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One Question and One Question Only!

  • 21-10-2009 12:00pm
    #1
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 17,150 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    So, heres the scenario. You're standing in front of an all-knowing guru, or something, you can only ask him/her one question which he/she will answer. He/she will answer ANYTHING you ask him/her with 100% accuracy. What would you ask him/her?

    I know it could be a bit of a foregone conclusion with the 'Whats the meaning of life?' generic question, but I'm interested to see what other questions a boardsie would ask, jokingly or not :pac:


«13

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,154 ✭✭✭Rented Mule


    Are you really all knowing ?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,813 ✭✭✭Gone Drinking


    If i put something in your mouth, will you suck it till its soft?


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 14,324 CMod ✭✭✭✭The Master


    Are you really the head of the Quicki Mart?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    What's the weird feeling when you type your password at the wrong time and see it come up on screen actually called?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,565 ✭✭✭✭Cookie_Monster


    whats the square root of negative one


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,957 ✭✭✭Euro_Kraut


    Next Saturdays Lotto numbers.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,532 ✭✭✭✭Quazzie


    How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,931 ✭✭✭az2wp0sye65487


    Why?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,368 ✭✭✭Smart Bug


    There's a problem I'm really stuck on. You see, this guy called Billy has 5 apples, and this girl called Mary has 3 apples. If they put them all together, how many eggs will my chicken John lay?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Euro_Kraut wrote: »
    Next Saturdays Lotto numbers.

    That's not a question silly.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,342 ✭✭✭Long Onion


    Who is taking the horse to France?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    Smart Bug wrote: »
    There's a problem I'm really stuck on. You see, this guy called Billy has 5 apples, and this girl called Mary has 3 apples. If they put them all together, how many eggs will my chicken John lay?


    None, the males don't lay eggs.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    Are you really all knowing ?

    Yes
    If i put something in your mouth, will you suck it till its soft?

    No, that's more of a request, the answer is still No.
    The Master wrote: »
    Are you really the head of the Quicki Mart?

    No, that's My Brother, John.
    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    What's the weird feeling when you type your password at the wrong time and see it come up on screen actually called?

    Password-recognition-iness.
    whats the square root of negative one

    i.
    Euro_Kraut wrote: »
    Next Saturdays Lotto numbers.

    3,8,16,19,27,41. Bonus: 18
    Quazzie wrote: »
    How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

    A day or at a time?

    A day they would chuck enough to feed themselves and their children, presuming they actually digest the wood.

    At a Time they would do enough to feed themselves.
    Why?

    Because I said so.
    Smart Bug wrote: »
    There's a problem I'm really stuck on. You see, this guy called Billy has 5 apples, and this girl called Mary has 3 apples. If they put them all together, how many eggs will my chicken John lay?

    They 2 events are unrelated but John will lay 1 egg today.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,669 ✭✭✭✭ednwireland


    what's the answer to life the universe and everything, oh wait we already got that one

    whats the ultimate question then

    My weather

    https://www.ecowitt.net/home/share?authorize=96CT1F



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    what's the answer to life the universe and everything, oh wait we already got that one

    whats the ultimate question then

    Who would win in a fight between a Pirate and a Ninja? Of course, everyone knows that!

    Where the hell is your question mark?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,821 ✭✭✭RxQueen


    are we there yet?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,342 ✭✭✭Long Onion


    3,8,16,19,27,41. Bonus: 18

    Feck ya - I'm going to have to do these now - if my regular ones come up I will find you ...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    emo!! wrote: »
    are we there yet?

    You would not be able to ask this question if we were there yet for there is no internet at all our final destination.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,037 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    How do Jacobs get the figs in the Fig Rolls?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,503 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    What did I have for dinner last night?*proceeds to burp in Guru's face*


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    How do Jacobs get the figs in the Fig Rolls?

    There is no rolling involved, they use 2 tubes one inside the other.

    The Fig one is inside the buiscuit one.

    It comes out round, is chopped by a machine and flattened by another.

    It is cooled and then you have a fig roll.
    Riddle101 wrote:
    What did I have for dinner last night?*proceeds to burp in Guru's face*

    Potatoes, gravy and chicken.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,555 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    So, heres the scenario. You're standing in front of an all-knowing guru, or something, you can only ask him/her one question which he/she will answer. He/she will answer ANYTHING you ask him/her with 100% accuracy. What would you ask him/her?

    :


    Is Tar.Aldrion a man or a woman?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,037 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    There is no rolling involved, they use 2 tubes one inside the other.

    The Fig one is inside the buiscuit one.

    It comes out round, is chopped by a machine and flattened by another.

    It is cooled and then you have a fig roll.

    thank you o wise one


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    thank you o wise one

    Don't thank me..............Thank my post:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    snyper wrote: »
    Is Tar.Aldrion a man or a woman?

    Tar, is technically raised a man. But has all the bits of both if you know what I mean. (weird family his.)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    3,8,16,19,27,41. Bonus: 18

    Definitely playing those today.

    If I win I'll send you a fiver.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Definitely playing those today.

    If I win I'll send you a fiver.

    You won't actually send the fiver will you?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    You won't actually send the fiver will you?

    No. No I won't.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,106 ✭✭✭flyton5


    Why do I keep getting erections on the bus?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    flyton5 wrote: »
    Why do I keep getting erections on the bus?

    Stop sitting near the wheel well. The vibrations are tickling your prostate adn giving you erections.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 679 ✭✭✭Wizard007


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Definitely playing those today.

    If I win I'll send you a fiver.

    Yeah, deffinately doing them too. I wonder how many others are doing them "just in case" ? ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,736 ✭✭✭tech77


    You won't actually send the fiver will you?

    ^All-knowing my ar$e.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    tech77 wrote: »
    ^All-knowing my ar$e.

    It wasn't actually a question, it was rhetorical. I knew the answer. AnonoBoy is a known shylock.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,062 ✭✭✭cjt156


    flyton5 wrote: »
    Why do I keep getting erections on the bus?

    And didn't the school board have your licence revoked for that?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,931 ✭✭✭Prof.Badass


    If you're all knowing then why haven't you told us how to cure aids/famine/ everything else?

    cúnt.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 373 ✭✭Rylan


    What is the speed of dark?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    vinylmesh wrote: »
    If you're all knowing then why haven't you told us how to cure aids/famine/ everything else?

    cúnt.

    Noone has ever asked, and I'm not gonna tell ye now because you called me a cnut. Ye deserve it now!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,824 ✭✭✭ShooterSF


    If I could run backwards faster than the speed of light while staring straight on would I be able to see anything assuming I'm out running the light.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    Rylan wrote: »
    What is the speed of dark?

    It's all relative. Step into a black hole to find out.
    ShooterSF wrote: »
    If I could run backwards faster than the speed of light while staring straight on would I be able to see anything assuming I'm out running the light.

    You would become pure energy in the form of light. you wouldn't actually see anything.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Is it wrong to lick a girl front to back in one big lick?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,462 ✭✭✭Orla K


    Most Irish people will say as soon as they see the person
    "Hi, how are ye?"

    And there go's there question


  • Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 17,150 Mod ✭✭✭✭cherryghost


    ShooterSF wrote: »
    If I could run backwards faster than the speed of light while staring straight on would I be able to see anything assuming I'm out running the light.

    wouldnt it eventually be possible that you could see yourself?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 371 ✭✭Kradock


    What good is Boards.ie


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    Is it wrong to lick a girl front to back in one big lick?

    If thats wrong then I don't wanna be right.
    Orla K wrote: »
    Most Irish people will say as soon as they see the person
    "Hi, how are ye?"

    And there go's there question

    I'm fine thanks.
    wouldnt it eventually be possible that you could see yourself?

    Possible, but unlikely. It depends on alot of variables.
    Kradock wrote: »
    What good is Boards.ie

    It connects Irish people from all over the world and facilitates many different types of discussion.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,503 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    Is it wrong to lick a girl front to back in one big lick?

    Depends if the woman bothered to wipe her ar$e.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 53,267 ✭✭✭✭GavRedKing


    Can I have more questions??


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 393 ✭✭bonerjams03


    Rylan wrote: »
    What is the speed of dark?


    9.58 s


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    gavredking wrote: »
    Can I have more questions??

    Again that's a request not trully a question about anything. But the answer is NO. Not for anyone like you Gav.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    You're standing in front of an all-knowing guru, or something, you can only ask him/her one question which he/she will answer. He/she will answer ANYTHING you ask him/her with 100% accuracy. What would you ask him/her?

    When will chickens be able to cross roads without having their motives questioned?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    mikom wrote: »
    When will chickens be able to cross roads without having their motives questioned?

    That is one I can't answer, I am sorry but the stupidity of humans knows no bounds. But it will probably be sometime after chickens become extinct.


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