Close friend

carolinespring

I am looking for some advice, A really close friend is acting funny at the moment. She is a really great person, always the first to help anyone but often takes to much on and get very bogged down with it all. She has awful issues within her own family and is often in tears over them. She lives next door to my mother in law and was wonderful when she got really ill when we were on holidays about a month back, got the doctor and stayed with her until we got back and phoned her everyday while she was in hospital, but she is really off with me since. I asked her if everything was ok but got the head ate of me. That she was busy and she was sure my MIL was going to die. I have to add she didnt have to help as my husbands sister lives a couple of doors away. I tried calling her a few times in the week after but she was so cool it was like I got of the phone with frost bite!!!
Anyway she called a week later and we had a good chat and I again asked her if I had done anything to upset her and she said no, all was fine for a week, she would call a couple of times a day and we were making plans for a night out for my birthday and bang the same frost bite again... Asked her if all was ok, told yes. I asked was she sure as I hadnt heard from her and was told she had a life... so I left it. Someone called me today looking for her phone no and I text her to say I had passed it on. Got a ery basic thanks back but they already had my number....They didnt. Anyway I decided to give it one last go and gave her a buzz and i am just wondering why the hell I did.
I tried to keep it light and friendly and again asked how she was, about her week etc, she was Oh all great. I again asked had I done anything to upset her and she said no but that the last time I spoke to her it was just small talk about mother in law, christmas, weather.... What the hell was i ment to talk about when she was so cool with me. I gave up after a couple of minutes and rang off. I then felt bad and sent a text suggesting a coffee some evening and to give me a buzz anytime she wanted a chat. I have not got any reply.
I really do think a lot of her and would hate to lose her as a friend but she always has some drama in her life, the hours I have spent with her crying over some issue over the last number of years. She is always starting some project but never finishs it. She is married with 2 kids aged 11 & 13.
over the last few months I hae had lots of digs about how I would not know what worry was as I dont have kids. I found this very hurtful as I would love a child and she knows this. My husband who has known her for a lifetime says she had so many issues and to just walk away. To do that makes me very sad as she has always been very supportive when anything was wrong or I was upset.
I dont really want to talk to her husband abiut it as he is not the kind to talk to but he has always said she takes to much on her shoulder in the way of other peoples problems, infact I have often thought she is more happy when she is in the middle of someones crisis.
She is also very off with another friend of mine who she would just know from me, hardly talking to her at all when she meet her. Before this we would have spoken a few times a day.

What shoul I do? call, text or just leave it. What do I say if she calls me. I know in my heart I have not done anything wrong but I am very upset over this and reall need advice.

Sorry for the long winded rant.

snowy2008

i really think you should walk, you met her more than half way. Just leave it now, she knows where you are, you really tried so your conscience should be clear

LillyVanilli

I would give it another go. I would ring her up and ask her over for dinner or ask her to go out for a few drinks or coffee with you again. Some women are notorious for saying theres nothing wrong when something quite obviously is. Would you ever call around unannounced? If so, call over and have a proper chat face to face.

carolinespring

LillyVanilli wrote: »

I would give it another go. I would ring her up and ask her over for dinner or ask her to go out for a few drinks or coffee with you again. Some women are notorious for saying theres nothing wrong when something quite obviously is. Would you ever call around unannounced? If so, call over and have a proper chat face to face.

To just call over her kids are there and just could not talk. I still have had no reply to my text.

LillyVanilli

How long ago did you send it? I would still call again and ask her to meet up, if she says shes busy ask her to suggest a time. Its so much easier to chat face to face than it is by phone or by text. I know it feels like youre doing all the running and she has no reason to be off with you. But the best way to sort it out is face to face. Otherwise shes annoyed with you, and youre annoyed with her but neither of you know the reasons why.

carolinespring

I sent the text about 11-30am

JackieO

This sounds exactly like a very good friend of mine.

In the early days I used to do what you are doing but it wore me down and to be honest life is too short. Now, I just give her a bit of space when one of these moods arrives and do not pander to her at all. If she is being cool with me then I never pretend that I notice but I stay away from her after that for a while. She usually gets in touch again when she is over that particular strop.

What I have found with time is that the mood is usually very little to do with me. Or if it is to do with something I have done then its usually something extremely childish for an adult to be getting upset about. My friend is ultra sensitive so you can't always get it right. I don't spend too much time worrying about it anyway. As I said, life really is too short.

Good luck!

carolinespring

JackieO wrote: »

This sounds exactly like a very good friend of mine.

In the early days I used to do what you are doing but it wore me down and to be honest life is too short. Now, I just give her a bit of space when one of these moods arrives and do not pander to her at all. If she is being cool with me then I never pretend that I notice but I stay away from her after that for a while. She usually gets in touch again when she is over that particular strop.

What I have found with time is that the mood is usually very little to do with me. Or if it is to do with something I have done then its usually something extremely childish for an adult to be getting upset about. My friend is ultra sensitive so you can't always get it right. I don't spend too much time worrying about it anyway. As I said, life really is too short.

Thank you so much JackieO,

You are so right, I am going to keep away for a while and if she dose answer my text then well and good butlife is to short and over the last 6 months woith one thing and another I feel like I have been to hell and back.
I truely dont feel I have done anything to upset her and when I think back on the years she has gone stropy with me before and it was never anything I did. She has also got in a mood with other friends of hers.
I cried buckets over this the first week but at this stage I am just sad.
I have other things to worry about at the moment but I really hate any kind of conflict

carolinespring

I just wanted to update and ask for more advice on my opening post.
My friend never replyed to my text but on friday evening I bumped into her and her husband in the supermarket, she was all smiley but no chat. Her husand, my husband and myself chatted made small talk, weather, weekend plans etc but she didnt say much, answered when I spoke to her but didnt add anything really. Never said anything about my text to her and I didnt say anything. She kept walking away and looking at the christmas stuff.
I had dinner with another friend on thur and she said she found "M" to be quite bitchy at the moment. Also had coffee on friday with another good friend who would only know "M" through me and she is being very rude to her and making a point of not talking to her. My other friend made a point of talking to "M" and said she was very short with her.
I am at a loss and feel sick over the whole thing. Next friday night it is arranged to go out for dinner for my birthday, my mums and brothers (all dec birthdays!) My family are coming down to stay for the weekend and it has been arranged months ago thar "M" and her husband and another 2 couples were also coming. Now I dont know if I should call or text her to see if she is coming, I am sure she wont.
I feel very upset and stressed over the whole thing and I know in my heart I have not done anything to upset her. At this moment I just feel sick with stress and would love it sorted out. I feel it is pointless to phone her again but am wondering if I should text her about friday night or leave it.
Any advice would be welcome.

MysticalSoul

Personally, rather than asking if you have done something to upset her, I would say something along the lines how you feel about the current situation, eg "I feel hurt that I never received a reply to a text I sent you about meeting up", or something like that.

dubdcugirly

carolinespring wrote: »

I just wanted to update and ask for more advice on my opening post.
My friend never replyed to my text but on friday evening I bumped into her and her husband in the supermarket, she was all smiley but no chat. Her husand, my husband and myself chatted made small talk, weather, weekend plans etc but she didnt say much, answered when I spoke to her but didnt add anything really. Never said anything about my text to her and I didnt say anything. She kept walking away and looking at the christmas stuff.
I had dinner with another friend on thur and she said she found "M" to be quite bitchy at the moment. Also had coffee on friday with another good friend who would only know "M" through me and she is being very rude to her and making a point of not talking to her. My other friend made a point of talking to "M" and said she was very short with her.
I am at a loss and feel sick over the whole thing. Next friday night it is arranged to go out for dinner for my birthday, my mums and brothers (all dec birthdays!) My family are coming down to stay for the weekend and it has been arranged months ago thar "M" and her husband and another 2 couples were also coming. Now I dont know if I should call or text her to see if she is coming, I am sure she wont.
I feel very upset and stressed over the whole thing and I know in my heart I have not done anything to upset her. At this moment I just feel sick with stress and would love it sorted out. I feel it is pointless to phone her again but am wondering if I should text her about friday night or leave it.
Any advice would be welcome.

Hi there,

Sorry for what you are going through - I have a friend who can get me down like this and as your OH says mine says exactly the same, friends shouldnt do this but I understand why you keep trying. The way she treated you in the shopping centre is completely wrong and very rude. I think you need to remember that you are not the only one who she is doing this to and therefore maybe she feels her friends have let her down/done XYZ wrong/not supported her etc (not saying its correct but it may be why she is off with all her friends) or maybe and most likely she is a moody so and so at the moment. You need to remember that until there is proof of otherwise you have done nothing wrong and so you shouldn't feel like the bad person.

As for your family event, I personally dont think you should even want her to go but you also want a definitely answer. Perhaps if your OH and her OH know each other you could get him to ring her husband and ask. Or ring the house at a time you know she wont be there and ask. I think you have put yourself out enough for this girl. Find out whether she is going or not and then deal with the result, don't go running around after her to get her to your birthday party!

Hope it all works out

dubdcugirly

MysticalSoul wrote: »

Personally, rather than asking if you have done something to upset her, I would say something along the lines how you feel about the current situation, eg "I feel hurt that I never received a reply to a text I sent you about meeting up", or something like that.

+1

carolinespring

Thank you for the replys. Dou you think I should phone her and say I am Hurt you didnt reply to my test about meeting or text or wait until I bimp into her?

D rog

You've tried a few times now- and you seem to only be getting negative treatment? Give her some space, I wouldn't do any more running.
You don't have to cut the friendship off- just take a breather for a few weeks and you might find it naturally comes back together.

carolinespring

I think you are right. Will see what happens.

littlefriend

I think this is definitely all about her and not you. Maybe you should phone her about your birthday and say that you find it upsetting that she can be so cold towards you when she says you have done nothing wrong. I'd also pull her up on saying you don't know what worry is as you have no kids. Sounds like she is just thinking of herself constantly.
Also, I think its a bit weird that someone who is old enough to have a 13 year old child still rings their friends a few times a day?
I'm sure she was a good friend to you in the past but you don't have to be held to ransom over that forever. I'm sure you were a good friend to her too. Try telling her exactly how you feel. If it doesn't sort itself out walk away from her.
good luck and try not to feel upset because someone is being a selfish asshole. She is only letting herself down.

carolinespring

Just wanted to update on this one. I didnt call her and she didnt turn up to my birthday dinner or phone to say she wasnt coming. Anyway my real birthday was the following tue and she called that morning to " know was I all set for christmas" she never said a word about it being my birthday or wedding anv. I chatted about small talk stuff. ie weather, christmas hols etc and said that we were getting a take away that night for our wedding anv and not going to go out as we had been out so much lately. I got a weak happy anv and nothing about my birthday. After about 10 minutes I cut the call off as it was very uncomfortable. I said I would pop up to her over the next couple of day and got thats fine. Anyway on christmas eve I called but no one home, Had some gifts so left them at the door (nothing big but a little bead neckles that she is into plus a little gift for her husband and kids. Got no call or text to say thank you. Christmas morning we were in my mother in laws (she lives next door) when my friend came in with her husband, she gave me a kiss and a hug and sat down but would not look at me when she was talking to me. she handed over a present marked to both myself and my husband. They left after about 15 minutes. When we got home we opened the present to find a bottle of red wine in a wooden case...
Now two things are odd here. She had always given us both little presents and had said she hated giving one present to a couple and (2) she would never give wine to anyone she cared about... Needless to say I was hurt but am at the stage of whatever. I didnt hear anything from her over the next week. I waved when I saw her in the car but she didnt wave back, her husband did.

She text on NYE to wish a good one and to say we must meet up...??? Odd after all the other stuff. I text back wishing them a great night and happy NY, I also said I would be trilled to catch up but no reply.
I just dont know what to think and her birthday is coming up. We always did birthday presents (again small) so do I get her one, send a card or do nothing. This was the first year she didnt do anything for my birthday.

I was talking to another friend of hers yesterday and she said she got some very rude texts from her and when she met her one day she ate the head of her so much so that this girl left in tears and now is not when my friend meets her she wont talk to her. How childish

No point in trying to talk to her husband as it will be she is under so much pressure from her family (yes, she is and always has been and take evrything onto her shoulders, like I said in a earlier post about when my mother in law was ill)

I always valued her friendship and we would have been very close and supported each other over the years but I cant do this hot/cold thing and hate walking away but am not going to make a fool of myself either. I did suggest meeting up before christmas and got nowhere. I was so upset when she first started acting cool and odd but now I just dont know what to do.

I know I have not done anything to upset her and it is her who is unhappy but I cant help her if she is like this and am at the stage that I am not even sure that I care.

Sorry for the long rant and all advice is welcome. What do I do about her birthday? Part of me says that I should do something and the other half thinks why the hell would I. She is acting very odd with a lot of people at the moment. I do think she is depressed, she had a bad one about 5 years ago but was not angry at the world like this.

DubLass

Im exhausted just reading this. Back away and take a break. send her a birthday card and leave it at that. She seems angry with everyone not just you

Taltos

DubLass wrote: »

Im exhausted just reading this. Back away and take a break. send her a birthday card and leave it at that. She seems angry with everyone not just you

+1 to this.

Do you not see how much time and energy you are wasting on her behaviour??
Not yours, not your hubby's or your family's - but hers??

I mean please - step back quite a bit and take a long hard look at what you are doing / worrying about here and realise that sometimes people are just idiots.
She is an idiot for acting the way she is and...

Anyway - you can't control her. You cannot shape your life around making people like you. Just accept her for what she is or what she has become - an estranged friend or an acquaintance.

She might be going thru hell again - but if she doesn't want your help and seems to just keep snubbing you - then you have to come to the realization that enough is enough. It is long past time that you stop worrying so much about being liked by a sometime friend and focus more on doing things that make you and your family happy.

Life is full of people like this - they just suck the energy from you if you let them. So stop letting her.
She might come around - but she might not - but if she does - personally I would be extremely careful around someone so messed up.

Danniboo

Was your MIL seriously ill before you went away how long had she in hospital, and how long left did you have on your holidays after you found out she had been taken to hospital.

carolinespring

Danniboo wrote: »

Was your MIL seriously ill before you went away how long had she in hospital, and how long left did you have on your holidays after you found out she had been taken to hospital.

No my MIL was fine when we went on holiday and was in great form when my husband phoned her on the thur night. We were due back on the saturday evening but our flight was delayed by 12 hour and we didnt get into dublin until 8-30am on the sunday morning. MIL took ill around 10pm on the saturday night and my" friens" stayed with her until we got back on the sunday morning around 11-30pm. My friend rang us to tell us she was sick about 9am. She did not have to stay with MIL as her daughter lives a few doors up but she did and didnt call her daughter (or us until the next morning)
All was fine until then, I know my MIL is a total nightmare to deal with and would wear anyone out. In fairness my MIL was very ill and would not go into hospital for "friend" and only did when we got back and by the tue she was so ill we didnt expect her to live but she came round. She said she didnt call my husbands sister as she just panic (true but she is her daughter) My "friend" has had many little fall outs with my MIL over the years but in fairness god would also find it hard to deal with her!!!
My MIL was in hospital for almost 4 weeks and during that time "friend" phoned her 3-4 times a day a was very cool with me. It was during this time that I first asked her if I had upset her and was told no, she had a life....?? She also said she thught my MIL was going to die.
I feel guilty for walking away but really I cant take anymore of this crap, I was so upset when this first kicked off and cried buckets but now it just makes ne sad to see a close friendship go sour. I have a husband, elderly mum, MIL, and other friends plus a business to run, so that is plenty to worry about without this.

bSlick

I don't think you should bother contacting her again. Seriously whats the point. She has thrown your goodwill back in your face (and your friends faces) too many times to count now. And she seems to have purposely tried to offend you with an xmas present that she herself said she would never get for people she cared about. What do you expect her to do if you contact her again.....you know full well she will just blow you off. If I was in your shoes I would not bother contacting her again. See if she comes around after a few weeks when she see that people aren't gonna put up with her bullsh*t. I would also be asking for an apology for her behaviour if/when she does get in contact with you again.

And I personally wouldn't get a birthday card for someone who snubbed mine and purposely gave me a gift designed to insulting for xmas.

Danniboo

carolinespring wrote: »

No my MIL was fine when we went on holiday and was in great form when my husband phoned her on the thur night. We were due back on the saturday evening but our flight was delayed by 12 hour and we didnt get into dublin until 8-30am on the sunday morning. MIL took ill around 10pm on the saturday night and my" friens" stayed with her until we got back on the sunday morning around 11-30pm. My friend rang us to tell us she was sick about 9am. She did not have to stay with MIL as her daughter lives a few doors up but she did and didnt call her daughter (or us until the next morning)
All was fine until then, I know my MIL is a total nightmare to deal with and would wear anyone out. In fairness my MIL was very ill and would not go into hospital for "friend" and only did when we got back and by the tue she was so ill we didnt expect her to live but she came round. She said she didnt call my husbands sister as she just panic (true but she is her daughter) My "friend" has had many little fall outs with my MIL over the years but in fairness god would also find it hard to deal with her!!!
My MIL was in hospital for almost 4 weeks and during that time "friend" phoned her 3-4 times a day a was very cool with me. It was during this time that I first asked her if I had upset her and was told no, she had a life....?? She also said she thught my MIL was going to die.
I feel guilty for walking away but really I cant take anymore of this crap, I was so upset when this first kicked off and cried buckets but now it just makes ne sad to see a close friendship go sour. I have a husband, elderly mum, MIL, and other friends plus a business to run, so that is plenty to worry about without this.

I was thinking maybe she was annoyed at the fact you were off on holidays and she was home minding your sick MIL, obviously this is not the case. She might have a lot of hard things going on in life, but if anything this should make her appreciate her friends more knowing they are there for her. The bottle of wine thing definitely sounds like a dig to me. Really spiteful bitter thing to do, if it were me i'd rather she didnt give a present at all. I'd just keep my distance and stop trying to get her to talk, its all very childish behaviour.

Peggypeg

Danniboo wrote: »

I was thinking maybe she was annoyed at the fact you were off on holidays and she was home minding your sick MIL, obviously this is not the case. She might have a lot of hard things going on in life, but if anything this should make her appreciate her friends more knowing they are there for her. The bottle of wine thing definitely sounds like a dig to me. Really spiteful bitter thing to do, if it were me i'd rather she didnt give a present at all. I'd just keep my distance and stop trying to get her to talk, its all very childish behaviour.

Yeah I completely agree, she's acting like a 2 year old and a spiteful one at that. Don't send her a card or pressie. Stay well away from her and if you do make it up eventually just remember how she acted and tread carefully. To be quite honest with she sounds like a thundering bitch, you are way better off without friends like that.

dixiefly

I would suspect a touch of Depression here.
There could also be a touch of insecurity or some other issue that has manifested in the fact that she takes on many of her own family issues on her own shoulders. The incident with your MIL is also indicative of this - she stayed with your MIL the whole time while a much more appropriate person (i.e. that woman's pwn daughter) was just down the road.

Do you know why she didnt contact your SIL? If that had been my mum living close by and she was sick and a neighbour came in and stayed all night like that I would be grateful on the one hand but pretty p*ssed on the other.

Her behaviour is strange, it could be a touch of depression. You are right to back off imo. The only thing I could suggest is to keep contact with her husband - maybe check out whether these sympthoms (sp) are in keeping with depression and deal with it accordingly.

carolinespring

The reason she gave for not contacting mySIL was that she panic and dose not deal with illness well (true) but she is still the daughter and would have stepped up and done her bit. When I think of it she could have called us as we were due back into Dublin at 7-30pm on the saturday night and she did not know we were delayed and I had not text her.
She mwt a friend of mine last night in the supermarket who is expecting her first baby and look her she would now know what worry was and that I didnt know what worry was as I had no kids. Very hurtful as she knows we so want a baby and have tryed for the last 5 years and gone to hell and back over it. As you might have read in my OP she also made a dig about that when this all kicked off

The joys of living in a small town...everyone know each others friends.

Thanks for all the reply, it is good to get a fresh insight on this

Aoife9

bSlick wrote: »

I don't think you should bother contacting her again. Seriously whats the point. She has thrown your goodwill back in your face (and your friends faces) too many times to count now. And she seems to have purposely tried to offend you with an xmas present that she herself said she would never get for people she cared about. What do you expect her to do if you contact her again.....you know full well she will just blow you off. If I was in your shoes I would not bother contacting her again. See if she comes around after a few weeks when she see that people aren't gonna put up with her bullsh*t. I would also be asking for an apology for her behaviour if/when she does get in contact with you again.

And I personally wouldn't get a birthday card for someone who snubbed mine and purposely gave me a gift designed to insulting for xmas.

I totally agree with this, you have bent over backwards to be nice and understand her situation she sounds like a complete head wreck! Dr Phil would call her a toxic friend and you know what you should do with toxins? flush them out of your life you sound like a really nice person do yourself a favour and move on now! all the best xxx

LegacyUser

carolinespring wrote: »

The reason she gave for not contacting mySIL was that she panic and dose not deal with illness well (true) but she is still the daughter and would have stepped up and done her bit. When I think of it she could have called us as we were due back into Dublin at 7-30pm on the saturday night and she did not know we were delayed and I had not text her.
She mwt a friend of mine last night in the supermarket who is expecting her first baby and look her she would now know what worry was and that I didnt know what worry was as I had no kids. Very hurtful as she knows we so want a baby and have tryed for the last 5 years and gone to hell and back over it. As you might have read in my OP she also made a dig about that when this all kicked off

The joys of living in a small town...everyone know each others friends.

Thanks for all the reply, it is good to get a fresh insight on this

What a bitch all women should understand the sensitivity when it comes to having children. I had an incident like this before I wasn't long after finding out i'd have trouble having children when one of my bessie mates announces to the world she'd defo have an abortion if it stopped her travelling. Seriously good riddance she sounds awful.

carolinespring

Aoife9 wrote: »

I totally agree with this, you have bent over backwards to be nice and understand her situation she sounds like a complete head wreck! Dr Phil would call her a toxic friend and you know what you should do with toxins? flush them out of your life you sound like a really nice person do yourself a favour and move on now! all the best xxx

Thank you so much. I have had the same friends for a lifetime and of course made new ones along the way and have never had any issues before. I have often felt that if I am doing something she had to do it and if it dosent worry out then it was just rubbish. I know that sounds odd and I hope you know what I mean. I am just the kind of person who hates any type of comflict and I am also worried about what she will say to others esp about us wanting kids, she would know a lot of personal stuff.

Aoife9

carolinespring wrote: »

Thank you so much. I have had the same friends for a lifetime and of course made new ones along the way and have never had any issues before. I have often felt that if I am doing something she had to do it and if it dosent worry out then it was just rubbish. I know that sounds odd and I hope you know what I mean. I am just the kind of person who hates any type of comflict and I am also worried about what she will say to others esp about us wanting kids, she would know a lot of personal stuff.

I know exactly what you mean and I have a bit of experience with a person a bit like her, I'm from a very small town too and I have had to cut contact with a friend I've been friends with since we were 10yrs old for similar reasons, I couldn't see it for years but she just wore me down, she didn't like it if I had other friends, if I went on holiday with my husband and kids she'd make snide comments if I got a new car she'd always take the good out of it for me saying things like there was nothing wrong with the old one and wasn't I very extravagant, she would sulk if I missed calling her for a day and she had a lot of insight to my personal life too where she could tell people things I would rather stay private but I just had enough the day that my son was discharged from hospital he had been in over a weekend and I was so tired I went to bed when we got home when I got up she rang and ate the head off me for not calling her sooner I was SO angry I didn't speak to her for 2 years I ignored her calls and texts and she gave up pretty soon.We are able to be civil now and just say hello but I will never ever be put in a situation like that again where someone has that amount of control on my emotions or life she was poison and I'm so much happier without her in my life that all happened about 4 years ago and i can't believe I put up with her sh1t for so long. Be strong and don't let her emotionally bully you take care xxxx

Danniboo

There's a post in Ladies Lounge might be worth a read for you called Bitchy Girls.

LegacyUser

Ah no, she is a nasty so and so and you are well rid. I dont know her personal circumstances but she appears to have some personal issues but also to be jealous of you.

My best friend is Ciara and she had a friend (knew each other as kids and mothers friends) from home and they ended up sharing accomodation in college. TBH, this wan was nothing more than a sponge and ended up draining Ciara and dragging her down with her. I wont even go itno how the friendhsip ended but it showed yer wan up in her true colours and she truly made a how of herself. The problem is she hurt Ciara very badly during all of this and made truly inappropriate comments when Ciara lost her first baby.

Your 'friend' is nasty. It doesnt matter why but she is nasty. I would just let her off. She doesnt deserve you and will only drag you down. I cannot understand why people are so evil but there is definitely a huge element of jealousy there and thats not your problem.

Good luck

carolinespring

At this stage I think I am just venting, today I got a text from "friend"that was very bitchy and low. Taking a pop at my work. I am self-employed and like most places have felt the pinch this last year and have worked my ass off so as to not have to let anyone go and so far that has worked, it has been very hard work and stressful and my friend knew how hard I worked to not have to let staff go and how worried I was about it all.

anyway, this morning I got a text saying that she hoped all was well and that she was glad so&so had given me some buiness and that she had also heard that I had nicked someones business (so far from true its not even funny) but it looked like I was fighting a losing battle and I should just and sign on. She also had other personal stuff about a friend of mine on the text ad made out that the friend was talking about me not in a good way which I know is not true.


I have a pain in my chest now from pure rage. have not replyed to her and dont think I will. When I first got the text I was going to ring her and give out hell but I would only be letting myself down.

Why why why, weed to be such good friends

LegacyUser

carolinespring wrote: »

..............

..................... She also had other personal stuff about a friend of mine on the text ad made out that the friend was talking about me not in a good way which I know is not true.

....................

Call her bluff? Tell her you checked her information and found it was not true.

Then, cut her loose, you don't need baggage like that.

carolinespring

This whole thing is wrecking my head and my day. As I said in my opening post this whole thing kicked off when we came back from holidays and my mother in law was in hospital... but around that time people really started to notice that I had lost weight, around 3 stone so far and I was looking and feelng a lot better about myself. In the past my friend and I would start a diet every monday and it was over by lunch time until the following monday!!! When I really got into it this time she never said anything good or bad about it. When I said I had lost Xlb each week, she would say oh, right and that was it. I notice she is getting bigger as I am getting smaller. I just got to wondering if this could have anything to do with the change in her towards me. I know she was not happy with her weight as I was'nt with mine. Maybe she felt left out when I really got into the weight loss.
Maybe this added to all the baggage she has? Stray that broke the camels back and all...
I just feel so upset over her text this morning.

LegacyUser

carolinespring wrote: »

At this stage I think I am just venting, today I got a text from "friend"that was very bitchy and low. Taking a pop at my work. I am self-employed and like most places have felt the pinch this last year and have worked my ass off so as to not have to let anyone go and so far that has worked, it has been very hard work and stressful and my friend knew how hard I worked to not have to let staff go and how worried I was about it all.

anyway, this morning I got a text saying that she hoped all was well and that she was glad so&so had given me some buiness and that she had also heard that I had nicked someones business (so far from true its not even funny) but it looked like I was fighting a losing battle and I should just and sign on. She also had other personal stuff about a friend of mine on the text ad made out that the friend was talking about me not in a good way which I know is not true.


I have a pain in my chest now from pure rage. have not replyed to her and dont think I will. When I first got the text I was going to ring her and give out hell but I would only be letting myself down.

Why why why, weed to be such good friends

That is just disgraceful on her part. Your friendship is well and truly over now. She is obviously looking for a reaction with a message like that. The best thing you can do is not give her one. Simple reply with a cold message like 'I am no longer your friend so delete my number and don't bother contacting me in future.' That will sicken her more than anything. If she does send you another text say 'ok, as you didn't listen I'm blocking your number now' and then block here.