So I've just realised I've forgotten the wifes birthday

Pacing Mule

which is tomorrow. No present bought, no card bought. Worse than that no present from our daughter bought either which makes for double the dose of disappointment / fury / rage and painful vengeance tomorrow morning. Stuck in house baby sitting and can't even sneak out to grab a card etc. I'm in the sh!t

/desperately searches for a miracle online service that can be ordered tonight that will be delivered tonight or very early in the morning and is not a hitman.

pebbles21

Order a pizza and put some candles on it!

Local-womanizer

Get mate to babysit for half hour, you run out buy a present, land back and enjoy the birthday sex that night.

If that cant be done I suggest you post here: http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055726079

pikachucheeks

Why not plan something for tomorrow night?

See if any restaurants will take a last minute booking etc, or make her a nice home cooked meal?

She doesn't have to know or be in any way aware you forgot her Birthday. If you act coy all day and pretend you've had this massive plan organised for months, she won't know the difference!

Nip out and get her a gift tomorrow at some stage ... during your lunch break or whenever you have time to spare!

jhegarty

Shops will be open tomorrow.

If your that desperate book a holiday online tonight.

WeWillBeReborn

Put a picture of yourself in an envelope. Give it to her and say something like

"You are so important to me, nothing else matters to me except you and our daughter. For my birthday, I don't want anything except you by my side. And if our love is as pure as I think it is, you will feel the same. Happy Birthday".

Your daughter can make her something out of stuff you have lying around in the kitchen

Might also want to warn your friend you might be staying over for a while in case it doesn't work

jumpguy

Buy her an email iTunes voucher that you can print off. Or any vouchers you can print off, for that matter, on the internet for any large clothes shop.

TheZohanS

Order her a dozen roses online.

Piriz

thats a monumental f*ck up man, call one of your mates to pick you up a card in a petrol station & tell your wife your taking her out to dinner somewhere fancy at the weekend...maybe you could make a card...write "did I make this card coz i forgot to buy you one?....you'll never know Happy Birthday!!" keep her on her toes!

stepbar

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

Stuck in house baby sitting and can't even sneak out to grab a card etc. I'm in the sh!t

Eh, how is this a problem? Is it such a big deal to bring the kid with you?

Mmcd

jumpguy wrote: »

Buy her an email iTunes voucher that you can print off. Or any vouchers you can print off, for that matter, on the internet for any large clothes shop.

Like this - problem solved!

stepbar

WeWillBeReborn wrote: »

"You are so important to me, nothing else matters to me except you and our daughter. For my birthday, I don't want anything except you by my side. And if our love is as pure as I think it is, you will feel the same. Happy Birthday".

O good jeasus, talk about guilt tripping :rolleyes:

January

Is there a Tesco near? A 24hr one? Pop the daughter in the car and go shopping for chocolates, flowers, and a digital camera or iPod.

That_Guy

Just take her out tomorrow evening for dinner.

In the meantime I suggest doing a Macgyver job on it.

stepbar

jumpguy wrote: »

Buy her an email iTunes voucher that you can print off. Or any vouchers you can print off, for that matter, on the internet for any large clothes shop.

Are you for real?

"Here Darling, I went to the trouble of buying you an iTunes voucher, here's the print out..... hope you enjoy it"

Lame :rolleyes:

dr.bollocko

You're in the shit man but you're nut sunk yet. You have 4 hours till midnight. Surprise her with champagne now. Then out to get flowers first thing. You're going to have to call in some serious favours to get a baby sitter. Then book a restaurant or book her in for a few sessions at a day spa. Massages and all that crap. Women love it.

meesa

Look on the positive side....at least you remembered you have a wife......tell her you think you might have a touch of Alzheimer`s....

Pacing Mule

stepbar wrote: »

Eh, how is this a problem? Is it such a big deal to bring the kid with you?

She's 3 and is in bed and I'm not going to wake her up and bring her out just to get out of something created from my own stupidity.

Local-womanizer

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

She's 3 and is in bed and I'm not going to wake her up and bring her out just to get out of something created from my own stupidity.

Shes in the sh1t too!She dident get her a present!

jumpguy

stepbar wrote: »

Are you for real?

"Here Darling, I went to the trouble of buying you an iTunes voucher, here's the print out..... hope you enjoy it"

Lame :rolleyes:

Shweeeeeet...

Better than nothing.

stepbar

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

She's 3 and is in bed and I'm not going to wake her up and bring her out just to get out of something created from my own stupidity.

She'll get over it.

That_Guy

The ideal present.

http://www.contactmusic.com/videos.nsf/stream/the-lonely-island-dick-in-a-box

Voltex

OMG OP...your gonna get big time!!

But..try tesco..not the poxy lil ones...but the whopper ones like Clarehall or Maynooth!

The same thing happened to me a few years ago...ended up buying a card for wife and a Filofax outa Clarehall at 11pm...which was bit of a gamble but worked well:cool:..but was a total fluke.

Have to admit now...I havent always got it right. Last Valentines I had my 2 YO son with me when i went to buy the card...he was acting up and causing bit of a scene in the shop...so wasnt paying much attention to what I was doing....I thought id picked up a Valentines card for a Mum ( from the kids)...when i got home and wrote it out and HANDED IT TO HER...it turned out to be a Mass Card for a Dead Mother!!!
Im still getting it in the neck over that...

K-Ren

Tell her real love is blind, sort of squint and grope her breasts.

phasers

Worst husband ever

Dig out all the 2008 calendars and change all phones and electronic devices to one year before, and you should buy yourself an extra day or two.

Pacing Mule

stepbar wrote: »

She'll get over it.

Won't have to

That_Guy

Voltex wrote: »

ended up buying a card for wife and a Filofax outa Clarehall at 11pm...which was bit of a gamble but worked well:cool:..but was a total fluke.

You're right. It was a freaking gamble.

CCCP^

This happened to me with an ex. Pretend you don't know it's her birthday. You will need to say "oh I just need to go to the shop and get some bacon*" and then make a mad dash for the nearest shop that is open and buy the most expensive thing, get womany stuff like flowers if possible etc etc, but when you get back, pretend like you STILL don't know it's her birthday, and somehow set it the goods in the bedroom or something at the end of the night, so it looks like you knew all along and it was all part of your plan. Good luck, hope it works, because it certainly didn't work out for me!


*or whatever, I dunno 7up or cheese strings

winston82

Get her a pair of socks & a dildo. If she doesn't like the socks tell her to go fcuk herself.

GLaDOS

Tell her you were diagnosed with a terminal illness and were too grief stricken to get a present but it turned out to just be bad gas.

MagicMarker

Send her an eCard, then go down on her WITHOUT expecting the same in return.

You're welcome.

GLaDOS

Dónal wrote: »

Dig out all the 2008 calendars and change all phones and electronic devices to one year before, and you should buy yourself an extra day or two.

Then he'll have forgotten last years birthday too!

kwalshe

people, focus! This man is in the ****. If u have a printer, find some sonnet or poetry from them web. Do it up nice in powerpoint with ur own touch and tomorrow date. And place it in a frame in the house, will buy you time to get some kudos gift tomorrow

Thought Bubble

Would ya like a wimmins P.O.V???

Given that there's no chance of gift giving at this late point, I'd give her the gift of time . . . as in for the next 24 hours you can do what you want with me (whereever she wants it ), be it doing chores you've put off for ages, or cooking her dinner (wouldn't be a bad idea anyways!), or some fun bedroom times for her. Jesus, anything! Foot rubs, back rubs, run her a bath with all her favourite smelly stuffs, with candles and a bottle of wine.

You could also look for those funny printable voucher things, you know,

'This coupon entitles you to one sexy strip tease'

'This coupon entitles you to one candlelight dinner without the kids'

Blah, blah, blah. Ye get the idea. Corny, I know! But funny and you could personalise it.

And it'll keep you in the good books until you get her 'REAL' present, which should be jewellery of some sort . And ye may get some action this evening instead of the cold shoulder!

Pygmalion

ScienceNerd wrote: »

Then he'll have forgotten last years birthday too!

Last year was a leap year so he has a day.

stovelid

Cut a piece of cardboard into 12 slips. Write something like this one each one:

Please grant bearer One Back Rub/Foot rub for 30 minutes on presentation of this voucher.

/It's optional to include restrictive, unreadable small-print on the back that voids said vouchers...

Voltex

Thought Bubble wrote: »

Would ya like a wimmins P.O.V???

Given that there's no chance of gift giving at this late point, I'd give her the gift of time . . . as in for the next 24 hours you can do what you want with me (whereever she wants it ), be it doing chores you've put off for ages, or cooking her dinner (wouldn't be a bad idea anyways!), or some fun bedroom times for her. Jesus, anything! Foot rubs, back rubs, run her a bath with all her favourite smelly stuffs, with candles and a bottle of wine.

You could also look for those funny printable voucher things, you know,

'This coupon entitles you to one sexy strip tease'

'This coupon entitles you to one candlelight dinner without the kids'

Blah, blah, blah. Ye get the idea. Corny, I know! But funny and you could personalise it.

And it'll keep you in the good books until you get her 'REAL' present, which should be jewellery of some sort . And ye may get some action this evening instead of the cold shoulder!

jesus thats good...all I managed was a filofax outta Tescos

Joey the lips

Dont know where you living but a lot of the tesco open 24 hours you can slip in and buy your wife a pair of slippers from the daughter. Tell your wife you need to collect hers it was only arriving in tomorrow.

Best of luck.

pebbles21

Can someone give me some advice? im bringing the bit on the side out for her birthday (its tommorow)and have to have her home by 12 cos her husbands minding her kid

Any nice quiet spots around Dublin where it would be safe to bang her without getting caught?;)

Pacing Mule

pebbles21 wrote: »

Can someone give me some advice? im bringing the bit on the side out for her birthday (its tommorow)and have to have her home by 12 cos her husbands minding her kid

Any nice quiet spots around Dublin where it would be safe to bang her without getting caught?;)

bring her home and bang her there - husband is heading for the dog house already and will be glad of the diversion.

Theta

Ohhhh you in trouble.

Otherwise find a good offo that delivers and order a nice bottle of vino and chocolates.

If you are in north dublin I know the number of one.

stepbar

pebbles21 wrote: »

Can someone give me some advice? im bringing the bit on the side out for her birthday (its tommorow)and have to have her home by 12 cos her husbands minding her kid

Any nice quiet spots around Dublin where it would be safe to bang her without getting caught?;)

Classy..........

9wetfckx43j5rg

Get on the phone tomorrow morning before's shes up and order a dozen roses to be delivered at lunch time. Then pop out and grab a present and card from the shops (if your in work do it on your lunch hour), something quick like jewelery.

If your at home together tomorrow, act like its a completely normal day. If she questions you about or brings up her birthday act like you forgot and apologize. Then she'll be dead surprised when flowers come and you can appear with the present and she'll be happy you remembered, feel bad about giving out to you and you can use the line "Of course I wouldn't forget your birthday" with her none the wiser.

soundsham

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

bring her home and bang her there - husband is heading for the dog house already and will be glad of the diversion.

if you want call to mine and i'll bang her aswell,might help to have more time for your diversion

and it'll be a birthday we all can remember

Thought Bubble

Voltex wrote: »

jesus thats good...all I managed was a filofax outta Tescos

Yeah, I'm just THAT GOOD. No seriously, time and a bit of imagination can work wonders .

Dirk Gently

give her an empty box. Tell her you filled it up with love.

stovelid

clown bag wrote: »

give her an empty box. Tell her you filled it up with love.

Or just fill her with love yourself.

Borneo Fnctn

Hope it goes well for you OP. You aren't finished yet.

Gummy Panda

Give her a lick out

Cheerilee

sort out babysitter for tomorrow
book restaurant and or theatre tickets.
when you tell her happy birthday tomorrow morning tell her to go to the hairdressers coz you are taking her our for her birthday
I dont get the pretend you haven't forgotten lark
you havent forgotten .. thats why you are on here..
birthdays are no big deal what the really big deal here is that you love her so much you don't want to hurt her.. I think thats a big deal and she should feel lucky to have you