Husbands/Partners & Money.....how much do you tell them?

marmalade3

My husband and I share a credit card account, ie I am a cardholder on his credit card account (to avoid paying the government levy of €40 twice hehe). Recently there has been quite a bit of extra activity on the card (with Christmas coming) and yesterday, the fraud section of the credit card company rang my hubby to check with him that the card had not been stolen!!!

Now I admit I did buy cosmetics from a website in Hong Kong (ordered Monday online - received Weds - yes amazing service) but I didn't think I had OVERused the card.

However, my hubby didn't agree. I had some explaining to do as I always handle all the household bills including the credit card bill, which he just gives to me unopened when it arrives so he never has any idea how much is spent.

I was wondering what other ladies do?... do you hide certain expenditure or are you completely upfront with it all?

Morgase

We keep completely separate accounts so there is no need to particularly share or hide anything. If he questioned what I spent on something (or vice versa), you can bet there would be some harsh words said!

However I don't depend on him and he doesn't depend on me, so it is practical to keep it all separate. It might be a different story if one was depending on the other.

Acoshla

My boyfriend is by his own admission awful with money, he doesn't have a credit card, laser card or atm card. I have a credit card and if he ever needs to buy anything with it or if we're buying or paying for something together with it he just uses the card and gives me the money to pay it, so I know everything he spends, only because it's on my card. I wouldn't be watching what he spends per se, but he does like me to keep an eye and make sure he doesn't lose the run of himself.

He would never question my spending habits, for a few reasons, he doesn't care, he knows I'm veeeery careful with my money and he would feel quite hypocritical because he's so awful with it himself. I am generally the one in control of the money though, I think he'd actually be happiest if he just got an allowance he had to stick to

This

We each put money together every week for the bills, food etc and then our separate money is our own.

The_Conductor

All the bills, mortgage, cartax/insurance, credit card etc get paid out of my current account. My other half gives me a lumpsum every month towards the bills- and despite my best efforts at getting her interested in our joint finances, doesn't seem to care about them- other than the bottom line, do we have money in the account or are we overdrawn?

She has her own current account, and tends to be the one who pays for the 'treats' be they going out, or holidays etc (though this is on permanent hold with our impending arrival!)

She has a credit card on my account- but I don't think she has ever used it. It gets used mostly to pay for groceries, the monthly pharmacy bill, weekly fuel for the car etc- saves using cash. The few bits of online purchasing tend to be me.

SeekUp

We've got a shared checking account, savings account, and credit card here in Canada, as well as our individual accounts in our countries of citizenship.

I'd always thought that I'd like to have separate accounts for each of our personal stuff and only use the joint account for household stuff and joint purchases (and I think I still might like to do things that way), but given our current situation, things are complicated enough!

Because we put both our savings in one place and our purchases come our of our joint checking account for the most part, we're completely open with our purchases. We may ask each other what a particular charge was, but I can't remember us ever having any 'splaining to do.

helimachoptor

Currently my wages go into our joint account, mortgage, insurance, bills, petrol, car tax, food etc comes out of my wages.

Her wages we take some money to spend and save most of the rest.

I have my own CC, but I also have a CC that's on her account but it's only used rarely.

We're pretty even with money, a couple of years ago she got some dental work done and it's not "her expense" its ours, and same for me this year. My company is moving offices so I need to buy a car, but the money comes from our account rather than mine.

We pretty much earn around the same so I think that helps a lot.

Malari

We don't have a joint account and apart from a standing order for rent that goes out of my account into his every month, we pretty much work everything out as we go.

Utility bills, car expenses, and other household expenses are shared, but not in a strict way. I mean, I vaguely know that he paid for the groceries last weekend, and I put some petrol in the car this week. I'll buy the odd bits and pieces for dinner during the week, he'll pay for dining out at the weekend

Sometimes if things are tough going for a month, I'll pay big expenses and know that he'll do it next year. I've a steady income so I can do the car tax, for example, when it can be tricky for him.

We each have our own cash for all our own stuff. I would never question anything he spends money on but we are fairly open about it. Credit card bills could be left lying around - no problem.

Ickle Magoo

We each have our own accounts, we have a joint savings account and we have a joint "bills, mortgage, etc" account - as well as a credit union account. If I want to I can transfer money from one account to my own but generally I just spend from our joint accounts or joint credit card. I tell my husband if I'm spending more than usual just so he's aware & doesn't do likewise & push us over the limit but I would never have to explain myself or have questions to answer in a "what are you spending our money on" type of way.

ali.c

marmalade3 wrote: »

My husband and I share a credit card account, ie I am a cardholder on his credit card account (to avoid paying the government levy of €40 twice hehe). Recently there has been quite a bit of extra activity on the card (with Christmas coming) and yesterday, the fraud section of the credit card company rang my hubby to check with him that the card had not been stolen!!!


Now I admit I did buy cosmetics from a website in Hong Kong (ordered Monday online - received Weds - yes amazing service) but I didn't think I had OVERused the card.

Ops lol personally if my OH had a card on my account I think I would keep an eye on it, if anything else its me who legally is responsble for the debt.....

I was wondering what other ladies do?... do you hide certain expenditure or are you completely upfront with it all?

I am up front enough but our accounts are seperate. He would know roughly my finacial position but not all the specifics..More of an omission rather than a hiding.

stovelid

I think our relationship is definitely inverse to what seems to be the gender norm. We don't have a joint account. but I'm always the one that lamely tries to pass off new clothes to my wife as "stuff I've had for ages".

Orlaithc9

Wouldnt mind getting a link to that make up website you use???

ali.c

stovelid wrote: »

I think our relationship is definitely inverse to what seems to be the gender norm. We don't have a joint account. but I'm always the one that lamely tries to pass off new clothes to my wife as "stuff I've had for ages".

LOL i think claimly to have gotten a super duper special offer on it is likely to be more believable. For me managing my own finances is important, that includes making decisions around what I want to do with it. If down the road me and my OH integrate our finances remaining involved will certainly be important to me

sunnyside

Morgase wrote: »

If he questioned what I spent on something (or vice versa), you can bet there would be some harsh words said!
.

I've managed my own finances for so long I'd feel like that too. I'd be furious that he didn't want me treating myself to a few cosmetics at Christmas.

Orlaithc9 wrote: »

Wouldnt mind getting a link to that make up website you use???

Sounds like it might be strawberry.net

Crumble Froo

we're both on a really tight budget, so tend to buy things separately. we do separate food shopping and that, but do have a joint account (mostly for immigration purposes) which is basically just my account that he has access to, but never uses, unless he's asked first (even though i dont really mind).

i have an online savings account and a current account, so occasionally ill text him to transfer some money into my current account, cos im out and want to spend it, so there's pretty much every chance for him to look at exactly what ive spent every cent on. pretty transparent, really, just as long as we both have enough for rent and bills, it's all g. i'd hate to be one of those couples that fights over money, and i can't help but suspect that if we were to pool our money together in general, that could end up happening.