Gareth Thomas Comes Out. *Mod Note. Post No.19*

gavkm27

Just saw this on bbc sport,Ex British and Irish Lion Gareth Thomas comes out as a Gay man,Fair play to him,this is great news for Rugby,aparently it had been a rumor,but it is official now

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/rugby_union/welsh/8421956.stm

Full article here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1237035/British-Lions-rugby-legend-Gareth-Thomas-Its-ended-marriage-nearly-driven-suicide-Now-time-tell-world-truth--Im-gay.html

jayteecork

Amazing.
My gaydar wouldn't have picked up him at all.

Plus BBC mentioned Donal Og Cusack too.
BBC have come a long way since they completely removed the republic of Ireland from the planet earth when they did their weather forecast!


Wonder now had his celebration where he tapped his head have some hidden meaning ?

2040

jayteecork wrote: »

BBC have come a long way since they completely removed the republic of Ireland from the planet earth when they did their weather forecast!

This has always annoyed me.

irishbucsfan

Never heard the rumours that he was gay, but theres always rumours going around about various soccer players and even a couple of rugby players and normally I just ignore them as baseless.

Wonder if this will lead to more rugby players coming out...?

JupiterKid

dustyrip wrote: »

Shocking.

I expected more people to come out after that Cork flame earlier in the year though, as that was reported worldwide.

I wonder if he picked up any guys in Thailand/Vietnam like Donal Og.

I'd say he is the giver. He dosen't look like a receiver.

Well, I wonder if we could have less of your idiotic, immature and bigoted comments.:rolleyes:

This is big news, Thomas is a very important player in rubgy - Captained Wales and the Lions and over 100 caps. Fair play to him!!

Trojan

You would never, ever have guessed.

But he admitted it was on Wales duty at an earlier time when he first broke the news to former Wales caretaker coach Scott Johnson over his sexuality and the break-up of his marriage to his wife Jemma.

"My life seemed to be falling apart," he added. "Jemma and I were splitting up, and I was scared of the future and being single again as a gay man.

Rush of relief

"Somehow, the coach had guessed," said Thomas. "He took me out of the team room to the medical room, locked the door and I told him everything.

"After keeping it secret for so long, I felt a huge rush of relief.

"Scott said: 'Right, I've got to speak now to three or four players in the Welsh team because you need the boys to surround you and support you. You can't cope with this on your own,' and he was right.

"He told two of my team-mates, Stephen Jones and Martyn Williams, and as I sat in the bar waiting for them, I was absolutely terrified, wondering what they were going to say.

"But they came in, patted me on the back and said: 'We don't care. Why didn't you tell us before?'

"Two of my best mates in rugby didn't even blink an eyelid."

But Thomas said one of his lowest points was cheating on Jemma, which drove him to the edge.

"Sometimes I felt so alone and depressed," he added.

"I used to go to the cliffs overlooking the beach near our cottage in St Brides Major and just think about jumping off and ending it all."

That is very, very sad - that world rugby could have lost such an incredible player and man.

To put it in perspective - what if we lost BOD/POC/Woody or another of our talismanic players to suicide, and found out afterwards that this was the cause. It would be shocking and tragic.

I hope that other gay players at his any level are able to talk to some of their closest friends or teammates about this, and reduce the risk of something terrible like that happening for such a poor reason.

Gareth Thomas, a hard bastard and a ****in legend, even if he is Welsh.

gavkm27

dustyrip wrote: »

Shocking.

I expected more people to come out after that Cork flame earlier in the year though, as that was reported worldwide.

I wonder if he picked up any guys in Thailand/Vietnam like Donal Og.

I'd say he is the giver. He dosen't look like a receiver.

I really hope the thread does'nt go this way

irishbucsfan wrote: »

Never heard the rumours that he was gay, but theres always rumours going around about various soccer players and even a couple of rugby players and normally I just ignore them as baseless.

Wonder if this will lead to more rugby players coming out...?

I read it on Planet-Rugby forum that it had been going around and people on there did'nt seemed surprised

themont85

So Nigel Owens isn't the only gay in the village then?

Trojan

themont85 wrote: »

So Nigel Owens isn't the only gay in the village then?

It's funny and not really too abusive, but let's keep the jokes off this thread for the moment.

themont85

irishbucsfan wrote: »

Never heard the rumours that he was gay, but theres always rumours going around about various soccer players and even a couple of rugby players and normally I just ignore them as baseless.

Wonder if this will lead to more rugby players coming out...?

Sportsmen in general in fairness. I remember there were rumours of a gay premier league footballer a couple of years ago and Dream Team of all shows tackled the taboo in the dressing room a few years back.

castie

themont85 wrote: »

So Nigel Owens isn't the only gay in the village then?

That right there is a classic. Well played!

Great to see understanding at the highest of levels.

mink_man

i bet he isnt releasing a book!

chupacabra

Good to see him coming out. His and Nigel Owens stories would worry you about people's state of minds in that situation, not just well known sports personalities. Players with his reputation coming out like this can give hope to young people going through hell with their sexuality and i hope now in this day and age the level of acceptance is such that it becomes a natural and easy thing to do. I lost a friend of mine a few years ago because of this very situation and it's so frustrating to know that it could have been resolved simply by talking about it but c'est la vie. Fair play Gareth.

Trojan

dustyrip: I temporarily deleted your post pending a review from a Rugby moderator. Please do not discuss this further in this thread or you *will* be banned without further notice - if you wish to discuss it, please open a HelpDesk thread, but please note that no action has been taken against you as yet.

anonymous_joe

Interesting.

As Dónal Óg what's his face was for Gah, this is someone truly unavoidable. Alfie's one of the best backs of the last generation.

Hopefully people'll avoid making retarded jokes, etc, because it's important that sexuality isn't important. I hope he's happy, anyway, gay straight or whatever.

flyingoutside

Fair play to him, a great player no matter what what does it matter his preferance?

Podge_irl

I hope this is treated much the same way as Nigel Owens coming out was - no one cares. I watch him for his rugby, much as I appreciate Owens for his fine refereeing. What they do behind closed doors is their own business. I think not making a big deal out of it is the correct way to do it - their rugby is why we know them and lets leave it at that.

I nonetheless appreciate how hard it must have been for him to do this and he deserves kudos. Continuing on as if nothing has changed - as nothing has - is sufficient tribute to the man

Boston

Very moving.

toomevara

Folks, this warning ain't for the vast majority of you with a functioning frontal lobe who've posted/will post on this thread. However there's always one or two knuckledraggers who can't contain themselves. As I never tire of saying: Homophobic, immature and generally idiotic remarks will not be tolerated. Dustyrip; banned one week

Reesy

jayteecork wrote: »

Wonder now had his celebration where he tapped his head have some hidden meaning ?

Er, no. Gareth 'Alfie' Thomas's 'tapping the head' celebration
has its origin at Cardiff City FC. It's known as 'the Ayatollah' . It's been adopted by some other welsh sportspeople - I think they are all Cardiff City supporters.

And fair play to Gareth for his bravery.

Reesy

walshb

gavkm27 wrote: »

Just saw this on bbc sport,Ex British and Irish Lion Gareth Thomas comes out as a Gay man,Fair play to him,this is great news for Rugby,aparently it had been a rumor,but it is official now

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/rugby_union/welsh/8421956.stm

Full article here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1237035/British-Lions-rugby-legend-Gareth-Thomas-Its-ended-marriage-nearly-driven-suicide-Now-time-tell-world-truth--Im-gay.html

I read that DailyMail article last night; fascinating read. I thought it was a very sad article, for both Gareth and his wife. Riveting stuff. He was a great player, and seems like a real decent fellow.

This gay thing, whilst I couldn't care less, it is still quite a tough and harrowing time for many people. Gareth's story speaks volumes about the life that gay men lead, and how it can affect them so negatively.

sneem-man

Fair play to him...:)

Noffles

The wife told me about this, this morning as she read the Welsh headlines... it does not change my opinion of him in any way, a true legend for Wales and a class act in general... he'll take some flack but sure with that off his shoulders he may just be "off the leash" and be a better player, even if it is his twilight..

ronaneire

Fair play to him.

madds

Met Gareth and Gemma in Toulouse when I was there in '05. She managed Trevor Brennan's bar. Both lovely people and I wish them both all the best. More power to Gareth for going public. I reckon we're going to see more sporting figures coming out in the next 12 months.

Aidric

madds wrote: »

Met Gareth and Gemma in Toulouse when I was there in '05. She managed Trevor Brennan's bar. Both lovely people and I wish them both all the best. More power to Gareth for going public. I reckon we're going to see more sporting figures coming out in the next 12 months.

Nice story. I don't know if it will lead to a deluge of stars coming out but it's certainly helping to break down the unacceptable stigma that exists.

dreamer_ire

Daily Mail article is very moving. Fair play to him for coming out. I hope it achieves two things, the first being to help anyone who is struggling with their sexuality. Secondly I hope it gives an an insight to all the straight people who read it about how much fear can be felt by gay people about the rejection they may face is they come out.

Digifriendly

dreamer_ire wrote: »

Daily Mail article is very moving. Fair play to him for coming out. I hope it achieves two things, the first being to help anyone who is struggling with their sexuality. Secondly I hope it gives an an insight to all the straight people who read it about how much fear can be felt by gay people about the rejection they may face is they come out.

Very well put. We should also think of his wife and the breakup of their marriage. Always very sad when a marriage ends.

gcgirl

dreamer_ire wrote: »

Daily Mail article is very moving. Fair play to him for coming out. I hope it achieves two things, the first being to help anyone who is struggling with their sexuality. Secondly I hope it gives an an insight to all the straight people who read it about how much fear can be felt by gay people about the rejection they may face is they come out.

Plus a million there ! Daily Mail was pretty emotional Reading for me and fair play to him for having the balls and hopefully it can help younger people getting to grips with their sexuality !

Cork Boy

I really can't see it making a blind bit of difference, when Nigel Owens came out the reaction was "so what?" which is the healthiest reaction really.

Any player stupid enough to try to taunt him about it would want to be very brave

As to those who wonder if we'll see a deluge of sports stars coming out, you'll prob get a few more from rugby and other sports, can't see it in soccer though for many reasons, not least including a very different audience and very different sort of media on the story.

All in all, fair play to Owens, Cusack and Thomas.

And on a final sidenote, it was poor out of him to do that to his wife though (i already see how this could be misconstrued so let me clarify - its not nice ask someone to commit to you forever when you don't want to commit to them forever).

wixfjord

Fair play to him, a player ive always admired. Hopefully this will be seen as it should be, the act of a brave man. Actually I think it would be easier to be an openly gay man in rugby than in soccer for example.

By the way (and this is a genuine question! ) would he have a seperate dressing room to get changed in I wonder?

ARGINITE

Fair play to him, must have taken a lot of courage to come out.

Macsimus

wixfjord wrote: »

By the way (and this is a genuine question! ) would he have a seperate dressing room to get changed in I wonder?[/quote]

Call it a genuine question if you like, but you know its not - you've let yourself down with that one imo

It takes great character to do what himself, Owens & Cusack have done - Im sure most posters here (myself included) have made homophobic jokes with our mates in the past, even if our attitude towards it is quite liberal- its a product of our upbringing- but reading about how himself and Owens would of considered suicide really makes you think - i for one will be with the PC brigade on this one from now on.

dreamer_ire

wixfjord wrote: »

By the way (and this is a genuine question! ) would he have a seperate dressing room to get changed in I wonder?

I appreciate that you are asking this in earnest but why would he? He's at work... I'm pretty sure that before and after every game he's not thinking about sex. Before the match he is focussing on the game the same way everyone else is. Afterwards, depending on the result, his mind again will be elsewhere and he is unlikely to be thinking "ohhhh look at that flanker..... fancy a bit of that" .

Being gay doesn't mean you fancy everyone of the same gender in same way that being straight doesn't mean you fancy everyone of the opposite sex. All it means is that you find some members of the same sex attractive etc.

It's a good question tho wixfjord and one you obviously wanted to ask... you probably aren't the only one who was thinking it either. By asking questions like that and by being open about it is I believe one of the best ways to further understanding from people who are different from you... be it sexual orientation, gender, race etc.

gcgirl

It will make a difference there are plenty of kids struggling with their sexual identity and considering the amount of young people sometimes considering suicide as a way out, guys more so than girls the more people that come out kind of the better and it takes that stigma away!
Its hard living a lie but he is finally living the life he wants now, And as he said himself and soon to be ex wife are good friends now and getting on with their lives, its easier said than done trying to lead a heterosexual life when your not a heterosexual!

Cork Boy wrote: »

I really can't see it making a blind bit of difference, when Nigel Owens came out the reaction was "so what?" which is the healthiest reaction really.

Any player stupid enough to try to taunt him about it would want to be very brave

As to those who wonder if we'll see a deluge of sports stars coming out, you'll prob get a few more from rugby and other sports, can't see it in soccer though for many reasons, not least including a very different audience and very different sort of media on the story.

All in all, fair play to Owens, Cusack and Thomas.

And on a final sidenote, it was poor out of him to do that to his wife though (i already see how this could be misconstrued so let me clarify - its not nice ask someone to commit to you forever when you don't want to commit to them forever).

Goodluck2me

Do they have any children by the way?

Brave decision to come out especially seeing as his career is almost over he could have waited. Brave.

Boston

Goodluck2me wrote: »

Do they have any children by the way?

Brave decision to come out especially seeing as his career is almost over he could have waited. Brave.

The article mentions three miscarriages.

Goodluck2me

Boston wrote: »

The article mentions three miscarriages.

OMG the guy has had some tough luck, they bot have to be fair. No wonder he was finding things difficult.

Catmologen

Is his book out for Christmas?

yogidc26

Fair play I wish more people would stand up like him

Boston

Catmologen wrote: »

Is his book out for Christmas?

Is there even a book at all? I read no mention of any book. You'd figure he'd put in a plug for it in the article if there was. But hey lets not let that stop you being derisive.

walshb

In relation to the dressing room question.

If men being attracted to men is the same as men being attracted to women, I mean the intensity and feelings of lust etc is the same, then Gareth in a room full of hunky and masculine men would have to have a fairly big affect on him.

It would be the same feelings that a man would get if he was in a changing room full of women, and fit women at that

Wreck

Total legend, one of my favourite players of all time even if he is Welsh. It's shame we live in a culture where people are somewhat defined by their sexuality, although Thomas' bravery in going public may help to change this.

wixfjord

Macsimus wrote: »

wixfjord wrote: »

By the way (and this is a genuine question! ) would he have a seperate dressing room to get changed in I wonder?[/quote]

Call it a genuine question if you like, but you know its not - you've let yourself down with that one imo

It takes great character to do what himself, Owens & Cusack have done - Im sure most posters here (myself included) have made homophobic jokes with our mates in the past, even if our attitude towards it is quite liberal- its a product of our upbringing- but reading about how himself and Owens would of considered suicide really makes you think - i for one will be with the PC brigade on this one from now on.

Bahaha what are you talking about :rolleyes: Let myself down eh. I couldnt give a toss what you think tbh, anyway I dunno how you would know I wasnt being genuine anyway!

Thank you walshb for bringing a bit of sense. I mean wouldnt it be like a woman getting changed in a mans dressing room in a way. And no Im not homophobic mascimus if you were referring to me. Far from it. Ill be off to drown my sorrows now since Ive "let myself down" so much :P

Boston

walshb wrote: »

In relation to the dressing room question.

If men being attracted to men is the same as men being attracted to women, I mean the intensity and feelings of lust etc is the same, then Gareth in a room full of hunky and masculine men would have to have a fairly big affect on him.

It would be the same feelings that a man would get if he was in a changing room full of women, and fit women at that

You know this how precisely? Have you changed in a woman changing room and felt attracted to the women? If it really had a "fairly big" affect on him then his team mates wouldn't have been surprised at all at all. Have you never exercised even the tiniest bit of self control with regards the opposite sex. I don't know about you but when I use communal showers and changing areas I'm in an out as quickly as possible, I don't sit around hoping to cop an eye full of the other lads and most if not all the other guys are the same.

dreamer_ire

I'm sure there are some similarities but I think you need to contextualise it more. It would be like a man sharing a changing room with the same women several times a week. It becomes so commonplace that you don't look at these people naked in a sexual way. That's my view from an amateur standpoint. Add to that that this is this guys job and I'm sure the bond professional teams experience is even stronger than amateur teams so many of these guys are like brothers/best friends.

I don't think you let yourself down at all wixfjord. As I said before asking questions and being open to the answers is the best way to understand someone else's viewpoint.

Boston

Well I'll put it this way. If you saw your sister naked would you become sexually aroused?

TheCandystripes

jayteecork wrote: »

Amazing.
My gaydar wouldn't have picked up him at all.

Plus BBC mentioned Donal Og Cusack too.
BBC have come a long way since they completely removed the republic of Ireland from the planet earth when they did their weather forecast!


Wonder now had his celebration where he tapped his head have some hidden meaning ?

well notice france doesn't seem to be there either which is closer to england than ireland is. why should they show a foreign country?

anyway fair play to thomas.

toomevara

OK folks, this is a rugby forum. Lets stay OT and leave each others respective sisters, mothers, brothers and significant others out of the equation. Sort yourselves out or I will.

stephen_n

walshb wrote: »

In relation to the dressing room question.

If men being attracted to men is the same as men being attracted to women, I mean the intensity and feelings of lust etc is the same, then Gareth in a room full of hunky and masculine men would have to have a fairly big affect on him.

It would be the same feelings that a man would get if he was in a changing room full of women, and fit women at that

Not to disrespect the mods on this or to continue this in anyway but I think considering the team i play for I'm in a position to clarify that point. Sex and sexuality doesn't enter the dressing room for gay men anymore than it does for straight men. Your there to play a game and do a job your mind ain't on the bodies around you in that way!

Far play to him for coming out, sad that he went down the route of trying to conform and dragging his wife into his own struggle, hope they are both happy in the future though!

Aidric

walshb wrote: »

In relation to the dressing room question.

If men being attracted to men is the same as men being attracted to women, I mean the intensity and feelings of lust etc is the same, then Gareth in a room full of hunky and masculine men would have to have a fairly big affect on him.

It would be the same feelings that a man would get if he was in a changing room full of women, and fit women at that

That post belongs in the dark ages.