsense and psuedo science if that's possible. I was in Easons yesterdayand there were a tonne of books but it's difficult to get the time to ascertain what's worth reading and what isn't.

Thanks for the tips, anymore welcomed.

Perhaps you're approaching it too scientifically?
You haven't listed anything specific but I'm guessing you're looking to improve the medical side of your understanding more? If so, nothing short of becoming a Paediatrician is really going to help. Children have a way of circumventing the best laid plans and even the most informed minds. I mean certainly read to your hearts content but it does seem like taking a step backwards and breathing would also help you right now.

It is cool though that you've identifed the need to be informed on these issues, I wish more fathers approached it like that!

LostinKildare

I read -- and rejected -- a lot of books when I was pregnant and when my son was a baby. Some of the stuff out there is really undermining, wacky, or just flatout appalling. My well-intentioned right-wing fundamentalist sister sent me James Dobson's scary Dare to Discipline -- I'm not in favour of banning books, but if I were, that would be top of my list for destruction. A truly horrifying read, especially for a liberal atheist!

I highly recommend the revised Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care. A common-sense, reassuring ("you know more than you think you do"), and affectionate approach to childrearing that respects the individuality of the child. Spock's great humanity shines through in this practical book, which I've referred to many many times since my kid's birth.

Tim Robbins

LostinKildare wrote: »

I highly recommend the revised Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care. A common-sense, reassuring ("you know more than you think you do"), and affectionate approach to childrearing that respects the individuality of the child.

I just read the product description for that on amazon:

Product Description wrote:

The standard guide to baby and child care, from physical to moral development, includes new material on international adoption, autism, and coping with terrorism.

Is it a bit American?

DublinWriter

The 'What to Expect...' range FTW.

Ickle Magoo

Congratulations!

When we had our son we got a couple of Steve Biddulph books Raising Boys and The Secret of Happy Children they are both very well read now - funny and educational without the finger-wagging and moral lecturing.

Toddler Taming by Dr Graeme Green is another one that was in and out the bookshelves for a while for obvious reasons! Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish are all well represented in our bookcase too.

My favourite baby books when the kids were brand new were Your Baby Week by Week: The Ultimate Guide to Caring for Your New Baby by Dr Caroline Fertleman & What to Expect the First Year. hth

LostinKildare

Tim Robbins wrote: »

Is it a bit American?

Well, Spock was American, but I don't think the book's particularly slanted. (FWIW my Irish mother-in-law swore by Spock when raising my husband and his siblings here in Ireland in the '60s)

It's updated every couple of years with a bit of new material that deals with changes in society. The edition I have (7th I think) was published pre-9/11

(BTW I was nearly 8 months pregnant and working in midtown Manhattan on that day -- I'll never forget walking home in shock, through the city and over the Brooklyn Bridge, with baby kicking and squirming the whole way)

Anyway, in all the editions, Spock gives advice on how to deal with typical fears that young children have -- the dark, dogs, water, etc. -- and I believe that reference is to how best to handle a fear of terrorist attacks. Sad but true -- some little kids are now afraid of terrorists.

Weird that Amazon put it in the summary like that, but I guess that was one of the few updates in that edition. Don't let it put you off though.

Ickle Magoo

Tim Robbins wrote: »

A few people recommeded "The Baby Whisperer" Any good?

I found it very schedule orientated and her tone rather patronising. I guess it depends on your child & natural parenting style. We were/are more kind of "go with the flow" sorts.

Most parenting books seem to be divided into old school scheduling, psychology/behaviour & AP (attachment parenting). Work out which style suits your family best and there will be a most popular book for that - or do what we do & get one of each & gradually chuck out the ones that stop making sense as you get more confident!

Nevyn

There is a father's thread in the pregnacy subsection of the parenting forum.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055446139

all the techy/engineering types I know receamend the what to expect book
or you can try

Glad you hear you little one arrived safe and well Tim Robbins and you are still welcome to post in the parenting forum but you just can't bebate in there the same way you can in here and in humanities.

lynski

agree on the what to expect - have a 3 yr old and 1 yr old and swear by the first year and toddler years ones. got me through worries, scares, laughs everything. essential in my mind
like the baby whisperer and found it useful - schedules rule!
HATED the contented baby - too regimented and treats all babies as the same
read a few - go to your library and borrow until you find one you like then buy that is what i did when preggers with the night terror no 1
congrats and enjoy - having a baby is one of the decisions in your life you are guaranteed never to regret.

Asiaprod

Dr Spock, definitely Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care book. It is such a practical down to earth guide. I cannot tell you the number of times I had to run frantically seeking out where we hid the book to sort out problem. The other thing is to buy yourself a good long-reach surgical forceps and some kind of pen torch and keep them in one place where they are instantly accessible. If a kid can get a hold of it, it ends up in their mouth. You get the pleasant job of retrieving it. You would be horrified at what I have had to retrieve from our daughter's mouth when she was growing up.

We give this book as a wedding present to any of our friends taking the plunge.

Teutorix

Disregard my advice as you see fit as i am a clueless 17 yearold.

Personally I wouldn't put alot of weight on any book or guide to parenting as the personal ideas and feelings of the author would probably shine through, and you could pick up bad habits. Parenting is something humans as a species have been doing for millennia without too much hassle, so don't over think things and let your instincts guide you. If we needed books on parenting we probably would be here as a species.

Just my two cents

Tim Robbins

Teutorix wrote: »

Parenting is something humans as a species have been doing for millennia without too much hassle, so don't over think things and let your instincts guide you. If we needed books on parenting we probably would be here as a species.

If we needed central heating and university qualified doctors we probably wouldn't be here as a species either!

People used to have much more babies (hence the strong sexual tendencies at your age!) but infant mortality was much higher. Things are different now.

Going to the GP is expensive, you need to know simple things like if sporadic breathing /panting from a baby normal or something you go to your GP about or you'll waste a lot of time and money.

Some folk go way overboard on the noveau parenting techniques and in this respect your point is very valid. There's a tonne of pseudo science out there for this subject - perhaps because parents worry so much they'll fall for it.

Hence in this forum as it's probably the only forum on boards where there is a collective disregard for nonsense and psuedo science.

Cheers.

Myksyk

Congrats Tim. As the father of a twenty month old, my immediate response to your query is

"... you think you're going to have time to read a book?????"

My experience in relation to reading this last year and a half has been .... 'too tired, too baby-brained, too tired and finally ... too tired ... in that order'.

Things are looking up though as recently I've been getting through the ten pages of 'Chocolate Mousse for Greedy Goose' and can understand and retain quite a bit of it!

DublinWriter

Teutorix wrote: »

Parenting is something humans as a species have been doing for millennia without too much hassle

Erm...Dude have you any clue what the infant mortality rate was like during the 19th Century?

Grim...as in reaper.

Regarding the other poster's advocacy of Dr. Spock, didn't he recant much of his earlier work? I was raised as a Dr.Spock baby during the early 70's (still have my late Mum's paperback smelling of patule oil, various teeth marks, multiple fractures to the spine and the front cover missing/ripped off) and it didn't do me any harm *twitch twitch*

pH

DublinWriter wrote: »

Regarding the other poster's advocacy of Dr. Spock, didn't he recant much of his earlier work? I was raised as a Dr.Spock baby during the early 70's (still have my late Mum's paperback smelling of patule oil, various teeth marks, multiple fractures to the spine and the front cover missing/ripped off) and it didn't do me any harm *twitch twitch*

It's scary to think that his simple advice to put a baby to sleep on its front is now thought to have caused at least 50,000 avoidable SIDS in the late '70s and '80s.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article519978.ece

robindch

Myksyk wrote: »

I've been getting through the ten pages of 'Chocolate Mousse for Greedy Goose' and can understand and retain quite a bit of it!

I've three words for you:

Shaun the Sheep

The only thing that'll make me laugh and my 3yo shiver with excitement. Clips available here

Ickle Magoo

robindch wrote: »

I've three words for you:

Shaun the Sheep

The only thing that'll make me laugh and my 3yo shiver with excitement. Clips available here

Have you seen Wonder Pets? My two have gone bananas for it.

Dades

That is all.

robindch

Dades wrote:

That is all.

Er, who dat? It's certainly neither Dora nor one of those tellytubby oiks (banned from chez robindch).

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Have you seen Wonder Pets?

Thank the stars, no!

Dades

robindch wrote: »

Er, who dat? It's certainly neither Dora nor one of those tellytubby oiks (banned from chez robindch).Thank the stars, no!

In the Night Garden. Great stuff altogether!

That and Spongebob Squarepants - otherwise known as "Boh!" by my 16 month old! Fun for younglings and adult alike.

I fear we're dragging down TR's seriously intentioned thread.

Turtwig

Seriously guys, I think this has to be the first time I've got a bright beaming smile from reading something on boards.:)*
(Maybe even the internet.)


* A smiley doesn't do this occasion justice.

Joey the lips

I have to say I have been linked to this thread since the start and with respect to the op i thought it the biggest load of bull to open such thread in this forum.

However I have learned that no journey is boring and this one has not been. The main thing I am learning is despite all the science sometimes common sense prevails ie if it looks wrong it most likely is.(Dr spock and his lying you on the belly) But more importantly sometimes even with all the science the results just dont ad up. or put another way how could they have allowed there theory develop so far before discovering the flaw.

We then come to a conclusion. Do you risk falling in line and adapting the 100,000's standard books out there which lets face it the op does not want or we would be in the parenting forum or do we risk the wild card that is doctor spock and possibly be killing our children with what is effectivly god or unproven science

I think I will take the ningky knonk any day.:D

Tim Robbins

pH wrote: »

It's scary to think that his simple advice to put a baby to sleep on its front is now thought to have caused at least 50,000 avoidable SIDS in the late '70s and '80s.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article519978.ece

Good post pH.

DublinWriter

pH wrote: »

It's scary to think that his simple advice to put a baby to sleep on its front is now thought to have caused at least 50,000 avoidable SIDS in the late '70s and '80s.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article519978.ece

No f*cking way! I never knew he advocated that!?!

What's the current thinking on the way to lay a baby down to sleep? The missus said there's a danger of the baby choking on it's own sick if left on it's back.

Myksyk

DublinWriter wrote: »

No f*cking way! I never knew he advocated that!?!

What's the current thinking on the way to lay a baby down to sleep? The missus said there's a danger of the baby choking on it's own sick if left on it's back.

That was the thinking that inspired advice to have babies on their tummies leading to far more difficulties. Current advice is simple and unequivocal ... always place babies on their backs.

Dades

... which is a bummer - as it's easier to get them to settle on their tums.

Accepted practice is a bit like morals - it changes from decade to decade. In 20 years we could be getting babies to sleep in little tiny harnesses. :pac:

Ickle Magoo

Our wee man had chronic reflux so puking and choking was a very real danger. When he wasn't in with us, he slept on his back with a rolled up towel propping up the head end of his cot mattress to allow him to spit it out better.

As soon as he could roll over, he slept on his tummy - I used to roll him back 10 times a night terrified something would happen, wee monkey. :pac:

ally2

Dr Spocks books definitely and Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys was good too. It has interesting facts on the cognitive development of boys compared to girls and is quite straightforward.

I hated the Baby Whisperer and heard the Contented Baby was worse. Both books infantilise the parents in my opinion and exploit a vulnerable (sleep deprived, shock, recognition of mortality) group with their whimsical cross nanny approach to child-rearing. Some of my friends swore by it and I remember using some of the techniques myself - there is a chapter in Baby Whisperer about how to play with babies and I waved black and white pictures at my infant son for hours.
Looking back I wasted precious time on that rubbish. Now I just wish I had listened to dr Spock and got on with it.

Nevyn

Tim Robbins wrote: »

Some folk go way overboard on the noveau parenting techniques and in this respect your point is very valid. There's a tonne of pseudo science out there for this subject - perhaps because parents worry so much they'll fall for it.

There are different types and styles of parenting, it depends on the parents views and what works best for baby, scientific method is one way but science doesn't know everything.

Tim Robbins wrote: »

Hence in this forum as it's probably the only forum on boards where there is a collective disregard for nonsense and psuedo science.

There is no one way of doing things and like anythings else are are a crap load of crap books out there and the most famous ones are flawed or written by people who don't even had kids. You will get discussion and range of opinion in the parenting forum but just because people are not into raising their kids they way you are choosing to that does not make them or the parenting forum unworthy.

I do hope things work out for you wishing to rear your child the way you want, but at times that is not always possible and when your dealing with a sick kid on 3 hours sleep for the 5th night in a row, the books and collective widsom be damned you do what ever works.

Tim Robbins

Thaedydal wrote: »

There are different types and styles of parenting, ...
...
...
the books and collective widsom be damned you do what ever works.

Thaedydal, I think you misunderstand me. Not trying to raise anyone on the scientific method and only the scientific method per se, I just find it very cringy when outrageous claims are made as is the case in many of those parenting books.

It's really pragmatism I am looking for and in that regard, I respect a lot of the posters in this forum as they tend to read a very broad range, think about things rationally and have also had kids. Hence they would be in a position to impart some valuable wisdom on the subject.

Ickle Magoo

Sleep deprivation does make you do the strangest things. I remember driving around in the wee small hours just because it kept the wee man asleep and that's all that mattered. The minute I stopped, he woke and started screaming so round & round I went...for hours.

Complete madness but at the time it seemed the most rational thing to do to my desperate and addled brain.

robindch

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I remember driving around in the wee small hours just because it kept the wee man asleep and that's all that mattered.

Only happened to me once -- thankfully -- when I was trying to get my own snowflake to sleep. I almost got to Wicklow before she nodded off. Needless to say, when I got back home to darkest D4, she woke up between the car and bed, but was too thoroughly knackered to put much effort into it.

My sincere sympathies!

Tim Robbins

It's frigging weird how travelling in a car makes some kids go asleep. I wonder is it the car seat? have you tried putting them in the car seat in the gaf?

Ickle Magoo

I think it's the motion lulling, rather than the seat. For baby no. 2 we got one of those vibrating rocker thingamajigs and it worked brilliantly, it's been loaned to several sleep addled parents at this stage and we all swear by it! :pac:

Dave!

My niece hates her car seat As soon as she goes in, she puts on a big angry/sad face, then you have a window of about 2 minutes before she starts screaming her head off ! I don't think my brother stops for traffic lights once she's in the car !

Tim Robbins

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I think it's the motion lulling, rather than the seat. For baby no. 2 we got one of those vibrating rocker thingamajigs and it worked brilliantly, it's been loaned to several sleep addled parents at this stage and we all swear by it! :pac:

Care to ad a link?