Will somebody rescue me please?

grenache

Its 5.17 am here in Cork. I'm lying in bed in my house on the western road, listening to the sound of water gushing in the front door. There'd be nearly 2 feet of it down there by now i'd imagine. My car has started to float around outside. Who's gonna come for me? Where are you Mr Citizen!!

Smyth

Nice knowing you OP.
May you rest in peace.

sneakerfreak

il save u but i want a blowjob in return

Mr Benevolent

Are you serious OP? If so I'd go and turn off the power.

4zn76tysfajdxp

grenache wrote: »

Its 5.17 am here in Cork. I'm lying in bed in my house on the western road, listening to the sound of water gushing in the front door. There'd be nearly 2 feet of it down there by now i'd imagine. My car has started to float around outside. Who's gonna come for me?

Coast guard?

sneakerfreak

swim for it but dont forget Wilson!

"WIIIILLLSOOOOOOOOOON!"

TomCo

Climb on to the roof.

I hope you have wi-fi.

marcsignal

I have some stuff up on ebay you might like ?

grenache

Meh, the wi-fi service is **** here. And my blow jobs aren't the best either Its my car i'm worried about, she aint fully comp. And i've work in Limerick in the morn If Terry was here he'd save me. WHERE THE FCUK IS THE CITIZEN WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!!

teddy_303

Must be a busy night for him I'd say... no such thing as a bad blow job either OP. :pac:

If your house is flooding, I don't think anyone would complain if you took the day off, what sort of car is it.. A Morris Marina, if so it'll float OK..

grenache

Its a 98 Almera! Not worth a whole lot financially, but its worth a lot to me. When i'm car-less what am i gonna pull the chicks with? My personality?!

kraggy

teddy_303 wrote: »

Must be a busy night for him I'd say... no such thing as a bad blow job either OP. :pac:

There is. Trust me.

Was with a girl recently and she was like a Dyson on acid.

Not good.

grenache

kraggy wrote: »

There is. Trust me.

Was with a girl recently and she was like a Dyson on acid.

Not good.

Ouch!

thomond2006

grenache wrote: »

Its 5.17 am here in Cork. I'm lying in bed in my house on the western road, listening to the sound of water gushing in the front door. There'd be nearly 2 feet of it down there by now i'd imagine. My car has started to float around outside. Who's gonna come for me? Where are you Mr Citizen!!

I lol'd.

Sleipnir

sneakerfreak wrote: »

swim for it but dont forget Wilson!

"WIIIILLLSOOOOOOOOOON!"

Don't worry, I have Wilson and he is safe.
OP, go in peace. I'll raise him as my own.

http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/3177/wilsonf.jpg

sunnyside

Confab wrote: »

Are you serious OP? If so I'd go and turn off the power.

He's serious allright. UCC is closed today due to flooding. Lots of the city centre is under water this morning.

Hope you're ok grenache. It's scary.

grenache

I'm fine sunnyside, thank you for asking. Not so sure about my car though. For now i think i'll just get some kip.

phill106

grenache wrote: »

I'm fine sunnyside, thank you for asking. Not so sure about my car though. For now i think i'll just get some kip.

ya, i would say the engine is flooded....



/gets coat

dr.bollocko

Why would you park your car in a place where it was likely to get all flooded to hell? As for the house, it's ruined now. Just set the roof on fire and take some bets on whether the fire will destroy it first or the water. Then put all the money you won on charity scratch cards. Use the proceeds of that to buy another house and a crane. Use the crane to park your almera in the attic of the new house.

sunnyside

grenache wrote: »

I'm fine sunnyside, thank you for asking. Not so sure about my car though. For now i think i'll just get some kip.

If there is further risk of flooding early next week move the car out of there (provided it's still working). Park it in a housing estate in Wilton, Bishopstown or Togher for a few days.

Cabaal

OP turn off the powerr

stovelid

It is God's punishment of Cork

Submit.

CreepingDeath

If your car is floating, then quickly collect 2 of each animal you can find and place them in the car.

cosmic

Ah if only Cork had a Superdome...

meditraitor

grenache wrote: »

Meh, the wi-fi service is **** here. And my blow jobs aren't the best either Its my car i'm worried about, she aint fully comp. And i've work in Limerick in the morn If Terry was here he'd save me. WHERE THE FCUK IS THE CITIZEN WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!!

Jesus, thats awefull....... the flood you could deal with but having to work in Limerick.

Wazdakka

I'll Save you Op..

Quick..
To the Hindenpeter

Claasman

I thought cork floats?

oeb

stovelid wrote: »

It is God's punishment of Cork

Submit.

They have to lose the football AND be drowned? Poor feckers.

SEPT 23 1989

plague of locusts next

Fratton Fred

Rush out, get a big boat, with about 12 decks, then fill it full of fish. Not just any fish mind, they have to be Carp.

You will them have your very own multi storey Carp-Ark.

Abi

I live on a big hill. Lol @ you!


In other news: Lidl have a special on dinghys*
































*Prolly.

funk-you

Fratton Fred wrote: »

Rush out, get a big boat, with about 12 decks, then fill it full of fish. Not just any fish mind, they have to be Carp.

You will them have your very own multi storey Carp-Ark.

I think your coat is over there

---

>

-Funk

Wazdakka

Fratton Fred wrote: »

Rush out, get a big boat, with about 12 decks, then fill it full of fish. Not just any fish mind, they have to be Carp.

You will them have your very own multi storey Carp-Ark.

I don't know you..
I have probably never met you,
I probably never will..
But because of that post, I think that I hate you..

That is without doubt the worst joke ever told on the internet..
And I actually laughed...

Fratton Fred

Wazdakka wrote: »

I don't know you..
I have probably never met you,
I probably never will..
But because of that post, I think that I hate you..

That is without doubt the worst joke ever told on the internet..
And I actually laughed...

No it's not this one is

Two goldfish in a tank, one turns to the other and says.....




"you drive, I'll fire the gun"

G_R

Fratton Fred wrote: »

Rush out, get a big boat, with about 12 decks, then fill it full of fish. Not just any fish mind, they have to be Carp.

You will them have your very own multi storey Carp-Ark.

The door is that way ---->.
Leave and dont come back for a very long time.

SoWatchaWant

grenache wrote: »

Its 5.17 am here in Cork. I'm lying in bed in my house on the western road, listening to the sound of water gushing in the front door. There'd be nearly 2 feet of it down there by now i'd imagine. My car has started to float around outside. Who's gonna come for me? Where are you Mr Citizen!!

Citizen can't be arsed saving you, he's too busy complaining about knackers on the bus.

sir snackbox

Fratton Fred wrote: »

Rush out, get a big boat, with about 12 decks, then fill it full of fish. Not just any fish mind, they have to be Carp.

You will them have your very own multi storey Carp-Ark.

i laughed.........


im not proud of it ........

but i laughed

:P

Ross_Mahon

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055604727&page=3

I'm not falling for this one again...Its another trap!

smk89

Go Go Gadget cardon dioxideabsorber!

Well thats global warming taken care of. It'll still be a few decades before the flooding stops. Get some paper towels

crossmolinalad

smk89 wrote: »

Go Go Gadget cardon dioxideabsorber!

Well thats global warming taken care of. It'll still be a few decades before the flooding stops. Get some paper towels

bounty is the best they said on the commercials

stovelid

Looks bad..

http://twitpic.com/q7u4v

One of the comments claims that there is no sewage treatment and that it all goes straight into the river...

Dudess

And it's gonna be really bad again for the weekend...

Thought I'd gotten away with it living on a hill, and was feeling quite smug about it, but there is a danger of contaminated water now because of the water treatment works being hit, and the list being circulated of potential places with dodgy water has my street at the very top...

dr.bollocko

Dudess wrote: »

And it's gonna be really bad again for the weekend...

Thought I'd gotten away with it living on a hill, and was feeling quite smug about it, but there is a danger of contaminated water now because of the water treatment works being hit, and the list being circulated of potential places with dodgy water has my street at the very top...

You have running water?
Bloody townies.
:pac:

minidazzler

Dudess wrote: »

And it's gonna be really bad again for the weekend...

Thought I'd gotten away with it living on a hill, and was feeling quite smug about it, but there is a danger of contaminated water now because of the water treatment works being hit, and the list being circulated of potential places with dodgy water has my street at the very top...

Screw living on a hill.

I am in Mahon, we have running, uncontaminated water and NO flooding.

If you mean top of the list I am thinking, then there is no chance of ye getting flooded anyway!!!

Aussie Sean

Its God punishing you all for inflicting whingebags Roy Keane and Stephen Ireland on us!!

Sean

congo_90

op. move wifi router upstairs. switch off electricity downstairs then switch off water mains usually under sink. your house has a tank in the attic which will be safe(ish) to drink provided a pidgeon or rat hasnt fallin in, died and being rotting for years in the very water you brush your teeth with every morning...

Mrmoe

OP can I have your car and laptop after you drown?

3hn2givr7mx1sc

Mrmoe wrote: »

OP can I have your car and laptop after you drown?

That floated away hours ago.

The Saint

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

plague of locusts next

Plague of lolcats??? OH NOEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek::eek::eek:

Ceiling Cat iz pizin on ur Korkz and watchin u drownz.....

Bonito

crossmolinalad wrote: »

bounty is the best they said on the commercials

bounty is now called plenty

and there sure is plenty of water

pun not intended :rolleyes: