The most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?

Fago!

Mine? Today I was caught wankin'. By my Dad!:o

He walks into the livin' room too see me, pants at ankles watchin the best of Kylie Minogue.* He quickly grabbed whatever he was lookin' for and left.

Things between me and him are awkward enough as it is (Dunno why exactly). He acted real cool and said "It's alright" but I know he's tellin his friends at the moment, who'll tell their sons (Who are my friends) and I know he'll tell my mam, and she'll tell my sister, and she'll tell her mates.... AAAAHHHHH THE HORROR!!! I can't look at him now.:o

I hope you'll make me feel a little bit better with your red faced moments.

Also, the worst thing is, I couldn't finish after he left cause all I could see was his judgemental face.:o

I should clarify HE was out at the time. Iwas alone in the house and the front door was locked. He's usually mad loud opeming the front door but today he was like a ninja.

Sleipnir

In the living room?? Use the bathroom or your bedroom you sick bastard!

And you tried to finish?

Fago!

Sleipnir wrote: »

In the living room?? Use the bathroom or your bedroom you sick bastard!

And you tried to finish?

The toilet is too uncomfortable.

Was gonna try finish but I was too horrified.

Blazer

Fago_25 wrote: »

The toilet is too uncomfortable.

Was gonna try finish but I was too horrified.

ur a sick sick puppy :eek:

renraw

ahahahahaha if its true ahahahaha

Sleipnir

Oh, well so long as your comfortable :rolleyes:

Sorry, I'm not going to relieve your embarrassment by offering my own moments. You'll just have to live with it.
I just hope your old man calls the parish priest in to have a little talk with you and hear your confession.:pac:

In future, hide your shame!

Lux23

Probably weeing myself at a birthday party when I was 9, I used to be afraid of using other people's toilets when I was child so I would always try to hold in. Well suffice to say after pissing myself at 9 in front of 14 kids I quickly grew out of that fear, I still cringe thinking about this.

Fago!

Berkut wrote: »

ur a sick sick puppy :eek:

It's not as if I was gonna try finish when He was still there.

TheInquisitor

Most embarrassing thing that happened to me was catching my son **** today. I heard loads of oohing and ahhhing coming from the sitting room so went to investigate, and there he was going 90 on it. I even think he may have tried to finish after i'd left. Very embarrassing...

Canis Lupus

But.... You're in the living room having at it and your dad walks in...

I don't understand how you could be doing that at anytime when other people would be in the house. Bedroom or toilet yes cos people don't barge in but to be in the living room with your trousers down commencing in hand to gland combat makes no sense.

EDIT: And to not hear your dad approaching the door either...

ScumLord

At least he didn't ask you if you needed a hand.

Quint

Sleipnir wrote: »

And you tried to finish?

LOL!

Fago!

Canis Lupus wrote: »

But.... You're in the living room having at it and your dad walks in...

I don't understand how you could be doing that at anytime when other people would be in the house. Bedroom or toilet yes cos people don't barge in but to be in the living room with your trousers down commencing in hand to gland combat makes no sense.

EDIT: And to not hear your dad approaching the door either...

I should clarify HE was out at the time. and the door was locked. He's usually mad loud knockin things over, but today he was like a ninja.

az2wp0sye65487

Fago_25 wrote: »

I should clarify HE was out at the time. and the door was locked. He's usually mad loud knockin things over, but today he was like a ninja.

A ****-spying Ninja!

Fizman

Fago_25 wrote: »

He acted real cool and said "It's alright"

I'd just like to point out that there is nothing cool about a grown man saying "It's alright" while looking at his own son lashing into himself.

I reckon the 'cool' thing to do would have been to slowly back away. Nothing needs to be said or done in a situation like that tbh.

It should have panned out something like this...... :pac:

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/7400000/Abe-Simpson-walking-in-and-out-the-simpsons-7414427-320-240.gif

Fago!

Fizman wrote: »

I'd just like to point out that there is nothing cool about a grown man saying "It's alright" while looking at his own son lashing into himself.

Also what was weird about him say "It's alright" was that he said it like he was saying "It's alright, I forgive you"

Quint

When it comes to banging one out, what's worse:

Your dad walking in on you
or
You walking in on your dad?

Vain

Op do you have super soft hands?

oldyouth

Fago_25 wrote: »

Also, the worst thing is, I couldn't finish after he left cause all I could see was his judgemental face.:o quote]

He was probably hoping you had grown out of that behaviour when you turned 30

kittenkiller

Brilliant.
Thank you Fago_25.
Never going to be able to look at Kylie or (your dad) in the same light again, but totally worth it!

I've got nothing to contribute to make you feel less bad unfortunately, I'm pretty much perfect.

OMG and you've posted your pic on boards.ie to make things so much worse!!

Sleipnir

BUT YOU TRIED TO FINISH! A normal person would say to themselves
"hmmm. Perhaps this is not the right time, or location for me to be doing this right now"

You shrugged your shoulders and tried to make another dash for the finish line!

Oi, oi, oi!

Even George Costanza stopped when his mother caught him. That makes you worse than him!

Fizman

Quint wrote: »

When it comes to banging one out, what's worse:

Your dad walking in on you
or
You walking in on your dad?

If I EVER caught my Dad doing the dirt on my mom, even with Pam, I would beat the life out of him.

No questions asked.


scenario A is far more natural occurrence anyway tbh :pac:

Iang87

look on the bright side at least he didnt ask if you wanted a hand

Sleipnir

Fago_25 wrote: »

Also what was weird about him say "It's alright" was that he said it like he was saying "It's alright, I forgive you"

I bloody wouldn't. I like Kylie but God help your old man; any time he sees her he's going to break into a sweat.

oisinmc14

Iang87 wrote: »

look on the bright side at least he didnt ask if you wanted a hand

if he did say that he would be crowned the most witty person ever

Zadkiel

"I came down to the breakfast table
felt like I could die
Tried so hard but wasn't able
to look you in the eye

For i'm feeling so much shame
yes i have brought disgrace
i can tell i've soiled my good name
by the look upon your face

Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it
No use denyin it I was really crankin it
Well Dry your eyes don't be so sad
If you could just forgive me and talk to me, dad
talk to me dad

I didn't hear ya enter, no I didn't hear the door
with my hand upon my member and my pants upon the floor
Now burnt into your brain is an image you dispise
like blood and guts and starvin kids and Stevie Wonder's eyes

Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it
No use denyin it I was really crankin it
Well Dry your eyes don't be so sad
but I wouldn't use those tissues
They've already been had
Talk to me dad

The look upon your face made my swollen gland diminish
So I said, "Could ya close the door I really wanna finish"
Now daddy I'm ashamed and I'd completely understand
If you never wanna hug again or even shake my hand

Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it
No use denyin it I was really crankin it
Well Dry your eyes don't be so sad
Just because it was your bed
It's not that bad

When I was only seventeen, you told me it was dirty, so
it must be really creepy when your kid is pushin thirty
But you cannot tell me dad that you have never had a whack
At the thing that hangs below your belt and bumps into your sack

Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it
No use denyin it I was really crankin it
Well Dry your eyes don't be so sad
But I wouldn't use those tissues they've already been-
just because it was your bed
it's not that-
now daddy daddy please forgive me and talk to me dad
talk to me dad"

Thank you Stephen Lynch. A song for every occassion

4zn76tysfajdxp

Sleipnir wrote: »

I like Kylie but God help your old man; any time he sees her he's going to break into a sweat.

Just like his son, really.

allanb49

Quint wrote: »

When it comes to banging one out, what's worse:

Your dad walking in on you
or
You walking in on your dad?

What about walking in on the mother....

Neamhshuntasach

So what film did you watch today? Was it American Pie or maybe Sex Drive?

orestes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1QAsPLNDVc

tbh

a mate of mine was caught by his mam who started screaming "JESUS CHRIST, JESUS CHRIST WHAT ARE YOU DOING?????" must send him a text to remind him actually.

admiralofthefleet

sat down on chewing gum on the bus a few weeks ago and didnt realise til someone in work pointed it out. it was black and all over my arse and it looked like i had shat myself.
i had walked through town and gotten another bus without realising

pikachucheeks

I was sitting in an apartment with a bunch of friends, after a night out.
One of the guys was very drunk, so he just passed out on the couch, into a deep sleep.
The rest of us continued talking.
Short time later, we heard strange groaning noises. Looked over at him and he'd unbuttoned his jeans and was **** in his sleep!
Despite all the laughter and taunting, he didn't wake up and continued at it!
:eek:

D-A-V-E

haha this thread is hilarious!

most embarrasing moment was when i was walking into town, a city bus absolutely PACKED with people pulled up and a girl about my age (who in my defence looked very familier) started knocking at the window and waving, i was like..oh ya hi! and started waving back and smiling..then out of nowhere some random girl comes running from behind me towards the bus and talking to her friend..then the girl waving looked at me and gave me the wierdest look...much to the amusement to the crowd in the bus! i just walked on with the biggest red face..so embarracing!

SV

Can't believe you tried to finish OP...you're a sick sick man.

RubyK

I tend to sleep walk. That's ok at home, but not when staying in a hotel, and you find yourself in the corridor, in a tiny negligee, locked out of your room, and your OH doesn't hear you knocking on the door to get back in.

The walk of shame to find the hotel porter, to leave me back into the room, will haunt me forever :eek::o

Aidric

D-A-V-E wrote: »

haha this thread is hilarious!

most embarrasing moment was when i was walking into town, a city bus absolutely PACKED with people pulled up and a girl about my age (who in my defence looked very familier) started knocking at the window and waving, i was like..oh ya hi! and started waving back and smiling..then out of nowhere some random girl comes running from behind me towards the bus and talking to her friend..then the girl waving looked at me and gave me the wierdest look...much to the amusement to the crowd in the bus! i just walked on with the biggest red face..so embarracing!

More embarrassing for your english teacher I'd imagine.

Duckjob

Didn't happen to me luckily, but,

Back in school we had a youngish female teacher who used to wear quite short skirts and quite tight tops, and was the subject of much smutty talk among the lads.

One day, people were being called up to do an exercise at the board. One guy called seemed reluctant and had to be coerced by the teacher. Finally, with a very red face, he edged up to the board with a very noticable "tent" pitched in his trousers. Cue eruption of laughter around the classroom.

I don't know who was more embarassed, him or the teacher.

minidazzler

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I was sitting in an apartment with a bunch of friends, after a night out.
One of the guys was very drunk, so he just passed out on the couch, into a deep sleep.
The rest of us continued talking.
Short time later, we heard strange groaning noises. Looked over at him and he'd unbuttoned his jeans and was **** in his sleep!
Despite all the laughter and taunting, he didn't wake up and continued at it!
:eek:

Lol,

Was in a friends house once drinking away like a mad yoke there was a few of us there.

The mate who's house it was was upstairs doing the nasty with his GF.

We look through the door from the Front room into the kitchen which was frosted glass and see a friend **** away, well what we saw was a blurry hand moving frantically.

We snuck into the kitchen and caught him, he had no pron on even though he was using the comp, he was getting off to the sound of my mate fcuking:D He denied it for so long but eventually admitted it:D


My own embarrassing moment, I was drunk one night (See the pattern), and I was out clubbing with my friends, my mother was out with some friends that night too, and one of my friends had been in a different night club that is under the one I was in, G2 for those who know Cork I was in Gorbys and saw my mam in there!!! I still haven't lived it down!!!! (BTW, my mam is NOT A cougar, she was just out with some friends and they decided to go there)

Fago!

Duckjob wrote: »

Finally, with a very red face, he edged up to the board with a very noticable "tent" pitched in his trousers. Cue eruption of laughter around the classroom.

Ha I though t that said "Cue erection of laughter".

I don't know who was more embarassed, him or the teacher

I'd say HE was. Poor fella. It'd be worse (Funnier) there was loadsa girls in the class?

BaZmO*

Reminds me of that clip of the girl that gets caught by her dad flashing her t1ts on a webcam. Now THAT'S embarrassing!

VinnyTGM

At OP what do you expect, going at it in the living room your going to be caught out eventually.

dylano_k

Fago_25 wrote: »

Mine? Today I was caught wankin'. By my Dad!:o

He walks into the livin' room too see me, pants at ankles watchin the best of Kylie Minogue.* He quickly grabbed whatever he was lookin' for and left.

Things between me and him are awkward enough as it is (Dunno why exactly). He acted real cool and said "It's alright" but I know he's tellin his friends at the moment, who'll tell their sons (Who are my friends) and I know he'll tell my mam, and she'll tell my sister, and she'll tell her mates.... AAAAHHHHH THE HORROR!!! I can't look at him now.:o

I hope you'll make me feel a little bit better with your red faced moments.

Also, the worst thing is, I couldn't finish after he left cause all I could see was his judgemental face.:o

I should clarify HE was out at the time. I was alone in the house and the front door was locked. He's usually mad loud opening the front door but today he was like a ninja.

Sounds like you were having a danger ****....

e.g .1-
On the sitting room couch, put the iPod on full blast, close your eyes and whack away without opening your eyes til you finish and when you open your eyes look around to see if anyones there

e.g .2-
5 minutes before everybody's alarm goes off, walk out onto the landing, pants around the ankle and see if you can finish yourself off before everyone gets up to shower/get ready

Duck's hoop

A mate of mine was caught smoking by his ma when he was in early teens. She was horrified so he told her he only smoked as a masturbatory aid. As in when ****.

Needless to say this set her mind at ease.

Crow71

dylano_k wrote: »

Sounds like you were having a danger ****....

e.g .1-
On the sitting room couch, put the iPod on full blast, close your eyes and whack away without opening your eyes til you finish and when you open your eyes look around to see if anyones there

e.g .2-
5 minutes before everybody's alarm goes off, walk out onto the landing, pants around the ankle and see if you can finish yourself off before everyone gets up to shower/get ready

Or u could do it in the corner of your parents bedroom while the alarms are going off

genericguy

Quint wrote: »

When it comes to banging one out, what's worse:

Your dad walking in on you
or
You walking in on your dad?

ha, and if you had to do one to save the world, would you rather fcuk your mother or be fcuked by your father??

Duckjob

Fago_25 wrote: »

Ha I though t that said "Cue erection of laughter".



I'd say HE was. Poor fella. It'd be worse (Funnier) there was loadsa girls in the class?

It was a mixed class. The girls were pointing and giggling. The lads were roaring with laughter.

Was like something straight out of American Pie.. :pac:

dylano_k

genericguy wrote: »

ha, and if you had to do one to save the world, would you rather fcuk your mother or be fcuked by your father??

Mr. Garrison Sr.: Alright. Would you have sex with your son to save his life? [the others ponder the question]
Patron 2: Oh, this is one of them Scruples questions, ain't it?
Patron 1: No, no, I got a better one: Would you have sex with your mother to save your father's life?
Patrons: [wondering] Wooo, yeah.
Patron 2: Oh, like if someone had a gun to your father's head and said, "Have sex with your mother or else I'll shoot him"?
Patron 1: Yeah.
Patron 2: Oh, that's a tough one.
Patron 3: Hmmm.
Mr. Garrison Sr.: No no wait, uh, you don't understand.
Blond: How about if someone made you have sex with your mother and father to save your own life?
Patrons: No, no, no way. No.
Patron 6: But if it was to save my mother's life, uh-I think I would have to have sex with my father.
Patron 7: Yeup.
Patron 8: Me, too.
Patron 9: Well, I think that goes without saying.
Mr. Garrison Sr.: Well actually, I'm just… talking about a son.
Patron 8: Well, personally, I would have sex with my son to save to save my mother's life. It depends, uh- how big a gun are we talkin' here?
Mr. Garrison Sr.: Uh, he doesn't have a gun.
Blond: The father doesn't have a gun?
Mr. Garrison Sr.: No! Nobody's got a gun!
Patron 3: I think if someone said, "Have sex with your mother or else I'm gonna kill your son," but he didn't have a gun, I wouldn't do it.
Patron 2: He could have a knife, though.
Patron 1: Yeah.
Patron 3: Sure.
Patron 1: Yeah, a knife.
Bartender: If a killer put a knife to my throat, and said, "Have sex with your father or else I'm gonna kill your mother while having sex with you," I would have sex with myself.

Duckjob

Probably an urban myth, but I love that story about the lad tugging away furiously on his bed with his eyes closed, deep in fantasy.

When he finishes finally he opens his eyes, looks around and there's a mug of tea and a couple of digestives on his bedside table.

TheCardHolder

Was listening to the radio at a loud volume while drying my hair with a towel when suddenly my dad walked in and i'm standing there completly in the nip :pac:

Novella

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I was sitting in an apartment with a bunch of friends, after a night out.
One of the guys was very drunk, so he just passed out on the couch, into a deep sleep.
The rest of us continued talking.
Short time later, we heard strange groaning noises. Looked over at him and he'd unbuttoned his jeans and was **** in his sleep!
Despite all the laughter and taunting, he didn't wake up and continued at it!
:eek:

Ahahahaha, that's hilarious! Poor guy!