Best revenge stories

Trekker09

My mate and I brought a couple of girls to a remote pub for a bite to eat and a few drinks. We knew these 2 girls had just been using us in previous dates for free drinks & nights out and stringing us along. We ordered pre-meal cocktails, red & white wine etc. After we finished the meal, we had more drinks and put in on the bill. We both had to go to the toilet at the same time, crawled out the window, and jumped into a taxi that we had previously arranged, then went back to our local.

TanG411

I remember I was in Portugal for a holiday three years ago. I met a nice British couple who were actually quite rich. However they were terrible when buying drinks, they never offered a thing. Also they were pretty neglegent parents to their three children.

So I took something that was special to them. . .

the_dark_side

Larkin91 wrote: »

I remember I was in Portugal for a holiday three years ago. I met a nice couple who were actually quite rich. However they were terrible when buying drinks, they never offered a thing. Also they were pretty neglegent parents to their two children.

So I took something that was special to them. . .

May the devil use your backbone as a ladder when he's picking apples in the gardens of hell

Roadend

Larkin91 wrote: »

I remember I was in Portugal for a holiday three years ago. I met a nice couple who were actually quite rich. However they were terrible when buying drinks, they never offered a thing. Also they were pretty neglegent parents to their two children.

So I took something that was special to them. . .

Ya mate sorry about that, any chance I could have the dildo back though, the wife needs it for when I'm away on my business trips.

phasers

Larkin91 wrote: »

I remember I was in Portugal for a holiday three years ago. I met a nice couple who were actually quite rich. However they were terrible when buying drinks, they never offered a thing. Also they were pretty neglegent parents to their two children.

So I took something that was special to them. . .

Hm, that's like the Madeline McCann story. Isn't that strange?

Except they had 3 kids

RandolphEsq

I was annoyed by the all to frequent wind up carry on of my sister, to the point where I became obssessed with wiping the smug smirk off her face. The question which danced around in my mind however, was not how I would get her back, but when.
"Randolph, would you please fetch me a glass of water, let the tap run for a mo' before you pour it. Thanking you in advance" she called from her kitchen chair not even ten steps from the sink!
Argh! But it is when she shortens moment to mo' that annoys me; this is my chance for revenge. "Yes Penelope, I will bring it to you presently"
A dark cloud descended behind my eyes as I let the tap run for a moment. The glass filled up agressively with the cold water. I carried it over to the table where she was sitting, staring her down. As I reached the table, I paused for a moment. My hand began to shake and the water in the glass quaked. At this point she looked up from her work to see what the hold up was. "Nothing", my gaze said. My lips curved into a devious, victorious grin as I extended my arm to place the glass on the table . . . out of reach for her! "There you go" I screamed with a hysterical eruption of giggles and cackling. Walking out of the room, over the roar of my own victory laugh I heard her chair move as she had to stand up to get her glass of water. "Revenge is sweet", my final thought as I exited

allanb49

guy once sold me his pubes, so i killed his parents ground them up and fed them to him

muboop1

phasers wrote: »

Hm, that's like the Madeline McCann story. Isn't that strange?

Except they had 3 kids

fyp...
Now i feel dirty...

Trekker09

allanb49 wrote: »

guy once sold me his pubes, so i killed his parents ground them up and fed them to him

Did you buy them on Advert.ie perchance?

allanb49

Trekker09 wrote: »

Did you buy them on Advert.ie perchance?

Yeah, you get caught out too

AnonoBoy

I lived a good life.


/thread bitches. :cool:

Sangre

phasers wrote: »

Hm, that's like the Madeline McCann story. Isn't that strange?

Except they had 3 kids

I've highlighted the key word.

Dunder Mifflin

phasers wrote: »

Hm, that's like the Madeline McCann story. Isn't that strange?

Except they had 3 kids

I've highlighted the key word.

opinion guy

allanb49 wrote: »

guy once sold me his pubes, so i killed his parents ground them up and fed them to him

guys, we should never piss-off allanb49 again...

ball

Trekker09 wrote: »

My mate and I brought a couple of girls to a remote pub for a bite to eat and a few drinks. We knew these 2 girls had just been using us in previous dates for free drinks & nights out and stringing us along. We ordered pre-meal cocktails, red & white wine etc. After we finished the meal, we had more drinks and put in on the bill. We both had to go to the toilet at the same time, crawled out the window, and jumped into a taxi that we had previously arranged, then went back to our local.

That's a lethal story.

If I could thank it another 2 times, I would

The_Kew_Tour

Larkin91 wrote: »

I remember I was in Portugal for a holiday three years ago. I met a nice British couple who were actually quite rich. However they were terrible when buying drinks, they never offered a thing. Also they were pretty neglegent parents to their three children.

So I took something that was special to them. . .

christ i got a infraction for much less then this:eek:

Duggy747

A wierdo in my year had a sick fetish for pranking people, especially me.

One night he kept ringing my mobile and then my house phone so I dialed his number into the house phone and have it on redial. He rang my mobile, I answered to heavy breathing, hit redial on the house phone, heard his mobile ring in the background to which he said "Aw FÙCK!!" and he hung up.

I rang back, he answered all innocently and I coldly said down the phone "I'm coming to get you!"

Next day I saw him in town and promptly kicked the shìte out of him.

Not so much for me, but for all the other people he harrased too.

Biggins

I could tell of a good revenge story.
It involves getting back for something done to me father, the family being made a laughing stock, I took to drink,
Then there is also myself and the da who also with me trespassed where we shouldn't have went, bumped off a few people and is still trying to cope with the whole ruddy mess.

I could tell you that revenge story but hey, I'll be buggered if I'm changing me name back to George W Bush too!

ball

Duggy747 wrote: »

A wierdo in my year had a sick fetish for pranking people, especially me.

One night he kept ringing my mobile and then my house phone so I dialed his number into the house phone so to have it on redial. He rang my mobile, I answered to heavy breathing, hit redial on the house phone, heard his mobile ring in background to which he said "Aw FÙCK!!" and hung up.

I rang back, he answered and I coldly said down the phone "I'm coming to get you!"

Next day I saw him in town and promptly kicked the shìte out of him.

Not so much for me, but for all the other people he harrased too.

Wait, he was on the phone to you and you made his phone ring?
Did you have 2 numbers for him?

Dartz

Ah. I've done worse.

A classmate left me in the lurch for assignment work in Final Year. It was a 2-person group project, and I ended up doing the whole thing myself. Which really pissed me off, because I had to do twice the bloody work. Which really pissed me off because my FYP was due about a week afterwards, and it set me back.

"but I was working on my project," is the excuse I get back.

So was ****ing I! And I had to do more.

Anyway, I sit and stew on this for about a week... until the day before project reports are due....and I notice in the PC labs he's left his computer logged in and unattended. With his project report open on screen.

I 'accidentally' hard power-off the machine, hoping to cost him a few minutes work... a token gesture.

Turns out, he hadn't saved it to his profile, but to the local machine. When it reset... everything was erased.

Ooops.

So he has to start over again, writing the report almost from scratch. He was still there that evening when I left. He was still there in the morning.

The machine's power cycled automatically at about 2am, and he'd made the exact same mistake.

WeWillBeReborn

A mate of mine goes crazy over the simplest things. One time I stole one of his schoolbooks in revenge, he was still p1ssed off about it two weeks later. He was convinced someone else in his class stole it from his bag (I took it off his desk), so he locked it in a classroom at lunch time for a week

Another time I logged into his Bebo account (I knew his password), and sent an abusive message to a second account I made up, and then replied to his account saying I'd report him if he did it again. Months later he was still p1ssed off that (as he thought) someone hacked his account and sent abuse to a stranger

I can be cruel when I want to

Duggy747

ball wrote: »

Wait, he was on the phone to you and you made his phone ring?
Did you have 2 numbers for him?

He used to use his house phone as his base of operations cuz it was ex-directory, he ran up all sorts of crazy bills.

When I mean he had a sick fetish for pranking people, I MEAN sick fetish.

Pranking people at 5 in the morning on a school night.

I know a lad who was on holidays in the canarys and had a disagreement with the fella staying in the appartment beside him and his missus on the first night. It was over a comment the guy had made to my mates girlfriend. They subsequently made up as yer man said he was sorry or something.

Anyway, my mate is a bad cúnt and the afternoon he was going home he used the other couples bathroom and while he was in there put their toothbrushes up his arse and took photos of it with their camera !

minidazzler

Dartz wrote: »

The machine's power cycled automatically at about 2am, and he'd made the exact same mistake.

Some idiot's never learn....well done!

InKonspikuou2

Somebody splashed me with a puddle while they drove by when i was on my way to college. They done it on purpose and the passenger stuck his head out the window and laughed. I was waiting at the bus stop and they drove by again. So i threw my umbrella at the car. Smashed his window. Wasn't intending for that to happen. Also wasn't intending on missing college as i ran away. Serves him right for spalshing me at 8:00 am.

A mate of mine did this.

He was going out with this girl, they had been with each other for about a year, and he noticed that there was a bit of a cooling period going on in the relationship. Her and her best friend worked for the same company and her best friend was going out with a lad there. Anyway a friend of you mans had started working there and the four of them had started going for drinks and such the like after work and what not.

My mate was pretty certain that his girlfriend was going to dump him, he kinda had figured out that she must have been with this new guy, or wanted to be with him at least. So it came as no great surprise to him when she rings him one day on her lunch break from work. He could hear her voice echoing and knew her phone was on loudspeaker, so when she came out with the words "I'm breaking up with you" (followed by her friends giggling in the background). He reliased that her best friend and boyfriend and this new guy must all be standing around the phone listening to this thinking how funny and great it is, so he nonchalantly comes out with with the line:

"Thats ok, at least I got to fcuk you in the ass and you swallowed my cum afterwards"


What a legend.

Dartz

minidazzler wrote: »

Some idiot's never learn....well done!

Ah, but that's not the best part.

The report was due early in the morning... about 11am. And the deadline was absolute. Suffice to say, he didn't make it. And has to repeat the year and do another project. It's also ruined his degree quite a bit

I'm not sure if I should feel good about that.... because it's definitely a punishment in excess of the crime... and far in excess of what I intended.

However, it was his own bloody fault the second time.

Everyone but him knew the machines power cycled. Everyone but him also knew that if you saved to the local documents folder, it'd go away if the machine reset.

I do feel somewhat bad.

But at the same time, he really dropped me in the **** for an assignment and nearly ruined my own project by making me do so much work on it so... haha!

stovelid

Somebody threw a bottle out of window at me in near Summerhill (Dublin) once (saw the window being pulled down) so I waited a while and went back and put a brick through the window.

InKonspikuou2

stovelid wrote: »

Somebody threw a bottle out of window at me in near Summerhill (Dublin) once (saw the window being pulled down) so I waited a while and went back and put a brick through the window.

Ah a man after me own heart.

Numina

Once someone didn't return a pen he borrowed from me, so I murdered him.

bad2dabone

a friend in work had thrown wet tissue at me over the top of the toilet cubicle I was taking a dump in. So a few days later he left his mobile on his desk, I took it, went into his phone numbers, changed the number attached to the name of the girl he was seeing for about 6 months to my phone number, and when he got back to his desk I sent him a text telling him it wasnt working out and I had met someone else. He was devasted and rang "her", since I was in work I had my phone on silent so I just went outside and answered it, putting on a voice and pretending to be the new boyfriend. It worked for about 5 minutes till he recognised my voice

We used to do loads of pranks on each other, once I got a black marker and scribbled on the ear piece of his desk phone for ages. When he came back to his desk again I rang him for a chat, and when he hung up he had a black ear for the rest of the day.

He used to look at the keys while typing so I'ld do things like switch around the keys on his keyboard.

Actually when i look back on it I mostly just did **** to him.

I'm going to give him a call to apologise.

Numina

rarnes1 wrote: »

I know a lad who was on holidays in the canarys and had a disagreement with the fella staying in the appartment beside him and his missus on the first night. It was over a comment the guy had made to my mates girlfriend. They subsequently made up as yer man said he was sorry or something.

Anyway, my mate is a bad cúnt and the afternoon he was going home he used the other couples bathroom and while he was in there put their toothbrushes up his arse and took photos of it with their camera !

That never happened.

http://www.snopes.com/racial/crime/toothbrush.asp

stovelid

I was set up and sacked by two people in my company as part of a social experiment conducted for their own amusement so I bankrupted them by tricking them into putting all their savings into orange juice futures. One of the bastards actually still has the cheek to be still posting in this thread after what he did to me.

El Siglo

stovelid wrote: »

I was set up and sacked by two people in my company as part of a social experiment conducted for their own amusement so I bankrupted them by tricking them into putting all their savings into orange juice futures. One of the bastards actually still has the cheek to be still posting in this thread after what he did to me.

Sounds familiar...

stovelid

El Siglo wrote: »

Sounds familiar...

Well that's me busted.

cock robin

Knew a dude way back who ended up in a flat in Drumcondra with 2 wimmin. When he was inside they offered him a drink and the next thing he remembers is waking up in the Mater hosp. They had spiked his drink and left him in the street. However while he slept they shaved him from head to toe. Not a blade of hair did they leave on his body and Im talking 20 odd years ago. In the days before mach3 turbos and lubricants. His body was covered in shaving cuts. That part of the story I can vouch for the revenge part is second hand info. He told me that he found out where this chick actually lived andbroke into her house. He turned the oven on high took a gigantic sh1te and put it in the oven to bake and then left. I hope he actually did do this cause I seen him the day he was released from hosp and he was in agony.

Bajingo

cock robin wrote: »

Knew a dude way back who ended up in a flat in Drumcondra with 2 wimmin. When he was inside they offered him a drink and the next thing he remembers is waking up in the Mater hosp. They had spiked his drink and left him in the street. However while he slept they shaved him from head to toe. Not a blade of hair did they leave on his body and Im talking 20 odd years ago. In the days before mach3 turbos and lubricants. His body was covered in shaving cuts. That part of the story I can vouch for the revenge part is second hand info. He told me that he found out where this chick actually lived andbroke into her house. He turned the oven on high took a gigantic sh1te and put it in the oven to bake and then left. I hope he actually did do this cause I seen him the day he was released from hosp and he was in agony.

Fair balls to him for breaking in and ****ting in their oven..but it doesnt sound like he got even with them I mean they put him in hospital and all he did was poo in their oven!

Trekker09

I am actually planning a revenge for the fcuker who got me made redundant last week. I'll post the results in a few weeks, but beleive me, it'll be worth waiting for

minidazzler

Bajingo wrote: »

Fair balls to him for breaking in and ****ting in their oven..but it doesnt sound like he got even with them I mean they put him in hospital and all he did was poo in their oven!

Do you know how long hot oven poo smell would stick around???

A LONG time!

Midnight_EG

minidazzler wrote: »

Do you know how long hot oven poo smell would stick around???

A LONG time!

Tell your mam you're making shepherds pie and try it :pac:

Bajingo

minidazzler wrote: »

Do you know how long hot oven poo smell would stick around???

A LONG time!

No not really to be honest..but they cut him up and put him in hospital..im more impressed that he went ahead with the break in!

RMD

When I was 16 and in the Gaeltacht I was pretty much in with this stunning looking girl there until this guy from cork who I hated from the start decided to **** things up for me as I was the one "leading the race for her".

After 2 weeks of not touching myself, I released an unholy amount of semen into his Brylcream which he then plastered himself (as most country folk seem to do) in for the last night disco. Got the girl in the end and his hair was covered in cum, success for me.

Bizzi Lizzy

cock robin wrote: »

Knew a dude way back who ended up in a flat in Drumcondra with 2 wimmin. When he was inside they offered him a drink and the next thing he remembers is waking up in the Mater hosp. They had spiked his drink and left him in the street. However while he slept they shaved him from head to toe. Not a blade of hair did they leave on his body and Im talking 20 odd years ago. In the days before mach3 turbos and lubricants. His body was covered in shaving cuts. That part of the story I can vouch for the revenge part is second hand info. He told me that he found out where this chick actually lived andbroke into her house. He turned the oven on high took a gigantic sh1te and put it in the oven to bake and then left. I hope he actually did do this cause I seen him the day he was released from hosp and he was in agony.

Does anyone in this story go by the name "Paul" ????

artanevilla

Bizzi Lizzy wrote: »

Does anyone in this story go by the name "Paul" ????

Yeah, one of the wimmin.

minidazzler

RMD wrote: »

When I was 16 and in the Gaeltacht I was pretty much in with this stunning looking girl there until this guy from cork who I hated from the start decided to **** things up for me as I was the one "leading the race for her".

After 2 weeks of not touching myself, I released an unholy amount of semen into his Brylcream which he then plastered himself (as most country folk seem to do) in for the last night disco. Got the girl in the end and his hair was covered in cum, success for me.

Cape Clear???

What year????

You bastard!! If that was you!! :mad:

RMD

minidazzler wrote: »

Cape Clear???

What year????

You bastard!! If that was you!! :mad:

Uisce, it's an age old gaeltacht trick, the ol' cum in the Bryclream.

Trekker09

RMD wrote: »

When I was 16 and in the Gaeltacht I was pretty much in with this stunning looking girl there until this guy from cork who I hated from the start decided to **** things up for me as I was the one "leading the race for her".

After 2 weeks of not touching myself, I released an unholy amount of semen into his Brylcream which he then plastered himself (as most country folk seem to do) in for the last night disco. Got the girl in the end and his hair was covered in cum, success for me.

Her name wasn't Mary by any chance was it?

marko91

allanb49 wrote: »

guy once sold me his pubes, so i killed his parents ground them up and fed them to him

hahaha thats from southpark it was on tonight

Borneo Fnctn

A good mate of mine got a bit out of line in the school yard one day. He soaked another friend with a bottle of water. It was unprovoked and really out of character. The victim was absolutely seething. I helped him plan revenge. We agreed we would wait until it was long forgotten about.

A few weeks later we went to easons and bought a big fuck-off tub of glitter. So the guy goes off to the canteen to get a bar or something and leaves his school bag behind him. We take his bag and dump every speck of glitter into his bag. We took our time and spilled it between the pages of his books, in his pencil case and all over his jumper. The funny thing about glitter is that it gets everywhere and is near impossible to get rid of. He was walking around with glitter on his hands, face and in his hair for the rest of the day. His bag and his books had sparkly bits on them for the rest of the year.

Trekker09

His name wasn't Gary was it?

Numina

marko91 wrote: »

hahaha thats from southpark it was on tonight

We desperately need a thumbs down function.