The Art of the Sandwich

Long Onion

I take a good 20 minutes to make a sandwich. The Mayonnaise/Relish (butter is not for sanwiches - only for toast) has to be spread evenly and reach right into the corners of the bread (not just in a circle in the middle of the slice).

The spread also has to be put on both slices in equal proportions and the meat has to be the first thing to be placed on the bread - this stops the tomatoe making the bread go soggy. After this, I put in whatever fillins I feel like but the cheese has to be last.

So, am I anal or insane? Probably yes but the thing is, I can taste the difference when the sandwich isn't made this way. If the spread isn't put right into the corners or spread evenly on both slices, it just isn't cricket.

All of this has led me to believe that there really is an Art to a good sandwich. Would you agree, or are there other inanne routines that you have whem making light snacks that are the difference between 'meh' and 'yeah'????

**Timbuk2**

Crisp sandwiches are the sex.

Rabies

Tayto cheese and onion. Big thick fresh bread and butter. With a cold can of coke

Oliver1985

That tick irish pride bread butter dubliner Red cheder, dunnes chicken tika pieces and king cheese and onion toasted hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Mackleton

I am a bit of a sandwich nut as well, things just taste better in a sandwich.

My personal favorites are: chicken breast with lettuce, tomato and cheese covered in a mayo and wholegrain mustard mix. Yum

Stuffing and Turkey with a little cheese in Irish Pride wholegrain with butter and mayo. Nom Nom :pac:

Podge2k7

Throw a slice of ham in between two slices of fresh dry bread does me tbh.

gypsygirl

Sandwiches or rolls with soup HAVE to have real butter, :D. I hate margarine with a passion, and the corners have to be buttered to, I get mad if I go to a deli for a roll/sandwich and they ask "do you want butter?" and then use marge, and then look confused when I say "excuse me, I asked for butter not margarine" Doh!!!!

bnt

Sounds to me like you can derive pleasure not only from the sandwich itself, but from the process of making it. Assembling the ingredients: the right breads, the creamy mayonnaise, the crisp, crunchy lettuce ... it's a food fetish, right? :cool:

bertie4evr

Long Onion wrote: »

The spread also has to be put on both slices in equal proportions and the meat has to be the first thing to be placed on the bread - this stops the tomatoe making the bread go soggy. After this, I put in whatever fillins I feel like but the cheese has to be last.

Dan Quayle?

pickarooney

Long Onion wrote: »

So, am I anal or insane?

You're insanal, and obviously not that hungry.

Arnold Layne

Rabies wrote: »

Tayto cheese and onion. Big thick fresh bread and butter. With a cold can of coke

I prefer Tayto Snax in a sandwich with lovely crust fresh bread and a load of butter. A cold can of Pepsi is a must for me.

barleybooley

I love sandwiches but really only if the Mammy makes them for me or I make them myself, don't particularly like buying sandwiches or in restaurants, they just shlop everything on, pile it high, slap a piece of bread on the top that mightn't even be the next slice in the loaf so they don't match up or they could even rotate the slice 90 degrees relative to the other slice, cut it up in an off centre way and throw it onto a plate. Where's the love I ask? That sandwich could have been something but the culinary overlords just wouldn't allow it It's quite sad really...

But yes, sandwiches are most awesome especially REALLY nice eggs mayonnaise on fresh white bread, yummers.

The Volt

Rabies wrote: »

Tayto cheese and onion. Big thick fresh bread and butter. With a cold can of coke

Slice of Dubliner's Cheese and you're in heaven.

Jako8

Long Onion wrote: »

anal

Hee hee...

User45701

a good sandwich?

1. If its sliced bread it needs to be toasted because hot or crispy bread tastes better

but op is right - butter needs to be spread evenly. then you need a layer of bacon on top of each piece of bread (8 pieces) 4 on each slice.

then 2 sausages cut in 1/2 - 2 facing up and 2 facing down to make it even. then if your into taco sauce or Mayo or whatever that goes on top of each of the 4 1/2 sausages because then it drips down in-between them and layers the top 4 bacon slices (but remember the bottom 4 bcon slices on each piece of bread is there and that stops the sauce getting to the bread and making it soggy)

G-Money

I came up with this one a few years ago. A good friend of mine said it's the nicest sandwich he's ever had in his life.

Take 1 slice of Brennans Wholegrain bread, add lettuce/mixed lettuce leaves, add a slice of turkey breast, put on some French's American Style mustard on the turkey. Put another slice of brennans wholegrain bread on top of that, add another slice of turkeybreast. Spread some more French's American style mustard on the slice of turkey. Then had about 3 slices of salami. Then get another slice of Brennan's wholegrain bread, get one of those Laughing Cow cheese triangles, spread it on the that slice of bread. Then put that on top. Cut in two and enjoy.

tman

I do love a good sandwich, but can rarely be bothered to put any effort into them...

Tuna, mayo and jalapenos between two thick slices of tiger bread - so good I nearly make a mess in my pants!

Zombienosh

Best sandwich ever....

Toasted banana and peanut butter sandwich.!

:P:p

Bonkers_xOx

I just shove whatever's in the fridge or press inbetween two slices.
It's all going to come out looking the same no matter what anyway.

Gaz

Take one ciabatta and slice in half , toast one half.

On other half spread ballymaloe relish, now add grated cheddar to this ... relish will keep it in place, add chopped up chicken breast and place under grill until cheese is melted.

On the other half that is now toasted add chilli mayo, lettuce and tomatoe.

Bring both halfs together for a taste of heaven !

Spastafarian

Long Onion wrote: »

I take a good 20 minutes to make a sandwich. The Mayonnaise/Relish (butter is not for sanwiches - only for toast) has to be spread evenly and reach right into the corners of the bread (not just in a circle in the middle of the slice).

20 minutes?? You must be the slowest butterer evar! Or are you just doing it Tai Chi style like in those Uncle Ben's ads?

My name is URL

Degsy will shit himself when he reads this bread

Pygmalion

I go for a simple sandwich, none of your fancy lettuce or anything.

Two slices of ham (has to be two unless the ham is thick enough), a slice of chicken, a generous amount of grated cheese (sliced cheddar will do in a pinch, easy singles are ok but only if really stuck and never put mayo with them) and tons of mayo.
Toasted of course so the ham and chicken gets lovely and warm and the cheese melts into the mayo.

I agree with no butter on sandwiches except for crisp sandwiches where it's a must (far too dry otherwise), and a slice of red cheddar over some cheese and onion crisps makes it just perfect.

Liam Byrne

Spastafarian wrote: »

20 minutes?? You must be the slowest butterer

He's not even using butter, so how can he be a "butterer" ?

I'm with gypsygal; there's nothing worse than someone offering butter and then not giving it.......why offer if they don't have it ?

Butter is butter; and no matter what stupid half-pun words that they stick in front of it (I'm almost tempted to put some redone boxes with labels of "I'd much prefer to have...." and "I can't stand spreads that aren't..." and see if people would still buy them!).

Butter and margarine are NOT interchangeable!!!

Oh - and off-topic, but the yank idiots that try to imply that "splenda" and sugar are interchangeable ? F**k off!!!! If I want your gunk I'll ask for it, so if I ask for sugar don't have your ditsy brain-dead waitress being ignorant and wrong and contradict me.

Spastafarian

Liam Byrne wrote: »

He's not even using butter, so how can he be a "butterer" ?

I was referring to the action of buttering.

Liam Byrne

Spastafarian wrote: »

I was referring to the action of buttering.

Which he's not doing! Because he's not using butter!!!!

Painting requires paint
Mowing requires a mower
Brushing requires a brush
etc....

Spastafarian

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Which he's not doing! Because he's not using butter!!!!

Painting requires paint
Mowing requires a mower
Brushing requires a brush
etc....

You can butter on anything as long as it has the right viscosity. Mayonnaising is definitely not a word.

Also, you can paint butter on to a wall as long as you use a paintbrush. If you are spreading mayonnaise on bread, with a butterknife, you are buttering.

Liam Byrne

Spastafarian wrote: »

You can butter on anything as long as it has the right viscosity. Mayonnaising is definitely not a word.

Also, you can paint butter on to a wall as long as you use a paintbrush. If you are spreading mayonnaise on bread, with a butterknife, you are buttering.

You can spread anything. Viscosity has nothing to do with it, considering loads of people have buttered stuff with butter that's too hard or too soft.

The word "butter" is being abused enough without adding to it!

Spastafarian

The best sandwich ever has gotta be a BLT with some mayo mixed with a little dijon buttered on.

PFJSplitter

Thanks so much for Deli and Sub shops. As much as I love a home made sandwich, I fill up nibbling on the ingredients...:rolleyes:

banshee_bones

Gotta love the irish pride Big Toast bread - when its really fresh- butter and some good potato slices from your local nearest hot food counter...nyom....

Pygmalion

Liam Byrne wrote: »

You can spread anything.

How do you spread a brick?

minidazzler

banshee_bones wrote: »

Gotta love the irish pride Big Toast bread - when its really fresh- butter and some good potato slices from your local nearest hot food counter...nyom....

I love that bread!!! It feels so good when fresh!!! And it's HUGE!!! Best Bread EVER!

banshee_bones

minidazzler wrote: »

I love that bread!!! It feels so good when fresh!!! And it's HUGE!!! Best Bread EVER!

I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it just perfect for sandwiches! :D

My name is URL

Pygmalion wrote: »

How do you spread a brick?

Offer her cake?

Degag

**Timbuk2** wrote: »

Crisp sandwiches with ketchup are the sex.

Yup it really is.... i also spread ketchup on the top of of the sandwich so that it kinda soaks into it.... You should try it!

Kur4mA

A few sambos consisting of king cheese and onion crisps + easysingles cheese slices on Irish Pride wholemeal bread along with a cuppa strong tea + bottle of lucozade sorted my hangover out this morning.

Legend.

Degsy

I hate people who eat sandwiches..especially people who bring them into work and sit there miserably chomping away,not enjoying it at all..dont get me started on the bastards who buy sandwiches in spar and centra.."can i have a bit of sweetcorn..and a bit of pickle..and a bit of onion..and some chedder..and a little bit of jalapeno..oh and can you cut it for me.."..the scum of the earth.

Little Acorn

My favourite sandwiches are
.tuna mayonnaise,with onion sweetcorn and grated cheese(sometimes add abit of tomato)
.egg mayo,with very chunky egg pieces,a little onion/scallion,and LOTS of mayo.
.chicken,bacon,sweetcorn and mayonnaise
.chicken with tikka flavoured mayonnaise,lettuce and grated cheese.

and one of my new faves is:

Hovis granary bread with butter and thick slice of roast beef with salt. Yum!

I agree that the spread should be spread into all corners,hate finding a dry patch. :-)

Pygmalion

kyub wrote: »

A few sambos consisting of king cheese and onion crisps + easysingles cheese slices on Irish Pride wholemeal bread

easysingles on a Crisp sandwich.
Interesting...
May try it later, went out and bought a 12pack of Tayto Cheese and Onion after seeing this thread.

BrokenArrows

I used to work in a hotel bar in galway. They had a full restaurant but also had a small deli counter behind the bar which we would make sandwiches to be served with soup for the customers.

Anyway instead of availing of the dinner in the restaurant that came with the job i would make myself the king of sandwiches.

Step 1: 3 Slices of toast each buttered with one buttered on both sides.
Step 2: Some sliced ham. Not the processed stuff. Actual ham cut off the bone, sliced beef also freshly cooked, chicken and turkey. Yes both and also a rasher.
Step 3: Place these ingredients with the turkey and beef on one side, chicken and ham on the other.
Step 4: Grated cheese on both sides of the sandwich.
Step 5: Place both sides under the grill to melt the cheese and heat the ingredients.
Step 6: Add 3rd slice of bread and rasher in between both sides and combine.
Step 7: Possibly the most important step. Slice diagonally into 4 pieces.
Step 8: Place on plate and a bowl of potato and leak soup.

One word: AWESOME!!

Dont work there any more

biko

Brown bap
Chili mayo
Ham
Pineapple
Red onions
Egg
Slice of swiss cheese
Toasted
Yum

candy-gal1

Waffle sandwiches with brown sauce!! yummy yummy in my tummy!

Degsy

I do a mean knuckle sandwich!

Dudess

I was looking forward to Degsy finding this thread... :pac:

Seriously Degz, how can you not love sandwiches?

banshee_bones

Mmm Im getting really hungry reading this thread

*Nyom.....



/leaves to buy bread and all kinds of sandwich fillers!!!!!!!!!! :pac:

Alice1

Brussels liver pate spread thickly on Kingsmill bread and Tayto cheese and onion crisps. Yayyyy

Long Onion

Alice1 wrote: »

Brussels liver pate

Ooooooooh, la di fookin da!;)

Alice1

Long Onion wrote: »

Ooooooooh, la di fookin da!;)

Ah I'm not the least la di da Longy - I just happen to loooove Brussels pate! LOL

banshee_bones

Ok I have returned from the shop!!

Which should I have....
A crisp sandwich (bearing in mind iv NEVER ever had oen before)

or old faithful

Ham and Cheese....?????


Obviously accompanied by a strong cup of awesome English Breakfast Tea

Little Acorn

banshee_bones wrote: »

Ok I have returned from the shop!!

Which should I have....
A crisp sandwich (bearing in mind iv NEVER ever had oen before)

or old faithful

Ham and Cheese....?????


Obviously accompanied by a strong cup of awesome English Breakfast Tea

Cheese and onion crisp sandwich.