So how much do you spend on Santa?

Hellrazer

Following on form the "Dog called Biscuit" thread I feel that this needs a thread all of its own.

Well,
How much do you spend or will spend on Santa per child?
Do you have any set rules?
Or do you just buy them everything they want regardless?

We allow them to pick 2 presents each from Santa and we pick them up a couple of surprises and stocking fillers.

Spend?We kinda base it on the kids ages--By that I mean we wont be spending 2 or 3 hundred euro on the 1.5 or 3 year old but the 7 year old wants a bike so he`ll get that and something small.
The 11 year will probably have a similar amount spent on her aswell though.

This year we`ve 4 for Santa 1.5,3 and 7,11.

1.5 year old is Doll mad so she`ll probably get her Doll and buggy that she keeps robbing on the 3 year old
3 year old wants a playhouse and dolls clothes.
7 year old wants a bicycle and ben 10 stuff
and 11 year old wants a Telescope and new phone.
After that its down to what we pick them up.

eviltwin

I've only the one whose 12 and no longer believes but when she did we used to leave it to a maximum of 70.00 euros.

I always think its best to be a bit modest at Xmas and save the big gifts for birthdays. My parents were quite badly off during my childhood and could never spend much so I was always left feeling very down because my presents were never as flash as anyone else's and its always stuck with me.

Now she no longer believes we're just going to give her the money instead.

Khannie

We'd play it by ear but generally spend 100-150 ish on Santa for the youngfella (12). Occasionally we throw caution to the wind and get him something big (this year for his birthday we got him a trip to Anfield, but that was a whopper of a present. Last year his birthday pressie cost 125). Last christmas we were away at Christmas so the holiday was part of the Christmas pressie. Apart from the holiday I'd guess that we spent < 100 on his Christmas pressie and it was all stuff that we bought over there.

Last year the little one (who was just under 2 at the time) got about 30 euro spent on her. No idea what we'll spend on her this year, but it'll definitely be under 100 euro.

littlebug

We let them pick one thing that they want from Santa (within reason) and they usually get a big-ish present from us too (to make the inevitable a bit easier on them). They also get stocking fillers etc. I don't think we've ever gone over say 80 euro on one item and usually it's less (40-50) for the big present. That said the 7 year old needs a new bike this year so it will be a bit more. We tend to stock up on new books, dvds and art and craft stuff though to keep us all amused over xmas so overall I suppose we spend more on them than we think we are!

I can't believe we're talking about christmas already:o

we'llallhavetea_old

i have spent an astronomical amount of money every christmas so far, last year i nearly touched 1k on a four and a half yr old. ridiculous. i was spoiled rotten at christmas when i was a child so i've carried it on.
every christmas eve i panic thinking theres not enough. i feel really sorry for kids who get really little amounts because in my head i think, they think, "why did santy not think i was a good girl/boy" when comparing to the other children.
anywho, its not gonna be a very extravagant christmas this year, because i simply dont have it. but ideally, i think spend whatever you can. spoil the little rips rotten at christmas!

littlebug

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

i have spent an astronomical amount of money every christmas so far, last year i nearly touched 1k on a four and a half yr old. ridiculous. i was spoiled rotten at christmas when i was a child so i've carried it on.

Good God:eek: :eek:

we'llallhavetea_old

littlebug wrote: »

Good God:eek: :eek:

i had it posted before i realised it wasn't going to be the general theme....:o

Maddison

Ive been the same as we'llallhavetea, but this year is my first as a single parent & I think I will have to cut back quite a lot. I was thinking of getting him a laptop(he's 6) til one of my friends smacked me on the head so mabey I wont be getting the laptop. Other than that Ive no idea what Im getting him...wont be spending more than 300 though.

Khannie

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

i had it posted before i realised it wasn't going to be the general theme....:o

Ah I think this thread is all about honesty. Fair play to you for posting it. I appreciate it (though I also find it a "holy crap" amount).

edit: In the interest of being more up front: The holiday last Christmas was a month in Thailand and his plane ticket had cost around 700 euro so it depends how you look at it.

littlebug

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

i had it posted before i realised it wasn't going to be the general theme....:o

Sorry for my shocked faces:o. I don't think you're alone though... I'm often shocked at how much people spend and I'm surprised when I find out that we're at the lower end of the spending scale.

My two have never been anything less than delighted with what they've got at Christmas so I guess it's all relative

Hellrazer

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

last year i nearly touched 1k on a four and a half yr old. ridiculous.

Holy crap.How you even managed to spend that on a 4.5 year old is beyond me.

January

My daughters birthday is two weeks before Christmas so I think we'll get her her big present (she'll be one and getting a Smart Trike) for her birthday and then some small things for Christmas this year. I want to get her a little ride on car thingy (Mickey Mouse one!) and some v tech stuff for babies hopefully!

pickarooney

Judging by his reaction to the unbirthday present he got today, about 10 euros worth of bubble wrap for the young fella. His sister is far too young for Christmas, but maybe next year.

Wantobe

Not looking forward to trying to guess what they'd like for Christmas! Ours are 5 and 3. Last year we spent around 250 on the two of them, which was the most ever and totally got it wrong. Eldest wanted a Barbie Diamond Castle which she never mentioned once before Christmas morning when presents were opened and no Barbie. She saw another little girl with one at the childminders. She's very 'deep', thinks a lot but says very little, so trying to get information out of her is impossible. Poor little thing was very sick, running a very high temp and, worst of all, disappointed.

No idea what to get this year- well, we always buy a book and some small stocking fillers but the 'big present'? Help!

Last year was the first year they really understood Christmas so before that we often bought nothing at all because they got some presents from family and friends so we just put those under the tree and spent the money instead on things they needed.

stovelid

No offence but 1k for a four year old... :eek: You could have stashed half of that in a bank account for them instead...or treated yourself...

I'd probably spend a fair bit for a special present, like a football trip as mentioned already, but in general, I would be looking at a few hundred. Not really an issue yet cos my boy will only be 18 months old this Christmas.

Cookie Jar

Well my lil one still wont know whats goin on.. wil be two in feb.. last year I spent a fortune between clothes and toys.

In same boat as Maddison as this yr i will be a single parent.
have already spent 150 on her main presents.
But I have a feeling I will be runnin around last min thinking she wont have enough.
I have 500 saved for the rest. That will include clothes for over the xmas too:o

Its stupid really the amout that will be spent but when you only have one and they are your first it is hard not to.

Maddison

Cookie Jar wrote: »

In same boat as Maddison as this yr i will be a single parent.

Fancy setting up a club:D

The broke ass single mothers club:D

Cookie Jar

Maddison wrote: »

Fancy setting up a club:D

The broke ass single mothers club:D

Please.
I bought the present about a month ago so I wudnt have to struggle too much:pac:
To be honest Im lucky I have the money put aside. Good oul credit union xmas club:p

Moonbeam

My baby will be one on new years day:)
We have got baby born for her (the 1+ one) she is going to get loads of presents from friends and family and is not going to understand so will do the house up nice for her but not going over board for a few years:)

deisemum

My lads are 14 and almost 12 so no longer believe. They just want cash or vouchers for a sports shop.

We never set an amount on what they got for christmas but we didn't go mad. If they got a big present like a playstation it was between them. We always bulked out their presents with things that they needed like clothes, pyjamas, slippers, books, cinema tickets, etc

The one thing we've noticed is that as they get older the presents gets physically smaller but often more expensive.

This year I'm thinking of getting a laptop between them or else a trip to a premier league or international rugby match. They're happy with whatever they get anyway.

deisemum

Wantobe it might be worth asking your childminder to sound out your daughter and see if she can find out for you.

Wantobe

Thanks Deisemum. She started school this year and after that she is minded by our au-pair when I'm working. Our au-pair is brilliant with her but still no information. We wouldnt hear a thing about school, teacher, her friends-zero! It sounds funny but I was like that as a child too. I'm almost at the point where I let her watch tv just to let her see the ads! LOL.

deisemum

We used to get all the catalogues, Argos, Toymaster, ELC, World of Wonder and let them rummage through them.

Maybe suss out her friends nearer the time.

Hellrazer

deisemum wrote: »

We used to get all the catalogues, Argos, Toymaster, ELC, World of Wonder and let them rummage through them.

Maybe suss out her friends nearer the time.

Ours are scouring them from when they wake up till they go to bed.They`ll still change their minds on Xmas eve though.

Love2love

My son calls the argos catalogue the 'santa book'

I have already spend about 200euro on Christmas pressies with only 2 more to buy which will cost approx the same. I only have the one and my parents think I should leave it at what I already have as I have a big family who will be buying for him too.

littlebug

That's where the santa letter is handy;) Once it's been sent off they can't change their minds.

Cookie Jar

Love2love wrote: »

My son calls the argos catalogue the 'santa book'

I have already spend about 200euro on Christmas pressies with only 2 more to buy which will cost approx the same. I only have the one and my parents think I should leave it at what I already have as I have a big family who will be buying for him too.

Its really hard not to when its your only one isn't it? My mam is the same.

For my lil girls first xmas I had way too many presents. She couldn't even open them, then played with the wrapping paper.:pac:

ebmma

Cookie Jar wrote: »

She couldn't even open them, then played with the wrapping paper.:pac:

that's why i think there's no point in spending a fortune on presents for small kids.
they get so much fun out of simple inexpensive things and the world is all new to them so it is mostly an excuse for a parent to spend money rather than something a child will enjoy.

Tim Robbins

I am reading this interesting thread as somone who is going to a father this november :-)

I hate spoilt kids. My stradegy will be to push the kids to imaginative, educational presents. Also, I'd like to bring them up with a broad world view.
So if they ask me for something like an IPod or fancy pair of runners, I like to ask them to give me a presentation on how kids their age in various countries of the world live. This would be hoping to initiate a rational discussion where their expectations reasonable i.e. get them to think a bit? I'd also challenge them to give a percentage of their present entitlement to charity.

As your all parents what do you think?

What recked my head growing up was I was just told a blunt NO rather than it reasoned out. I think I would have accepted no if it was well reasoned.

Your thoughts...

lasair

Tim Robbins wrote: »

I am reading this interesting thread as somone who is going to a father this november :-)

I hate spoilt kids. My stradegy will be to push the kids to imaginative, educational presents. Also, I'd like to bring them up with a broad world view.
So if they ask me for something like an IPod or fancy pair of runners, I like to ask them to give me a presentation on how kids their age in various countries of the world live. This would be hoping to initiate a rational discussion where their expectations reasonable i.e. get them to think a bit? I'd also challenge them to give a percentage of their present entitlement to charity.

As your all parents what do you think?

What recked my head growing up was I was just told a blunt NO rather than it reasoned out. I think I would have accepted no if it was well reasoned.

Your thoughts...

I agree.. Growing uo I had no video games or fancy brand name stuff cos the money wasn there but we always got eudcational presents as well as normal toys...loved them to bits..when my god child was born her first christmas i plagued her will books and earrly learning toys... I think they are better to give than an ipod..like seriously an eight yr old with an ipod..i didn have one til i was 20....

ebmma

Tim Robbins wrote: »

I hate spoilt kids. My stradegy will be to push the kids to imaginative, educational presents. Also, I'd like to bring them up with a broad world view.

I'm going to be a mother next February, so similar level of experience
However I don't think you should 'push' kids toward some specific presents.
I mean you effectively control every aspect of their life anyway and come presents time you are going to 'push' them again?

Do you mean "No, no doll for you, have a telescope and get educated!" sort of thing?

Also imaginative for who? What does it mean?

What sort of toys do you play yourself?

Cookie Jar

Tim Robbins wrote: »

I am reading this interesting thread as somone who is going to a father this november :-)

I hate spoilt kids. My stradegy will be to push the kids to imaginative, educational presents. Also, I'd like to bring them up with a broad world view.
So if they ask me for something like an IPod or fancy pair of runners, I like to ask them to give me a presentation on how kids their age in various countries of the world live. This would be hoping to initiate a rational discussion where their expectations reasonable i.e. get them to think a bit? I'd also challenge them to give a percentage of their present entitlement to charity.

As your all parents what do you think?

What recked my head growing up was I was just told a blunt NO rather than it reasoned out. I think I would have accepted no if it was well reasoned.

Your thoughts...

At the start I said I wouldnt spoil my daughter. Hard not to sometimes.
If I'm buying her something I usually buy a book or a simple jigsaw (the ones you fit shapes in) as she is only 20months.
But while playin in her cousins she discovered the doll and pram. I never wanted her to play with them really.
But I gave in. She is delighted with her doll and pram.

But books are the way to go. My lil girl loves them.

littlebug

lol I have visions of baby TR 2 years old with his powerpoint presentation on Third World Poverty

To an extent I think you're right. I'd spend any amount of money on books and requests for books are always granted. I would have always tried to put an emphasis on educational toys but really when all my daughter wanted from santa was that fluffy pink unicorn ...:o I do try to balance things though. As I said earlier they get a santa present and a mammy and daddy present so if the santa present is a fluffy pink unicorn the other present will be something more brain engaging. They always get some books... but that's a year round thing anyway.

Instilling a sense of how other kids live is difficult until they reach a certain age. Understanding how other people live will not stop them wanting something but I don't think it's any harm to instil a sense of charity as long as it's not associated with guilt. So far I think I've been reasonably successful with the "just because other people have it doesn't mean we have to get it" idea. Different families have different rules and different ways of doing things. I also make a point of emphasising the things from our family that make them luckier than others so that they don't have a feeling of being deprived!

Tim Robbins

littlebug wrote: »

I also make a point of emphasising the things from our family that make them luckier than others so that they don't have a feeling of being deprived!

I think pointing out how little kids in Africa have should make them realise they are not deprived.

Cookie Jar

littlebug wrote: »

Instilling a sense of how other kids live is difficult until they reach a certain age. Understanding how other people live will not stop them wanting something but I don't think it's any harm to instil a sense of charity as long as it's not associated with guilt.

Just on this point, last year we received so many presents we gave a couple to charity shop.
Then I thought it would be a good idea if every year one present should be picked by the child to be given to the charity shop.
I will be doing it until daughter is old enough to decide anyways.

ebmma

Tim Robbins wrote: »

I think pointing out how little kids in Africa have should make them realise they are not deprived.

I think this is too far removed. It is hard to make grown ups think about African kids.
It needs to be something closer to home, something they can see as actually happening.

Maybe very sick kids in Ireland or homeless kids.

littlebug

I think the samaritans purse shoe box appeal is actually a pretty good way of getting them thinking about poverty too (as long as the child is involved in filling the box) and doing something about it. It gets us talking and when they see the things that are going in to the box ie not just toys but toothbrushes and hats etc they get some sort of understanding that it's not just about the child not getting toys at Christmas and because the box is aimed at a child their own age and gender there's some level of identification going on.

Tim Robbins

ebmma wrote: »

I think this is too far removed. It is hard to make grown ups think about African kids.
It needs to be something closer to home, something they can see as actually happening.

Maybe very sick kids in Ireland or homeless kids.

I disagree. It should be both. Do we want the next generation to be selfish or have a very narrow world view?

I think we have some responsibility here.

I am not a religious person but I thought the idea of a Trocaire Box was brilliant.

ebmma

Tim Robbins wrote: »

I disagree. It should be both. Do we want the next generation to be selfish or have a very narrow world view?

I think we have some responsibility here.

I am not a religious person but I thought the idea of a Trocaire Box was brilliant.

It is too far removed for a young child, imo. I would start closer to home and then extend it to Africa and other places. Maybe over 4 when they are more interested in different countries and cultures it'll make more sense to them.

Actually this reminds of that book, "Pollyanna". There's a bit where she meets this local boy in need of help and goes to the local church group to ask for it and they tell her they only help African kids. Poor girl gets very confused they don't want to help her little friend who is right here I don't remember the details, but I'm sure you get what I mean

Wantobe

I think sometimes people who don't have children have an idealistic view of how they will raise them or unrealistic expectations of how much a child will understand at young ages.

I have a three year old and a five year old. I could probably just about explain to the five year old that there are children in the world who live in poverty etc etc. I'm not sure how much she would understand it and I'm not sure how it would affect her. My instinct would be to shield her from the worse aspects of life until she is older. For example she understands that people die, sadly because of the death of someone very close to her, and it is something that pre-occupies her, she worries about it. I've told her he is in heaven now but she wants to know why he can't come down to see her or why she can't talk to him on the phone and she worries that maybe I'll go to heaven and if I do, I won't be able to come back.

She's a worrier, she has a big heart- I'm not sure information about starving children would be suitable. There is enough hardship in life as one gets older, surely? I'd prefer her childhood to be worry free, or at least as much as I can make it.

Anyway, sorry for being so off-topic!

Tim Robbins

Wantobe wrote: »

I think sometimes people who don't have children have an idealistic view of how they will raise them or unrealistic expectations of how much a child will understand at young ages.

I have a three year old and a five year old. I could probably just about explain to the five year old that there are children in the world who live in poverty etc etc. I'm not sure how much she would understand it and I'm not sure how it would affect her. My instinct would be to shield her from the worse aspects of life until she is older. For example she understands that people die, sadly because of the death of someone very close to her, and it is something that pre-occupies her, she worries about it. I've told her he is in heaven now but she wants to know why he can't come down to see her or why she can't talk to him on the phone and she worries that maybe I'll go to heaven and if I do, I won't be able to come back.

She's a worrier, she has a big heart- I'm not sure information about starving children would be suitable. There is enough hardship in life as one gets older, surely? I'd prefer her childhood to be worry free, or at least as much as I can make it.

Anyway, sorry for being so off-topic!

Some good points Wantobe. There's a big difference between parenting in the real world and the idealistic world. I accept that.

I think it's about getting the balance right. You don't want to smother a child in the misery of the world but you should be able to instill a sense of ethics at the sametime.

That would mean sometimes not taking the easy option, and stuffing a kid with toys but actually making them think. Obviously 3 / 5 is too young for this but I think as they progress a bit towards teenage years it's a conversation / discussion worth having.

There's a brilliant film about Charles Darwin in the Cinema right now. It deals with him not being able to hide from the truth his genuis had discoverd. Nature is a cruel place. There's a scene in it where he shows his children a fox eating a rabbit teaching them about how nature works. It's true but when / how do you explain this things isn't easy.

Khannie

Tim Robbins wrote: »

So if they ask me for something like an IPod or fancy pair of runners, I like to ask them to give me a presentation on how kids their age in various countries of the world live. This would be hoping to initiate a rational discussion where their expectations reasonable i.e. get them to think a bit? I'd also challenge them to give a percentage of their present entitlement to charity.

Seriously? Would you really do that?

If the answer is yes: did you think about the kids in Africa when you bought your TV or your last holiday or whatever?

I'm not trying to pick a fight here. I just think that sometimes it's nice to get that iPod or whatever you've been dreaming about for the last 6 months without having to give a presentation on other children starving to death.

Tim Robbins wrote: »

What recked my head growing up was I was just told a blunt NO rather than it reasoned out. I think I would have accepted no if it was well reasoned.

My thoughts: You make your decisions based on lots of things that they shouldn't necessarily be subjected to, like how much money is in the bank, how upset you are about X,Y or Z on a particular day (and therefore don't want to go to the playground) and so on. Sometimes I'll give an explanation, but mostly I wont because it leads to the expectation of one and I don't always want to give it (for whatever reason).

Tim Robbins

Khannie wrote: »

Seriously? Would you really do that?

If the answer is yes: did you think about the kids in Africa when you bought your TV or your last holiday or whatever?

Yes. I set myself goals for how much I give, give it to the most effective charity, and give up time for volunteer work.

I haven't bought a new TV since 1997.

I'm not trying to pick a fight here. I just think that sometimes it's nice to get that iPod or whatever you've been dreaming about for the last 6 months without having to give a presentation on other children starving to death.

Of course it's nice to get the new iPod. But that doesn't mean it's right.

My thoughts: You make your decisions based on lots of things that they shouldn't necessarily be subjected to, like how much money is in the bank, how upset you are about X,Y or Z on a particular day (and therefore don't want to go to the playground) and so on. Sometimes I'll give an explanation, but mostly I wont because it leads to the expectation of one and I don't always want to give it (for whatever reason).

I think for younger years I wouldn't bombard them with reality. But I'd challenge them to use their imagination. So say they want something, I'd give them a goal like say "write me a song" or even "in return for helping your Mum".

Then when they were a bit older I'd challenge them a bit more. You want Nike runners, give me a presentation on the worker practises and how they run their sweat shops.

I think the consumerist philosophy (get the latest iPoD) is very very shallow intellectually, philosophically and it's also pretty poor for imagination and morals.

More importantly, I don't think it can provide genuine happiness. I can't stand the keeping up with the Jones malarky. There's something magical and far more beautiful about doing something that has stronger sense of morality or imagination.

I'd like to teach my kids that.

There's a very good book called "The Life you can Safe" it's not a parenting book per se but a very interesting read for any adult.
Make it to the end and you'll change your opinions, I guarentee you.

Khannie

Tim Robbins wrote: »

You want Nike runners, give me a presentation on the worker practises and how they run their sweat shops.

It's not possible to ethically purchase everything. You just can't be sure what the conditions were like for every single person who helped manufacture every single thing you buy. Where do you draw the line like? A presentation on hunger before dinner time? (rhetorical question)

Tim Robbins wrote: »

I think the consumerist philosophy (get the latest iPoD) is very very shallow intellectually, philosophically and it's also pretty poor for imagination and morals.

There's a consumerist philosophy now? I don't buy myself much. To be blunt I can't afford to. There are lots of cheap and cheerful ways to enjoy life and I make the most of them. Do I want a nice shiny 50 inch TV? You bet your ass I do. Is my happiness dependent on it? Of course not. Are my "imagination and morals" poor because I want a shiny 50 inch TV? Am I shallow intellectually and philosophically as you suggest? Don't be daft man.

Tim Robbins wrote: »

There's a very good book called "The Life you can Safe" it's not a parenting book per se but a very interesting read for any adult.
Make it to the end and you'll change your opinions, I guarentee you.

Look.....Your post come across (to me at least) as very superior and smug. Like you're looking down on me from your lofty moral heights. Well...my morals are pretty decent thanks very much. I make a sincere effort to purchase ethically. Am I gonna get my kid a game boy for Christmas if he asks for one though? Sure. He's a good kid. Do I think he needs to know how crap the world is while he's still enjoying the innocence of childhood? Nope.

eviltwin

I hate spoilt kids too and am very aware of the have and have nots in society..whatever about africa I think its more of an impact to see kids in your own neighbourhood and the differences between them.


As a parent I've always wanted my child to be more aware of whats out there. I grew up in poverty and it had a profound affect on me and the way I raise her but I can understand people from a comfortable background not even thinking about it when they have kids of their own

I do believe that a lot of the pressure to give the best gift isnt from the kids themselves who want to be like the rest of their peers..I think a lot of the time we parents compensate or try to for the lack of time we spend with our kids by showering them with crap

In my experience my daughter has always been as happy with the xmas kitty of 50 euros as she ever was with the more expensive stuff

I've a 13 year old .... I rarely spend less than €500 per year on Christmas. As kids get older, their requests get more specific, and they get more expensive, especially when they start asking for the electronics, such as Playstations, DSi, ipods, that kind of thing.

Kimono-Girl

our daughter is going to be 6 months this christmas and since its her first we are looking to splash out a bit, but by splash out we mean a nice christmas tree...dinner...decorations...christmas clothes for her and lots of photos so she can see it herself when she's older...

as for toys we are getting her stacking cups and blocks and maybe another toy for her age group! not exactly breaking the bank....


luckily for me my parents were seperated...as my dad raised my half sister totally different to me kind of like you were mentioning Tim.... what he did not realise and has come to realise now she is in her teens, is he was wrong....he wouldnt buy her barbie instead he got her cheaper alternatives like magazines and books, he tried teaching her all about the kids in the third world so she wouldnt spend the whole €5 on sweets and think of them instead, he tried the if you dont do chores you get no money thing and stuck to it rigidly to the point she missed out on things her friends had...he wouldnt get her an ipod and a mobile wasnt allowed until she was 16 and old enough to 'appreciate' them...and now the big things are all that matter to her.

now she won't spend money on anything, is jealous of her 'friends' for having more stuff than her such as wii's, ipods, and thus is isolated from people her age, she is slower to develop than my mums daughter despite being a year older and is now i am sad to say meaner than him with cash! she won't give it to anyone even to herself, its saved in the credit union and will stay there till she dies...

on the other hand my mum used spoil (if you could call it that she saved all year round) us at christmas we'd get our 1 big toy....ipod/computer/bike/rollerblades etc....and small toys such as monopoly and books she made a point of always buying books and she found we did enjoy the smaller things more but because we never missed out on the big things they didnt become an issue...


so yes santa will be buying my daughter a ipod/ds/bike/fancy runners probally when she hits primary school and meets peer pressure and bikes and barbies become important but i think its a small price to pay to see her happy at christmas she will learn all about the other disadvantaged kids and problems in society when she is older...in my opinion its down to parenting whether or not a child is a spoilt brat not how much santa spent.

IsThatSo?

Tim Robbins wrote: »

I think for younger years I wouldn't bombard them with reality. But I'd challenge them to use their imagination. So say they want something, I'd give them a goal like say "write me a song" or even "in return for helping your Mum".

Then when they were a bit older I'd challenge them a bit more. You want Nike runners, give me a presentation on the worker practises and how they run their sweat shops.

I think the consumerist philosophy (get the latest iPoD) is very very shallow intellectually, philosophically and it's also pretty poor for imagination and morals.

More importantly, I don't think it can provide genuine happiness. I can't stand the keeping up with the Jones malarky. There's something magical and far more beautiful about doing something that has stronger sense of morality or imagination.

I'd like to teach my kids that.

I admire that you want your future children to become adults with a social conscience, I believe that most parents want this for their children

I personally would not choose to get my children to give me a presentation on worker practices before any of them got a pair of runners, I can't see this being effective in achieving what you want, at any age tbh. I feel this type of tactic runs the risk of my children not approaching me, which has much wider implications for other important aspects of their lives such as emotional wellbeing, sharing problems, asking for help etc

In our house my 7 year old gets a big present for Christmas and for his birthday. He also gets other smaller presents that I think he would enjoy, either as educational tools or just for plain fun

He saves his pocket money or money he gets as gifts to buy himself things throughout the year. We didn't set out, as parents, with this in mind, it has evolved since he started getting pocket money. He did get a gift when his school report came in as it was excellent and we set a limit of €10, he only spent €6. I do not seek approval from anyone for this, it works for us but may not work for everyone.

The evolving thing is important because we all learn about parenting as we go along

My son has no idea what he wants from Santa this year, but he will get his main pressie. I know when he is older he will want the branded runners or jeans, or whatever else is "in", and he can have them as presents for Christmas or birthday, otherwise he can save up for them during the year, same as he does now

He is aware of starving children in Africa, its covered in the school curriculum, but tbh its "out there" somewhere for him and he finds it hard to relate to it just now. When he asks we talk about it, but we follow his lead and take it at his pace. I would never ever tell him to eat all his dinner as there are starving children in Africa who would wish for his food, he is not responsible for the state of the world, but I hope he can do his bit in helping to resolve some of these problems when he reaches adulthood

Keeping up with the Jones's is wrong, no doubt about it, but there is a middle ground..............until you are a parent its difficult to understand how rocky this middle ground can be sometimes

Enjoy your journey with your child, it goes by so quickly

eviltwin

Isthatso is right. I think its really important kids are aware of the less fortunate in society and that they are raised to have a social conscience but there is a time and a place.

I would hate for my two to be materialistic but I'm not about to have a lecture about the lesser offs everytime I give them a gift or something. I dont think kids should be made to feel guilty about what they have. I want my two to be proud of the fact that they have gone out and earned something nice for themselves be that a holiday, a nice car or a new outfit.

There has to be balance. I think spending vast sums of cash on kids who are too young to really understand the value of it is stupid and pointless. I think Tim is right that not everything should be just handed to kids on a plate. But I think there is no harm is having the odd occasion where you give your child something just because you can.

You'll know yourself as your child grows up what camp they fall into. If they start demanding the lastest whatever because "all my mates have it" then probably the damage has been done lol

stovelid

Tim Robbins wrote: »

Yes. I set myself goals for how much I give, give it to the most effective charity, and give up time for volunteer work.

I haven't bought a new TV since 1997.


Of course it's nice to get the new iPod. But that doesn't mean it's right.



I think for younger years I wouldn't bombard them with reality. But I'd challenge them to use their imagination. So say they want something, I'd give them a goal like say "write me a song" or even "in return for helping your Mum".

Then when they were a bit older I'd challenge them a bit more. You want Nike runners, give me a presentation on the worker practises and how they run their sweat shops.

I think the consumerist philosophy (get the latest iPoD) is very very shallow intellectually, philosophically and it's also pretty poor for imagination and morals.

More importantly, I don't think it can provide genuine happiness. I can't stand the keeping up with the Jones malarky. There's something magical and far more beautiful about doing something that has stronger sense of morality or imagination.

I'd like to teach my kids that.

There's a very good book called "The Life you can Safe" it's not a parenting book per se but a very interesting read for any adult.
Make it to the end and you'll change your opinions, I guarentee you.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Modern_Parents

big syke

Tim Robbins wrote: »

So say they want something, I'd give them a goal like say "write me a song" or even "in return for helping your Mum".

I think that would only teach children to do only things because they'd expect to get something in return. Thats a terrible habbit to instill in them. Would you not like to ever give your child something as a gift or becasue you want to treat them.

What would happen when they get older? They will only get their fiancé an engagement ring if she cooks dinner for a month? Come on get real...


Anyway first xmas as santa for me!! My daughter will only be 6 months so only gettin a few bits and pieces but i know when shes 3/4 i will go ninja on presents!! Cant wait!!!!!!!