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Repercussions of a Wish- a horrible conundrum

  • 10-12-2009 12:26pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 188 ✭✭


    Ok this is a debate me and my buddies have been having for years always bringing new people into the debate and asking their opinion. The results are widely varying and people change their mind frequently whilst trying to answer it.

    Ok this the scenario and works for both guys and gals. You find Aladdins lamp and he grants you 1 wish to sleep with anyone you want in the world. My wish being to sleep with Eva Mendes(my favourite lady in the world bar none), Aladdin being a good little genie grants this wish, however with one little, I mean huge catch, whatever I do to Eva Mendes on my one night of passion with her, I also have to do exactly the same things with the ugliest, smelliest, sweatiest, heaviest woman the world has ever known the night after.

    So the debate is, firstly would you do this(I would) knowing that you have to sleep with said ugliest woman in the world the next night but more importantly what would you do with your selected partner. Now knowing you have to sleep with the horrible mutant the next night, would you caress her all night long, kissing every crevice of her body, using every position you know, French kiss her, go downtown, a little bit of rimming maybe?? etc etc…… or would you just go for a quickie missionary or doggie, no kissing, sickened you can’t do what you really want but knowing it’s going to save you from hours of disgust and vomiting the next night that will leave you with nightmares for the rest of your life and maybe make you sexually impotent. Pics below to set the scene….


    Lads/Ladies would love to hear yere opinion on this, how far would you go and please state who your ideal partner would be as well?


    Eva-Mendes-85.JPG



    and


    fat-ugly-goth.jpg


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,059 ✭✭✭Buceph


    Can you choose to do the ugger the first night so you've something to look forward to? If you did your choice first the next night would be on your mind and you wouldn't enjoy it. Reverse the nights though and it might be doable.


    (Also the uggo would have to be the same age as my choice, banging a granny would be too much.)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    But I sleep with me every night. Why would I need the wish?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,845 ✭✭✭Jet Black


    Eva Mendes not work it tbh.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,883 ✭✭✭wudangclan


    In situations like this I always ask myself....'what would Feeky Magee do?'


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    I'd go with Asia Argento or Rachel Weisz or Jennifer Connelly or Laura Prepon (Hot Donna! :D)

    Then I'd screw the genie over (or maybe share my wish with him after I'm done) so that he winds up having to do the filthy stuff I did to the fat, sweaty, ugly woman.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 188 ✭✭powerfade


    Buceph wrote: »
    Can you choose to do the ugger the first night so you've something to look forward to? If you did your choice first the next night would be on your mind and you wouldn't enjoy it. Reverse the nights though and it might be doable.


    (Also the uggo would have to be the same age as my choice, banging a granny would be too much.)


    Ya you could do the uggo the first night but imo you wouldn't do anything too extravagant with her and then you would be crying the next night with your fantasy woman saying 'i wish I'd done this, wish I'd done taht'


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 188 ✭✭powerfade


    I would make sure your Ma was busy that night.


    but then you'd end up with your ma and that would be double bad.....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    powerfade wrote: »
    Ya you could do the uggo the first night but imo you wouldn't do anything too extravagant with her and then you would be crying the next night with your fantasy woman saying 'i wish I'd done this, wish I'd done taht'

    What if you gave your wish girl a rim job :eek:

    The following night with the ugger: *Pulls dingleberries aside* "Eurgh God!"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,679 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    You could always give yourself a good dose of the rohypnol for the second one.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,305 ✭✭✭DOC09UNAM


    Well, there's no rule disqualifying drink from the second night, or a blindfold.

    so drink + blindfold for uggo = every hole is a goal.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,736 ✭✭✭ch750536


    Well, the second night, lets just say maybe it'll kill Thatcher making it a win\win.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,025 ✭✭✭slipss


    Psshh easy one, go nuts with the hot chick and down a bottle and a half of Jagermeister before you have to go on the mutt. This way for the rest of your life you'll only have the memory of the hot chick.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,729 ✭✭✭Acoshla


    powerfade wrote: »
    Aladdin being a good little genie

    Aladdin isn't a genie


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    If it meant that i could sleep with Olga Kurylenko and then have an excuse to get completely pissed afterwards before going at Dirtyfatty Mc Minger, then...probably.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,461 ✭✭✭--Kaiser--


    slipss wrote: »
    Psshh easy one, go nuts with the hot chick and down a bottle and a half of Jagermeister before you have to go on the mutt.

    If I had a bottle and a half of Jaeger I'd be lucky to raise a smile.

    Good thinking though, to quote an old housemate of mine "Beauty is only a lightswitch away"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 633 ✭✭✭Warfi


    Duggy747 wrote: »
    *Pulls dingleberries aside* "Eurgh God!"


    :D:D:D:D:D

    Picasso-faced friend
    Dingleberries

    don't mind me, I'm just compiling a dictionary of Duggy747-isms.

    :D:D:D I cannot stop laughing!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 219 ✭✭MissIT


    Oh god no way!!! What if the hot one wasn't even good in bed then your stuck with still having to sleep with the ugly one.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,228 ✭✭✭bluto63


    MissIT wrote: »
    Oh god no way!!! What if the hot one wasn't even good in bed then your stuck with still having to sleep with the ugly one.

    But then the ugly one could be really good in bed, so it kinda balances out! ....In an odd way


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Put a sack over the ugly ones head and pretend it's the goodlooking one but then you have that body to contend with ......not easy


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 188 ✭✭powerfade


    MissIT wrote: »
    Oh god no way!!! What if the hot one wasn't even good in bed then your stuck with still having to sleep with the ugly one.


    Well you only have to do with the ugly one what you did with the hot one, have a sneaky feeling Eva Mendes would be unbelieveable in the sack as well.

    Also to all who would get ****faced before shagging the ugly beast, if you can't perform like you did for the hot one you would have to go at it again at a later unconfirmed as of yet date!! Double fukn torture!!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭funk-you


    Latchy wrote: »
    Put a sack over the ugly ones head and pretend it's the goodlooking one but then you have that body to contend with ......not easy

    What is it with sacks on heads? Do you people not have eyelids?

    -Funk


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 219 ✭✭MissIT


    powerfade wrote: »
    Well you only have to do with the ugly one what you did with the hot one, have a sneaky feeling Eva Mendes would be unbelieveable in the sack as well.

    Also to all who would get ****faced before shagging the ugly beast, if you can't perform like you did for the hot one you would have to go at it again at a later unconfirmed as of yet date!! Double fukn torture!!

    Even if you only have to do what you done with the hot one you still have to sleep with them. You will prob never get the image of the ugly one out of your head.

    Also imagine if i found the ugly one was better in bed than Robbert Pattinson (yummy).. my world would be shattered!!! with repercussions like that i think id give it a skip!!

    Then again a night with Robbert Pattinson.. *drools


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,314 ✭✭✭BOHtox


    beauty is only a light switch away


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,103 ✭✭✭mathie


    I've heard this before but it was a joke and it ended with Paddy Irishman drinking a bottle of spirits, shagging a tiger and then asking 'Where's this tiger I have to wrestle?'


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    funk-you wrote: »
    What is it with sacks on heads? Do you people not have eyelids?

    -Funk
    Well as BOHtox said below ;)
    BOHtox wrote: »
    beauty is only a light switch away


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,291 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Yep I'd do it and go to town on both of them. Sex is sex and the otherwise dodgy looking lassie may well be a great laugh. Powerfade, I would suggest if a genie does visit us both at a similar time, pick a different night for Ms. Mendes as otherwise you may find my scrawny arse in the way of any progress on your part. Then again maybe that's your bag? Good manners to warn a chap before jumping in though :eek::D

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,094 ✭✭✭jd007


    You and your friend have spent years discussing this?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18 renko


    If Eva Mendes was doing this wish thing, would you be on her first or second night?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 188 ✭✭powerfade


    jd007 wrote: »
    You and your friend have spent years discussing this?

    Good contribution JD, it has come up in discussion over the years, think its funny imagining all the filth you would love to do to your fav girl but then thinking you would have to do exactly the same thing to the dirtbird.
    Wibbs wrote: »
    Yep I'd do it and go to town on both of them. Sex is sex and the otherwise dodgy looking lassie may well be a great laugh. Powerfade, I would suggest if a genie does visit us both at a similar time, pick a different night for Ms. Mendes as otherwise you may find my scrawny arse in the way of any progress on your part. Then again maybe that's your bag? Good manners to warn a chap before jumping in though :eek::D

    Haha Wibbs, not dodgy, the worst bird you could ever imagine, going downtown to the smelliest, dirtiest snatch you could ever imagine. Now I'm off to find that genie before your scrawany arse gets to Eva first:D....*walks off whistling in hope..


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,582 ✭✭✭TouchingVirus


    Wagon wrote: »
    If it meant that i could sleep with Olga Kurylenko and then have an excuse to get completely pissed afterwards before going at Dirtyfatty Mc Minger, then...probably.

    Thread was soooo worth it just for this name drop :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Latchy wrote: »
    Put a sack over the ugly ones head and pretend it's the goodlooking one but then you have that body to contend with ......not easy

    Its TWO sacks.

    One for her head and one for your head in case her one falls off :cool:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,900 ✭✭✭rannerap


    hells yeah,for the awful person you can just get disgustingly drunk and lie there,itd totally be worth it


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    hells yeah,for the awful person you can just get disgustingly drunk and lie there,itd totally be worth it

    women :rolleyes:


    :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,900 ✭✭✭rannerap


    women :rolleyes:


    :pac:

    would you honestly put any effort in,or want to remember if this was who you were doing!

    http://media.ugoto.com/pictures/ugliest-man-in-the-world-eb9.jpg

    still totally worth it for this

    http://www.topnews.in/files/Robert-Pattinson_1.jpg

    or

    http://www.independent.ie/multimedia/archive/00294/breslin_herald_294042t.jpg


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,397 ✭✭✭Herbal Deity


    Wait, you're saying I get sex on two consecutive nights?

    I don't understand, what's the catch?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,133 ✭✭✭Stevecw


    powerfade wrote: »
    Ok this is a debate me and my buddies have been having for years always bringing new people into the debate and asking their opinion. The results are widely varying and people change their mind frequently whilst trying to answer it.

    Ok this the scenario and works for both guys and gals. You find Aladdins lamp and he grants you 1 wish to sleep with anyone you want in the world. My wish being to sleep with Eva Mendes(my favourite lady in the world bar none), Aladdin being a good little genie grants this wish, however with one little, I mean huge catch, whatever I do to Eva Mendes on my one night of passion with her, I also have to do exactly the same things with the ugliest, smelliest, sweatiest, heaviest woman the world has ever known the night after.

    So the debate is, firstly would you do this(I would) knowing that you have to sleep with said ugliest woman in the world the next night but more importantly what would you do with your selected partner. Now knowing you have to sleep with the horrible mutant the next night, would you caress her all night long, kissing every crevice of her body, using every position you know, French kiss her, go downtown, a little bit of rimming maybe?? etc etc…… or would you just go for a quickie missionary or doggie, no kissing, sickened you can’t do what you really want but knowing it’s going to save you from hours of disgust and vomiting the next night that will leave you with nightmares for the rest of your life and maybe make you sexually impotent. Pics below to set the scene….


    Lads/Ladies would love to hear yere opinion on this, how far would you go and please state who your ideal partner would be as well?


    Eva-Mendes-85.JPG



    and


    fat-ugly-goth.jpg


    Ah so you're that weird stalker guy from the vodafone add who hadn't the balls at the end!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBNzHWh5LYo


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,094 ✭✭✭jd007


    powerfade wrote: »
    Good contribution JD, it has come up in discussion over the years, think its funny imagining all the filth you would love to do to your fav girl but then thinking you would have to do exactly the same thing to the dirtbird.

    Ya I thought it was a pretty good contribution too, thanks! Just another question how does this topic just"come up into discussion"?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,165 ✭✭✭✭brianthebard


    DOC09UNAM wrote: »
    Well, there's no rule disqualifying drink from the second night, or a blindfold.

    so drink + blindfold for uggo = every hole is a goal.

    You had to give the uggo a blindfold? I'm sorry but how bad do you look???/


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,333 ✭✭✭✭itsallaboutheL


    wudangclan wrote: »
    In situations like this I always ask myself....'what would Feeky Magee do?'

    strike out?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,990 ✭✭✭longshanks


    mary harney on the first night

    mary harney on the second night

    48 hours rimming that fat bumhole, win fuckin win situation. yeeaaahhhhh!!!!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,475 ✭✭✭✭Blazer


    longshanks wrote: »
    mary harney on the first night

    mary harney on the second night

    48 hours rimming that fat bumhole, win fuckin win situation. yeeaaahhhhh!!!!

    brrhhhhaghgh.,..


    sorry..that was my dinner coming back up :mad:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,730 ✭✭✭✭entropi


    So the first night could be with either? then i'd probably use that first night as a triple-bagger (bag for each of our heads, another one on me just to be safe)

    And look forward to a night with either Shakira or Zooey Deschanel on the second :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Its TWO sacks.

    One for her head and one for your head in case her one falls off :cool:
    Genius ...as long as we hit the sack with the goodlooking one it will be worth the inconvienience


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 357 ✭✭K-Ren


    Sorry, what was the question again? I got as far as the picture of Eva Mendez and..wait, I'll look at it again...to help.;make remember, me!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,009 ✭✭✭KarmaGarda


    I would do absolutely EVERYTING imaginable to Eva Mendez. God, the stories you could tell. Seriously, imagine the fun it would be trying to wheelbarrow a fat chick.


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