"oh ****, im the dumbest person of all time" moments

D.Q

i had one this morning...

after a night out on the town, i returned to my humble abode.
Upon arrival at the DieselQueen household, I had an itch for some pastabake that required immediate scratching.

So I got the pasta bake out of the fridge. Its that tesco stuff, 5 euro for a box. And I put it in the oven and turned it on. This was at half one.

I then sat down on the couch, and decided to rest my eyes, just for a minute.

I woke up at eight o clock.

The whole house was full of smoke and the pasta bake was a lump of coal in the oven. Thankfully, no one was hurt, or burned. Although, bizarrely the smoke alarm didnt go off at all.

Thankfully I woke up, or smoke inhalation would have seen to it that i wouldnt be posting this at all!

Volvoboy

DieselQueen wrote: »

i had one this morning...

after a night out on the town, i returned to my humble abode.
Upon arrival at the DieselQueen household, I had an itch for some pastabake that required immediate scratching.

So I got the pasta bake out of the fridge. Its that tesco stuff, 5 euro for a box. And I put it in the oven and turned it on. This was at half one.

I then sat down on the couch, and decided to rest my eyes, just for a minute.

I woke up at eight o clock.

The whole house was full of smoke and the pasta bake was a lump of coal in the oven. Thankfully, no one was hurt, or burned. Although, bizarrely the smoke alarm didnt go off at all.

Thankfully I woke up, or smoke inhalation would have seen to it that i wouldnt be posting this at all!

Not quite to the same extent of burning down a house, but i have been known to reply to a topic in AH

**Timbuk2**

Did you eat the pasta-bake anyway?

I would have!

4zn76tysfajdxp

DieselQueen wrote: »

The whole house was full of smoke and the pasta bake was a lump of coal in the oven.

Never mind burning down the house. If you had left it in the oven 'til now, you would've had a diamond! Talk about a faux-pas...

D.Q

Lyric Harsh Swatter wrote: »

Never mind burning down the house. If you had left it in the oven 'til now, you would've had a diamond! Talk about a faux-pas...

if i could thank you more than once i would.:D

Kold

5 euros for a stodgey ready made pasta bake? That's fairly stupid alright.

For 5 euros I could make you a ton of lovely pasta bake.

FearDark

I know that pasta bake OP is on about, its the bacon, chicken, pasta and cheese one and its just UNREAL!! Its got to be redicilously bad for you but Id murder some of it right now!

artanevilla

FearDark wrote: »

I know that pasta bake OP is on about, its the bacon, chicken, pasta and cheese one and its just UNREAL!! Its got to be redicilously bad for you but Id murder some of it right now!

Too ****ing right, one of them bad boys at 3am after work.

Pygmalion

Went to the campus laundrette for the first time today, loaaded in my clothes, put in my money and turned it on.

Nothing happened.

I put my clothes in the dryer and then wasted €3 turning the washer on.

Tar.Aldarion

liked somebody, they rang and texted me all the time, every day for years and didn't figure out until a few years later they were interested in me, when they told me. What a tool.

Crumble Froo

oof, lucky one, OP.

i used to do my homework in bed when i was at school, and had a little desklamp thing that i'd prop up on the mattress. of course, it didnt have a shade, and one night, i fell asleep with it still on... woke up to my mam shouting at me to get up, my first words 'oh **** did i sleep in?', only to realise that there were flames on my bed.

bloody thing'd fallen over, and the heat of the lamp eventually set my mattress on fire.

AnonoBoy

Never had one of those myself.

No matter how stupid something is that I've done I'll always know that Brendan O'Connor is out there so I'll never be the dumbest person out there.

Tar.Aldarion

I also said to my friend 'screw san diego, we should go to california'

DURRRR

do't want to think too hard about this lest worse ones start appearing

kumate_champ07

I put some garlic bread in the oven and locked myself out of my flat 20mins later. had no phone credit or bicycle. had to walk into town and find a locksmith that was available in the evening time. the guy who did the job was in his late 60's I'd say, I wonder if he's every used his powers for evil

Gillington

Unlike the OP I actually did manage to do some damage doing the exact same thing,fell asleep waitin on me fish fingers to cook in my ex's house! Firstly I forgot that with this oven you had to leave the door slightly ajar then I fell asleep in the sitting room.My missus was beating lumps out of me til i woke up when I did I barely got to see the black char marks the fire caused all over the brand new white kitchen,as I had hopped over the back garden to run home which was a 20 min drive away.

I went out with her for another couple of years after that,was never allowed cook again tho

Whiskey Devil

It's Saturday night. I should have left work at 6 o' clock, but I'm still here. I'm some eejit.

InkSlinger67

AnonoBoy wrote: »

...Brendan O'Connor is out there so I'll never be the dumbest person out there.

Hey, Hey, Hey! I'll not have that said against a man who RTE say:

His sometimes sharp comments have often proved controversial but most people agree that the result is usually more of a giggle than a gasp. Brendan always says he is the voice of the viewer and that he "is only saying what the people at home are really thinking".

I think I'm having one of those moments you speak of OP!

artanevilla

Gillington wrote: »

Unlike the OP I actually did manage to do some damage doing the exact same thing,fell asleep waitin on me fish fingers to cook in my ex's house! Firstly I forgot that with this oven you had to leave the door slightly ajar then I fell asleep in the sitting room.My missus was beating lumps out of me til i woke up when I did I barely got to see the black char marks the fire caused all over the brand new white kitchen,as I had hopped over the back garden to run home which was a 20 min drive away.

I went out with her for another couple of years after that,was never allowed cook again tho

This is a bad thing?

hullaballoo

I sent the (very) rough draft of my thesis to my lecturer with all of the notes-to-self intact. My favourite being, "talk about [x] here and hurry the fuck up about it!" Another one was along the lines of "oh, you so smrt!"

He sent back an email telling me the attachment was "corrupt". Nicely played.

helimachoptor

Parents away on holidays... day 1 came in and turned the deep fat fryer on and made some onion rings about 3am.. went to bed but didnt turn it off all the way.. came down in the morning to a smoky and smelly house!!

Day 3.. turned on the gas fire and left it on for 2 days on a low flame withour noticing

cjbh

Shortly after the Euro was introduced (around 2001?), my friend came back from the US.

I asked him for a euro to buy something. When he gave it to me, I looked at the back and saw it had a kind of bald eagle on it (instead of the usual harp).

I asked, "oh cool, is that the American Euro?"

...

InkSlinger67

cjbh wrote: »

I asked, "oh cool, is that the American Euro?"...

Whats a Euro Daddy?

BroomBurner

About 20 minutes ago I misjudged the length of the bench I was sitting on in a restaurant and instead of sliding out, I managed to propel myself out and land on my arse on the floor.
Right beside a table of about 5 or 6 strangers. Couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Cupcake_Crisis

One time I was drying my hair on my bed, which wasnt smart since the noise of the hair dryer makes me feel really sleepy. So i dosed off with the hair dryer still on, i woke up about half an hour later to find smoke flying up out of my duvet. Nice nap though

Or therer was the time i was making one of thise microwavable pasta sauces but i forgot to cut a little hole in the top and the ntire thing exploded all over the microwave. What a mess!

Mars Bar

Pygmalion wrote: »

Went to the campus laundrette for the first time today, loaaded in my clothes, put in my money and turned it on.

Nothing happened.

I put my clothes in the dryer and then wasted €3 turning the washer on.

That made me laugh loads!

*giggles*

I left my sister's teddy which she got for Christmas on top of the bedside lamp because it looked nice. Turned on the lamp and fecked off for about an hour. I came back and the arse was burned out of it. Hid it in the wardrobe and denied it's existence until she forgot about it. She got it back eventually in a less than mint condition to say the least. Whoops

boodlesdoodles

I once asked my OH when Italia 90 was...yes those exact words. Felt ever so slightly thick afterwards.

mikemac

"Hi, I'm looking for your parents."
"Oh, they're out but call back in a hour."
"I'll do that so"
"Ok, do you need our phone number?"
"Eh, I have your phone number. I'm calling you on it......"

longshanks

after a bit of travelling around the place a couple of years ago some of us ended up on holiday in portugal for a week or so. one night we were heading back from a party to the apartment we had when this little girl came running up to us, 'hey i bet ya i can hide better than you' she said. 'prove it' we replied

TheZohanS

longshanks wrote: »

after a bit of travelling around the place a couple of years ago some of us ended up on holiday in portugal for a week or so. one night we were heading back from a party to the apartment we had when this little girl came running up to us, 'hey i bet ya i can hide better than you' she said. 'prove it' we replied

And when she went home her parents killed her for being so late.

Poor Uncle Tom

TheZohan wrote: »

And when she went home her parents killed her for being so late.

Thats me off the hook so.......

NotMe

Dumbest thing I've done recently:
I was in Argos buying something for €12 I think it was. So I go up to pay and she says "that's 12 euro" and I hand over a tenner. I had 2 twenties and a 10 in my wallet and I could have sworn I handed over 20. She looks at me and says "have you got another 2 euro" and I have a look in my wallet, knowing I've no change and say "mmm no sorry". She's still sitting there looking at me and I'm thinking what's going on here. She says again "it's 12 euro" and I just reply "yeah". And then she holds up the tenner and says "you only gave me ten" and I finally copped on. I did feel pretty dumb at that moment.

Danbo!

not the greatest joke I ever told, but ….

Me: what's the hardest part of eating a vegatable?
Other guy: I dunno
me: the wheelchair
Other guy: that's not funny
me: ah will ye lighten up it's a joke.
Other guy: no, my mother is in a wheelchair
me: eh, sorry.

Two weeks later……
me: ……she's from Mayo.
Other guy: oh my mothers helper is from Mayo.
Me: your mother has a helper? How lazy is she?
Other guy: eh, she needs help around the house because of the whole wheelchair thing.
Me: oh, eh, yeah, sorry again.

Senna

Years ago, i went for a one day trial for a new job. Got on really well and loved the place, at the end of the trial, the boss offered me the job, i said "yeah great i'll take it". He said "thats grand, call me on Friday before 3pm to confirm your taking it". So i had a few day off in between and went on a mad bender to celebrate, never sobered up till Saturday by which time i had forgot to call him and he gave the job to someone else.

**Timbuk2**

My brother was saying that he was going to break up with his girlfriend

Cue me one day, walking into the sitting room and seeing his girlfriend on the couch in tears.
Me: "Ah, so he did break up with you"
Her [sobbing]: "What?"

She had been crying because her dog got ran over

kevin bacon on here last night fully convinced that a clock went anti-clockwise.. had to argue the point with him. his excuse was bein left handed and drunk.

doyler, ur reading this nd ur a retard.!

Kevin Bacon

Deleted User wrote: »

kevin bacon on here last night fully convinced that a clock went anti-clockwise.. had to argue the point with him. his excuse was bein left handed and really really drunk.

doyler, ur reading this nd ur a retard.!

Thats slighty better.............

iLoveTwilight

Awh im always doing this .. The time on my phone would be say 18:30 and id look at it and say "oh its 8:30"

Getting off the bus and i said "we left at a quarter past 8 and we got here at a quarter past 7 thats brilliant timing" Course i meant a quarter past 6 not a quarter past 8 -.-

I do it all the blooming time , my boyfriend slags me so much over it !

Michellenman

I once asked my friend for the Biggest sheet of A4 paper she could find...

Edsgravy0

Had an English mock exam at quarter past nine or whatever

Left the house thinking I was making good time, strutting up the road, the height of confidence

I'd forgotten that there was 60 mins in an hour, not 100. I thought 'quarter past nine' meant 9:25

Got a B :cool: and detention (really, what's the point)

Riddle101

I've had a fair share of stupid moments, some of which have been on Boards.ie. But one in particular would be when I turned the immersion on to have a shower one night and a forgot the turn it off. So it was on for an entire day.

Had an English mock exam at quarter past nine or whatever

Left the house thinking I was making good time, strutting up the road, the height of confidence

I'd forgotten that there was 60 mins in an hour, not 100. I thought 'quarter past nine' meant 9:25

Got a B and detention (really, what's the point)

Ah when I was doing my Junior Cert years ago, I had a Geography exam that I thought was on at 2:00pm but turned out it was on at 1:30pm. Cue me looking at the timetable at around 1:25pm and having to run full speed to my school which is about 10 minutes away and up a hill. Not just that but towards the end of the exam I thought I finished, only to realise that I forgot the short questions which were on a different page behind my exam, it was like that episode of Mr Bean when he's doing the exam and finds the other maths paper in the envelope. I failed the exam sadly.

*giggles*

Riddle101 wrote: »

I've had a fair share of stupid moments, some of which have been on Boards.ie. But one in particular would be when I turned the immersion on to have a shower one night and a forgot the turn it off. So it was on for an entire day.

WHAT!:eek:
You left the immersion on for the entire day?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52bna-tn_dY

themilkyone

My brother stopped by the house for a visit recently. On his way out he left his mobile on the hall table. I thought I'd be nice and text him to let him know :rolleyes:

Danbo!

Sitting in a pub with a crowd.

Me: what do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath? Throw in your washing.

Got a tap on the shoulder. Some bloke tells me his son was epileptic and had died only recently. Feeling terrible I apologised for makin fun of it and it was nothing personal.

He said-
" ah don't worry about it, it was probably my fault, he choked on one of me socks"

Fago!

Mine all concern the english language and my in ability to pronounce words.

I used to work in Tesco and I picked up a table-cloth, brought it to my boss and sez to 'im "What's a tab-la cloth" He looked at me and walked away.

Another time I was flickin' through the channels on t'telly box and sez "what's the disco vary channel?"

Also, was reading a magazine and came across an article about fruit, and saw a funny lookin' word. I thought, "What's a Banna Nah?

Mee fayl inglish? Tha'ts umppppossible

citizen_p

hmmmm othng major.... guess im not that stupid after all

Captain Havoc

I had a shocker in soccer a couple of years back. I was thinking of making a comeback and it was our first pre-season friendly. I was playing my usual left back position. I got the ball about 30+ yards from our goal, the winger was coming towards me so I decided to kick it back to the keeper. I misjudged the pass to our keeper who was on the edge of the box, it went right over him and into the goal. It was so bad, if I did it at the other end it would've been goal of the season. The next friendly I played the last five minutes and after that I retired again until this season.

Atavan-Halen

I put on a boiled egg a few weeks ago, and while it was cooking I decided to play the xbox. An hour and a half or so later I return into the kitchen to get a drink (completely forgotten about the egg) to find a very hot pot with an egg in it and no water. I also completely mixed up my Junior cert timetable and thought I had the day off, turns out I didn't and I didn't do my religion and science exams.

larchielads

a cousin of mine rang his mates home number, his dad answered and my cousin asked to speak to his mate, so when the mate comes on the phone my cousin says, "well! where are ye?"

my housemate was just back from playin ball wit a few of the lads on an astro turf pitch, he describes how badly one of the lads knees were cut up, "Walty's knees were bleedin from head to toe!"

Bill-e

I was on the pi$$ up in Cavan in a Rosie and jim type barge thing with the lads. I made some pasta and then headed out on the town with the group.
My bed was in the kitchen/seating area of the boat. Got back late that night and conked out on the seats. I woke up at about 4 am freezing cause the sunroof/skylight thing was still open. Tried to get up to close it but fell back down drunk.

Next morning went to light the cooker for some Rashers only to blow up a small corner of the kitchen. Had left the gas on all night! >:o
If I had managed to close that thingie I'd not be here right now!

smallerthanyou

Was been driven from sligo to dublin..asked what the route was n was told boyle,carrick-on-shannon,longford etc..followed that q up wit where do we cross the shannon..