Weird Roommate

chrussell

Ok peeps, I have this 34 year old french woman living with me. there are 6 of us altogether living here and the rest of us are guys aged between 19 and 23. The other night while 3 of us and the french woman and her bf were in the sitting room watchin a movie. Her and her boyfriend are stretched out on one of the sofa's wrestling tongues and with hands going were they really shouldnt with 3 others in the room. Then they disappeared upstairs without saying a word to the rest of us who were feeling pretty shocked and weired out.
A couple of weeks ago one of the lads came in with his nephew and caught them having sex on the dining room table, its pretty horrendous!

So what I'm saying is, I need to get rid of her ASAP! So I'm looking for some tips on how to get rid of her, we've stopped flushing the toilet, we're peeing on the toilet seat, she hates football, so we're sky plusing every game and watching it when she's in.

Any helpful tips would be really appreciated!

Atavan-Halen

Join in* She's clearly not ashamed about it

*only if she's do-able.

Photi

She's French.

Speak with a German accent, she'll give in after 10 minutes.

Mmcd

Post pics of her on the internet?

minidazzler

have sex with her???? She sounds fun!

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Happy Monday

I hope she doesn't look like this!

Hazys

Smoke her out

dr.bollocko

How about you move out?
She's paying rent too. Paying rent entitles her to bang somebody on the table if the night's going that way.

HalloweenJack

You guys are pissing on the seat and scheming up ways to get her to leave instead f confronting her but think shes weird because she enjoys sex.

Warfi

chrussell wrote: »

So what I'm saying is, I need to get rid of her ASAP! So I'm looking for some tips on how to get rid of her, we've stopped flushing the toilet, we're peeing on the toilet seat, she hates football, so we're sky plusing every game and watching it when she's in.

You should also make a bra bomb and detonate it when she comes into the sitting room.

OR...... you could tell her to stop the over the top public displays of affection because it makes you and your housemates feel uncomfortable.

The_Kew_Tour

Tell her to come over to my place and ill let her have sex with her wherever she wants.

Mint Sauce

start a discussion about her on an internet forum, oh wait....

Feeky Magee

Hehehe. Sex.

plein de force

well french people do love their sex
but eww on a table other people food off of?i trust it has been disinfected?:p

syklops

5 19-23 year olds were shocked and weirded out when they saw a woman over 30 making out?

You guys have lead some sheltered lives!

Its a renters market why dont all 5 of you move out to somewhere else?

Or tell her the rent is being increased?

rizzee

Handball

Mint Sauce

plein de force wrote: »

well french people do love their sex
but eww on a table other people food off of?i trust it has been disinfected?:p

her or the table

Prof.Badass

Set up secret video cameras around the place.........

<_<

>_>

<_<


....for eh, evidence of course.

minidazzler

HalloweenJack wrote: »

You guys are pissing on the seat and scheming up ways to get her to leave instead f confronting her but think shes weird because she enjoys sex.

Guarantee none of them is getting laid on a regular basis, but they all whack off when they hear her fcuking! :P

segaBOY

Grow a pair and ask her to stop having sex on the dining room table?

dr.bollocko

This is what happens when we let nuns teach sex ed.

Buceph

Get a video camera and start recording her behaviour. Then you could post it on the internet and embaress her into stopping. I'm sure putting a link on Ireland's most popular message board's most popular board with get the kind of attention she might not want.

segaBOY

minidazzler wrote: »

Guarantee none of them is getting laid on a regular basis, but they all whack off when they hear her fcuking! :P

They should have sex ed for that stuff

Agricola

Sneak into her room some night bollock naked and start fapping slowly while you stare at her in the bed. If she wakes up to see this and doesnt immediately call the cops on ya then shes a keeper!

Atavan-Halen

Buceph wrote: »

Get a video camera and start recording her behaviour. Then you could post it on the internet and embaress her into stopping. I'm sure putting a link on Ireland's most popular message board's most popular board with get the kind of attention she might not want.

Yes. Besides, how do we know you're not lying? We need some solid evidence.

jester77

Feck sake, most of us have to search for porn on the internet and you come on here complaining when it's live in your living room :eek:

MagicMarker

Wait... this woman was having sex in a house she is living in? :eek::eek::eek:

Have you called the police? :rolleyes:

dr.bollocko

Agricola wrote: »

Sneak into her room some night bollock naked and start fapping slowly while you stare at her in the bed. If she wakes up to see this and doesnt immediately call the cops on ya then shes a keeper!

I really hope you're posting this from jail.

Turd Ferguson

1: Steal her underpants
2: ????????
3: PROFIT

monkeypants

Agricola wrote: »

Sneak into her room some night bollock naked and start fapping slowly while you stare at her in the bed. If she wakes up to see this and doesnt immediately call the cops on ya then shes a keeper!

I'm crying laughing...:D

Maybe she's having sex on the dining room table to get rid of her dirty unhygienic housemates :eek:

Agricola

dr.bollocko wrote: »

I really hope you're posting this from jail.

Nope, my own personal asylum. My mind.

chrussell

ok first things first, she's an absolute munter, short chubby hairy greasy and smelly, i dont ever wanna see her let alone watch he getting nitty gritty with some dirty baldling lad in a wife beater.... and the incident on the dining table happened at 3 pm not at nighttime

Pyr0

chrussell wrote: »

ok first things first, she's an absolute munter, short chubby hairy greasy and smelly, i dont ever wanna see her let alone watch he getting nitty gritty with some dirty baldling lad in a wife beater.... and the incident on the dining table happened at 3 pm not at nighttime

You can only have sex at night now ?

Archeron

Next time she's making out in the living room in front of you all, everybody else drag your bare asses across the living room like a dog with worms.

As someone else said, if that doesnt get rid of her, she's a keeper.

monkeypants

chrussell wrote: »

the incident on the dining table happened at 3 pm not at nighttime

Sounds about right. If they left a perfectly warm bed in the middle of the night to have a gallop on the dining table, that'd be plain weird.

tman

So if she was actually good looking you wouldn't have a problem with any of it?

MagicMarker

Why would a group of 19-23 year olds share a house with a 34 year old, ugly, short, fat french chick?

I call shenanigans.

HalloweenJack

chrussell wrote: »

and the incident on the dining table happened at 3 pm not at nighttime

Did they think they were alone in the house?

Jarren

I want this weird housemate to move in with me asap:D

Ohh man:rolleyes:


Sounds like a girlfriend of my dreams:D

SoWatchaWant

Tell her to knock it off.

chrussell

MagicMarker wrote: »

Why would a group of 19-23 year olds share a house with a 34 year old, ugly, short, fat french chick?

I call shenanigans.

She just moved in, nothing to do with us. We're students and she's a mature student

As for the incident, i think she thought they were alone

Bigdeadlydave

Ok guys simple solution: Every time she does something that annoys you take a dump somewhere in her bedroom: Bedside locker, jewelry box, drawers, handbag etc etc be imaginative!
(best done after a night on the beer)

j2u

ask if she wants to make a porno and sell it on the internet.

blogga

dr.bollocko wrote: »

How about you move out?
She's paying rent too. Paying rent entitles her to bang somebody on the table if the night's going that way.

if the nights going that way...lmao

syklops

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

1: Steal her underpants
2: Sell them at auction on adverts.ie
3: PROFIT

FYP.

Feeky Magee

chrussell wrote: »

ok first things first, she's an absolute munter, short chubby hairy greasy and smelly, i dont ever wanna see her let alone watch he getting nitty gritty with some dirty baldling lad in a wife beater.... and the incident on the dining table happened at 3 pm not at nighttime

jarecki1976 wrote: »

Sounds like a girlfriend of my dreams:D

I see.

mikemac

How many nights a week is the boyfriend staying over?
Tbh if it's four or more nights a week I'd be asking him to pay rent.

Can't she go over to his place for a while?

Dudess

HalloweenJack wrote: »

You guys are pissing on the seat and scheming up ways to get her to leave instead of confronting her but think shes weird because she enjoys sex. Ok, I know the sex she was having was on the dining table, and she was engaging in foreplay on the couch in front of other people in a communal room, which is really rude, but I'm gonna leave those points out as they don't suit my argument.

MagicMarker wrote: »

Wait... this woman was having sex in a house she is living in? :eek::eek::eek:

Have you called the police? :rolleyes:

Ok, I know she was having sex on the dining table, and engaging in foreplay on the couch in front of other people in a communal room, which is really rude, but I'm gonna leave those points out as they don't suit my argument.

FYP's

Pyr0 wrote: »

You can only have sex at night now ?

Well, you're being a bit disingenuous by not including the dining table bit, to be fair.

If I was watching TV and there was a couple in the same room... not having a bit of a snog every so often, but engaging in full-on foreplay; and if they also ****ed on the table at which people eat, and did so at a time when people are likely to walk in on them... oh yeah, I'd have to be a total prude to find that a bit much.

HalloweenJack

Granted, the foreplay makes other people uncomfortable but the OP said:

Her and her boyfriend are stretched out on one of the sofa's wrestling tongues and with hands going were they really shouldnt with 3 others in the room. Then they disappeared upstairs

Unless specified, that could mean the hands remained outside the clothes. When they were getting worked up, they left.

As for the other incident, they probably thought nobody was around. The OP didn't specify if they continued once somebody walked in.

And guys who piss on the toilet seat and stop flushing the toilet really aren't ones to complain about hygiene.