Reasons for wanting / not wanting children.

Novella

So there's a thread in The Ladies Lounge about wanting or not wanting children and the reasons behind the choice. Whoever posted it preferred female opinions on the subject but I thought it'd be interesting to hear things from the point of view of the men too!

Do you have children, or do you want to have children? If so, why did you / do you want to?

Or, do you never want to have children? If so, why not?

Will

Woot, been dieing to post in that thread. Now we have our one

At this moment in time I wouldn't like to have a kid, mainly because I'm single, still youngish (23), not in a stable job and still live at home. It's a life changing event, and something ideally I'd like to plan for.

Once I'm in the position to be able to properly care for, give time to, provide a safe, sound environment for a kid and be the best father I can be I will think about it. Until then I'd ideally not like to be a father only because I want to be on top of things.

Weird thing is I can't see myself marrying, but that's a different story.

Fajitas!

I currently don't have any children, and don't want any children for at least the next 8 - 10 years. Reasons being, I've a lot to do before I can begin to settle down, nevermind comfortably affording to bring up a child, having a stable background, and time for the kid.

My priorities at the moment lie elsewhere. If any accidents were to happen at the moment, it'd put me under an enormous amount of stress, and I'd likely have to settle my goals much lower.

Why do I want a child? Well, it's quite a natural thing. Any friends of mine with kids enjoy bringing them up. I'd imagine I'd be a good father, and I'd imagine I'd be proud of my kid. I would like to have a 'family' when I'm getting on. I want to have a family to continue on after me.

Professey Chin

Ill have them eventually but not anytime soon.
23 at the moment and ive got a big ass planet to see and many experiences left to mark down

Dord

Same age as Will and Ultimate Chin and I don't have any children (that I know of! :eek: )
Not something I'm thinking about now but I would like to have some (way) down the line.

Morf

I wouldn't even consider it at the moment due to current circumstances but if i was in a long term relationship i would definitely reconsider, especially if it was a big priority for the other half.

Snowie

I want to be dad so i can teach my kids things like satisfaction and what a hard days work and where the reward really is. I want to be a dad cause i wanna teach them how to windsurf and what animal made that paw print and why you should play teams sports and that there is no real reason to be affraid of anything. and to see there smiles at there sucess.

I don't wanna be a dad because some times i feel il have to make ertain sacrfices i m not yet ready to make and id nee more years of gaining wise stuff.

But then again i do want to be a dad because i want to teach the my grommets all the things that I was taught and genrally more then anything I get to play with Tonka Toys again oh and how to draw grafiitt and pass on all the wonderfull music i had and much more...

Its a no brainer.....

Otis Driftwood

Definitly want to have kids at some stage.It would have to be in the right curcumstances,ie,LTR/wife,stable job,nice home etc.

No real reason why I want them,I just know that I do.
Kids are great.

Alun

Havn't got any kids, and seeing as I'm approaching 53 and the missus 48, I don't foresee that changing very much in the near future. Neither my wife or I have ever had any paternal/maternal longings and we made the decision not to have any before we got married, so there's no conflict there either. I also think I'd make a lousy father, and anyway the idea of being 100% responsible for another human being's life scares the **** out of me to be honest.

Will

general question to just throw out there'

if you got a girl pregnant would you hang about or leg it?

Fajitas!

Fajitas! wrote: »

I currently don't have any children, and don't want any children for at least the next 8 - 10 years.

Forgive the intrusive nature of my question.
But what age would you be in 10 years time?

Fajitas!

No problem MB.

I'll be 33.

general question to just throw out there'

if you got a girl pregnant would you hang about or leg it?

I'd stay. I don't think there's a second thought about it - I wouldn't be over the moon about it, but that's not the fault of the kid, and tbh, at that stage, there's no point in taking it on anyone involved.

But to bring this to a slightly more controversial level, if the big A word was brought up, I'd go with it. Without a doubt.

Novella

Fajitas! wrote: »

I'd stay. I don't think there's a second thought about it - I wouldn't be over the moon about it, but that's not the fault of the kid, and tbh, at that stage, there's no point in taking it on anyone involved.

But to bring this to a slightly more controversial level, if the big A word was brought up, I'd go with it. Without a doubt.

You'd want the big, bad A for certain? I mean, is it hard to know what you'd do now, considering you are not in the situation or are you 100% sure that is what you'd want?

Fajitas!

Well, considering the implications it would have on my life, if it were to happen at the moment, yes.

At the moment, I'm travelling constantly. I'm freelancing, so as much as I can earn good money in a short amount of time, I can't say exactly how much I'll have. I can live on beans & toast one week, or on the finest of foods for a month, depending on work. I could find out I've work in Ireland tomorrow, and have to hit the road. That's no environment to bring up a child in, especially when one introduces the extra cost of (unexpected) medical bills. So I'd have to settle for a job that I wouldn't nessicarily want.

I'm also not in a stable relationship at the moment. That's something I'd rather not bring a child up in if at all possible.

I'm not saying it for purely selfish reasons, I just think it'd be best for all involved.

Krieg

23 and I dont want kids, ever.

- My siblings have had kids of their own so I dont feel compelled to carry on the family genes / make mammy & daddy happy.

- Crying children make me angry to the point of causing harm if I have no way to escape. I refer more to punching walls rather than beating the missus around or possibly throwing the child. Mentally I cannot tolerate crying children.

- I dont think id make a good father. Been said already. I have enough trouble trying to interact with people my own age, but I guess every expecting father has the thought of "Christ im going to bollox this up!".

- I dont like this one but - When you have kids its like your life ends. Not only do you have to put up with a 40-50 p/w career, but you get home and its more work.

- I simply dont see myself gaining fulfillment from having kids

All of the above is subject to change over the next 10 years.
My opinion could drastically change, im still young.

Will wrote: »

general question to just throw out there'

if you got a girl pregnant would you hang about or leg it?

Can I pick the third option?

Will

It's a very tough one to call, if the relationship was going somewhere I would ideally like to keep the child. If things went títs up I think the decision is entirely up to the mother and would support her either way.

Snowie

Will wrote: »

It's a very tough one to call, if the relationship was going somewhere I would ideally like to keep the child. If things went títs up I think the decision is entirely up to the mother and would support her either way.

I know a girl that happened they lasted after the child was born 6 months if even the strain on a baby puts on a reletionship is monumentle, I can't even to begin what it would be like to be seeing or going out with a girl and for her to becaome pregenent, with in a short time. Its something that some guys go olh yeah i can take it, but reality is they havent grown up enough to be ready to be a dad and responcibilitys that go with. im not dircting this at you.

what Im trying to say is that you may well hve the best interests at heart but in that position there is such a fine line you have to take if its not handeled with kids gloves

Ultimitly it can lead to, two people hating each other, and court and the child being used as a bargining chip and an x partner who can sh!t stir all s/he want's.

I_am_Jebus

I am just 26, single and no kids to date. I have a full-time secure job and bought a house 18months ago. I suppose it's not really my own (banks own 110% of it - negative equity).

Given my circumstances I wouldn't want kids now. But if I was with the right person and was in a solid LTR then I would like kids for sure. I was kinda hoping to be settling down a bit in life by my late 20s but so far that's not working out. Having said that, I am not in a hurry or anything.

Kids are obviously a huge responsibilty but I would love the chance to care, uncondtionally love and support a human that I jointly created. I imagine when you look past all of the negative stuff, it must be a wonderful and proud feeling.

As regards getting someone unintentionally pregnant now, well, it's not likely at the moment, but if it happended, I would hang around and try my best to make this work. If the mother wanted an abortion I would probably go along with her choice/will. Although it's difficult to say for sure, having never been in that position.

Iron Hide

atm i don't want them, because of the fear i have of turning out to be like my own father...

Will

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

I know a girl that happened they lasted after the child was born 6 months if even the strain on a baby puts on a reletionship is monumentle, I can't even to begin what it would be like to be seeing or going out with a girl and for her to becaome pregenent, with in a short time. Its something that some guys go olh yeah i can take it, but reality is they havent grown up enough to be ready to be a dad and responcibilitys that go with. im not dircting this at you.

what Im trying to say is that you may well hve the best interests at heart but in that position there is such a fine line you have to take if its not handeled with kids gloves

Ultimitly it can lead to, two people hating each other, and court and the child being used as a bargining chip and an x partner who can sh!t stir all s/he want's.

I understand where you are coming from of course, and it's not an ideal world. Basically what i was trying to say if she wanted to keep the kid, cool, il do my best to work it out and be there for the kid and her if it works. If she opted for the abortion that's ok too.

It's such a complicated matter, damn you fajitas for throwing it into the mix

Novella

Will saying it's ultimately the mothers choice kinda got me thinking. How do you guys feel about that? Do you think it's unfair that your life can pretty much be changed by what the woman decides to do upon discovering that she is pregnant?

pikachucheeks

Will wrote: »

if you got a girl pregnant would you hang about or leg it?

I don't think anyone would openly admit they'd leg it, would they?

For one, they'd be slated for being such ... a jerk!

Fajitas!

Absolutely, but the decision is out of our hands and in their womb.

It's not a debate I'd ever look forward to.

Fajitas!

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I don't think anyone would openly admit they'd leg it, would they?

For one, they'd be slated for being such ... a jerk!

I know someone who did. He's a genuine bloke, a nice guy.

He paniced when it happened. It was completely unplanned, he didn't know what to do. I wouldn't have thought he'd have done a runner. Tbh, I wouldn't call him a jerk, I'd say he ****ed up (twice!). It's nothing to be proud of it, and he was incredibly ashamed of it.

I haven't spoken to him in a two years for geographical reasons, so I don't know what the current story is.

Will

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I don't think anyone would openly admit they'd leg it, would they?

For one, they'd be slated for being such ... a jerk!

If I genuinely felt I would leg it, i would say so on the thread here. I've always been pretty open here on boards. Yeah if a guy said he would leggit he would get slated, but i say fair play for being honest.

Novella wrote: »

Will saying it's ultimately the mothers choice kinda got me thinking. How do you guys feel about that? Do you think it's unfair that your life can pretty much be changed by what the woman decides to do upon discovering that she is pregnant?

It's not unfair, she is the one who is going to go through the pregnancy, see her body change and all going to plan, give birth, which is not very pleasant seemingly. Thats not including morning sickness, weight gain, check ups, worrying about the kid in the womb, cravings, post natal depression, the whole lot.

If she isn't ready for that I can understand.

pikachucheeks

Fajitas! wrote: »

I know someone who did. He's a genuine bloke, a nice guy.

It does happen.

I just meant that ... regarding Will's hypothetical question (would you leg it, if you got someone pregnant?), I'd be very surprised if men on Boards were willing to say "Yes, I would leg it" ... because I don't think other posters would take kindly to that.

Sure, it's good to be honest ... but admitting that you'd probably do a runner on someone, if you got them pregnant, would be opening a huuuuge tin of worms.

Novella

I dunno. I don't really think it's THAT awful. I mean, if a guy has taken the precautions not to get a woman pregnant and she then decides to keep the baby, why should he stick around? I sort of understand.

Fajitas!

Will wrote: »

If I genuinely felt I would leg it, i would say so on the thread here.

Ditto

It's not unfair, she is the one who is going to go through the pregnancy, see her body change and all going to plan, give birth, which is not very pleasant seemingly. Thats not including morning sickness, weight gain, check ups, worrying about the kid in the womb, cravings, post natal depression, the whole lot.

If she isn't ready for that I can understand.

Fair enough, and I know and accept it's a huge ordeal, but people get hung up on the 9 months of pregnancy and the recovery after it, rather than the upbringing of the kid, which both parents are (in an ideal world) involved in.

It's being ready for that, that I'd see as being more important, there's plenty of professionals there to do their best for your mind and body during and after.

/waits to get crucified.

pikachucheeks

Will wrote: »

Yeah if a guy said he would leggit he would get slated, but i say fair play for being honest.

Well, on the one hand there's "Fair play for being honest and for being brave enough to tell the truth" and on the other, there's ... "What sort of person are you, who at the thought of getting someone pregnant would instinctively think to run off on her?"

It's a very risky thing to admit to, IMO.

Snowie

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I don't think anyone would openly admit they'd leg it, would they?

For one, they'd be slated for being such ... a jerk!

well heres my atitude if your willing to have sex with out protectiion your willing to man up and be a dad if that happens ......
running away from your problem well that is just childish....
i think it boils down to not ready to be responcable for your actions which is a childish trait.

I would admit that if it happened to me it would cross my mind. But i belave in karma so its a flawed train of thaought.

Novella

Fajitas! wrote: »

Ditto


Fair enough, and I know and accept it's a huge ordeal, but people get hung up on the 9 months of pregnancy and the recovery after it, rather than the upbringing of the kid, which both parents are (in an ideal world) involved in.

It's being ready for that, that I'd see as being more important, there's plenty of professionals there to do their best for your mind and body during and after.

/waits to get crucified.

Totally agree. Pregnancy isn't really, "Oh no, I'm gonna get fat and be in pain for a few hours". It's, "Oh my god, I am going to have a child for the rest of my life". I don't think ending a pregnancy is fear of having a few stretch marks.

Will

16k post such a nerd

anywho, I also agree with you there fajitas 100% that the upbringing is exceedingly important. Usually though parenting is done by 2 people, the parents and if not you can always get help from a family member.

There is no one really there for mothers going through pregnancy to pass the torch, it's not like you can offload the bun in the oven to someone else for the evening. While there are support groups, significant others, family members, doctors and people to call. It's a fairly solitary thing in the sense that it is only the mother who physically feels the impact of being pregnant.

I do believe i've gone off on a tangent >.<

Fajitas!

I think though, you're only looking at the negative aspects of being pregnant. I don't think (in normal, planned, all going well situations) it's a case of being constantly in pain. While I'll never experience it myself, I can't imagine it would be the worst situation ever. I mean it's quite a natural process, and while morning sickness, depression and checkups are hardly a walk in the park, it must have it's upsides. Right? Anyone?

Actually, I don't know how to debate this.

/out

Novella

Upsides... Em, glowy skin!! :rolleyes: I honestly can't think of anything other than that but I'm sure there are. I'm sure some people have lovely, amazing pregnancies and are walking on air but personally, I haven't seen that side of it so I dunno.

I get what Will is saying, it's the woman who feels it all physically but I think that maybe a man might feel it more emotionally. A woman can be distracted by the physical ailments of pregnancy. A man must feel an enormous sense of pressure to be there to support a brand new family.

amacachi

I want kids at some point, just need a willing participant. (come ooon false doomsday!)

If the unexpected happened now I'm very anti-abortion. If it was up for referendum I'd vote to allow it (may as well keep the money in our economy as Britain's) but I'd never wish to be affected by it.

But hey, fairly sure it's all a long fuggin way off yet.

shellyboo

Novella wrote: »

I dunno. I don't really think it's THAT awful. I mean, if a guy has taken the precautions not to get a woman pregnant and she then decides to keep the baby, why should he stick around? I sort of understand.

I agree. It's such a complicated debate, tbh. But I think in cases where it's not really anyone's fault (as in, they took all necessary precautions and they still got pregnant) the guy has as much of a right to walk away as the woman has a right to decide to terminate.

I mean, if a woman can say "I don't want this child", why can't a guy?

I do think in cases like that though there should be some legal process to properly remove your rights to the kid. So that you can't come wandering back into its life in 5, 10 years' time looking for your access.

Khannie

Novella wrote: »

Will saying it's ultimately the mothers choice kinda got me thinking. How do you guys feel about that? Do you think it's unfair that your life can pretty much be changed by what the woman decides to do upon discovering that she is pregnant?

Yeah, I think that really sucks. I don't like the idea of abortion generally, but the thought that someone else could end my childs life and I'd have no say in the matter is a total killer. To be honest I was all "free choice" or what not until I actually had kids. Aside from actually having kids a couple of other things have affected how I feel over time....

As a teenager I had a scare before with a long term girlfriend. I didn't want a kid at the time and thought that it would ruin my life, still, when faced with the option I didn't want her to have an abortion (though if you'd asked me in advance I probably would have thought it the obvious choice).

A guy I know got a girl pregnant before (with twins). One night stand. She had an abortion. My wife and I offered to adopt the kids if she'd go to term but they weren't interested. Christ, even writing about it makes me upset.

edit: Ugh....I'm in a jocker now. I shouldn't read threads about abortion.

Khannie

Novella wrote: »

Upsides... Em, glowy skin!! :rolleyes: I honestly can't think of anything other than that but I'm sure there are. I'm sure some people have lovely, amazing pregnancies and are walking on air but personally, I haven't seen that side of it so I dunno.

Mostly I think pregnancy is probably sh1t for the lady. We all know the downsides and they are numerous. I think the amazing walking on air pregnancies are probably 5% if even that. There are a few upsides though. Carrying your child creates a very special bond. One that lasts a lifetime. Also, feeling him / her moving around inside you does the same. You're always conscious that you're creating a new life.

The thing that stuck out for me after the birth of our little girl was how much my wife missed having a baby in her belly. I thought it really frickin' weird at the time, but I suppose you get used to a little critter inside you reminding you 24/7 that they're there.

JFitzgerald

i don't think most men realise what they're in for when they have a child. some guys i know have expressed considerable dismay at how their lives and wives/girlfriends/whatever have changed with the arrival of a baby. man are always interested in the shag but for some guys i know, this has turned out to be a very expensive shag indeed as the girl has become pregnant as a result. A fair few of the blokes I know did not plan for children and their girlfriends/wives got pregnant 'by accident'. and quite a few of the married blokes I know don't seem to enjoy fatherhood very much at all.

i think men have a very blinkered view of relationships, marriage and fatherhood. i think a lot of men are led into relationships and marriage by their girlfriends or eventually decide to settle as all their friends have and they don't want to be the only single bloke left. I've seen plenty blokes reluctantly dragged down the aisle. i think men eventually just give up and realise that if they want to hold onto a woman they'll have to be willing to raise a child.of course there's the lure of sex on tap once men are in a relationship/marriage regardless of whether they really fancy the woman they're with or not. this, of course, changes drastically once a child arrives and the man is no longer number one. the new baby is now the main priority and i think a lot of men resent this.

my advice - always use a condom - i've seen loads of guys get caught out.

JohnK

JFitzgerald wrote: »

my advice - always use a condom - i've seen loads of guys get caught out.

While I'd certainly agree that people should use condoms, dont forget they aren't 100% effective so even using a condom is no guarantee you wont get "caught out". While the failure rate of 2% to 3% may sound small think of how many are used on any given day and that can translate into tens of thousands of potential pregnancies.

Keano

JFitzgerald wrote: »

i don't think most men realise what they're in for when they have a child. some guys i know have expressed considerable dismay at how their lives and wives/girlfriends/whatever have changed with the arrival of a baby. man are always interested in the shag but for some guys i know, this has turned out to be a very expensive shag indeed as the girl has become pregnant as a result. A fair few of the blokes I know did not plan for children and their girlfriends/wives got pregnant 'by accident'. and quite a few of the married blokes I know don't seem to enjoy fatherhood very much at all.

i think men have a very blinkered view of relationships, marriage and fatherhood. i think a lot of men are led into relationships and marriage by their girlfriends or eventually decide to settle as all their friends have and they don't want to be the only single bloke left. I've seen plenty blokes reluctantly dragged down the aisle. i think men eventually just give up and realise that if they want to hold onto a woman they'll have to be willing to raise a child.of course there's the lure of sex on tap once men are in a relationship/marriage regardless of whether they really fancy the woman they're with or not. this, of course, changes drastically once a child arrives and the man is no longer number one. the new baby is now the main priority and i think a lot of men resent this.

my advice - always use a condom - i've seen loads of guys get caught out.

Please do not include me in any of those categories. Yes there are men out there who want just a quick shag but they are also a lot of us who know are very well informed as to what having a child means.

I would like kids but obviously would like to be financially secure and have the proper environment in order to bring up kids.

eviltwin

JFitzgerald wrote: »

i don't think most men realise what they're in for when they have a child. some guys i know have expressed considerable dismay at how their lives and wives/girlfriends/whatever have changed with the arrival of a baby. man are always interested in the shag but for some guys i know, this has turned out to be a very expensive shag indeed as the girl has become pregnant as a result. A fair few of the blokes I know did not plan for children and their girlfriends/wives got pregnant 'by accident'. and quite a few of the married blokes I know don't seem to enjoy fatherhood very much at all.

i think men have a very blinkered view of relationships, marriage and fatherhood. i think a lot of men are led into relationships and marriage by their girlfriends or eventually decide to settle as all their friends have and they don't want to be the only single bloke left. I've seen plenty blokes reluctantly dragged down the aisle. i think men eventually just give up and realise that if they want to hold onto a woman they'll have to be willing to raise a child.of course there's the lure of sex on tap once men are in a relationship/marriage regardless of whether they really fancy the woman they're with or not. this, of course, changes drastically once a child arrives and the man is no longer number one. the new baby is now the main priority and i think a lot of men resent this.

my advice - always use a condom - i've seen loads of guys get caught out.

Is that not the same for blokes though?

I know when our daughter was born she became my husbands new number one priorty...I certainly dont feel sidelined in any way by her because of it though. I'm not jealous or feeling neglected

Granted a lot of parents both male and female can get totally wrapped up in their kids at the expense of their relationship, it happens all the time but if you make a point of having time out together without your children there is no reason why your relationship cant survive or indeed improve

Wibbs

Nope dont want them. Not now anyway and at 43 I would have expected any paternal feelings to have kicked off by now. Never really got that bit. When I have been madly in love and all that I have thought "well what if?" and still the answer was no thanks. Don't get me wrong I dont particularly dislike kids, but I can generally only take them in small doses. If I could go straight to being a grandparent...:D

LD 50

No thanks. Not now, not ever. Lets just say I have a strong dilike for babies/toddlers/small children. I cant see myself getting all paternal at any stage. And if it did happen, I'd definately consider the abortion route. I'm still young now, plenty of things I want to do, and even if I was to get them all done before I had a kid , I'd still feel tied down.

SprostonGreen

Dont want them. I wouldnt make a good father. I'm very self absorbed.

mp22

been a father for 20 years, god give me strength! small kids are much easier to deal with than teenagers and young adults:rolleyes:

Herbal Deity

Yeah, I probably will want them when I'm in my late 20s/30s.

In the case of an accidental pregnancy, I think a guy should be allowed decide whether or not to be involved in the child's life, and the girl should be allowed to decide whether or not to abort.

davmol

Late nights ........with them crying
Early mornings.....with them crying
Not being able to go out until i sort a babysitter
No holidays with the missus alone
No hoidays with the lads alone
sh1tty nappies
Expenses of having a baby
Potential loss/reduction of sex life with wife/GF
Hang over and early mornings...with them crying

Ill pass thanks...settle for a dog

foxyboxer

I never want to have kids. As a previous poster mentioned, the thought of being responsible for a child's life is a sobering thought.

I'm not sure, personally, that I would be cut out for the whole parenting thing. I'd be a barely there father but a great uncle to a kid.

I am 29 and single at present, so I don't see this happening any time soon.
Those in a relationship also need to be aware that when a woman has a child, then they (should!!) automatically become 100% devoted to the child as is natural. Some guys are offended by the lack of attention which can poison a relationship if this fact of nature is known. You've done you're bit, now wait until you're supposed to do your bit again :P

nkay1985

The post quoted below is one I posted in a thread in The Ladies' Lounge a while back where a girl was saying how it's ridiculous for someone to want kids young.

I'm a guy. I'm 24. I'm engaged a year and a half. We've been going out together eight years. We've lived together for three years. We bought our house almost a year ago. We have three dogs (currently five puppies too, with one of them going to be our fourth dog). We have a great relationship and are very happy.

We both went to college. She's been working for four years, me for two. During that time we've done anything we wanted to do.

So if we decided to have a baby in the morning what would we be missing out on? You suggest that 30 is your ideal age for having a baby. So if I were to spend the next six years going out every weekend and getting hammered, would I be "living my life"?

I hope to start a family in the next two or three years and having two kids by the time I'm 30 sounds pretty good to me. Then I'll only be mid-forties by the time they're off to college, fifty by the time they're gone for good. Where is any of this wrong?

These are still my feelings. The only thing I can see that most people do that I haven't is "go travelling". And I mean that in the sense of going off for a year with little cash and slumming it. That's something that has never interested me or my fiancee. I'd prefer to go see anywhere I want to see in a bit of comfort and I've certainly not starved myself of that, nor do I intend on doing so in the future.

I've always known I'd want kids. I only have one younger brother but have a masssive extended family and there were always young children in and around the place. I always loved it! In fact, when me and my fiancee were going out a while, I was the one who definitely wanted kids and she wasn't too sure! She's changed a lot since then and we're very much on the same page.

I always knew I was an exception but, judging by this thread, much more so than I thought! I'm surprised at the amount of guys saying they never want kids. I'd imagine it's a lot higher than the percentage of women who'd say the same, but maybe I'm wrong.

I'd like to have my kids when I'm young. I'd lilke to still be able to be as active with them when they're 13 and 14 as when they're born! I'd like to have as long with them as possible. I see how much my fiancee worries about losing her father because he was almost 50 when she was born. She's only 23 now.

My parents had me when they were 29 and 30 and my younger brother when they were 35 and 36 and they always said they couldn't believe the difference in their energy levels etc. I saw little things like my father not playing soccer with my younger brother as much as he had with us and thought I'd hate for that to happen to my children. So if I was to follow the modern trend and have my first at 32/33, I mightn't even be able to do that with my first, never mind any that come after!

I respect everyone's opinions. As long as they know their own mind, that''s good enough for me! But those are my thoughts and I'd say I'm in the severe minority these days!

congo_90

I'm 19.
That's my first reason right there for not having children. I'm waay too young to think of raising my army yet.
Sure have many more women to mount, places to see, parties to be had etc.
I Don't know a thing about children or babies and make no attempt to cover it when around em.
Financially too I wouldn't be able to support a child. I barely get by as is!
Maybe in the future. Say I dunno when I'm losing hair and the goods are starting to need a blue pill. Then I'll reconsider. Or 30. Which ever happens first.