Ban top gear??

carchaeologist

Apologies if this has been already posted,but i thought it was funny!
http://www.maxim.co.uk/blogs/staff/18715/banned_top_gear.html


Here’s a true story about a very little man. A few years ago a bunch of journalist friends of mine were lucky enough to be given VIP Access All Area passes to Glastonbury. As they were standing in line, waiting to get into the VIP area, a very little man and woman shoved past them and tried to get through to the front of the queue. Bemused, they watched as the very little man was turned back by security and told to wait his turn. At this, the very little man became enraged. “What is the ****ing hold-up!” he yelled. “Do you know who I am?” He then pounded his very little fists against the fence in a full-on tantrum while even his lady companion looked on in horrified fascination. The very little man was Richard Hammond, and he did not like being kept waiting. It was embarrassing for all concerned, as witnesses sadly called friends on their mobiles to let them know about the very little man’s breakdown. It was also a clear sign of the bloated self-importance of the Top Gear presenter, and the programme itself.
Richard Hammond. James May. Jeremy Clarkson. A little trio of un-reconstructed public schoolboys given free reign on the BBC to spin the clock back to 1974. Birds are to be mocked or salivated over. Cars should be big and fast and macho. Foreigners are silly. Clarkson, left on his own, would probably offend himself just to hear the sound of his own voice. With the pet chipmunk and the slow-witted acid casualty in tow, he is unstoppable. Pump air, suck gas, let the clutch out with a bang. They bestride the globe, burning fuel and spouting hot air, stamping on national sensitivities as they reinforce that old English stereotype: the posh knobhead. They need banning.
Let’s take them in order of height. Richard Hammond. Now there’s a man made for local radio. Hammond comes across as Eric Idle doing a cheesy reporter on Monty Python. He talks in bombastic sentences, trying desperately to emulate housemaster Clarkson, but unable to carry it off with the required amount of balls because he is so obviously, eye-battingly in love with Jeremy. It’s quite sweet. Hammond is like one of those men who lived at home with his mum a little bit too long, and was made up when Take That reformed. He is, in fact, actually a girl. This explains why, with his careful hair, he looks like a lesbian.
James May. What’s wrong with James May? He’s just an enthusiast. He likes gadgets and toys and the 1970s and collecting things and, oh sir, sir can we all go outside and play conkers, sir, can we? You imagine he has a yo-yo and some fireworks in his pocket, and you feel like someone should wipe muck off his face with a spitted hanky and tuck in his shirt. He’s like Dennis the Menace with no menace. He’s a child. He talks with sulky slowness and God dammit why should he grow up when there is global warming and war and poverty in the grown-up world, and wouldn’t it just be better to build a steam rocket and have a glass of ginger ale?
Clarkson. Clarkson can be very funny. He knows what he is doing, and he’s very good at it. He punched Piers Morgan, and he gets more brownie points for that. But the joke has worn fag-paper thin. Do we need to see his fat arse bombing around Vietnam, crassly insulting everything in his path? Do we need him to wreck another pristine bit of countryside to show that he just doesn’t give a damn and we’re all woolly do-gooders who should let the boys have their fun? I don’t think so. I think Top Gear and the pathetic boy-with-toys industry is well past its sell-by date. They should banned, if not for the sake of he planet, for the sake of the TV schedules.

Discuss...:P

ScrubsfanChris

I think 6 million viewers a week would disagree.
It's weird, I don't like 24 but I don't campaign to get it banned!

blackbetty69

yup, 6 million viewers speaks for itself.. its an entertaining show so why diss it?

chillin_penguin

Everyone has different tastes and your wasting your time its never going to be banned at one stage it was the most downloaded tv show on the planet and it makes the bbc more money then it can shake a stick at

chillin_penguin

Its also handy as a tool to help me decide should i get the Ferrari or the porsche

the_syco

carchaeologist wrote: »

Discuss...:P

The author sounds jealous, and should be sacked.

Local-womanizer

Although the guy who wrote that is a d1ck,apparently Hammond is an ass off screen.

Not that that is any reason to ban a show that so many people enjoy.

brendansmith

His description of Hammond is perfect.

I like May though.

The Journalist sounds like a bit of a toff himself.

congo_90

Many shows insult people but top gear isn't that bad. Anyways is it not better to have some sort of banter or does the reporter just want everyone to be completly politically correct, not voice any opinion?

What does Hammonds attitude have to with banning top gear? thats like saying Robbie williams had a drug addiction so lets ban his music.

I think it is the reporter who is stuck in the 70's with such reasoning.

Bottom line: top gear is entertainment for those who don't watch ice skating or x factor etc.

VinnyTGM

I think Jame's May is great, he is true to himself and dosen't try to be like anyone.
Clarkson is funny and make's people laugh.
There is something about Hammond that seem's fake.

At OP, if you want something more serious, watch the new's.

Kirnsy

carchaeologist wrote: »

Apologies if this has been already posted,but i thought it was funny!
http://www.maxim.co.uk/blogs/staff/18715/banned_top_gear.html


Birds are to be mocked or salivated over.

Its a wee bit hypocritical to be complaining about the degration of women while referring to them as 'birds'.....in Maxim magazine......

Mr. Presentable

Top Gear is toss. It's for 12 year olds - shiny things and flashes and kabooms. Is there an actual motoring programme left?

deman

If you don't like it, change the channel and let those of us with a sense of humour, enjoy it.

donmeister

deman wrote: »

If you don't like it, change the channel and let those of us with a sense of humour, enjoy it.

My sentiments exactly

The_Conductor

Don't let my wife see this!
Shes a mad Hammond fan.
Re: James May- I really find him boring as watching paint dry. At least Clarkson can write- though personally I think he should be left writing altogether......

Nulty

Its a grand show, screw the presenters though. I wouldn't care if any of them died tomorrow.

Seems they're getting predictable now though. Or maybe its all the re-runs I've watched on Dave in the last 12 months

mike65

That rant is not nearly as good as those that get everyone excited on the Guardian blogs. James May is the one who'll still be on tv when he's 60 and a minor "national treasure" when he dies.

phasers

congo_90 wrote: »

Bottom line: top gear is entertainment for those who don't watch ice skating or x factor etc.

I watch all tose things

I'm in love with James May, seriously. He's so sweet and genuine. There's something cute about him too.

Richard Hammond is a pillock.

Jeremy is just Jeremy, he's great but a bit too self-important.

OP: We like the show, you don't. That's fair enough. How about you just don't watch it?

Damomayo

chillin_penguin wrote: »

Its also handy as a tool to help me decide should i get the Ferrari or the porsche

why not both and do ur bit to get this economy going. That much VRT should help pay for some decent motorway to drive on...............

I don't think either will ever happen

Mossy Monk

blackbetty69 wrote: »

yup, 6 million viewers speaks for itself.. its an entertaining show so why diss it?

It nets the BBC afortune in overseas rights also. Top Gear is going nowhere until the three lads call it a day.

ScumLord

Maxim is a magazine that uses semi nude pictures of girls to make the rest of the magazine seem less gay and pathetic. The magazine is made up of sponsored in debt reviews of finger nail polish remover for men or one of the twats that work in the office being sent out to try and mingle with actual men.

johnmike

love the first post nothing left to say

ScrubsfanChris

mike65 wrote: »

James May is the one who'll still be on tv when he's 60 and a minor "national treasure" when he dies.

Couldn't agree more.
Watch Oz and James Big Wine Adventure/Drink to Britian, and you willl be a James May fan for life.

Semistatebody

I believe on screen they all have their charm and without one of them the whole show wouldnt be as good. Offscreen someone quite rightly said Hammond is a pillock. Clarkson is not far behind but James May is actually quite decent, nonetheless as part of the 6million population that watches the show I believe it really is one of the few quality entertainment tv shows BBC is outputting these days...

Johnny Storm

carchaeologist wrote: »

Discuss...:P

There's an element of truth in what he says. IMHO.
Clarkson is a twat, Hammond is a bit contrived and, of course, James May is way cool and the spokesman for his generation.
Best show currently on TV by miles.

The_Conductor

Johnny Storm wrote: »

Best show currently on TV by miles.

Most pirated show on TV by miles.........

Stovepipe

Hi all,
You're all forgetting that all three are successful outside Top Gear, both in terms of writing and making programmes.Clarkson's programme about his late father-in-law's military career was probably one of the best of it's kind and May's technology programmes are a hoot. His toy programmes are a laugh and are very charming and stand watching repeatedly.May was also a well-regarded motoring writer long before Top Gear and is honest about his total lack of affinity with F1, which is surprising for a writer for "Car". Hammond, to me, is the least of the three, in terms of durable work but is quite funny and does offer the degree of gleeful opposition to JC that is needed on Top Gear.
regards
Stovepipe

fonecrusher1

Who cares what someone writing for maxim thinks?:rolleyes:

Monkeybonkers

I was reading somewhere over the Christmas that the producer of Top Gear was saying that he is thinking of discontinuing it as the show has become stale. His general jist was that the three presenters had become such caricatures of themselves that he felt that the show had lost something and he was thinking of shelving it. Not sure how accurate this is as I can't remember where I read it but I can see his point. While it can be entertaining, I think that in recent times it has become a bit stale and maybe now is the time to retire it while it still has it's dignity. It's hard to keep a show like that fresh over such a long period of time and I think that they have done a pretty good job of keeping it entertaining for so long. Maybe now is the time to put it out to pasture.

mink_man

no, just no

746watts

top gear is fab.
Would you prefer to watch songs of praise in your cardigan and soiled maggot infested cacks?