Inappropriate way / place to ask someone out?

kingtut

Hi,

This stems from a post I put somewhere else....I was in a restuarant a few weeks ago and saw the cutest nicest waitress ever, could not stop checking her out and anytime I did so she was already looking in my direction and smiling.

I really wanted to give her my number on a bit of paper but thought I would come across as a freak and a weirdo so decided not to... So with this in mind I have two questions:

1 - If you were the girl what would you have thought if I had given you my number in this way?

2 - What are the best / worses places to give someone your number in this situation.

Thanks in advance!

Mackleton

Well, you would have had to have made some effort to talk to me because sliding the number across the table without saying anything would have me thinking you were a self-assured little sh*t thinking as soon as I had your number it would be a done deal so to speak.

If you had said at least a little something to me and smiled in a cute/shy way as you passed the number I would probably think you were sweet. It just depends on the method really.

minidazzler

Why do you care what she would have thought of you? Either she texts you or not.

If I was a girl and someone did that, it would actually depend on the tip. < 10% and they can fcuk off.

Worst place to give your number is in a club. I rarely remember it.

Best place, hmmmmm I dunno really. Next festival I work I am gonna give my number to a few girls and see if that seems like a good idea:P

kingtut

Mackleton wrote: »

Well, you would have had to have made some effort to talk to me because sliding the number across the table without saying anything would have me thinking you were a self-assured little sh*t thinking as soon as I had your number it would be a done deal so to speak.

If you had said at least a little something to me and smiled in a cute/shy way as you passed the number I would probably think you were sweet. It just depends on the method really.

I smiled at her a lot though....and even though she was not our waitress she did call over to the table a couple of times....
I was with my parents so there was not really anything I could do other than smile...:(

Shaws

Maybe when your leaving would be a good time to approach her, ask her out and then give her your number so ye can make arrangements!
Best of luck, hope she says yes!

Make sure you let us know what happens in case it's a really good idea or a really bad idea!!!

Cookie Jar

I agree with Shaws about when your leaving being the best time to ask her out. Although if she was working you might not have got a chance.

If I received a number on a piece of paper i would felt kinda good about myself.
But then also thinking your quite cocky thinking I was going to do anything about your number when you didn't even talk to me.
If you even had of ame over to me and said something and then given me your number, i'd txt you, if you were my type:p

I dont think there is a particular bad place to give someone your number.

misswex

Yeah Shaws is right, you should have stopped and spoken to her on the way out and if you felt that she was into you, just given her your number.

spartan1

I approached a girl on the street once with a piece of paper with my number on it, made about 30 seconds of small talk, name, are u single, heres my number, the rest is up to you.......she text 2 days later and we went for a drink....never went any further than the drink, but Id recommend it, as I said to myself at the time, regret doing it ......not not doing it, live a little !

itsallaboutheL

i've done it twice, once in a retaurant once in a bar, the bar one worked out pretty well!!:o the restaurant waitress didn't text me but i found out afterwards that she was going out with a friend of a friend anyways... i'd say go for it you've nothing to loose, saying that i wish i had the cahones to do it more often!!

neuro-praxis

When I worked as a barmaid a lot of guys would write their name and number on their receipt and either slide it across the counter to me or hand it to me on their way out. I was never impressed by this and never rang any of them.

I would have liked if a guy was up front and said, "You seem nice, can I take you out for a drink some evening?"

Also, you'd need to be sober for this to work.

But hey that's just me.

Conversation for the win.

solace

You could always write something on the note, something like... "The number of the guy too shy to ask you out in person is:". Might work?

Snowie

I think there only one bad way of approaching a woman, when your really drunk :pac:

Snow-Monkey

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

I think there only one bad way of approaching a woman, when your really drunk :pac:

Seriously someone asked me sober. I'd go out with them just for the show of cahones.

Snowie

Moonbaby wrote: »

Seriously someone asked me sober. I'd go out with them just for the show of cahones.

and so you bloody well should! :cool:

Mmmm_Lemony

On your own is probably better than with a bunch of lads. That would look pretty bad. Worst still would be in front of your girlfriend.

Best place would be anywhere, anytime, that doesnt involve drama or suspense or horror. I wouldn't advise it at the scene of an accident etc... but you have to have at least a little talk or intro first. James Bond is only a character from a few books and films... (If your name is james bond I apologise for type casting you...)

Jemmy

I've done this in a bar at home years ago, there was a bar man in my local and I'd seen him a few times and decided I'd give it a go see what happened so I tried to make a joke and chat during the night when I was ordering drinks but it was so busy it just wasn't happening so the girls suggested I give him my number.

When he dropped our drinks down I said sorry you wouldnt have a pen and paper, which he gave me I wrote down my name and number went up to the bar said 'sorry here's your pen and maybe you might make use of this' and gave him the number! I know you can slag me all you want but it worked he smiled and put it in his pocket! Anyway I got a text the next evening he was lovely said he was really flattered but he was actually seeing someone, turns out I knew the girl too! OPPS!

I don't see the problem if you try engage in a conversation or like you said OP looks were exchanged back and forth then slip your number, it would be strange if nothing was said or exchanged and you tried tho.

shellyboo

Jemmy wrote: »

When he dropped our drinks down I said sorry you wouldnt have a pen and paper, which he gave me I wrote down my name and number went up to the bar said 'sorry here's your pen and maybe you might make use of this' and gave him the number!

That's so COOL! You are class.

aranrn

Bit if small talk, sound her out and then slip her the number if you think it's on. Mind you, a girl who's smiling randomly at you when she's not even waiting on your table. She probably does that with every good lookin' guy that comes into the restaurant. Sounds like a bit of a slut to me. You should definitely give her your number.

Jules

aranrn, read the charter before posting in a forum, refereing to a woman as a slut just cuz she smiles at a guy, its stupid.

ogriofa

not having a go at you here, and dont want to be a smartarse but...

Why would you give your number to her, she might be cute but have you spoken to her? You know when she's asking what you would like to eat, that's her job?

I've had a few of these scenarios. I got talking to one girl, she was full of smiles but we didnt hit it off at allllllllll. The smileiness was just her approach.

Any key?

aranrn wrote: »

Mind you, a girl who's smiling randomly at you when she's not even waiting on your table. She probably does that with every good lookin' guy that comes into the restaurant. Sounds like a bit of a slut to me.

Paranoid much??
Men of Ireland beware of those brazen smiling women!!!

I don't think you neccesarily(can't spell can't spell!) had to talk to her, you could just leave your number. You know yourself if their was a vibe there or not, would possibly make it less awkward if You did end up goin on a date or what not though.

aranrn

Jules wrote: »

aranrn, read the charter before posting in a forum, refereing to a woman as a slut just cuz she smiles at a guy, its stupid.

Sorry Jules, I was just talking from experience. I went out with a girl who worked in a bar once and she was always smiling and joking with (male) customers. Anyway, she was a complete whore in the bedroom. So really I'm just expressing my honestly held opinion. I didn't mean to offend anyone. I'm not saying the OP's waitress is a slut or anything, just that she might be a bit of a slut based on my experience of smiley friendly bar girls. I realised after a while that the girl I was with was a complete flirt and relied on male attention for self esteem. She ended up doing the dirt on me. Something else the OP should be made aware of.

Jules

aranrn, you went out with one bar girl once, or so you have said. Just cuz she had issues with needing validation from men doesnt mean all other girls who like to smile at guys are. And you could of chosen better wording than the term "slut" or "whore". Now drop it or you might guess what will happen next!

And Any Key, don't stir!

Now back on topic.

I_am_Jebus

aranrn wrote: »

Sorry Jules, I was just talking from experience. I went out with a girl who worked in a bar once and she was always smiling and joking with (male) customers. Anyway, she was a complete whore in the bedroom.

Any chance you can PM me her number please

I am not sure what you are getting at here to be honest. What's a whore in the bedroom? I mean someone sexually adventurous or experienced is not necessarily a "whore" to be fair.

Even more so, you are speaking of one experience that you have had. Girls who work in bars/restaurants and/or girls who smile aren't whores. They're girl who:
a. have a job
b. are friendly.

Jobs in bars and restaurants are customer driven. It's a necessity to be friendly.

Not being smart, but you really need to get out more.
Sluts? come on man, seriously way OTT statement.!

aranrn

I_am_Jebus wrote: »

Any chance you can PM me her number please

I am not sure what you are getting at here to be honest. What's a whore in the bedroom? I mean someone sexually adventurous or experienced is not necessarily a "whore" to be fair.

Even more so, you are speaking of one experience that you have had. Girls who work in bars/restaurants and/or girls who smile aren't whores. They're girl who:
a. have a job
b. are friendly.

Jobs in bars and restaurants are customer driven. It's a necessity to be friendly.

Not being smart, but you really need to get out more.
Sluts? come on man, seriously way OTT statement.!

Sorry now Jules, but I have to respond to that.

I wasn't using "slut" or "whore" in a pejorative sense. I quite like sluts and whores. Obviously I wouldn't say to a girl I like, "y'know, you're great, you're quite a whore", but there might be a part of me thinking it and as I'm thinking it, I'm also thinking how much I like and respect her. Same thing with a girl who is a slut. So it's kinda a compliment in my mind, but maybe not something I'd necessarily say to a girl out loud 'cos she'd probably only take it up wrong. That's all. Anyway back on topic.

I_am_Jebus

aranrn wrote: »

Sorry now Jules, but I have to respond to that.

I wasn't using "slut" or "whore" in a pejorative sense. I quite like sluts and whores. Obviously I wouldn't say to a girl I like, "y'know, you're great, you're quite a whore", but there might be a part of me thinking it and as I'm thinking it, I'm also thinking how much I like and respect her. Same thing with a girl who is a slut. So it's kinda a compliment in my mind, but maybe not something I'd necessarily say to a girl out loud 'cos she'd probably only take it up wrong. That's all. Anyway back on topic.

You're initial post didn't come across that way, to me anyway...

But hey so be it... you've managed to park an ice cream van in front of my train of thought and derailed it. Thanks for that ..

BOT...
What's the old saying ... "fortune favours the brave". If you have the courage I think you should just ask people. YOu get rejected so what, it's unlikely that you'll ever see or talk to the person again anyway... nothing ventured, nothing gained... wow full of oldies today...

Jemmy

shellyboo wrote: »

That's so COOL! You are class.

I am cool and don't you forget it! :D

neuro-praxis

aranrn wrote: »

I wasn't using "slut" or "whore" in a pejorative sense. I quite like sluts and whores. Obviously I wouldn't say to a girl I like, "y'know, you're great, you're quite a whore", but there might be a part of me thinking it and as I'm thinking it, I'm also thinking how much I like and respect her. Same thing with a girl who is a slut. So it's kinda a compliment in my mind, but maybe not something I'd necessarily say to a girl out loud 'cos she'd probably only take it up wrong. That's all. Anyway back on topic.

...I'm actually speechless. There is so much wrong with this I hardly know where to start.

As for thanking him for this comment?!

shellyboo

neuro-praxis wrote: »

...I'm actually speechless. There is so much wrong with this I hardly know where to start.

As for thanking him for this comment?!

The words "slut" and "whore" can be used (and are, by me) in a sex-positive way. And I was pleased to see that point of view represented.

neuro-praxis

shellyboo wrote: »

The words "slut" and "whore" can be used (and are, by me) in a sex-positive way. And I was pleased to see that point of view represented.

If you're alluding to removing the negative power from such a specific terms (as a black person might feel they are free to refer to themselves as a "******" or a gay person; "queer") then I am sure that you will recognise that for a man to refer to a woman in such terms is as inappropriate as it is for a white person to refer to a black person as a ****** or a straight person to refer to a gay person as queer.

Not that I agree with you that they are sex-positive terms. I couldn't disagree more. And how someone could draw conclusions about a person's sexuality based on how much they smile at customers is frankly idiotic.

neuro-praxis

Boards considers n1gger a swear word.

shellyboo

neuro-praxis wrote: »

Not that I agree with you that they are sex-positive terms. I couldn't disagree more. And how someone could draw conclusions about a person's sexuality based on how much they smile at customers is frankly idiotic.

I agree that the poster is an idiot for calling someone a slut for simply smiling, but I relate to his opinion of the varying meanings of the word "slut". This thread isn't the place to take it up though, that's why I thanked him as opposed to dragging the thread OT... which it now is.

neuro-praxis

shellyboo wrote: »

I agree that the poster is an idiot for calling someone a slut for simply smiling, but I relate to his opinion of the varying meanings of the word "slut". This thread isn't the place to take it up though, that's why I thanked him as opposed to dragging the thread OT... which it now is.

Indeed. Apologies for being off-topic.

Maple

Jeff Albertson, post deleted.

As per Jules earlier warning, no stirring please.

aranrn

shellyboo wrote: »

I agree that the poster is an idiot for calling someone a slut for simply smiling, but I relate to his opinion of the varying meanings of the word "slut". This thread isn't the place to take it up though, that's why I thanked him as opposed to dragging the thread OT... which it now is.

I didn't call her a slut simply for smiling. I said she'd be a bit of a slut if she was smiling at everyone. You can't be a slut just for smiling at one person. But if some chick is all like smiles all the time to all the good looking guys, and if she's got this "yeah, I'm a bit gamey" look in her eye, and she's all like putting out, then I think it's probably justified to say she's a bit of a slut. And like I already said, I don't mean it in a derogative way. Girls like that can be slutty and still be very sexy (although sometimes they turn out to be a bit mental, like my ex, y'know).

Nervous Wreck

aranrn wrote: »

I didn't call her a slut simply for smiling. I said she'd be a bit of a slut if she was smiling at everyone. You can't be a slut just for smiling at one person. But if some chick is all like smiles all the time to all the good looking guys, and if she's got this "yeah, I'm a bit gamey" look in her eye, and she's all like putting out, then I think it's probably justified to say she's a bit of a slut. And like I already said, I don't mean it in a derogative way. Girls like that can be slutty and still be very sexy (although sometimes they turn out to be a bit mental, like my ex, y'know).

Reckon you need to get over your issues with your ex being a 'slut' and realise that sometimes people like to be friendly and smile, and doing so does not necessarily impact on their sex life.

Professey Chin

I dont think ever ever seen the word slut so much in a thread :eek:

minidazzler

Jemmy wrote: »

Anyway I got a text the next evening he was lovely said he was really flattered but he was actually seeing someone, turns out I knew the girl too! OPPS!
.

Nothing Ventured nothing gained!!! You've got some major cajone's!!!!

aranrn wrote: »

I didn't call her a slut simply for smiling. I said she'd be a bit of a slut if she was smiling at everyone. You can't be a slut just for smiling at one person. But if some chick is all like smiles all the time to all the good looking guys, and if she's got this "yeah, I'm a bit gamey" look in her eye, and she's all like putting out, then I think it's probably justified to say she's a bit of a slut. And like I already said, I don't mean it in a derogative way. Girls like that can be slutty and still be very sexy (although sometimes they turn out to be a bit mental, like my ex, y'know).

Put the shovel down!!!!

Smiling, no matter how many people she smiles at DOES NOT Make her a slut, now stop please it's getting very annoying.

shellyboo

aranrn wrote: »

I didn't call her a slut simply for smiling. I said she'd be a bit of a slut if she was smiling at everyone.

Sorry, but you cannot be a slut for smiling at people. No matter how much you smile. Especially when it's your job to be friendly, as it is when you're a waitress.

Being friendly is not the same as being a slut - even if you mean it in a good way.

aranrn

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

Reckon you need to get over your issues with your ex being a 'slut' and realise that sometimes people like to be friendly and smile, and doing so does not necessarily impact on their sex life.

I never said my ex was a slut. I said she was a bit of a whore in the bedroom. Not a slut though. Anyway I've no real issues with her, even is she was slut (which she isn't).

minidazzler wrote: »

Nothing Ventured nothing gained!!! You've got some major cajone's!!!!



Put the shovel down!!!!

Smiling, no matter how many people she smiles at DOES NOT Make her a slut, now stop please it's getting very annoying.

I'm not the one with the issues on terminology. You're the ones who keep bangin' on about it.

NothingMan

When asking any girl out, just be really persistent. I asked my girlfriend out 3 times in one day and she kept changing the subject. Sure enough several hours and a few dozen beers later she finally gave in.

3 years later we're still going strong. (as long as I keep putting jack daniels in her cereal).

Black Swan

kingtut wrote: »

2 - What are the best / worses places to give someone your number in this situation.

Had a very drunken lad follow me into the ladies of a bar a couple weeks past, who proceeded to ask me out while other women laughed or complained.

LightningBolt

Working as a waiter. (Bloke) Get numbers every now and then, just think that's nice and laugh it off. All the girls I work with would do the same also. Very rarely works in my experience.

Here's a tip: if in future you think someone is interested in you just go for it, no point in what if or second guessing.

Maple

aranrn wrote: »

I didn't call her a slut simply for smiling. I said she'd be a bit of a slut if she was smiling at everyone. You can't be a slut just for smiling at one person. But if some chick is all like smiles all the time to all the good looking guys, and if she's got this "yeah, I'm a bit gamey" look in her eye, and she's all like putting out, then I think it's probably justified to say she's a bit of a slut. And like I already said, I don't mean it in a derogative way. Girls like that can be slutty and still be very sexy (although sometimes they turn out to be a bit mental, like my ex, y'know).

I fail to see the logic in your post. Calling an individual who works in the service industry a "slut" for smiling and being personable simply does not compute.

You're walking a fine line Aranrn. Any more nonsense and you'll find yourself taking a little holiday from TLL.

Maple

aranrn

maple wrote: »

I fail to see the logic in your post. Calling an individual who works in the service industry a "slut" for smiling and being personable simply does not compute.

You're walking a fine line Aranrn. Any more nonsense and you'll find yourself taking a little holiday from TLL.

Maple

Fair enough, I can see how some people would take that up wrong. Maybe slut is the wrong way to put it. Let's just say she might be a bit gamey and leave it at that.

Maple

aranrn wrote: »

Fair enough, I can see how some people would take that up wrong. Maybe slut is the wrong way to put it. Let's just say she might be a bit gamey and leave it at that.

Lets not.

This thread has been dragged completely off topic now.

Locked.

Maple.