unprotected sex

jellybeans

Hi there I was just wondering did many of you practice unsafe sex ever with one night stands? I have on a couple of occasions either because the guy took off the condom!!! yes I know. Or because it came off, being drunk is also a factor. I am really annoyed with myself for leaving myself open to std's and hiv, hep etc. I was wondering though how many times honestly and recently were you unsafe.

Abi

jellybeans wrote: »

Hi there I was just wondering did many of you practice unsafe sex ever with one night stands? I have on a couple of occasions either because the guy took off the condom!!! yes I know. Or because it came off, being drunk is also a factor. I am really annoyed with myself for leaving myself open to std's and hiv, hep etc. I was wondering though how many times honestly and recently were you unsafe.

Are you actually seeking advice, or are you trying to justify what has happened with you?

Drink a little less, be a little more careful and you will be fine. I suggest you get a check up though, just to be sure and for your own peace of mind.

minidazzler

What do you mean the guy took off the condom? You let him continue after that?

Joey the lips

Judgeing by the hour and the post i think this might be a little emotional or a case of scotch! I would thread carefully! 2 threads infact!

dave98

jellybeans wrote: »

Hi there I was just wondering did many of you practice unsafe sex ever with one night stands? I have on a couple of occasions either because the guy took off the condom!!! yes I know. Or because it came off, being drunk is also a factor. I am really annoyed with myself for leaving myself open to std's and hiv, hep etc. I was wondering though how many times honestly and recently were you unsafe.

well your just foolish

Eviledna

dave98 wrote: »

well your just foolish

That's helpful. Weather nice up there on your high horse?

Shít Happens. OP, please seek an STI test with your local IFPA asap, and practice safe sex from now on. As I said in your other thread, the risks simply aren't worth it. Let this be the last time you take the risk. Get tested and move on. Online stone-throwers won't help you.

To be honest, no, I wouldn't dream of it. Even a protected one night stand scares me (in case the condom were to break), so I just stay away from them for now. I'm sure you know yourself that it's very risky!

Novella

If you are hoping for other people to say they've had unprotected sex too so you can feel a bit better about it, I doubt you're going to get that here. Even if you did, you shouldn't think that because other people do it, it's ok. If you are having one night stands when you are drunk (or sober, in fact!) I would highly advise you to be more careful when it comes to your sexual health. Don't simply allow a guy to "take the condom off". Do you have any idea what you are leaving yourself open to?

You should definitely have a sexual health check up to make sure that you are in the clear or if not, be treated because some STI's can show no symptoms but be quite damaging.

Perhaps before you engage in sexual activities again, you should educate yourself further on the risks. Good luck.

jellybeans

well I didnt know until after that he had taken the condom off. Im just curious because speaking to any of my friends through out the years most people have a slip at some stage. Fair play to those of you that have never had a slip up but really this post is just for people that have. Just wondering what the general goings on are out there.

oh also, I am getting a test some where, just looking at the moment and don't worry Im old enough to be aware of the risks in having unprotected sex. Unfortunately for me I have taken those risks, I do now regret that but onwards and upwards hopefully!

Boston

I think you need to examine whats driving you to have unprotected sex with strangers. If this is happening often then their must be some underline reason for it, perhaps you seek to get pregnant, perhaps it is a simply fetish. Whatever the reason, there are undoubtedly safter ways to deal with it.

minidazzler wrote: »

What do you mean the guy took off the condom? You let him continue after that?

There's a type of person out there who likes to discretely remove condoms without their partners knowledge. It may not be a case of "let" and you shouldn't jump to that conclusion even if it turns out to be true.

To others:
Moralising sexual behaviour is seldom helpful.

jellybeans

well It's not as if Im going out to have unprotected sex but in my entire life, being honest it's probably happened 3 times. Im not really even sexualy active but I did have a 2 one night stands in the past 6 months and one guy took the condom off and the other the condom came off. Thats the first time i had had sex in about a year and a half so its not like Im promiscuous or anything.

Boston wrote: »

I think you need to examine whats driving you to have unprotected sex with strangers. If this is happening often then their must be some underline reason for it, perhaps you seek to get pregnant, perhaps it is a simply fetish. Whatever the reason, there are undoubtedly safter ways to deal with it.



There's a type of person out there who likes to discretely remove condoms without their partners knowledge. It may not be a case of "let" and you shouldn't jump to that conclusion even if it turns out to be true.

To others:
Moralising sexual behaviour is seldom helpful.

Snowie

Novella wrote: »

If you are hoping for other people to say they've had unprotected sex too so you can feel a bit better about it, I doubt you're going to get that here. Even if you did, you shouldn't think that because other people do it, it's ok. If you are having one night stands when you are drunk (or sober, in fact!) I would highly advise you to be more careful when it comes to your sexual health. Don't simply allow a guy to "take the condom off". Do you have any idea what you are leaving yourself open to?

You should definitely have a sexual health check up to make sure that you are in the clear or if not, be treated because some STI's can show no symptoms but be quite damaging.

Perhaps before you engage in sexual activities again, you should educate yourself further on the risks. Good luck.

wow Im so impressed by that post actually you make you self sound pretty anal... congrats on that maybe go out there and experence life.:rolleyes:


Op yeah unfortunatly some people do fall in that trap its like anything else... dont mind the people who talk to you like there so morally correct because to be honest I wouldnt...

How ever, yeah its happened i wouldnt take my condom of on a girl thats plain imoral but we all at one point or another get a bit caught up in the moment happened to me a few times always got checked up tho....

tho if your sleeping with guys who take the condom of maybe you should look at the type of men you go for....

The_Minister

Boston wrote: »

I think you need to examine whats driving you to have unprotected sex with strangers. If this is happening often then their must be some underline reason for it, perhaps you seek to get pregnant, perhaps it is a simply fetish. Whatever the reason, there are undoubtedly safter ways to deal with it.

Boston wrote: »

To others:
Moralising sexual behaviour is seldom helpful.

*Cough*
*Splutter*

Novella

jellybeans wrote: »

well I didnt know until after that he had taken the condom off. Im just curious because speaking to any of my friends through out the years most people have a slip at some stage. Fair play to those of you that have never had a slip up but really this post is just for people that have. Just wondering what the general goings on are out there.

oh also, I am getting a test some where, just looking at the moment and don't worry Im old enough to be aware of the risks in having unprotected sex. Unfortunately for me I have taken those risks, I do now regret that but onwards and upwards hopefully!

I didn't mean to seem like a b!tch in my post just there btw! I have had unprotected sex, whilst in relationships though. I was just hoping you knew how dangerous it is, especially considering with a ONS you don't know the other persons sexual history.

I hope everything turns out ok for you

The_Minister

I have no personal knowledge of this, but I would imagine that if a guy purposely whips off a condom without telling you, then chances are he has done it before, and so his chances of having a disease would be higher than usual.

So if unprotected sex is inherently risky, then unprotected sex with someone who often has unprotected sex is ultra risky.

Novella

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

wow Im so impressed by that post actually you make you self sound pretty anal... congrats on that maybe go out there and experence life.:rolleyes:

Attack the post, not the poster??? If you don't like what I've said, report it.

jellybeans

OK ye I know all the risks and I am aware of how you can contract diseases etc, I know it's stupid and dangerous and irresponsible and when I realised the guy had removed the condom I thought he was a scum bag and swore to be more careful in future but here now in this post I am just wondering about other peoples experiences and whether they have done it .

The_Minister wrote: »

I have no personal knowledge of this, but I would imagine that if a guy purposely whips off a condom without telling you, then chances are he has done it before, and so his chances of having a disease would be higher than usual.

So if unprotected sex is inherently risky, then unprotected sex with someone who often has unprotected sex is ultra risky.

Rondolfus

jellybeans wrote: »

well It's not as if Im going out to have unprotected sex but in my entire life, being honest it's probably happened 3 times. Im not really even sexualy active but I did have a 2 one night stands in the past 6 months and one guy took the condom off and the other the condom came off. Thats the first time i had had sex in about a year and a half so its not like Im promiscuous or anything.

If you're having sex you're sexually active. Having unprotected sex 3 times on one night stands is actually quite a lot. Its 3 times too many. You know you need to get checked out, for your own sake and also for any future partners.

You can almost guarantee that if you have a one night stand with someone and they don't use contraceptives correctly (or at all), its not the first time.

jellybeans

I think this is funny, before i get accused of taking sexual health funny I meant "funny" as in "strange". I am in my thirties and have a lot of girl friends and ALL have had unprotected sex. I am not exaggerating ALL have had unprotected sex. 3 times is more then it should be I agree but Im talking about in the last 13 years!

Rondolfus wrote: »

If you're having sex you're sexually active. Having unprotected sex 3 times on one night stands is actually quite a lot. Its 3 times too many. You know you need to get checked out, for your own sake and also for any future partners.

You can almost guarantee that if you have a one night stand with someone and they don't use contraceptives correctly (or at all), its not the first time.

minidazzler

jellybeans wrote: »

I think this is funny. I am in my thirties and have a lot of girl friends and ALL have had unprotected sex. I am not exaggerating ALL have had unprotected sex. 3 times is more then it should be I agree but Im talking about in the last 13 years!

Very few people here are judging you, they are simply saying it's a terrible Idea.

I would wager 75% of this forum who are sexually active have had unprotected sex. But for the most part those would have been with partners who they actually know.

It's not your fault that the condom came off, or that cnut of a fella whipped it off. Which Is one thing I will never understand, why take off the thing protecting me from diseases.

But the fact of the matter is it happened so get tested and I wish you the best of luck with it.

To the best of my knowledge when you get tested it's not for All things unless you ask for it. so make sure you ask for a test for ALL diseases.

kenon

jellybeans wrote: »

I think this is funny, before i get accused of taking sexual health funny I meant "funny" as in "strange". I am in my thirties and have a lot of girl friends and ALL have had unprotected sex. I am not exaggerating ALL have had unprotected sex. 3 times is more then it should be I agree but Im talking about in the last 13 years!

I don't think anyone on here was goin' to jump on board with you and say "ahh yeh sure we've all had a few scares, its life". There is obviously people reading this that has but they most likely won't post.

Just watch out for the chaps tryin' to pull a sneaky one. Shout at him, "What are you playin' at ye little bastard!!!".

Get tested and have a clean start were you don't get caught out again.

Snowie

Novella wrote: »

Attack the post, not the poster???

Was'nt attacking you, was saying how it was! there is a huge difference if you can't distingusih those your problem not mine!

Novella wrote: »

If you don't like what I've said, report it.

yeah sure il waste mods/admin personal time on trivial posts like that:rolleyes:...

Cookie Jar

"Unprotected Sex: A third of people reported that they have had sex with a person without knowing their partner's sexual history. These people were taking a risk and not inquiring about sexually transmitted diseases."

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/356630/do_you_know_your_sex_statistics_.html?cat=41

jellybeans

jellybeans wrote: »

I think this is funny, before i get accused of taking sexual health funny I meant "funny" as in "strange". I am in my thirties and have a lot of girl friends and ALL have had unprotected sex. I am not exaggerating ALL have had unprotected sex. 3 times is more then it should be I agree but Im talking about in the last 13 years!

But what does it matter if other people do it? What does it matter if it was 'only' three times? It's not going to make you less likely to have contracted an STI. The type of person who happily whips off a condom is more likely than most to have an STI (or several!) The likes of chlamydia are VERY easily transmitted, and the chances of you having it are high. Unprotected sex with strangers is the biggest risk factor there is. I'm not trying to scare you but it's true. I fear that you are trying to reassure yourself that you're fine and don't need to get tested. If I were you, I definitely would go and get tested. It's not that you should be worried, but it is much better to make sure everything is OK (and if it isn't, do something to fix it/treat it).

fryer99

[quote=[Deleted User];62476128]But what does it matter if other people do it? What does it matter if it was 'only' three times? It's not going to make you less likely to have contracted an STI. The type of person who happily whips off a condom is more likely than most to have an STI (or several!) The likes of chlamydia are VERY easily transmitted, and the chances of you having it are high. Unprotected sex with strangers is the biggest risk factor there is. I'm not trying to scare you but it's true. I fear that you are trying to reassure yourself that you're fine and don't need to get tested. If I were you, I definitely would go and get tested. It's not that you should be worried, but it is much better to make sure everything is OK (and if it isn't, do something to fix it/treat it).[/quote]

So you're saying you have the same chances of contracting an STI no matter if you have unprotected sex 1 or 1000 times? You're wrong there! Granted, there is a chance but its not like she's going out every weekend doing it. She has stated more than once that she is not looking for people to come on and tell her its ok to do it, she's just wondering how many people have done it.

I had unprotected sex on a one night stand years ago, I spent months worrying about it, never again! you live and learn!

Nervous Wreck

I reckon everyone needs to take a bit of a chill-pill here for a second. Whether or not people meant their posts to come across how they did, the thread now looks like a totally "Us vs. Jellybean" type of buzz. Firstly, people started treating it like a PI and giving 'sagely' advice and then some just started jumping on the moral bandwagon. Chill out.

Despite what ye may be thinking (albeit offhandedly), it's probable that the OP just had an experience and would like to talk about it and relate with other people about it. She claims in no part of her post to be looking for advice or any sort of moral restitution. She has simply had an experience that, evidently, made her upset and she'd like to verbalise it. It helps to talk things out, remember? That's why we have a PI forum. Half the people in PI aren't really looking for advice, they just want to externalise their feelings so they can see it in print and deal with it themselves. The OP seriously doesn't need to be chastised for venting. Thought we were supposed to be a supportive group in here....?

I'm not trying to high-horse here btw, it just seems like no one is really taking up for the OP (aside from Snow Monkey) and that's kinda not cool....



Anyway, OP, yep I've had unprotected sex in LTRs and on ONSs... LTR unprotected sex is classssssssssssss. In the case of a ONS though, it left me feeling very nervous, though thankfully never amounted to anything. I was lucky. I shan't be doing it again!

shellyboo

minidazzler wrote: »

I would wager 75% of this forum who are sexually active have had unprotected sex. But for the most part those would have been with partners who they actually know.

.

Knowing someone doesn't mean they don't have any STIs. It's not one bit more responsible to have unprotected sex with someone you've known for months than someone you've known for hours.

Unless you've both gotten tested - something I'd wager few couples do before having unprotected sex - you're taking pretty much the same risk as sleeping with a stranger.

The OP knows she's been exposed, there's no need for a witch hunt. OP, I've had unprtected sex under the same conditions as you... Some sly asshole took the condom off and claimed it "fell off". I got tested and luckily I was fine.

I'd say there are plenty of people in here who've had similar slip-ups, but don't have the balls to admit it.

fryer99

I still am reeling from the fact that a lad would take a condom off and say nothing.

fryer99

fryer99 wrote: »

So you're saying you have the same chances of contracting an STI no matter if you have unprotected sex 1 or 1000 times? You're wrong there! Granted, there is a chance but its not like she's going out every weekend doing it. She has stated more than once that she is not looking for people to come on and tell her its ok to do it, she's just wondering how many people have done it.

I had unprotected sex on a one night stand years ago, I spent months worrying about it, never again! you live and learn!

There is a high chance of contracting an STI when you have unprotected sex with someone who has unprotected sex (and if they do it with you, they've done it with how many others?) Once is all it takes. You don't need to be out every weekend doing it. That is exactly what the campaigns are trying to point out. It isn't alarmist, it's just a fact. STI's like chlamydia have a very high rate of transmission. Many, many people get it from being with just one person, or a very low number. There's no need to spend months worrying about it. Test results take 1-2 weeks to come back, then that's it.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Iv had a lot of unprotected sex.....luckily, havent contracted anything....so far.