One Question and One Question Only!

cherryghost · 21-10-2009 12:00PM #1

So, heres the scenario. You're standing in front of an all-knowing guru, or something, you can only ask him/her one question which he/she will answer. He/she will answer ANYTHING you ask him/her with 100% accuracy. What would you ask him/her?

I know it could be a bit of a foregone conclusion with the 'Whats the meaning of life?' generic question, but I'm interested to see what other questions a boardsie would ask, jokingly or not :pac:

Rented Mule · 21-10-2009 12:01PM

Are you really all knowing ?

Gone Drinking · 21-10-2009 12:02PM

If i put something in your mouth, will you suck it till its soft?

The Master · 21-10-2009 12:02PM

Are you really the head of the Quicki Mart?

AnonoBoy · 21-10-2009 12:03PM

What's the weird feeling when you type your password at the wrong time and see it come up on screen actually called?

Cookie_Monster · 21-10-2009 12:04PM

whats the square root of negative one

Euro_Kraut · 21-10-2009 12:04PM

Next Saturdays Lotto numbers.

Quazzie · 21-10-2009 12:05PM

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

az2wp0sye65487 · 21-10-2009 12:06PM

Why?

Smart Bug · 21-10-2009 12:06PM

There's a problem I'm really stuck on. You see, this guy called Billy has 5 apples, and this girl called Mary has 3 apples. If they put them all together, how many eggs will my chicken John lay?

AnonoBoy · 21-10-2009 12:09PM

Euro_Kraut wrote: »

Next Saturdays Lotto numbers.

That's not a question silly.

Long Onion · 21-10-2009 12:09PM

Who is taking the horse to France?

TheZohanS · 21-10-2009 12:11PM

Smart Bug wrote: »

There's a problem I'm really stuck on. You see, this guy called Billy has 5 apples, and this girl called Mary has 3 apples. If they put them all together, how many eggs will my chicken John lay?

None, the males don't lay eggs.

minidazzler · 21-10-2009 12:11PM

Rented Mule wrote: »

Are you really all knowing ?

Yes

Gone Drinking wrote: »

If i put something in your mouth, will you suck it till its soft?

No, that's more of a request, the answer is still No.

The Master wrote: »

Are you really the head of the Quicki Mart?

No, that's My Brother, John.

AnonoBoy wrote: »

What's the weird feeling when you type your password at the wrong time and see it come up on screen actually called?

Password-recognition-iness.

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

whats the square root of negative one

i.

Euro_Kraut wrote: »

Next Saturdays Lotto numbers.

3,8,16,19,27,41. Bonus: 18

Quazzie wrote: »

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A day or at a time?

A day they would chuck enough to feed themselves and their children, presuming they actually digest the wood.

At a Time they would do enough to feed themselves.

Cain Rhythmic Switch wrote: »

Why?

Because I said so.

Smart Bug wrote: »

There's a problem I'm really stuck on. You see, this guy called Billy has 5 apples, and this girl called Mary has 3 apples. If they put them all together, how many eggs will my chicken John lay?

They 2 events are unrelated but John will lay 1 egg today.

ednwireland · 21-10-2009 12:11PM

what's the answer to life the universe and everything, oh wait we already got that one

whats the ultimate question then

minidazzler · 21-10-2009 12:13PM

ednwireland wrote: »

what's the answer to life the universe and everything, oh wait we already got that one

whats the ultimate question then

Who would win in a fight between a Pirate and a Ninja? Of course, everyone knows that!

Where the hell is your question mark?

RxQueen · 21-10-2009 12:14PM

are we there yet?

Long Onion · 21-10-2009 12:15PM

minidazzler wrote: »

3,8,16,19,27,41. Bonus: 18

Feck ya - I'm going to have to do these now - if my regular ones come up I will find you ...

minidazzler · 21-10-2009 12:15PM

emo!! wrote: »

are we there yet?

You would not be able to ask this question if we were there yet for there is no internet at all our final destination.

SEPT 23 1989 · 21-10-2009 12:15PM

How do Jacobs get the figs in the Fig Rolls?

Riddle101 · 21-10-2009 12:16PM

What did I have for dinner last night?*proceeds to burp in Guru's face*

minidazzler · 21-10-2009 12:17PM

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

How do Jacobs get the figs in the Fig Rolls?

There is no rolling involved, they use 2 tubes one inside the other.

The Fig one is inside the buiscuit one.

It comes out round, is chopped by a machine and flattened by another.

It is cooled and then you have a fig roll.

Riddle101 wrote:

What did I have for dinner last night?*proceeds to burp in Guru's face*

Potatoes, gravy and chicken.

AckwelFoley · 21-10-2009 12:22PM

cherryghost wrote: »

So, heres the scenario. You're standing in front of an all-knowing guru, or something, you can only ask him/her one question which he/she will answer. He/she will answer ANYTHING you ask him/her with 100% accuracy. What would you ask him/her?

:

Is Tar.Aldrion a man or a woman?

SEPT 23 1989 · 21-10-2009 12:22PM

minidazzler wrote: »

There is no rolling involved, they use 2 tubes one inside the other.

The Fig one is inside the buiscuit one.

It comes out round, is chopped by a machine and flattened by another.

It is cooled and then you have a fig roll.

thank you o wise one

minidazzler · 21-10-2009 12:23PM

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

thank you o wise one

Don't thank me..............Thank my post:D

minidazzler · 21-10-2009 12:24PM

snyper wrote: »

Is Tar.Aldrion a man or a woman?

Tar, is technically raised a man. But has all the bits of both if you know what I mean. (weird family his.)

AnonoBoy · 21-10-2009 12:30PM

minidazzler wrote: »

3,8,16,19,27,41. Bonus: 18

Definitely playing those today.

If I win I'll send you a fiver.

minidazzler · 21-10-2009 12:32PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Definitely playing those today.

If I win I'll send you a fiver.

You won't actually send the fiver will you?

AnonoBoy · 21-10-2009 12:33PM

minidazzler wrote: »

You won't actually send the fiver will you?

No. No I won't.

flyton5 · 21-10-2009 12:34PM

Why do I keep getting erections on the bus?

minidazzler · 21-10-2009 12:37PM

flyton5 wrote: »

Why do I keep getting erections on the bus?

Stop sitting near the wheel well. The vibrations are tickling your prostate adn giving you erections.

Wizard007 · 21-10-2009 12:38PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Definitely playing those today.

If I win I'll send you a fiver.

Yeah, deffinately doing them too. I wonder how many others are doing them "just in case" ?

tech77 · 21-10-2009 12:40PM

minidazzler wrote: »

You won't actually send the fiver will you?

^All-knowing my ar$e.

minidazzler · 21-10-2009 12:42PM

tech77 wrote: »

^All-knowing my ar$e.

It wasn't actually a question, it was rhetorical. I knew the answer. AnonoBoy is a known shylock.

cjt156 · 21-10-2009 01:06PM

flyton5 wrote: »

Why do I keep getting erections on the bus?

And didn't the school board have your licence revoked for that?

Prof.Badass · 21-10-2009 01:08PM

If you're all knowing then why haven't you told us how to cure aids/famine/ everything else?

cúnt.

Rylan · 21-10-2009 01:14PM

What is the speed of dark?

minidazzler · 21-10-2009 01:14PM

vinylmesh wrote: »

If you're all knowing then why haven't you told us how to cure aids/famine/ everything else?

cúnt.

Noone has ever asked, and I'm not gonna tell ye now because you called me a cnut. Ye deserve it now!!!

ShooterSF · 21-10-2009 01:17PM

If I could run backwards faster than the speed of light while staring straight on would I be able to see anything assuming I'm out running the light.

minidazzler · 21-10-2009 01:21PM

Rylan wrote: »

What is the speed of dark?

It's all relative. Step into a black hole to find out.

ShooterSF wrote: »

If I could run backwards faster than the speed of light while staring straight on would I be able to see anything assuming I'm out running the light.

You would become pure energy in the form of light. you wouldn't actually see anything.

Gummy Panda · 21-10-2009 01:22PM

Is it wrong to lick a girl front to back in one big lick?

Orla K · 21-10-2009 01:24PM

Most Irish people will say as soon as they see the person
"Hi, how are ye?"

And there go's there question

cherryghost · 21-10-2009 01:26PM

ShooterSF wrote: »

If I could run backwards faster than the speed of light while staring straight on would I be able to see anything assuming I'm out running the light.

wouldnt it eventually be possible that you could see yourself?

Kradock · 21-10-2009 01:27PM

What good is Boards.ie

minidazzler · 21-10-2009 01:38PM

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Is it wrong to lick a girl front to back in one big lick?

If thats wrong then I don't wanna be right.

Orla K wrote: »

Most Irish people will say as soon as they see the person
"Hi, how are ye?"

And there go's there question

I'm fine thanks.

cherryghost wrote: »

wouldnt it eventually be possible that you could see yourself?

Possible, but unlikely. It depends on alot of variables.

Kradock wrote: »

What good is Boards.ie

It connects Irish people from all over the world and facilitates many different types of discussion.

Riddle101 · 21-10-2009 02:07PM

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Is it wrong to lick a girl front to back in one big lick?

Depends if the woman bothered to wipe her ar$e.

GavRedKing · 21-10-2009 02:37PM

Can I have more questions??

bonerjams03 · 21-10-2009 02:46PM

Rylan wrote: »

What is the speed of dark?

9.58 s

minidazzler · 21-10-2009 02:52PM

gavredking wrote: »

Can I have more questions??

Again that's a request not trully a question about anything. But the answer is NO. Not for anyone like you Gav.

mikom · 21-10-2009 02:55PM

cherryghost wrote: »

You're standing in front of an all-knowing guru, or something, you can only ask him/her one question which he/she will answer. He/she will answer ANYTHING you ask him/her with 100% accuracy. What would you ask him/her?

When will chickens be able to cross roads without having their motives questioned?

minidazzler · 21-10-2009 02:58PM

mikom wrote: »

When will chickens be able to cross roads without having their motives questioned?

That is one I can't answer, I am sorry but the stupidity of humans knows no bounds. But it will probably be sometime after chickens become extinct.

One Question and One Question Only!

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